Sinful Protector

by Mia Ford

  Something flashes across his expression, too fast to see.

  “Is that all this is?” he asks quietly. “Lust?”

  “Yes,” I say, nodding. This was what I wanted to get onto. “I want your body, you want mine. We can’t build a lasting relationship on that.”

  He looks…oddly hurt. I’m not sure why. Because lust has been the biggest factor of our relationship so far, right? Using that was the safest thing to do, the thing that would hurt the least.

  So why does he look like I’ve said something truly terrible?

  “I see,” he says after a moment. “Our different interests… It was the motorbike, wasn’t it? Is that the biggest difference that you can’t see yourself handling?”

  Say yes, I think. It’s a ready-made excuse. Kyle already knows that I can’t stand the motorbike, that I only got on it for his sake yesterday. I never told him that I didn’t find it that bad.

  Can I bear to say “yes,” though? His motorbike is a memento of his father, his childhood, of the man who turned his life around. I would be denying everything about him if I say “yes” right now.

  But I need to.

  “I’m sorry,” I say to him in answer.

  His jaw tightens.

  “It’s fine,” he says roughly. He drains the last of his coffee. “We both knew this was a possibility. We’ve only been on the one date, after all, and that was to see if we were compatible.” He pauses. “So, last night… Why?”

  I wince. That one’s harder to explain away. Why did I jump him as soon as we walked in the door if I didn’t want a relationship with him?

  Because I do want a relationship with him, it’s just not something we can do right now.

  “I just wanted you,” I say. It’s a weak excuse. “Your body. Your muscles… They’re really amazing, you know.”

  I give him a small smile. He doesn’t return it.

  “So I’ve heard,” he says.

  Is he angry? I don’t know if I would blame him if he is. I’ve given him so many mixed signals this week, telling him I want him, then casting him out, approaching him to ask him for a date, and then telling him I don’t want him after all. I’ve been really cruel to him.

  It’s just until Jesse is gone, I remind myself. Maybe, after, he’ll forgive me.

  “Kyle…” I say, and then hesitate. Why is this so hard? “I’m really sorry.”

  He sighs.

  “Don’t apologize,” he says. “We’re both adults, we both knew what we were doing. It’s fine.”

  “Can we… stay friends?”

  The question slips out without my permission. I don’t want to lose Kyle, I realize. I don’t want him to walk out that door and never return to me.

  I really am selfish.

  He looks surprised by the question. His brow furrows and then his expression clears. He looks at the flowers and sighs, running a rough hand through his hair. In my pocket, the card almost seems to burn.

  “Yeah,” he says finally, and relief blooms in my chest. “Yeah, I’d like that. But…maybe give me a little while?”

  “Of course,” I say hurriedly.

  I’ll give him whatever he wants. The fact that he still wants anything to do with me after all this… It’s amazing. This man… I’m really letting go of something special. If Jacqui ever finds out what I’m doing, she’ll kill me.

  My stomach drops. I can’t tell Jacqui. I can tell her the same story I told Kyle, but that’s it. If I tell her what I’m doing, I know she’ll tell Kyle for my own good.

  No, this is my problem. It will just be me and Jesse this time, and I’ll make sure he stays out of my life before I’m through.

  Somehow,

  “I better go,” Kyle says, clearing his throat. “I’m going to be late to work.”

  “Right, yeah, you better head off,” I say, getting to my feet and arranging my robe so that I don’t accidentally flash him. “Even if it didn’t work out…thank you for yesterday. It was nice to hang out.”

  “Yes,” he says slowly. Then he gives me a small smile and I feel like I’ve won the lottery. “It was. See you later, Allison.”

  I rush to the door to open it for him, not wanting him to notice the broken lock. He doesn’t seem to realize that anything is amiss, and I watch him go, clutching the door. I swing it closed when he’s gone. Several minutes later, I hear his motorbike roar to life, and then he’s gone.

