Ghosted: A Paranormal Romantic Comedy

by Kat Addams

  He moved his hips until the tip of his cock slid straight inside of me. I quivered and let out a long moan. I hadn’t realized just how much I needed him inside me until now. He pushed deep, sending us flying back against the headboard. His hand reached out, against the wall, while his other held me in a cradle, still hovering us a few feet off the bed.

  I felt weightless, ethereal, excited, and needy. I wanted this man-genie. I needed this man-genie. I was going to make this man-genie mine.

  I clutched his back and arched my body up while rolling him over and climbing on top. He held us suspended in the air while I slid my hips back and forth across his lap. He gripped my ass, slamming me into him faster. I squeezed my thighs, leaning forward and placing my palms on his chest. His pec muscles flexed beneath my fingertips each time I bounced.

  “Hang on tight,” he grunted, lifting us toward the ceiling.

  The air hummed and crackled, and a flash of fire escaped from his eyes like a solar flare. He cried out, holding my hips against him while the room began to spin. I leaned down, circling my arms around his back and hanging on for dear life while his cock throbbed inside of me, filling me with a satisfying heat.

  The spinning stopped, but I didn’t let go. We floated back down to the bed like a feather.

  “Does that make your time in the magical world a little better?” he asked, panting.

  “I’d say that makes it a little more manageable. You make it more manageable.” I laughed, leaning down and putting my head against his chest while his cock still stirred inside me. I expected to hear the racing post-orgasm thump, thump, thump of his pulse, but instead, I heard nothing except his heavy breaths.

  “I can’t hear your heart. Did I ride you so hard that it stopped? You okay?” I adjusted my head, listening to the other side of his chest.

  “I don’t have one,” he said, gently lifting me off of him.

  “What?” I sat up, covering my mouth with my hand.

  “Nope. No heart.”

  I slumped my shoulders and turned my face from him, staring out the window. We had warmed the room so much that the glass had fogged. A low rumble of thunder rolled, drowning out the stifling silence.

  “I’m feeling you again. What’s wrong?” He reached for my shoulder, pulling me back into him.

  “Nothing. I’m just wondering how we’re going to get your spell broken without that butt plug, is all.”

  I pulled the blanket back over me, snuggling in next to his body, or shadow, or figure, or whatever the hell he was. He wasn’t alive. No one lived without a heart. Somehow, he felt less real to me now than he had when he popped out of a dildo.

  “We’ll go back to Big Glug-Glug today. See what else we can find out. No worries. I’ll get you your wishes, and you’ll be on your way out of Morningwood soon. I promise to get you out of here. A genie’s promise is binding, remember?” He stroked my hair from my face, tucking it behind my ear.

  “What did you say would happen again after you grant my last wish?” I asked, laying my hand on his empty chest.

  Rain pelted against the window.

  “Oh. You’ll just not have access to the Morningwood realm. Or any magical realms. As a human, you get one chance, and it’s over. You’ll be safely back into your human world and no drama from trolls, wolves, witches, me.”

  “No. I meant, what happens to you. Where do you go? What do you do?” I traced my fingertips across his chest and wondered if he was entirely empty inside.

  “I go back into hiding … in my dildo.” He cleared his throat. “Until someone else rubs me out. Then, rinse and repeat over and over again.”

  “Until your flames burn out. You told me that once, but you never explained it.”

  He sighed, rolling over and swinging his legs off of the bed. “That’s different. That’s death for me. A few things can do that. My summoner can wish it. Although I’ve never had one who wanted to wish me dead. They’re selfish enough not to use one of their wishes on me, thankfully. I’ve also never pissed anyone off enough, except for Karen. Course, she knew what she was doing with her curse. It’s much worse than death for me. I can’t fulfill my duties. My geniehood is gone.”

  “Jeez. I’d not wish death on anyone. Not even those wolves from last night.” I shivered. “How else can your flames burn out? Asking for a friend.”

  “Trying to snuff me out already?” He grinned.

  “Not yet.” I grinned back.

  “I burn out when I reincarnate into something else, like a human. Or someone plucks my eyes out and douses them in a bucket of water.” He shrugged.

