The Seaside Angel

by Evie Grace

  ‘Let me see what I can do. If I can coordinate her visit with the next group of patients travelling to Margate, then she will have an escort both ways, someone to guide her.’

  ‘And keep hold of her ticket,’ Doctor Clifton added with a smile.

  ‘Then I’d be very grateful,’ Hannah said. ‘Let me know your address, Mr Piper, and I’ll forward the money to you.’

  ‘You’re too kind, Nurse Bentley. Doctor Clifton has my address.’

  Doctor Clifton changed the subject. ‘I wonder if Sister Trim will allow you to assist me with the outpatients today. There are at least two ladies who have suffered fainting fits, having seen the tigers on their way along the beach, and a young man who’s been knocked down by a carriage.’

  ‘You must ask her,’ Hannah said firmly.

  ‘I’ll do that,’ he said, and a few minutes later, Sister came to let her know that she was free to go.

  ‘You can’t do much on the ward for now anyway, not with that creature in the way,’ she grumbled, pointing at the monkey. ‘It’s shedding hair and dander everywhere. Off you go. Don’t keep Doctor Clifton waiting.’

  ‘I thought you might have had Mr Piper with you,’ Hannah said, joining him in the outpatients’ department where there were the usual queues with Mr Taylor – the inquiry officer – trying to keep order.

  ‘He’s gone to bathe before he returns to London – he never stays for long,’ Doctor Clifton said.

  ‘Where do we start?’ she asked.

  ‘At the beginning, I hope,’ he said, and she couldn’t help wondering if he was talking about something else.

  ‘I’ll see who Mr Taylor has lined up for you.’

  The first patient was one of the ladies who had swooned at the sight of the tigers. Having deemed that she’d made a full recovery, Doctor Clifton sent her on her way with a tonic and instructions to wear looser clothing in future, her stays being too tightly laced for her health.

  ‘I don’t think she’ll listen,’ he said, as he wrote up his notes. ‘I hate the way that ladies insist on doing themselves injury for the sake of vanity. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean in general terms …’ He looked up at Hannah, his brow furrowed. ‘Will you forgive me?’

  ‘As long as you promise not to say such things again,’ she smiled. ‘It’s most derogatory to the female sex.’

  ‘I realise that.’

  ‘You are quite harsh when you mention your sisters,’ she added.

  ‘They’re very vain, but they’re also kind-hearted and clever. They’ve been unfortunate in their lack of formal education. If they’d had the same opportunities, they would have done just as well as Henry and me.’

  ‘You mean they could have become doctors?’

  ‘Indeed. There’s no reason in my mind why a woman can’t be a physician – perhaps she would have a better rapport with female patients than a man. They couldn’t be surgeons – the work is too much like butchery – but to that end, I don’t see why men shouldn’t aspire to be nurses.’

  ‘I don’t think Mrs Knowles would approve, but it is an idea. It turns the world on its head to think of a woman giving a man orders – many men wouldn’t take kindly to that.’

  ‘I see no problem with it.’

  ‘Then you are enlightened.’ Hannah found herself yearning to feel his touch – his hand on her wrist, his fingers marking her pulse like he did with his patients. Alarmed at the intensity of her feelings, she stepped across and opened the door. ‘I’ll call the next one in.’

  They saw several more patients. Doctor Clifton admitted the man who’d been run over by the carriage for treatment to his broken leg, then sent Hannah to find bandages for a girl who had cut her leg on a knife she’d picked up from a drawer at her lodgings.

  When she returned, the girl was sitting up on the trolley with her leg stretched out, the doctor pressing a wad of gauze to her wound, and her mother looking on.

  ‘If you keep the pressure on, Nurse, I’ll dress this,’ Doctor Clifton said.

  She handed him the bandage and safety pins and took his place, their fingers touching each time he wound the bandage around the pad, tightening it to stem the bleeding.

  ‘There,’ he said. ‘You may let go now. I’ll finish the bandage above the ankle and fasten it, so it doesn’t fall down.’

  It looked terrible, Hannah thought, remembering how Grandma’s stockings used to ruckle as they slipped down her ankles during the day.

