by Brenda Ford
“You have made sure that the prissy bitch doesn’t want him anymore, right?” My heart stops beating as he barks this out. “Because I don’t want her to ever become an issue again…”
Something is muttered but I don’t catch it. Not that it matters. Butch garbs my hair and yanks my head upwards so I can see Tara unlocking the trunk of one of the other cars. She then tugs out a disheveled and injured Rose. The woman that I love is a very different sight to how I saw her the last time and it absolutely breaks my heart. She is in this mess because of me and she knows it. I can see with the way that she is looking at me.
I was never good enough for Rose and I knew it. I knew that I shouldn’t have dragged her in to my life. Now she knows it as well and I bet she absolutely hates me. She wishes that I was the one who died.
“Artie,” she screams out just as Tara knocks her to the side, stripping the air from her lungs.
“Ro… Rose,” I cry back but I don’t have much strength, so it is more of a stammer. “Are you okay? What did they do to you? Did they hurt you?” She looks hurt. I can see blood. But she is alive…
“Shut the fuck up.” Butch slams his foot in to the side of my ribs. “She is none of your business now. You heard my sister, she wants you, so the best that you can hope for is me keeping Rose alive.”
The reality of this affects me deeply, it makes me want to throw up everywhere. He really means this, doesn’t he? He wants me to be with Tara and to forget that Rose even exists. Even though this is a crazy thing to ask of anyone, Butch is serious. He isn’t fucking about. He really thinks that this can be possible.
“What do you want from me?” I mutter, pain shooting through my whole system. “What do I have to do?”
Butch leans down to whisper to me. He sounds smug and self-satisfied which only makes me feel worse. I just know that I am not going to like whatever he says to me which scares the living shit out of me. I wouldn’t put it passed Butch for him to try and get me to hurt Rose just to prove myself to him. I won’t be able to do it, I love her too much for that, but it could end up getting both of us killed. This is a God damn mess.
“You need to tell me that you are going to stay,” he hisses. “That you aren’t going to try anything silly. I need to know that after this one little slip up that it isn’t going to happen again. I need to know that I can trust you because usually, once trust has been broken it’s very hard to build it back up again.”
I don’t want this; this has never been what I wanted. I have fought so hard to try and escape this gang, but the meaning behind Butch’s words are clear. If I agree to his terms, then Rose will live, if not then I will basically be killing her. This isn’t a choice at all, he is coercing me, controlling me, and I have to let him.
“Will you let Rose go?” I need to know that I am on the right path, that I am going to get what I want out of this as well. I can’t stand the idea of her being hurt regardless of me giving them what they want. “Will she be safe? I need to know that she will be allowed to go back to her life, then I will do what you want.”
I feel like shit even saying this, I can’t force myself to meet Rose’s eyes because it feels like I am giving up on her and letting her slip through my fingers. I’m not, I want her to know that, I’m just keeping her safe, but this is still awful. If she gets out of here, I’m sure she will remember this horrible day forever.
“Rose will be fine if you promise to be loyal to me all over again. That’s what I want.” I nod, letting Butch know that he has won. I will never be able to defeat him; I know that now. “Fine, then she can go.”
He steps away from me and I drag my aching body off the ground. I need to look at Rose now, even if all I get is hate back from her. This might be the last time that I ever see her, and I need to look.
She meets my eyes and my heart vanishes in to thin air. I don’t know if I can let Butch win, not the war anyway. The battle is fine, he has to win this, but for Rose I think I might have a little bit of fight left within me. Just a tiny bit, but it might be enough… maybe…
Chapter 16 – Rose
I don’t understand what’s happening, I haven’t yet worked out if my life is in danger or not. I’m a freaking mess, my head is all over the place, I have no idea if I am going to live or die. I wanted to focus on what was happening when Artie was around, but it hurt me too much to see him getting hurt. It doesn’t matter that he is the reason that I found myself in that situation, but I still don’t want him harmed.
Watching that awful man, the one who put his blade against my cheek and cut me, punch and kick the man that I love to the ground was the worst thing that ever could have happened to me. All I wanted to do was save him, but I wasn’t given the opportunity. I was stuck, tied up, forced to see it un fold in front of me.
Then once it seemed to be over, I was bundled in to the back of this car and now I don’t know where I am being taken. I could be being driven out in to the desert to be killed, I could be set free in the middle of nowhere, I could be taken to another warehouse and be kept as a prisoner forever… anything is possible.
“Here we are,” the gruff male voice of the gang leader declares as the car screeches to a stop. “The train station. That’s how you have been traveling around, isn’t it? I presume that you have a ticket?” I nod even though I’m not totally sure what he’s talking about. My brain is still fuzzy to be honest. “Right, well here is your hand bag. Before I un tie you and let you out, it probably goes without saying but I don’t like to leave things confused.” He laughs loudly as if this is some kind of joke. I don’t know if he expects me to join in but I’m not going to. My mouth is too dry anyway and right now there isn’t a damn thing that I find funny. “If you tell the police about what happened here, or anyone who will go to the cops, then we will kill Artie and you as well. I’m sure the fact that I took you from your hotel room shows you how much power I have.” He pauses thoughtfully. “I don’t want that to happen, I much prefer to leave people alive. Cleaning up bodies is so messy. But if necessary. Oh…” He points a finger in the air. “The same goes for contacting him as well. You can’t do that either. He belongs to me now. Well, not now, he always has done. We can’t have his eyes wandering and big dreams forming.”