  A single tear slips down my face, and I brush it away impatiently. Now isn’t the time to be upset. I haven’t lost everything, after all.

  And if I want to get it back, then I need to be the one to win this war Jesse has waged against me.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Kyle

  Allison was lying.

  I ride away from her house, and I know this is true.

  I hadn’t noticed at first. Most of my mind had been taken up by confusion. We had had a nice night. We got to know each other. We had gotten along very well, which was almost a surprise considering it’s taken us this long to actually sit and talk. Then she jumped me the moment we walked in the door.

  So, I was understandably confused when Allison suddenly said she didn’t want a relationship with me.

  The problem was, what she said made sense. I had noticed it, too. We didn’t share very many interests. She hates my motorbike. We’re from two very different cultures, and we lead very different lives. My life, growing up, was rough and filled with loss. Hers was quieter, a steady line from school to university. On paper, the two of us didn’t make sense.

  But what did the stats mean? Why should any of that mean we couldn’t be together? I thought Allison agreed with me, right until she blindsided me this morning.

  Then she asked me if we could be friends.

  And I knew she was lying.

  If there’s anything that I’ve figured out about Allison, it’s that she doesn’t hold onto the things that are causing her pain. She admitted that she liked me, and that she lusted after my body, so the best thing for her do was to just get rid of me entirely, kick me out of her life so that I’m not a temptation any more, a temptation that we’ve both found impossible to ignore.

  So why keep me around?

  Something is definitely up.

  While I was puzzling over this in her apartment, I noticed the flowers on the table. They were pretty with bright colors, in a wrapped box. They made the kitchen look a little brighter. I had noticed them when I walked into the kitchen, but I hadn’t paid them much mind.

  But now, as I think about it, I start to notice the oddities.

  I pride myself on observation. Those flowers hadn’t been there last night, when we arrived back at her apartment.

  Not only that, but there was the weird way Allison rushed for the door to let me out. If I asked her about it, she probably would have said that she wanted to see me off. But I noticed the break in the frame, and the way the lock looked oddly loose.

  It all added up to one thing. Someone had been in Allison’s apartment last night and, for some reason, she didn’t tell me. No, I knew what reason she would have.

  I gripped the handles so tightly that my knuckles turned white.

  Jesse.

  Jesse was the one in the apartment last night.

  Why would Allison keep this from me? Because she’s stubborn. She doesn’t want me involved. Maybe even part of her doesn’t trust me to involved after the mix-up on Tuesday.

  So, what am I going to do about this?

  I drive into Brooks’ driveway and park my bike, pulling my helmet off. The old man is there, working on a blue car, and he frowns at me as he looks up.

  “You’re late,” he says severely.

  “Sorry, old man, something came up,” I say.

  Brooks’ brow creases, and his eyes search mine. I look back evenly. I adore the old man, because he gave me my life back, but I’m not going to apologize for this, not when I know something is going on with Allison.

  “Is everything alright?”
Brooks asks after a moment.

  I smile slightly. He can always read me like a book.

  “Allison broke up with me this morning,” I tell him.

  Brooks blinks. “You don’t look upset by it.”

  “That’s because she’s lying,” I say, taking my jacket off and laying it over the seat of my bike. “She’s doing this for my sake, somehow, but I can’t figure out why.”

  “Huh,” Brooks says, handing me a can. “Check the oil, boy. Why do you think she lied to you?”

  “It’s her ex, Jesse,” I explain, twisting the cap on the oil line and wiping the dipstick on a rag I found on the table behind me. I stick it back in. “He broke into her apartment last night, and she’s refusing to tell me about it. I think she wants to handle it on her own.”

  “How do you know he broke in?” Brooks asks.

  I remove the dipstick and look at it. The oil is low, so I open the can Brooks gave me.

  “I saw the signs,” I say. “The frame was broken. So was the lock. I don’t even know if she can close the door properly. And she knew about it, because she rushed to the door to try and stop me from noticing.” I scowl. “What I don’t know is how he got in there without either of us noticing.”

