The Seaside Angel

by Evie Grace

  ‘You really should have come to me first. I advise you to stop them and return to taking a half-pint of seawater daily.’

  ‘Isn’t there some sweeter medicine? I’d rather take champagne.’

  ‘I’m afraid not. There are occasions when one must feel worse before one feels better.’

  ‘I see. Oh dear, it sounds like purgatory.’

  When she had gone, they saw several more patients before James excused himself to attend to his messages. Hannah cleaned the examination room from top to bottom, making it smell of carbolic and lemon. When she was ready to leave, James met her in reception.

  ‘You must stop for luncheon. We can go to the inn nearby for refreshment. It’s my housekeeper’s half-day – she won’t be at home to cook for me.’ He glanced at his cast. ‘I’m not much good at making anything for myself. What do you think?’

  ‘It’s very kind of you, James, but—’

  ‘You want to rush back to the house to sit with Mercy?’

  She nodded. She didn’t like to waste a minute.

  ‘Nurse Huckstep is with her, and visiting doesn’t start for half an hour. We’ve had this conversation before – you have to keep yourself healthy, for the infant’s sake. Come with me – we’ll be less than one hour, I promise.’

  They went to one of the local hotel dining rooms where they ordered a light lunch of cold meats and potatoes, the waiter serving James’s meat pre-cut.

  ‘He seems particularly attentive,’ Hannah observed.

  ‘They know me well here. How are you, Hannah?’

  ‘I’ve felt better,’ she admitted. ‘I can’t sleep for nightmares. I keep thinking I should have done something to save my sister.’

  ‘I noticed your father didn’t come to the funeral.’

  ‘He’s a bad-tempered and brutal man, and I wish I wasn’t his flesh and blood. I think that was part of the problem – Ruby was looking for a man’s approval, something he never gave. If it hadn’t been Mr Milani, she would have thrown herself in the way of somebody else.’

  ‘She must have been terrified when she found out she was with child, not just for herself but for the effect it would have on you.’

  ‘Why didn’t she turn to me? I should have been kinder, more understanding.’

  ‘She wanted to protect you for as long as she could. I’m sorry that I couldn’t see what was going on.’

  ‘How could you have done? She put on a front while she was at work – it was only when she was at home that she would slip into a slough of despond. I wish I’d been able to share my concerns for her, but how could I when she had broken the rules of polite society by consorting with Mr Milani? And then there is the stigma of it – a mother is supposed to be loving and protective of her infant.’

  ‘I’m just as guilty for not raising the subject of disorders of the mind. My wife – Suzanna – she didn’t blunder into the fire and catch her nightgown alight. I walked into the parlour to find her standing beside the grate, pouring lamp oil down her gown and holding a lighted match. As I shouted at her to stop, she touched the match to the oil and – it was too late. The flames engulfed her …’

  ‘I’m so sorry.’

  ‘I’ve never told anyone of this before. It took a long time for me to forgive her. I was angry with her, very angry. And ashamed for feeling that way as I watched her endure a lingering death from her burns. I understand your suffering, Hannah. I let the coroner interpret the situation as he wished. I regret that I lied – or rather kept the truth to myself at the inquest – but I wanted to protect her reputation, her family and myself. I couldn’t forgive her at first, but now I know there was nothing I could do to save her. One day, she would have tried again and succeeded.’

  ‘As I’ve said before, Ruby followed in my mother’s footsteps,’ Hannah said. ‘She took her own life soon after Ruby was born, and my family kept that a secret too.’

  ‘It appears that these disorders can be passed down through families from one generation to the next. I’m making it part of my life’s work to investigate how to treat the afflicted to prevent further suffering. That’s why I see the likes of Mrs Phillips at my clinic. One day, we’ll find a cure for these ills which cause as much difficulty to patients and their loved ones as physical disorders. I hope that as my cousin develops his practice, I’ll be able to take on fewer of the routine cases and concentrate on conditions of mood and mental distress.’

  ‘It’s an admirable ambition, and I hope you make progress quickly.’

  ‘What Ruby did, I’m sure she did out of love. She would have hoped for a better future for her daughter and wanted you to carry on nursing, unfettered by the responsibility and financial cost of looking after your niece.’