  “Fuck. That’s terrible—the last part. The human part isn’t so much. How does that even happen?”

  “No idea. It’s not part of the genie network. No genie that has turned into a human can connect back with us and let us know. I think there’s maybe a magic sword or butt plug that kills us. I hope I never find out. Either way sounds like a hell of a way to go.”

  My shoulders tensed. “You don’t think that butt plug will kill you instead of lift the curse, right?”

  “Your aunt was wicked. But she wasn’t smart.” He twirled into a pair of jeans and a tight-fitted tee.

  “When we find this butt plug, don’t touch it. I’ll, um … what do I need to do with it?” I cringed, clenching my butt.

  “No clue. But you’re the one who said don’t touch it. I’ll let you figure that out.” He raised his brows.

  I shook my head and hopped out of bed, deciding to slide into a pair of jeans myself instead of having Dylan magic me up more demon lingerie. Although the sex we could have had with my wings and his tricks might have been worth it.

  We dressed and readied ourselves before walking out of the hotel room together. I no longer cared about what the townspeople thought about me and my personal life. I didn’t have a choice anymore. Dylan had brought me inside, wrapped in a blanket, last night. I was sure, by now, that everyone knew I hadn’t spent the night alone. And hot, floaty genie sex was worth the gossip.

  “Look who’s growing up and not giving any fucks.” He smirked, giving a halfhearted wave to the front-desk attendant.

  “I’ll be out of here soon enough. I’m out of fucks. Or, as we like to say where I’m from, Outer Forks!”

  He reached out, pushing the lobby door open and letting me slide past him. Rain pelted down on us as we ran toward my car, quickly hopping inside.

  “Outer Forks,” he repeated as soon as we settled into our seats. “Tell me about it. It sounds like it must be a nice place if you’re in a hurry to get back.” He wiped raindrops off of his cheeks with the back of his palm.

  “It’s not Morningwood. That’s for sure. I live in Outer Forks, but I work in Forks. The cities have different vibes. Of course, Outer Forks is much smaller. It’s more hipster. Craft beer, music fests, arts festivals, and all.”

  I laughed, watching his brows crinkle. I had to keep reminding myself that he wasn’t from my era.

  “Hipster?” he asked.

  “Sorry. None of this makes sense to you. You’d have to see it for yourself. You’ve been locked up since the ’80s. I’ll show you sometime.” My voice caught in my throat as I realized he couldn’t come with me. He’d said so himself. After my final wish, he would disappear, and I was supposed to put his dildo on a jet to France.

  He turned his face away from me and stared out the window.

  I slumped forward in my seat, letting the air hit the back of my damp shirt. The thick drizzle pelted down on my car, skewing everything in front of me into a white blur. I clutched the steering wheel and craned my neck forward, struggling to see the road ahead.

  “Weren’t you supposed to call your mom and let her know we’re coming?” he asked, breaking the silence.

  “It’s a weekday. She’s working. Besides, we’re only trying to pry more information out of Big Glug-Glug. We won’t be there long at all.” I slammed on my brakes, nearly missing our turn.

  “This time, you hold on
tight.” I nudged him with my elbow, trying to lighten the heavy tension in the air.

  He blew out a breath through his nose but said nothing. I couldn’t get a laugh or a smile.

  “I think I’m vibing off you now. What’s up?” The familiar crunching of the gravel road as we drove toward my mom’s place sent a shiver up my spine.

  “Ah, nothing. I’m just thinking about the butt plug. Heh.”

  “Look, I’ve lived through a very depressing childhood. My mom was an alcoholic, and my aunt abused me. I had zero friends in this hellhole of a town. I lived for years, escaping with my nose between the pages of fairy tales, only to wake up and find out my life was a nightmare. So, I know sadness when I see it. And I definitely know it when I feel it. Tell me what’s got you down.” I pulled up to the front of the old house right as a bolt of lightning crashed overhead.

  “Ominous. Cliché,” I muttered.

  “Is this sadness? I’ve been lonely before but not sad. Not like this anyway. It feels … my chest feels empty, which is weird because it is empty. I feel like there’s a gaping hole in it. I’m not sure why.” He put his hand between his pecs, right where his heart should be.

