Worst Date Ever

by J. S. Cooper

  “Yep. We meet again.” I nodded, wondering where he was going with this.

  “And you still look nothing like Pamela Anderson.” The smile on his face gave me butterflies.

  “Ha-ha very funny.”

  “What?”

  “You keep looking at me like I’m the one that’s in the wrong here.”

  “You’re the one that sent the message and said to me that people sometimes mistake you for Pamela Anderson.”

  “What?” And then I sighed. “Oh my gosh. So, I need to explain something.”

  “Okay. And that is?”

  “You weren’t chatting with me in the app.”

  His face darkened. “You mentioned that. Who was I chatting with?”

  “You were chatting with my best friend, Abby. She had this idea that we should all create profiles and chat with different guys to find the right guy for each other. She’s the one who created my profile, and she chatted with you to get me the date.”

  “So, everything that she said was not true.”

  “I don’t know if everything she said was not true because I don’t know what she said. We had a deal where we wouldn’t look and see what the other person had written.”

  “Well, that sounds really stupid.” He rolled his eyes and then he started laughing. “But it makes a lot of sense now.”

  “Oh, why?”

  “She also wrote that if she was lucky enough to come back to my place, she’d make me dessert after dinner.”

  I groaned. “So that’s why you told me to go to the kitchen.”

  “Yeah. I thought you were being coy or nervous to go to my kitchen because you were so impressed by my house, but that’s the reason I didn’t get dessert at the restaurant. And that’s the reason I told you to go and make me something because you—or rather, your friend Abby—had told me that was going to be happening when we got back to my place.” He shook his head. “She also told me that you liked a little bit of kink.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “She told me …” he started laughing. “She told me you were into spanking. And …” He started laughing even harder.

  “What?”

  “She told me that if things worked out, we could both get our nipples pierced.”

  “What? No, she didn’t!”

  “Yeah, she did. I was having a problem seeing how her conversation and how the way you were acting at the restaurant went together, but I just figured a lot of people are a lot braver when they’re chatting online.” He sighed. “But I guess now I know that you weren’t being brave. You weren’t having the conversation with me at all.”

  “Oh. So, are you disappointed then?”

  “Disappointed? Hmm. I don’t know how to answer that.”

  “Well, it’s either yes or no. Right?”

  “Well, yeah, but it’s more complicated than that. I saw the photo, which was you, of course. And I was attracted to that photo. If I’m honest …”

  “Yeah?”

  “If I’m honest, I liked your picture more than I liked your conversation.” He shrugged. “So, I guess, no, I wasn’t disappointed.”

  “If you didn’t really like my conversation, why did you meet me?”

  “Because I thought you were hot, and it turns out it wasn’t your conversation I didn’t like. It was your friend’s.”

  “But—”

  “But nothing. Now we know why we had such a bad first date. Or rather, now we know why we had such a bad first and second and last date.” He rolled his eyes “Because we were not on the same page at all. “

  “Yeah. But—” I stopped.

  “What?”

  “That didn’t mean you had to treat me the way you did after we slept together.”

  “I think you read something into what I said or did. I don’t really know. You women are so complicated.”

  “What do you mean, ‘you women are so complicated?”

  “I just mean that …” he paused for a second and brushed something off my cheek. “Sorry, you had a bit of dirt or dust or something.”

  “It’s okay. Thanks.”

  Even the brief flick of his finger against my skin took me right back to that night where he’d been touching me all over. I could tell he knew what I was thinking about.

  There was a wicked glint in his eyes as he leaned forward and whispered in my ear. “You want me again, don’t you?”

  I stepped back, shaking my head vehemently. “Of course not. Why would I want you?”

  “Because I’m probably the sexiest man you’ve ever been with.”

  I snorted. “I wouldn’t say the sexiest. Maybe the most cocky and arrogant and—”

  “Shh …” He pressed his finger against my lips. “I’m about to start thinking that you just like to hear yourself talk, Isabella.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means that you’re always talking, but you’re not doing much of anything else.”

  “Much of anything else? Like what?”

  “I don’t know, like kissing me or touching me …” And then he pressed his lips against mine and I swooned. I fell into his arms and his hands wrapped around my waist to keep me steady. “Well, I didn’t expect that reaction,” he said as he pulled away from me slightly, there was a chuckle in his voice. “You have quite the reaction to me, don’t you, Isabella?”

  “No, not really. You just took me by surprise and …”

  “And what? You didn’t like it?”

  “I didn’t say that I didn’t like it, but I also didn’t say that I did like it.”

  “So contrary.” He shook his head. “So …”

  “So what?”

  “You’re going to have to keep your eyes and your hands off of me when we get back to the house, you know. My grandparents are going to get suspicious if you keep looking at me like you want to fuck me.”

  “I do not keep staring at you like I want to fuck you. What are you talking about?”

  “Okay. Well, maybe it’s me.” He laughed. “Maybe it’s me staring at you like I want to fuck you, even though I’ve already fucked you.”

  “Wow. So classy.”

  “Hey, what can I say?” He shrugged, “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to fuck you again.”