I nod rapidly, knowing that if I do want to get out of here alive then that is what I need to do. Luckily the man bursts out in to a very ugly smile and he begins to un tie me. I hate him touching me even at all, but I have to do my best not to flinch. I need to play it cool; I don’t want my fear to show. Nor my confusion.
“Are you getting out of the car then?” He cocks an eyebrow at me. “Or do you want to chat?”
I slide out the car with my bag in my hand, needing to escape. My heart is still thundering, my brain spinning, there is a serious sickness in my stomach. The car speeds off quickly leaving a trail of dust behind it, leaving me all by myself. I don’t know whether to breathe out with relief of whether I should collapse on the floor. That man might have left me behind, but it also means the end of me and Artie. I don’t even know where he is. All I know is that he belongs to the gang. Once you sign up you are in it for life which makes him out of my reach.
“Are you okay?” A stranger rest her hand on my shoulder making me flinch violently. I haven’t even thought about the rest of the world, but I’m sure I look completely insane staring at the road while I look a total mess. I’m not even in clothing. Just the sweat pants and tee shirt that I wore to bed. I must look a fright.
“I’m…” I don’t like the way that she’s looking at me. Her eyes keep darting to the scar which must already be forming on my cheek. A long-term reminder of what I have been through here. “I’m fine.”
She snaps me in to action. Right now, as worried as I am about Artie, I need to save myself as well. I rush towards the platform, glad that there is a machine to buy a ticket, so I don’t have to talk to anyone. Thankfully, all my money remains in my bag, but I guess I wasn’t kidnapped for financial gain, so I
can pay quickly and jump on the first train that arrives on the platform. I slide in to a seat glad that no one will be able to really see me now. I can stare out the window and not talk to anyone. That way I won’t need to explain myself to anyone.
It’s only as I stare at the woman in the window who no longer looks anything like me, I realize that I’m crying. Tears are pouring down my face once more and my heart is breaking hard. Really hard. I have lost everything today. I have lost the man who I really thought that I was going to have a future with. Once more. Why is the world so against me and Artie being together? Why are we torn apart all the time? I don’t understand why fate brought him back in to my life just to then take him away from me once more. What did I ever do to deserve that?
This time, it really is over for good, isn’t it? That gang leader made it clear that Artie belongs to him which means that me and him are done. He might as well not even exist to me anymore. It’s done…
“What the fuck happened to you?” Nikki screams the moment that I step off the train. “I knew that you were in a bad place the moment that you messaged me to meet you here, but what the hell…?”
I don’t answer her. I can’t. Instead, I am a sobbing mess. I fall against my friend’s chest and cry even harder. Thank God I have such a good person in my life. Despite everything else, I am lucky with her.
“Oh God, come on.” Nikki takes me towards her car. “Let’s get you out of here.”
Thank God she isn’t make me talk right now. I will explain to her because it’s the right thing to do, but not now. Right now, all I need to do is get the hell away from the train station where people can stare at me.
Once we are driving away, I sense Nikki’s eyes up on me the whole time. Like a good friend, she doesn’t want to push me, but she does want to know why I am such a God damn mess. I just need to find the words, and the right words as well. I can’t say too much because I risk Artie and me dying but I need to say something.
“Did this happen while you were working, Rose?” Nikki finally asks me cautiously. “Because if so, I think that we need to speak to the boss and maybe re visit things. It can’t be right if it’s dangerous…”
I shake my head sadly. “I lied about work, Nikki, and I’m really sorry. I should never have lied to you.” She remains tight lipped to make me explain more. “I just knew that you didn’t approve of Artie and I wanted to keep seeing him. Even though I knew that it was a bad idea, I couldn’t help myself. We just have so much history.”
“I… see…” I can tell that Nikki doesn’t understand at all. “So, you were with him and… what happened?”
“You were right to be worried,” I tell her. “His bad life style did catch up with him, and me as well. I still don’t think that he is necessarily a bad guy but the people around him are awful. So bad.”
“So, someone else did this to you?” Nikki exclaims in shock. “Some criminal? You must immediately go to the police about this. You can’t let these assholes get away with it. I mean, you are cut, aren’t you? On your face. You can’t let whoever this was get away with it. They need to be taken down. This is awful.”
“I can’t. I have been threatened, so has Artie. If I go to the police, then we will both die.”
“And what does he say about this?” Nikki bites back, clearly raging at Artie. It doesn’t matter how much I tell her that he isn’t a bad person, I don’t think that she will ever believe it. “Artie must have said something…”
“I haven’t spoken to him. I can’t speak to him. That’s also something to get us killed. It was made very clear that if I ever call him or anything, we are both done for.”
“What the fuck are these people?” I notice Nikki driving a little too fast, but I’m scared to tell her that because she is already so angry. “Is it like the fucking mafia or something? This is really bad, Rose.”