  It was a reasonable explanation, she thought, biting back a fresh attack of tears.

  ‘I’m very grateful for your friendship,’ she said eventually. ‘There are some who won’t give me the time of day.’

  ‘Then that is their loss,’ he smiled gently. ‘I’m sure you’ve thought about the future. Have you any plans for Mercy when she’s well enough to leave the house?’

  ‘I’ve done little but think,’ she admitted.

  ‘She’ll remain on the ward for at least another couple of weeks.’

  ‘The wet nurse …?’ she began.

  ‘It’s all right. She’s all paid for—’

  ‘I don’t like accepting charity, but I have no choice in this instance. I’m exceedingly grateful, but I intend to pay you back every penny.’

  ‘Let’s not worry about that now,’ James said. ‘Have you heard anything from Mrs Knowles?’

  Hannah shook her head.

  ‘She’s informed me that the meeting has been put back by a few days.’

  ‘It makes no difference,’ Hannah said wearily. ‘I have little hope of being restored to my place.’

  ‘I think there is some room for optimism,’ James insisted. ‘The infirmary has received many donations of food, bandages and money since the publicity in the newspapers. I shall advise that it doesn’t make a good impression, dismissing a valued member of staff in these circumstances.’

  ‘Thank you for trying, but I know my future there is precarious. The people of Margate are donating to the house to honour the heroic Doctor Clifton, not to help Ruby’s child.’

  ‘There are some who’ve been touched by your sister’s story …’

  ‘You don’t have to dress it up to make me feel better. They blame her for the situation, for allowing Mr Milani to lead her astray and for selling her child to the Allspices to be paraded as a freak. I am Ruby’s sister. In the eyes of society, I am tarred with the same brush.’ She couldn’t restrain herself any longer. It was all too much. The tears flowed. ‘I don’t know why you continue to risk your reputation by standing by me.’

  ‘You know very well,’ he said gruffly, handing her a handkerchief. ‘You’ve helped me – unknowingly, perhaps – find renewed joy in my work as a physician. You have restored my faith in God, and …’ He fell silent. ‘Before we met, I was dying from grief, but you healed me with your friendship. It’s my turn to make you better, if I can. You deserve to stay on the wards at the house, and I will do my utmost to make sure that happens, and one day, when you are matron, we will look back and say, look what we’ve achieved.’

  It was kind of him to stand up for her, she thought, but with her worries for Mercy’s future, her ambition to become matron didn’t seem quite as important as it had been before.

  In the days that followed, Hannah visited Mercy morning and evening, and assisted both Doctor Clifton and Doctor Hunter at the private clinic. At last the time arrived for the special meeting of the Board, to decide on Hannah’s future at the infirmary. It was convened in private with Mr Phillips, Mr Osbourne-Cole and two other governors, Doctor Clifton, Mr Anthony and Matron in attendance.

  ‘What chance do I have of being allowed to continue at the infirmary when these gentlemen are sitting in judgement?’ Hannah whispered
aside to Mrs Knowles as they were shown to their seats in the boardroom.

  ‘Hush,’ she said. ‘Sit down.’

  Flanked by Mrs Knowles and Doctor Clifton, Hannah sat opposite the Chairman of the Board, who banged his gavel to call for their attention.

  ‘Good day, ladies and gentlemen. We are met here to discuss the possible suspension or dismissal of Sister Bentley. For what crime, may I ask?’ Mr Phillips peered over his half-moon spectacles, his head tremoring before his gaze settled on Mrs Knowles. ‘Matron?’

  ‘Sister Bentley is currently on compassionate leave from this house,’ she said. ‘As far as I’m aware, no crime has been committed.’

  ‘May I speak?’ Doctor Clifton said.

  ‘I should speak first,’ Mr Anthony interrupted. ‘I’m a busy man with patients queued up outside theatre waiting to go under the knife.’

  ‘I appreciate that, but—’

  ‘You have no idea, Mr Phillips,’ Mr Anthony said acidly. ‘I’m up to my elbows in blood and gore every day. Thanks to your cuts, my scalpels are blunt and my forceps are falling apart.’

  ‘This isn’t the time to be talking about finance,’ Mr Phillips said crossly.