  “Stop it. That’s absolutely—”

  “I know it’s crude. Isn’t it? I’m not generally a crude man. I don’t know something must have just come over me. But, anyway, we need to stop acting like we want to be with each other.”

  “I’ve never acted like I want to be with you. I—”

  “Uh-huh, you can say whatever you want, but Edith and Edward cannot find out, because if they realize that we’re together, then they’re going to figure out Lucas’s secret. And I don’t want that for him. At least not like this.”

  “You really care about him, don’t you?”

  “Of course I care about him. He’s my younger cousin. I love him. Yeah, he’s an idiot half the time, and yeah, he’s a spendthrift, but that doesn’t mean I don’t admire him and I don’t understand where he’s coming from. I want the best for him. I don’t want anyone taking advantage of him.”

  “I’m not going to take advantage of Lucas. I’ve never even thought about it. I didn’t even know he was rich up until a couple of hours ago.”

  “Really?” He raised an eyebrow, “And now that you know that he’s rich?”

  “Now that I know he’s rich, nothing. It doesn’t mean anything. And anyway, he’s not really rich, his family is rich, and you control all the money. So …” I just shrugged. “What does it matter?”

  “Wish you could still try and be with me again, huh?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Now that you know that I’m an ex-NFL player, CEO of a multi-billion-dollar company, chairperson of a multi-billion-dollar trust fund. Yeah, multi-billions. I don’t let Lucas know the exact amount because I don’t want him getting greedy.” He laughed. “Though he probably already is,
but I like the fact that he wants to start a business. I like the fact that he’s thinking about the future and not just planning on depending on the family money. It gives me faith in him.”

  “So, you really are going to fund it?” I said, hoping that he was being truthful. It would mean so much to Lucas to have this support.

  “Of course I am. I told him I would, but I’m going to need to know more, including your part in all of this.”

  “What do you mean, my part in all of this?”

  “Like, was it your idea for him to open this coffee shop so that you could have somewhere to showcase your art? Which I haven’t even seen yet?”

  “What you think I’m lying about being an artist?”

  “I don’t think you’re lying about being an artist, but really what is an artist? Anyone can draw and paint. Are you good? I don’t know. I haven’t seen your work.”

  “Oh. So, until you see my work, you won’t believe that I might be a good artist.”

  “I didn’t say that,” he shrugged, “but you got to understand something. Isabella.”

  “What’s that?”

  “My family is the most important thing to me and I will not let anyone take advantage of them for any reason, you hear?”

  “Well, that’s good. I wouldn’t want anyone to take advantage of my family either.”

  “Because I know nothing about your family. I know nothing about what you actually do for a living. I already know that you’re a little bit of a liar.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I mean, you went on a date with me and you pretended we’d been chatting when we hadn’t been. It was your friend.”

  “I explained why.”

  “The why’s don’t matter. Once someone proves themselves to be untrustworthy, it’s very, very hard for me to actually trust that they can be a good person.”

  “Okay.” I rolled my eyes. “So, what does that mean?”

  “Just let it be known that you’re on notice.”

  “Okay. I’m on notice. Well, let it be known to you, as well, Mr. Jim Morrison— oops, I meant Jack Morrison.”

  He laughed. “See, you can’t even remember my name.”

  “Of course, I remember your name, I just got caught up. I just …” I was flustered now, “But whatever. I don’t care what you think about me. Lucas is one of my best friends, and I have his best interest at heart as well. And if you’re not going to give him the money for the coffee shop, because I’m a part of it, then I’ll step back. I don’t need to be a part of it. I want this for him.”

  “Okay.” He gave me a look of grudging admiration, “Well, try to keep your hands off of me this weekend, then we might have a deal.”

  “Whatever, Jack.” I grabbed my ice cream and headed outside. “You don’t have to worry about anything. I don’t want anything to do with you. That should have been made clear when I left your apartment in the middle of the night after mediocre sex.”

  “Mediocre, my foot,” he chuckled as he followed me through the door.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “So, Isabella, we’re in agreement, right?”

  “Yes,” I replied to Lucas. “Edith and Edward are not to know that Jack and I had a fling, even though it wasn’t really a fling, it was just a one-night stand, but details don’t matter.”

  “If my grandparents know that you were with my cousin a day ago, it’s all over.”

  “But Jack said he’s going to give you the money anyway.”

  “Well, it doesn’t matter in terms of money, but now my grandparents think that you’re my girlfriend, and they’re really happy that I’m in a relationship and almost married, and—”

  “But you’re not in a relationship, and you’re not almost married, and what does this mean for our future? How many times am I going to have to pretend that we’re together?”

  “Don’t worry, we’ll figure something out. I mean, loads of people break up in relationships. I’ll say you dumped me or I dumped you or something, but just not this weekend, not with all my cousins and everything. We don’t want to make this about me.”

  “Uh-huh, whatever.” We walked into the house and I suddenly realized that Jack was no longer walking behind us. “Where did Jack go?”