  “You were there last night?” Brooks asks with the hint of a smile.

  “We went on a date last night,” I say seriously. “An actual one, and we asked each other questions and got to know each other. Allison even let me take her for a ride on my motorbike, and I booked an Italian restaurant for us. Then I stayed the night.” I find a funnel and brandish it at Brooks. “It was a great night. Which is why it was really fucking confusing when she broke up with me.”

  “I bet,” Brooks agrees, bemused. “But have you considered the possibility that she just wanted to break up with you?”

  I went quiet. Yes, I have considered that. Of course I have. Even if I know Jesse broke in last night, there’s still a chance that Allison already wanted to break up with me, and she was just hiding the signs so that I didn’t feel like I had to be involved with her any more.

  “Yeah,” I say roughly. “And if that’s the case, then that’s alright, too.”

  Brooks is silent for a long moment. Without him asking, I check the fluid, finding that that’s low as well.

  “You’ve really grown up, boy,” Brooks says finally, his voice quiet.

  I almost drop the bottle of coolant, I’m so startled by his words.

  “What?” I say.

  Brooks smiles at me. “You’ve come a long way from that idiot nineteen-year-old that wanted to take on the world for taking your father from you. I’m glad I decided to train you.”

  I look away, suddenly feeling awkward. I’m not sure what inspired him to say those words, but I can’t deny the warmth that rushes through me.

  “It was all thanks to you, old man,” I say gruffly.

  “Which is why I have this to say to you,” Brooks says seriously, and I look up. “I don’t know whether that girl wants you or not. But, if you suspect that she’s lying to you, don’t sneak around on her to figure it out. Straight up ask her.”

  “I don’t think she wants me to,” I admit.

  “Then wait until she does want to answer,” Brooks says, waving a spanner at me. “In the meantime, I know you. You haven’t given up on taking down her ex, have you?”

  I cringe. “Allison…overheard me talking to Grant about it. She wasn’t very happy when I said something stupid.”

  Brooks snorts. “I know exactly what you would have said, boy, and I can’t say I blame you, based on what you’ve told me.”

  “The guys are keeping a lookout,” I say. “They’ll let me know if they find him.”

  “Then what?” Brooks challenges.

  I shrug. Honestly, I haven’t thought that far ahead yet. All I know is that I want to keep Allison safe.

  “I don’t know,” I admit.

  Brooks rolls his eyes and whacks me over the head with a rolled up newspaper.

  “Ow!” I yelp, glaring at him. “What was that for? I didn’t do anything wrong that time!”

  “You were being a fucking fool,” Brooks says, glaring back. “Use that head of yours, boy! You aren’t an idiot. You know about Jesse. You know he’s dangerous. You know he’s a danger to the woman you love. So, what are you going to do about it?”

  I stare at him.

  The light clicks on.

  Brooks sits back, satisfied.

  “There we go,” he says. “I knew you could think when you want to.”

  “Brooks,” I say, breathless. “Can I…?”

  “Take a break,” Brooks says with a dismissive wave, rolling his eyes. “I know I’ll get no work out of you until you make your call.”

  “Thank you!”

  I grab my jacket and race out of the garage. There are a few people milling about but they scatter out of my way before I can duck around them. There’s an alley a few blocks away and I swerve into it. It’s empty. Good.

  I pull my phone out of my pocket and scroll through my contacts, looking for the number I want. It rings three times and I tap my foot impatiently.

  “Howard Detective Agency, how may I help you?”

  I grin wildly.

  “Alex,” I say. “It’s Kyle Jacobs. Do you have a moment?”

  “Kyle?” Alex Howard asks, understandably confused. “If this is about town hall, I’m still…”

  “No, no!” I say hurriedly. “I mean, yeah, I want to know how that’s going, but I have something else that I need your help with. Do you think you’ll have time to look into it for me?”