  “You’re heartbroken. You’re picking it up from me. I’m sorry. It’s because I thought about not being able to show you my place. I mean, I can. Maybe you can just grant me the wishes afterward? Or—”

  He cleared his throat. “I’m not heartbroken. That’s impossible. I’m a genie, and I have a job to do. You’re getting your wishes. Hopefully today.” He opened the car door and stepped into a low-lying fog.

  “What’s this? I’ve never seen anything like it.” I pushed myself up and out of the car, motioning toward the thick vapors rolling out of the surrounding woods. “Is something else here besides Big Glug-Glug? Did those wolves find out where we are? I swear, if small-town gossip gets me killed, I’ll—” I started.

  Dylan appeared by my side in a flash. He swung his arms around my waist, holding me tight against him.

  The rain drizzled into a fine mist.

  “Shh. Whatever it is, it isn’t good. It’s not the wolves though. They can’t do this. They’d only rip us apart like a chew toy. This is something different. Like someone’s playing a trick.” He gestured at the curls of vapor climbing up our legs.

  I shivered against his chest, wishing I could hear the comforting thump, thump, thump of a heart he didn’t have.

  Another bolt of lightning snapped through the air, crackling overhead.

  “Let’s get inside and get this over with.” I tried to make my way toward the front door, but my feet wouldn’t budge. They felt like cement boots under the fog. I grunted, pulling my shoe out of the dense vapors and freeing my foot. “I think we’re in a trap,” I said, freeing my other foot.

  A glowing emerald light fluttered above, hissing in Dylan’s face.

  Dylan’s eyes flashed as he turned his head toward the sky and roared. The hairs on the back of my neck prickled. I took a step back, lost my footing, and fell to the ground. The fog quickly circled me, curling its sticky tendrils around my throat. I tried to scream, but it choked me into silence.

  EIGHT

  Dylan

  The moment I saw Emry fluttering about, I knew things were about to get crazy. Green faeries were only around when trouble was around, and this green faerie in particular had caused enough pain for me.

  “Time to go!” I picked Claire up, threw her over my shoulder, and ran to the porch.

  The tendrils of fog grabbed at my ankles in a slimy, wet death trap, tripping me twice before I made it to the front door. I didn’t have time to waste, looking for a key. I kicked in the door and slammed it shut behind me, barring it with a couch, three chairs, and a TV.

  “What just happened?” Claire’s voice quivered. Her hand rubbed the scorched marks on her throat. “Was that green light a faerie? Was that Emry?”

  I sat on the couch and exhaled. “Yep. I have no idea where she came from, but since she’s here, that means trouble. I guess this house must have a spell on it. I wonder why it’s going off now. We must be close to solving this butt-plug quest.” I held out my hands for her to join me on the couch. “Come here. Let me see that. Are you okay?”

  She sat down next to me, still profusely rubbing at her throat. I brushed her hair behind her shoulders and inspected the red welts roping around her neck.

  “It burns. But not like a regular burn. It’s cold. Like eating too much mint.” She pressed her fingertips on a dark purple spot at the nape of her neck and flinched.

  “Try not to touch it. We’ll have to deal with it back at the hotel. We can’t stay here. Let’s figure out how to get back to the car. I can probably distract that fog, and you can run.”

  She squinted her eyes, wincing. I felt her pain. It whipped through me, burning me up from the inside out. I curled my fists, letting out a staggered breath.

  “Let’s just get what we came here for and be done with it. You lost your geniehood to that bitch Karen! I’m not going to sit back and let her keep pushing you, me, or anyone else around. Even in her death, she’s hurting us. This has to stop. And it starts with that damn butt plug! My first wish is to fix all the wrongs she’s done to everyone, starting with you. Now, let’s go to Big Glug-Glug and fix this shit. It’ll all be over soon.” She stood up, shivering and tugging at my arm.

  “Now, who’s saving who?” I smiled, pulling her down to my lap. “You know no one’s ever been concerned with my geniehood or my life. Or lack thereof. I’ve sat in that lonely dildo for ages. Before you came along, things were beginning to get to me. I’d have even taken a ride in an ogre’s butt, just to come out into the world again. But you … you’re so much better than an ogre’s asshole. I know I don’t have a heart, so maybe I’m playing off your emotions, but the way you make me feel is so human. And I like it. And you. I like you. I know we’re on different realms and that this couldn’t—”

  Crash. Bang. Pop.

