Heathen: A Dark Enemies to Lovers Romance (Redwood Rebels Book 2)

by Rachel Leigh

  Curled up in a ball on the bed, I jolt upwards when I hear someone coming down the hall outside the door. “Marni?” I say loud enough, so that whoever it is can hear me.

  The door opens and Lars walks inside. Once again, without knocking, but this time, I don’t even care. My heart melts into a puddle in my lap and those giddy butterflies mixed with that agonizing fear of the unknown return. “You’re here,” I say, trying not to be too obvious that I’m over the moon excited to see him.

  “Are you ok?” He remains at the door and doesn’t even bother to come closer. His arms are crossed over his chest and eyes twinkle in the dim light of the room.

  “I’m ok. I take it you heard?”

  “I had no idea they were doing this. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s ok. Everything is starting to make sense now. Well, most of it, anyways.”

  His head tilts to the side and he cracks that sexy smile that turns me to mush. “I’m glad that it’s making sense to you because I have no clue what’s going on. Seems I’m out of the loop on this one.”

  “Well, I don’t know what Zed’s plan is, but he says if I help him, he’ll help me leave.”

  “You don’t have to help him if you don’t want to.”

  “But Marni said that it’s the only way that you can all be free from this mess with Josh.”

  “Ah, you know about that. Why am I not surprised.” He begins walking toward me, my heart jumping with each step that brings him closer.

  “Madison actually told me that part.” I bite back a smile. “Heard you two are in love?”

  “Madison needs serious help. Hopefully she gets it when she’s in Colorado.”

  “She left already?”

  “Let’s just say she’s on her way out.”

  Thank God. I really didn’t want to deal with that girl. “I’m sorry I lied to you, Lars. For what it’s worth, I felt like I didn’t have many options.”

  “You don’t have to apologize. Everything that happened to you is because of me. I didn’t deserve your truth. Still don’t.”

  “Well, if it wasn’t for you, then it would probably have been one of them who took the bet. I’m glad you took it.”

  He takes a seat on the bed and drags his teeth over his bottom lip. “I never would have let anyone else have it. Probably would have beat the shit out of them for even suggesting someone else do it.”

  I feel like I should be mad even talking about this, because the bet was the first flip of the domino, but the way his words warm my insides makes it impossible to be upset about it anymore. “I hope we can move on from this all and I know we’ll never see each other again, but…” I begin to choke up and take a long pause. God, it hurts so bad. “You’ll always be my first.”

  “I didn’t deserve to be.”

  “Not my first, first. I’m talking about my first love.” It’s always been Lars. Ever since his brother’s funeral, he found his way into my heart. I’d forget about him for a while, but then he’d pop up somewhere, like church, and I’d feel him knocking at the walls inside of me again. It wasn’t until freshman year that my crush developed. By sophomore year, he visited me in every dream. Junior year, I fell in love. Senior year—I lost him. “Can you promise me one thing?”

  “I can probably do that.”

  “Wait until I’m gone before you tell everyone the truth about the baby. It’s only a couple days.”

  I watch as his fingers trail down my bare leg. Sending goosebumps in their path. “I wanna go with you, Willa.”

  My head shoots up. “You what?”

  “Let me leave Redwood with you. I know you said that it won’t work and that I don’t want that life. But, that life is all I want. What I don’t want is a life without you in it.”

  I’m pretty sure my heart just stopped beating. “But the baby, it’s not yours.”

  “She’s always been mine. I don’t need a DNA test to tell me otherwise.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper. “That reminds me, the results came in. At first, I wasn’t even going to pick them up because I knew all I needed to, but then I remembered they ran some genetic bloodwork to make sure everything is ok. Good news, the baby is healthy.”

  I’m not even sure what he said after she’s always been mine. Obviously, I know he’s metaphorically speaking. We both know the baby is Rick’s. But, in his heart, it’s his baby.