  ‘Then I insist on it being noted down for consideration at the next full meeting of the Board.’

  ‘Consider it done. What did you wish to say? Doctor Clifton, I will come to you later.’

  ‘Whatever you decide, our visiting physician should not be allowed to influence proceedings.’ Mr Anthony cast him a glare as he opened his mouth to argue. James sat back. ‘I don’t know the truth of it, and I don’t wish to, but I would suggest that his friendship with Sister Bentley leaves him open to accusations of bias. I’m the one person who can offer a frank and fair judgement on this matter.’

  Hannah’s heart sank, any hope she’d had dismissed in an instant. Mr Anthony didn’t like her. He never had.

  ‘Sister Bentley and I didn’t see eye to eye at first,’ he went on, ‘but I’ve come to appreciate her competence and complete devotion to duty. In a nutshell, why should a valued member of staff be dismissed because of her sister’s sins? Since when has sin been a contagion?’

  ‘This is about the reputation of the infirmary,’ Mr Phillips responded. ‘As in any family, one is forced to make unpleasant decisions on occasion to keep up appearances.’ He paused, and Hannah wondered if he was thinking of his wife.

  ‘As in any family, we should look after our own,’ Mr Anthony insisted. ‘Mrs Knowles, what is your opinion?’

  ‘She should stay on. I’m sure we all have a skeleton or two in our cupboards, so to speak, yet we are all in positions of responsibility and influence.’

  ‘Really, Matron.’ Mr Phillips frowned. ‘What proof do you have of this? How do you back up that accusation?’

  ‘It’s my job to know everything that goes on within this hospital. I see who comes and goes, whose wife attends frequently to consult with a particular doctor, like a bee to a honeypot. I hear the sounds of … intimate connection … going on in theatre late at night.’ Hannah noticed her glance towards Mr Anthony, whose shoulders shrank a little. ‘I believe that we should take the path of forgiveness and charity and let Sister Bentley continue in her place. I feel sure that you agree with me, gentlemen.’

  There were general murmurings of assent before Mr Phillips declared that Hannah could remain as Sister of the Lettsom without a stain on her character.

  ‘Thank you for speaking up for me, Mr Anthony,’ she said, as they left the boardroom and entered the corridor.

  ‘I spoke my mind. Don’t you dare prove me wrong on this or I’ll make sure you never work again.’ A twinkle appeared in his eye. ‘And there’s absolutely no truth in what Matron said.’

  ‘Of course,’ she said, thinking of his wife and the nurse who worked with him in theatre.

  ‘That went better than I expected,’ James said, joining them. ‘It’s a shame in a way – Mrs Bellows will miss your help at the clinic. Perhaps you could drop by later to collect your wages.’

  She nodded – she needed time to think about the implications of being allowed to return to work.

  ‘Welcome back,’ Mrs Knowles said, letting the gentlemen pass. ‘You see how a little knowledge is never a bad thing. When can you start? I realise that you’ll have to make provision for the child, so I’m willing to be flexible.’

  ‘I’m not sure. I haven’t decided what to do.’

  ‘It’s a heavy burden. I have an acquaintance who farms her son out to her family – she hardly sees him, perhaps only once or twice a year. Unfortunately, the boy is a distraction – she’s always worrying about him. It’s probably better all round to put the little one up for adoption. I’ll make some enquiries.’

  ‘Thank you, Matron.’ Hannah bit her lip to suppress a wave of renewed resentment at poor Ruby for putting her into an impossible quandary.

  ‘I’ll assume that you’ll be back within the month. If not, I’ll have to advertise for a replacement. In the meantime, I’m going to transfer Nurse Huckstep to the Lettsom as acting Sister. The infant is much improved, and the doctors have agreed that she doesn’t require intensive nursing any longer.’

  ‘I’m sorry for putting you to all this trouble.’

  ‘Let me know of your intentions as soon as possible,’ Matron said. ‘I don’t want to be forced by urgency to take on a slatternly widow or runaway wife in your stead.’

  ‘I will, I promise.’

  ‘Come with me and we’ll give Nurse Huckstep the news.’

  When they arrived, Hannah could see through to the balcony where the wet nurse was suckling Mercy. She suppressed her desire to rush across to see her niece as Alice came over to greet her and Mrs Knowles.