  Once he’d pinned the top of the bandage, Doctor Clifton sent the child and her mother on their way with instructions to return two days later.

  ‘I don’t think that dressing will last that long,’ Hannah commented as they left the room.

  ‘I’m sorry – I should have let you do it.’

  ‘Yes, you should. I’d have made a much neater job of it,’ she teased.

  ‘I’ve always been bad at delegating,’ he sighed. ‘Was that the last one?’

  ‘It was,’ she confirmed. ‘Now I must get back to the Lettsom.’

  ‘Nurse Bentley,’ he said quickly. ‘May I be so bold as to ask you to meet me today, or at any other time at your convenience?’

  ‘What for?’

  ‘It’s rather presumptuous, I know, but there are things I’d like to talk to you about. Not here, and not in front of your sister.’ She thought she detected a tremor in his voice, and a catch in his breathing as he waited for her reply.

  ‘It’s my day off tomorrow, but I’ve promised Ruby that I’ll take her to the Hall by the Sea. Perhaps, if it won’t take long, you could walk me home this evening. This is infirmary business?’

  ‘In part.’

  Then it would be permissible, she thought.

  ‘Meet me on the beach at eight,’ she said.

  ‘I look forward to it,’ he said softly.

  ‘I have to go.’ She hurried out of the room, a hot flush spreading across her neck at the thought of seeing him again – and alone – that day.

  In a turmoil of uncertainty, she threw herself into cleaning up after the monkey, which Alan and his parents had retrieved and taken away with the rest of the animals. She scrubbed the floors and polished the windows, wondering what Doctor Clifton wanted to talk about. It had to be Charlie, or perhaps his plans for his private clinic. What other interest could he possibly have in asking her for some of her time?

  Chapter Nine

  The Hall by the Sea

  Hannah washed her face and put her hair up again in the sluice room after dining at the house, then made her excuses to Charlotte who asked if she could come and join her and Ruby for an hour or so for company.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I’m completely shattered … Another time.’

  ‘All right then. I’ll see you the day after tomorrow.’ They wished each other goodnight, and Hannah headed out of the infirmary and along the front as if she was returning to her lodgings. When she was sure that she was out of Charlotte’s view, she turned back and slipped noiselessly down the steps on to the beach where she loitered, gazing out across the water to the far horizon.

  ‘Good evening.’ Doctor Clifton stepped up beside her, bent down and picked up a small pebble which he threw out across the breaking waves. ‘Thank you for being here – I wasn’t sure you’d come.’

  A couple walked past, then a family with a line of children trailing along behind them.

  ‘The town is overrun,’ he observed. ‘With the trains, every man and his dog can afford to come to Margate.’

  ‘You wouldn’t begrudge them a pleasant day or two out?’ she smiled.

  ‘I suppose I shouldn’t. I welcome everyone, except the nose-baggers who bring their own provisions, and those who don’t pay their bills in a timely manner. I employ an accountant to manage my financial affairs, and he’s been having the devil’s own job extracting payment from some of my patients. It’s usually the better-off ones who fail to cough up, so to speak.’

  ‘Are you talking of anyone I know?’

  He nod
ded. ‘She wishes to delay settlement of her bill until she’s certain that she’s cured, but I suspect it has more to do with the fact that she hasn’t told her husband she’s been consulting me about her ailments.’

  ‘Will there be trouble when he finds out?’

  ‘For her, possibly. For me, no. I’ve had a chaperone present every time, and recorded the details of our conversations in my notes. Anyway, I didn’t ask you here to talk medicine. Shall we walk?’

  ‘Which way?’ The balmy evening breeze caught the words as they came out of her mouth. What was she thinking of, giving him the option?

  ‘Don’t you have to get home to your sister?’

  ‘Not straight away.’ She looked up into his eyes, afraid that he would consider her too forward.

  ‘Then we will walk to the far end of the bay,’ he said quietly.

  They strolled side by side, but apart, along the tideline where the sea had washed up strands of seaweed and shells, a glistening crab carapace and a feather.