“I know, I know…” I want to weep some more. “And I can’t help myself. All I want to do is call Artie, but that is done now. As long as I keep away from everything Artie then we will both be fine.”
“Probably for the best.” I don’t think that Nikki means to be insensitive, but that’s how it feels. “You need to keep away from someone like that, it isn’t right. You can’t put yourself in danger for a man.”
I wish that it was as simple as Nikki is making it out to be. I wish that I could walk away from this situation and get back to normal life, easily forgetting about what happened to me and also putting Artie out of my mind for good, but it isn’t like that, is it? I will never be the same again. There is no chance.
“I am going to stay with you tonight,” Nikki tells me firmly. “If you won’t go to the police then that’s fine, that is your decision, but I will stay with you to clean you up and look after you. Plus, I don’t think it’s wise for you to go in to work tomorrow, and I can put that call in for you to take care of you…”
I don’t need her to stay with me. I would rather be by myself to give me the space and time to wrap my head around everything that has happened. But I don’t have the emotional strength to fight her. She won’t hear it anyway; she is understandably worried about me. Not that I can blame her, I would feel the same if it was the other way around. So, I will just have to let her take care of me. Maybe she will be able to help me get back on the right path, back to normal life, because that sure as hell isn’t going to be something that I can do myself.
“Thank you, Nikki,” I whisper instead as I rest my head against the window, wondering why my life got all turned upside down like that, wondering how things are so messy, and most importantly wondering how I am supposed to live my life without Artie in it. One thing is for sure, nothing will ever be the same again.
Chapter 17 – Artie
Three Weeks Later…
“How are you doing?” Tara asks me smugly as she rests her hand on the small of my back. I hate the way that she keeps doing that, touching me like I belong to her or something. Just because she made sure that Rose vanished doesn’t mean that me and her are ever going to be a thing… but I do have to keep her on side because Butch is watching me like crazy and I have to act like I am fully in. “You look good today… ooh is that blood?”
I roll my eyes as she gently caresses the bike oil on my hand as if she actually thinks that it will be blood. Although if I’m honest with myself then I have to admit that I’m worried. Butch is definitely going to try and push me at some point, to shove me to the edge of what I can handle to prove my loyalty to him. He hasn’t done it yet, but I’m waiting on the edge of my seat, planning for the worst. I think that’s what Butch wants, me worried until he eventually springs the worst up on me. I just hope that I am out before then because that is still my plan. Even if it is fucking crazy, I am still determined to work out a way to get out of here.
“What’s up, Tara?” I say wearily. “I’m a little busy working here which I’m sure you can see.”
“Yeah, yeah, but you always have time for me, right?” She makes a point of stretching out her long leg like a bit of skin will lure me in. “I’m sure that Butch will give you the time for a chat. You know that he is behind me and you ending up together… even if you did have a little hiccup with that ex of yours.”
Oh God, Rose. She doesn’t feel like an ex to me. Not now. I am still head over heels in love with her, still dedicated to her, she is still mine. I am going back to her when I can, and I will. I hated letting her go. I hated watching Butch take her away from me, but he took her to the train station and let her go free which is all that I wanted at the time. I needed her to be safe, then everything else could happen, which it will…
Every time it feels hard being here, I just think of her back in her life and know that she is alive and that’s the best that I can wish for. Alive and hopefully not hating me. Not that I could blame her for that.
“Okay, well, good chat, Tara…” I try in an attempt to get rid of her. “But I really have to…”
“Good chat?” she scoffs.
“But we haven’t even talked yet. What the hell are you talking about?” She doesn’t wait for me to argue with her anymore. “No, I have actually come here for a reason, because I want to see what you are doing tonight. I thought that me and you could hang out at the bar…”
“At the club house bar? You don’t even want to go out of the club?” Tara looks at me blindly like she doesn’t even know what I’m talking about. This is exactly what Butch wants in the girlfriends of the gang. Women who are so dedicated that they don’t even understand about a life outside of the club house. “Really? I wasn’t intending to go to the bar tonight. I was planning on going straight back home after work instead.”
“Don’t be so dull.” Tara presses her hand to my chest. I can’t stop myself from flinching a little bit but that doesn’t put her off at all. “Come and have some no pressure fun with me. I’m not asking you to marry me or anything. Not yet anyway. I just want to have a laugh. The other guys do as well. They miss you.”
I can’t believe that, not for a second. I haven’t ever been close enough to anyone for them to miss me like that. She is just trying it on, trying to bring me back in to the fold once more because much as I have done everything that Butch wants of me, I haven’t been integrating myself properly. I haven’t been hanging out in the bar and letting them know that I am a real part of the gang once and for all. But for now, it might be time…
“Yeah, sounds good, Tara.” I shock the both of us as I say this. “Maybe I could do with loosening up a bit.”
“I think so,” she gushes excitedly. “I want you to be a part of the gang again, and so does everyone else. We all feel really bad about everything that has happened. We just want to put it behind us.”
“Hmmm, yeah.” If I act like I believe this then maybe she will fall for it. “Okay, well let’s do it.”