  ‘Good morning, Matron and Sister Bentley,’ she said.

  ‘Is all well?’ Matron asked.

  ‘Everything’s shipshape and Bristol fashion, thank you.’ Eyebrows raised, Alice glanced from Matron to Hannah and back.

  ‘How is Mercy? What have the doctors said today?’

  ‘That Doctor Clifton’s modifications to the saltwater treatment have given her much benefit during the past week. Her pulse, breathing and temperature are all normal for an infant of her age, and she’s feeding well. However, Doctor Hunter has expressed his continuing reservations about the likely extent of her recovery from the effects of strong spirits on her brain and liver.’

  ‘Then it is a case of “wait and see”,’ Matron said. ‘Nurse Huckstep, Doctor Clifton has said that the child no longer requires individual nursing.’

  ‘That’s right,’ Alice said.

  ‘In that case, I must ask you to hand over her care to Sister Riley. After lunch, you’ll join the staff on the Lettsom, where you are to take over the role of acting Sister until Sister Bentley returns to work.’

  ‘I’m honoured,’ Alice said, touching her throat. She flashed Hannah a smile before she went to speak to Sister Riley, who seemed a little upset to be losing her to one of the boys’ wards.

  ‘You’ve been a boon, and I hope to have you back very soon,’ Hannah heard her say.

  ‘Is there anything I need to finish before I take my break?’ Alice asked.

  ‘You can go now, if you like. It’s almost twelve.’

  ‘Thank you. I’d like one last cuddle with Mercy and I’m sure Hannah – I mean, Sister Bentley – wants to see her too.’

  Alice took the baby from the wet nurse who fastened the buttons on her blouse, pulled her shawl over her shoulders, and hurried off.

  ‘There, there, little one,’ she murmured as Mercy started to sob. ‘Here’s your Auntie Hannah.’

  ‘I find it strange being addressed as such,’ Hannah said, holding Mercy against her shoulder and patting her back. She belched and her sobbing subsided.

  ‘Ah, it was a touch of wind,’ Alice said. ‘She’ll be fine now. She’s had the most terrible gripes.’

  ‘Hello, sweetheart.’ Her heart melting, Hannah held Mercy a few inches from
her face and gazed into her eyes. Mercy stuffed her fist into her mouth and stared back, cross-eyed. ‘She seems all there. What do you think, Alice?’

  ‘She still sleeps a lot, but when she’s awake, she’s as bright as a button. Sometimes, I think the doctors are worrying unnecessarily about her development, but I suppose they’re wary of giving a good prognosis, in case they turn out to be wrong.’ Alice winked. ‘There’s more kudos to be gained that way. I’m so glad you’ve kept your place, but I hope you don’t think I’m treading on your toes, taking over the Lettsom. It’s only temporary.’

  ‘I can’t think of anyone better to do it.’

  ‘What are you going to do about Mercy?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ Hannah held her close, breathing in her scent of milk and soap. The choice was stark. ‘I promised Ruby I’d look after her and I’ll do my best, even if that means putting her up for adoption, or farming her out. I have a cousin on my mother’s side who might be prevailed upon to take her.’

  ‘Can’t you have a girl to look after her while you work a few hours a day for someone like Doctor Clifton?’ Alice suggested.

  ‘I’ve thought of that, but how will I make ends meet? How can I pay for a child’s care out of a nurse’s wage?’

  She was under no illusion that the first option would cause her great pain – like having a surgeon cut out her heart without anaesthetic. The second option was easier to contemplate but would lead to a life of penury and struggle.

  ‘I could help you,’ Alice said. ‘I have a little money put by.’

  ‘I couldn’t possibly,’ Hannah said. ‘You never know when you might need that yourself.’

  ‘I could mind her for you from time to time.’

  ‘I’m very grateful, but you have enough to deal with. Are you sure that you’re recovered enough to manage a ward?’

  ‘I like to work to keep my mind off what might happen to me in the future. I feel better than ever, but I’ll never be able to say that I’m cured, only that my symptoms have abated. There’s no need for you to feel sorry for me. I’ve never been happier.’

  ‘Do you think you’ll ever go back to London?’