  “Who knows?” Lucas shook his head. “He’s probably walking around the estate to see what needs to be done.” He rolled his eyes. “He takes this situation so seriously. Like, okay, you’re running the family business. But that doesn’t mean you’re the boss of everyone, dude.” He sighed. “But whatever. Who am I to say anything? I’m just Lucas, the funny one.”

  “Oh, Lucas. I’m sure your family respects what you have to say as well. If you’re interested in seeing what’s going on around the estate, why don’t you check it out too?”

  “I’m not interested.” He waved me off. “You know I just like to moan and complain.”

  “That I do.” We walked down the hallway.

  “Is that you, Lucas?” Edith’s voice came from one of the rooms.

  “Yes, Nana.”

  “Is that beautiful Isabella with you?”

  “Yes, Nana.”

  “I’m in the study, dear. Come join me.”

  “Okay! Here we go,” he whispered at me before pulling me into the study. “Hi, Nana.” He hurried over to her and gave her a kiss on both cheeks. “Good to see you. Ice cream was delicious. You enjoyed it, didn’t you Isabella?”

  “Oh, yes, it was absolutely great. Thank you.”

  “I suppose you’re used to gelato.”

  “Oh no, this was amazing, and actually, I’ve never had real gelato from Italy or anything.” I shook my head. “You’d think I would, but,” I shrugged, “I guess I haven’t really gotten around out and about that much.”

  “Oh, that’s okay, one day you’ll go to Italy and you’ll have gelato.” She smiled. “I was wondering …”

  “Yeah?”

  “Perhaps we could do some painting in the backyard?”

  “Oh sure, I would love to. Do you have paints or shall I bring my own?”

  “I’m not really much of a painter, but I figured you could show me what you do and maybe show me a couple of tricks. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do. I’ve always wished I was good at it, but I never really got around to it.”

  “Oh, but of course. Would you like to join us, Lucas?”

  He shook his head. “No, I’ll let you and Nana do it.”

  “Okay. Well, let me go and get my stuff, and I’ll meet you right back here.”

  “Sounds great. Thank you, dear.” She gave me that sweet smile.

  I hurried to my room and grabbed my art supplies and went back to the study. Edith was standing by the doorway.

  “I’m thinking we should go into the backyard. We have beautiful flowers and garden statues and, well, whatever inspires you.”

  “Is there something in particular that you would like to paint?” I asked her.

  “Well, I do have some beautiful roses and it would be quite nice to see if I could get them on canvas or paper or whatever it is you use.”

  “I think we could do watercolors, and actually, flowers are quite easy for a beginner.”

  “Easy? Oh, I don’t know about that.” She laughed. “But I’d be happy to try if you’ll teach.”

  “Yeah, let’s do it. We just need two hard surfaces to put the paper on. I don’t suppose you have any boards or anything?”

  “Let’s see what we can find.” We walked down the hallway to another room and opened it. Inside was a library. “Oh no, not in here.” She laughed, “This way.” She said and closed the door. We walked a couple more steps and she opened it. Inside what looked to be an art studio. I stared at her in surprise.

  “Oh, so you are an artist, or is Edward?”

  “No, we always hoped one of the children would be into art, and well, I just like to shop. I think that’s where Lucas gets it from.” She smiled a little sheepishly. “I created this art studio years ago, and w
e’ve filled it out, but no one ever used it. Perhaps you’d like to use some of the supplies?”

  “Oh, thank you.” I nodded. “That’s very sweet of you.”

  “So, have a look around my dear. See if you see anything that you think could work.” I looked around, and immediately I saw two hard drawing boards.

  “Okay, this is amazing. We’ll use these. I wonder if you have any washi tape or …” I then saw some masking tape. “Oh, this is perfect. We’ll use this.”

  “Oh?” She looked surprised, “And what’s that for?”

  “We’re going to tape the paper to the board with this tape. It comes off easily, so that way we won’t rip any of the paper once we’re done.”

  “Oh, how smart.” Edith nodded, “I never would’ve thought of such a thing.”

  “Oh, it’s a trick of the trade. You’ll know so much more once I’m done with you.”

  “Well, I’m happy to learn. Shall we go to the garden?”

  “Of course, that would be great.”

  “I’ve told the housekeeper to bring us some drinks and snacks in about half an hour. Just in case you get thirsty or peckish.”

  “Oh, sounds good. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome, dear. It’s so nice to have a new face in the home. I miss everyone when we’re up here by ourselves. I do wish that everyone were closer.”

  “Is most of your family in the city then?”

  She nodded. “Yep. Everyone’s in Manhattan, and don’t get me wrong, we do have a place in the city and I love it, but it’s just not the same. You just don’t have the green space. You don’t have the tranquility, you know?” She paused, “You hear that?”

  “Umm …” I listened but didn’t hear anything but a bird chirping. “No. What am I listening to?”

  “The sound of silence, dear, the sound of nature. When you get to my age, you appreciate it all the more.”

  “I love nature,” I nodded. “I really do. I mean, I know I live in the city and there’s not much nature to be had, but I love coming to places like this. I really think that I could live in the country one day.”

  “Really?” She looked surprised. “That surprises me.”

  “Oh, why?”

  “I don’t know, I find that most city girls these days don’t want to leave the city.”