  A commotion came from the attic, jolting us both upright.

  I put my finger to my lips, shushing Claire while I listened. The house was silent.

  She put her nose in the air and sniffed, recoiling. I, too, noticed a familiar scent.

  “You said I’m safe with you. I still am, right? I saw you set that whole swamp up in burning blue flames. You can get us out of here. I know you can. But … I’m running down to the basement. Cliché, I know. Dumb lady runs straight into trouble.” She put her hands up in protest as I tried to stop her from running off. “You can come with me down there, or you can stay up here. But I’m ending this right here and right now. Just have my back. Use your fiery mumbo jumbo.”

  She ran off in the direction of the basement. I followed on her heels, stepping over piles of trash, blankets, and pillows. Her mom had left this place worse than the last time we’d been here. Boxes of rat poison lay strewn about amid the empty beer cans.

  We entered the kitchen as soon as the lights began to flicker. The storm outside surged, whipping tree branches across the windows like fingernails on a chalkboard.

  Again, the familiar scent filled the air. I reached out, clasping her sweaty palm.

  “What is it?”

  “I’m sorry, Claire. It’s not safe. I’m getting you out of here. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to give you those wishes. We need to get out now! She’s here. I can handle many things, but she has me by the balls—er, butt plug. I’d not forgive myself if anything happened to you. Your life is more important than my geniehood.”

  I grabbed her, sweeping her off her feet. She squirmed in my arms.

  “Put me down! I can do this! I’ve read fairy tales! The good guys win! Just let me try. I need those wishes!” She bucked against me, growling.

  I’d felt this vibe countless times—greed. No matter how many wishes I granted, my summoners always wanted more. It was a good thing I disappeared after their last wish. Otherwise, they might extinguish my fire out of frustration.

 
“You’re not thinking clearly. No wish is so important that it endangers your life.” I held her tight against me and ran for the front door.

  A cackle rang out, filling the room with a burst of evil laughter that cut through me like a knife. Claire’s face dropped as she quit struggling in my arms.

  “Is she a ghost? Great Aunt Karen is dead. She can’t be here.” Her voice shook as I opened up the door. It slammed itself shut, the bolts automatically locking.

  “Fuck!” I set Claire down.

  I turned in circles, searching for an escape, but each doorway shimmered in a black veil I was familiar with. Only death awaited on the other side of those things. I’d seen it once before long ago, during my second summons. I’d worked for a vampire then, who had fallen in love with a witch. They’d both crossed the black veil together as their last wish. I never mentioned it to Claire or anyone. Their death would weigh on my conscience for eternity. But I couldn’t have stopped them.

  Cackle, cackle, cackle.

  Pop. Flash. Bang.

  Karen appeared in a cloud of smoke, wearing a typical black witch’s robe.

  Cliché, as Claire would say.

  Karen’s skin hung off of her in wrinkled gray flaps. Her lips were nothing but a pencil-thin line, as if someone had drawn a snarl across her face. I’d never seen anything so old in my life.

  “No, I’m not a ghost! Do you think I’d be caught dead as a ghost? Get it? Dead as a ghost?” Karen cackled. “Especially after all that ghosting this son of a bitch did to me, I don’t like ghosts much. But I don’t like genies more. Or you, dear. You always thought you were so smart with your little books and journals. Putting your nose in the air anytime you came around.”

  I shoved Claire behind me, holding out my arms to cover her. I felt her fear through her rapid pulse pressed against my back.

  “Oh. Well, look at that. So, you two are a thing.” Karen’s decrepit face sagged so low that I thought her chin would fall off.

  “You’re such a bitch! Do you know that? You aren’t a witch. You’re a smelly, rotten, old, ugly hag of a bitch. I am so sick of your shit. You were the worst when I was growing up, and you’re still the worst now. Going around, treating others like shit to make yourself feel better. Karen!” Claire shoved my arm aside, stepping in front of me.