  ‘What is it you wished to talk about, Doctor Clifton?’ she asked eventually, noticing how he kept his hands behind his back and his body straight. He wore a shirt and silk cravat, dark trousers and black leather shoes. As the evening light caught the angles of his face, he looked more handsome than ever.

  He cleared his throat. ‘I wanted to say how much I admire you for what you did for Charlie today.’

  ‘Anyone would have organised it, if they could,’ she said, her forehead tightening.

  ‘I’ve paid Mr Piper for the ticket—’

  ‘You’ve done what?’ She turned abruptly to face him as he stopped dead in his tracks.

  ‘I’ve given him the money …’ he stammered.

  ‘I know that, but why? What did you do it for?’

  ‘I did it for you, knowing that you’re paid very little for what you do.’

  ‘What right did you have to do that? That was to be my gift to Charlie and his mother.’

  ‘I didn’t think you’d mind.’ His expression darkened. ‘It was supposed to be a kindness on my part.’

  Hannah took several steps backwards along the beach. Doctor Clifton followed.

  ‘I didn’t mean to offend you,’ he said, ‘but I should have thought—’

  ‘Yes, you should,’ she interrupted crossly. ‘Or you could have asked me first. Just because you’re a doctor doesn’t mean you’re entitled to take charge of everything. It’s demeaning of you to imagine that I can’t afford to pay for that ticket. I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t have the money.’

  ‘I know, I know … You’ve made it clear, and I realise that now. I’m sorry. I went barging in like a bull in a china shop, but I wasn’t doing it to gain approbation for myself. My motives were pure – I did it for you.’

  On hearing the splash of a breaking wave that rushed across the sand, she dodged away, but Doctor Clifton was too late. The water spread across the tops of his shoes, soaking the bottoms of his trouser legs. As the wave retreated, he looked down, then back up at Hannah who held out her hand.

  ‘Don’t just stand there – the tide’s coming in. I’m cross with you, but that doesn’t mean I want you to drown.’ His face creased in a comical grimace as he reached out and took her hand, linking his fingers through hers. ‘Oh dear,’ she chuckled as she led him a little way up the shore, his feet squelching as he walked.

  He stopped and took off his shoes, emptying them of water, before putting them back on again.

  ‘Is this adequate penance for you?’ he grumbled.

  ‘Oh yes, I think so,’ she said gaily. ‘It’s my turn to apologise – perhaps I shouldn’t have reacted in the way I did.’

  ‘That isn’t a proper apology – you said “perhaps”, not that you definitely shouldn’t have been so quick to judge my actions.’

  ‘Well, I am sorry. I’m sure you meant well. Shall we go back towards town?’

  ‘I’m happy to walk further – my shoes are ruined already,’ he said wryly, and they continued along the curve of the bay. He offered his arm, but she didn’t take it.

  ‘I don’t want to give people anything to talk about,’ she said gently, noticing how his eyes grew hooded and his mouth turned down at the corners.

  ‘I’d never do anything to hurt your reputation,’ he said, backing down. ‘It’s just that I wish …’

  ‘What is it?’ she said anxiously.

  ‘I’m not very good when it comes to matters of the heart.’

  ‘But you are a physician, and an expert in how the organs of the body work,’ she said, trying to lighten the mood.

  ‘Please don’t take offence when I say that you sound almost militant when you defend your independence.’

  ‘A woman should always have a means of supporting herself.’

  ‘It’s good for her to have something to fall back on, in case her husband falls to ruin, I suppose, but I don’t understand why she would place her occupation above marriage when the latter can provide the ultimate in joy and fulfilment,’ Doctor Clifton said. ‘Towards the end, Suzanna gave me her blessing to take a new wife, but I couldn’t do it, not for a long time, because I felt guilty for even thinking about another woman.’

  ‘You have been … lucky in a way that you have experienced that joy, albeit cut short in such sad circumstances …’ She picked her words carefully. ‘I’ve seen couples such as my uncle and aunt who are content, but my father’s attitudes have put me off the idea of marriage. I’ll never forget how he took his second, much younger wife, with indecent haste after my mother’s death.’