  He hands me the paper and my eyes skim over it. Everything looks good, and it’s confirmed that there was not a match between the fetal fragments in my blood work and the blood work Lars had done.

  He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a separate piece of paper. “Apparently they also do a gender test. Do you wanna know or should I let it be a surprise?”

  “Oh my gosh, you better tell me!” I drop the results in my hand on the bed then snatch the paper from his hand. “It’s a girl!” My hands fly up and the paper falls beside me.

  “See. That’s another reason I have to go with you. She’s gonna need a dad to protect her from assholes.”

  As much I want this. It’s a fantasy. It’s not real. Lars thinks he wants this life with us, but how could he really? He’s only eighteen years old. Hasn’t even graduated yet. Letting him go with me and raise the baby would be selfish. It hurts fiercely to have to do this, but I can’t let him throw his whole life away. Climbing onto my knees, I sit in front of him on the bed. Tears sting the corners of my eyes and threaten to break free while a ball lodges in my throat. “Lars, you’re going to be the best daddy in the world someday. But, it’s not time for that, yet. You still have so much living to do before you settle down.”

  “No.” He shakes his head. “No. I want this. More than anything in the world. I want you. I want our baby.”

  “No you don’t. You just think you do. You want out of this town. Away from your idiot friends and away from this mess.” I think very clearly before I say what’s coming next, but it needs to be said. “Loving this baby won’t bring Colby back. You’re feeling the emotions you’ve been searching for, Lars.” I smile through the pain that’s eating away inside of me. “Let that be enough.”

  Taking my hands in his, he lays them on my lap and stands up. “I’m feeling emotions because of you. This has nothing to do with Colby.” He bends down, pressing his hands on either side of my head with his face mere inches from mine. “I love you, Willa.” His mouth meets mine and tears slide down my cheeks. Falling onto my lips, I can taste the saltiness of this heartbreak.

  Sweeping his thumb underneath my left eye, he breaks the kiss. “I’ll follow you wherever you go.”

  A life with Lars would be a dream. He’s standing here telling me he loves me and my baby and he wants to be with us. Why am I fighting it? I don’t have to leave my heart in Redwood; he can come with me.

  Kissing his lips gently, I smile. “Ok.”

  “Ok?”

  “Yeah. Let’s run away.”

  “You’re serious?”

  “You didn’t give me much of a choice. You said you’d follow me and I’ve had enough stalkers the past couple days to know I don’t want more. So, yeah. Come with me. There’s just one thing.”

  “You name it.”

  “I’m still helping Zed.”

  He grows weary and I can tell he’s not pleased. “What’s he want you to do?”

  “I can’t tell you, but it’s not as bad as what you’re probably thinking. It’s tomorrow morning and should only take me an hour tops. It’s not just for me; it’s also for your friends. And for Zed, too. I’m not sure why, but this is important to him. I can’t leave Redwood with a guilty conscience, knowing that I could have helped them and I didn’t.”

  “Alright. I made a promise that I’d be around tomorrow with the guys, so we’ll plan on leaving Monday.”

  I stand up and jump into his arms. “I can’t believe we’re doing this.” My arms hook around his neck while my legs latch around his waist.

  “I never planned on letting you leave witho
ut me.”

  22

  Willa and I laid in bed for hours talking. I told her all about the pact and what happened with Josh. I offered her a stamp as one of us, but she immediately declined. Willa doesn’t want her revenge because she thinks that revenge hurts the victim more than the assailant, but one day, Rick will pay for his sins.

  When I look at her sleeping peacefully, I see the Willa that wears her heart on her sleeve. The girl who’d give you the skin off her bones, the blood from her veins, and a chunk of her heart, just to be accepted. I would have taken it all and dressed myself in her broken pieces just because I could. My entire life I’ve been nothing but a boy crying out for attention. Whether it was making another person the butt of my jokes, feeding my ego with a win from a bet, or using my brother's death to be noticed by my parents. Willa didn’t deserve it and I never should have used her just for kicks with the guys.