  “I’m pretty busy,” Alex admits, sighing. “What do you need? I’ll tell you if I can do it.”

  I cross my fingers.

  “I need you to look into a man named Jesse Willis,” I say.

  I remember seeing Jesse’s last name on a letter in the kitchen while I was making popcorn on Saturday. I had stored it away in my mind, in case I needed it, and I’m glad I did.

  “Jesse Willis?” Alex repeats. “What type of man is he?”

  I give him a short laugh. “He’s a deadbeat alcoholic who is currently stalking his ex.”

  “Ah,” Alex says in sudden comprehension. “This is the man you asked everyone to keep an eye on? And I presume his ex is the woman you’ve been seeing?”

  News gets around fast. I haven’t even seen Alex since last Wednesday, which was before I met Allison.

  “Yeah,” I admit. “Can you help me?”

  Alex lets out a long-suffering sigh. I grin. Despite his attempts to prove the contrary, Alex is a good guy. All the effort he went through to save George’s house tells me that; not to mention everything else he has done for the club over the years.

  So even though he’ll put on a show of pretending it’s too much, I know he’ll do everything in his power to help me, and he won’t even ask for repayment.

  But that’s okay. If he can do this for me, I fully intend on giving him his fee.

  “…I suppose,” he says, and I can almost hear him rolling his eyes. Sometimes I wonder how a guy like him, who is normally so straightlaced, got involved with a club like ours. But he was with the club before I was, so I never got around to asking. “When do you need the information by?”

  “As soon as possible?” I try.

  “Ugh, you just make it harder,” Alex groans. “Fine, leave it with me, I’ll see what I can dig up. Don’t expect miracles, though. Chances are that this guy is just a loser that will hang around like a bad smell, even if he’s scared off.”

  “Yeah,” I say with a nod. “But that’s why I want to try this first. I don’t know if you’ll find anything, but maybe there’ll be something that I can use against him to make him stay away.”

  “Maybe,” Alex says doubtfully.

  “And if you find anything, let me know what it’ll cost me,” I add.

  “Kyle…”

  “I’m not asking you do this for free, Alex,” I interrupt. “You
’re doing me a huge favor when you could be taking on other jobs. The least I can do is pay you for it.”

  Alex paused and then sighs gustily.

  “We can discuss it if I find anything,” he says.

  Then he hangs up, the dial tone ringing in my ears. I grin, not put off at all as I lower the phone. Maybe Alex is right, and we won’t find anything.

  But I at least want to try it this way first. I think Allison will appreciate that, even if we just stay friends afterward. A guy like that… Surely he has a record somewhere, especially of violence. Allison told me he used to beat people up a lot. Maybe if the police knew more about it, they’d take Allison’s concerns more seriously, but I don’t want to get involved with them until I have something more concrete. If it gets bad enough, I might even be able to land him in jail for a few nights, which would hopefully teach him a lesson.

  It feels strange to do it like this. Normally I face my problems head-on and force it to go away. I wish I could do that with Jesse, but I’ve already hit him once. If I hit him again, I’ll be lucky if he doesn’t make a complaint against me. And my record isn’t something that I want the police to be bringing up, either.

  All of this would be a lot easier if the police would just do their jobs right. Would Allison tell them about the break-in? I hope she does. Or maybe she won’t because she’ll think they won’t believe her. She won’t think that she needs any help, so she’ll charge in without any weapons, hoping to stop Jesse.

  And, like lightning, it hits me. Why Allison broke up with me. Why she hid the break-in and the broken door from me. I had already considered it, but the reason suddenly becomes a little more real.

  She wants to do this herself.

  “You idiot,” I say aloud, almost as though my words could reach Allison, who is no doubt in class by now.

  I’m right here. I told her I would be there for her, that I would help her if she needed it. Yet, like a fool, she’s trying to do this all herself because she considers it to be her problem, and hers alone.