  ‘From what you’ve said, he had two young daughters who needed a mother’s love and guidance. I don’t think it’s unreasonable.’

  ‘My stepmother rejected me and my sister – we were inconveniences.’

  ‘But was he happy again?’

  ‘She gave him what he wanted: the sons my mother had been unable to provide. After the death of one of my half-brothers, my father reverted to his cruel and abusive ways.’

  ‘I’m sorry to hear that, but every marriage is different – I adored my wife. She was loving, kind, forgiving … as I did my best to be towards her. You see, it’s about give and take … I’m not sure I’m making myself clear.’

  ‘You’re a good man, but being a member of the medical profession, you have this knack of making the simplest observations sound rather obtuse.’

  ‘Sometimes I think that nurses were put on Earth only to take the rise out of us poor, naive doctors,’ he sighed.

  ‘I speak the truth. You know me by now.’

  ‘You are always perfectly – painfully – frank,’ he admitted. ‘Anyway, things are different for me now. I’ve met a young lady – an angel, in fact – who’s changed how I feel. She’s beautiful, virtuous and kind, and brings out the best in me.’

  ‘Doctor Clifton, I can’t possibly advise you,’ Hannah said quickly. She wasn’t sure how she felt: pleased that he wished to confide in her; envious of the woman in question; hurt that he felt affection for somebody other than her. She took a deep breath, controlling her responses. It was ridiculous to feel this way when she had no claim on him, and no desire for wedlock.

  ‘You are the only person I can talk to.’

  ‘What about your sisters?’

  ‘They’d tease the life out of me. Please …’

  ‘Does she love you?’ she asked.

  ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘Do you love her?’

  He nodded. ‘My greatest fear is that she’ll turn me down, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take.’

  ‘She is a lucky lady.’

  ‘I’m talking about you, Nurse Bentley …’

  ‘Me?’ He had confused her. ‘I’ll never put myself in the hands of a husband, not having seen the way my father mistreated his wives. I’m sorry – I’m not saying that you’re anything like him, but this way, I make my own decisions and I’m free to do as I please.’

  ‘As you would be as my wife …’

/>   She stopped and stared at him.

  ‘Your wife? You are making me an offer?’

  ‘Yes … yes, a proposal … if you wish … if you would do me the honour …’

  Her heart began to pound, her head to swirl like the waves across the sand.

  ‘Oh … I’m sorry …’ she said in a hoarse whisper.

  ‘I’ve overstepped the mark. I don’t know what made me think—’

  ‘Let me speak first. I am fond of you – very fond – but I have … Oh, it’s unfeminine to talk of it, but I will say it. I’ve worked very hard and made great sacrifices to become a nurse, and I dream of becoming a sister and then matron of a great hospital.’

  ‘I admire you for it,’ he said with a trace of bitterness. ‘I wouldn’t seek to clip your wings when it comes to following your vocation.’

  ‘I hope we can still be pleasant with each other.’

  ‘Of course. Forgive me. Let me walk you home as we agreed.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  It felt like the longest walk she’d ever taken, as they strode in silence back to the lodgings house where he left her in the shadows cast by the gaslight outside.

  ‘Goodnight,’ he said gruffly.

  ‘Goodnight,’ she echoed as she watched him turn and retreat along the road, her heart and soul aching with regret. How could she call herself ‘free’ when they were all bound in some way – by conscience, social convention and training? She remembered a conversation she’d had with her grandmother when she went into nursing.

  ‘Young ladies may aspire to a love match, but the foundations of similarity and common purpose are more important than the flimsy scaffold of affection,’ Grandma had said. ‘Are you sure you wish to pursue this course when you could have a life without hardship, being married and bringing up children?’

  She’d responded that she’d thought it through and didn’t want to be dependent on a man to keep her off the streets.

  ‘Even if you loved him?’ Grandma had asked, making her blush. ‘Not every man is like your father.’

  ‘Yes, even if I loved him … I would resist those feelings.’

  ‘It isn’t as simple as you make out. Oh, to be young again …’ Grandma had smiled, and, although Hannah had chuckled at her wisdom then, she acknowledged the truth in it now.