  “What time is it?” Willa stretches with a yawn.

  “It’s early. Go back to sleep.” I kiss her on the cheek. “I have to go to my house and see my dad and I’ll be back before you need to leave.”

  “Hurry back,” she mumbles, as she tugs the blankets around her.

  As much as my old man pisses me off, I’ve gotta see him before I go. I also need to make sure that Madison followed through and left Redwood.

  Once the alarms and cameras are set, I go to my car. Christmas is only four days away and there’s a nip in the air that has me cranking the heat up. There’s a real possibility that I’ll get to see my first white Christmas. Willa chose New York. She said that she’s always had big dreams of a city life. It’ll do for now, but as the baby grows up, we’ll need a big house and a yard.

  I know that Willa wants to leave Redwood and never come back, but I can’t make that same promise to myself. There will be times that I’ll come back and visit. I’ve got my boys here. We’re all a little dysfunctional, but that’s what keeps us together. I don’t have a clue what Zed’s plan is, but the closer he gets to his revenge, the less evil I see in his eyes. I’m not sure that any of us will ever forget what he did. Taking advantage of Marni, blackmailing me so that he could get to her. But, for his own sake, I hope he gets what he wants out of this day.

  I pull up to the house and it looks like Cruella had someone turn it into a Christmas Candy Land game in the yard. There are blow up decorations covering the entire lawn and lights strung on every inch of the house. There must be some sort of contest going on because she’s not exactly the warm and joyous type.

  As soon as I get out and notice movement going on inside the house, rage consumes me. Through the picture window, I can see Madison sobbing into her mom’s shoulder. Dad stands by idly with his hands in the pockets of his black Kiton suit.

  Just when I think I need to get the fuck out of here, Madison looks at me. Raising her hand, she points her finger and begins crying harder. Her mom peels Madison off of her and disappears from my view.

  When the front door flies open and Lynn comes running at me in a pair of heels and a coat, made from at least forty white rabbits, wrapped around her, I take a few steps back and hold my hands up. She tears one shoe off and raises it in the air as she charges me, though it actually slows her down because she’s wobbling all over the place trying to balance herself with the missing six inches on one leg. “Woah,” I hold my hands up. “What are you doing?”

  Before she gets to me, her red pump flies through the air and lands about six feet to my right. Terrible throw. “Have you lost your damn mind?” I holler.

  She grabs her other shoe as my dad comes rushing out the door. “Lynn, stop.” He makes it just in time to grab it from behind, before she drills the heel into the top of my head.

  “Lars. Inside,” Dad says as he holds Cruella in place.

  “Nah, I’m good.” I shoot a thumb over my shoulder. “I’ll just go.”

  “Inside. Now!” he shouts with an authoritative voice that I’ve grown accustomed to.

  Really don’t wanna go in there with Madison. She’s standing in the window with tears streaming down her face, playing the victim. I’m not sure what she told them. This could be really fucking bad.

  But, I do as I’m told and head for the door. I don’t dare walk in alone, though. Being alone with Madison never goes well and I’m not sure I’ll be able to refrain from losing my temper and making things worse than they already are.

  Standing at the front door, I wait for Dad while he tries to reason with Lynn. His hands are braced on her shoulders and the way his jaw is ticking leads me to believe that his irritation doesn’t only sit with me.

  Pulling out my phone, I check the time: 10:16. Willa said she needs to leave at eleven o’clock and I told her I’d be back before she heads out. “Come on. I don’t have all day,” I holler across the lawn.

  Both heads twist and look at me and I probably should have just kept my mouth shut. Dad comes stalking toward me, huffing and puffing, while Lynn trails slowly behind. She hugs her rabbits closer to her chest with her eyes laser-focused on me. “Get the hell in the house.” Dad grabs me by the arm and drags me like a ragdoll. “You’ve got some explaining to do, young man.”

  “Whatever she told you, it’s all lies. She’s a fucking psycho, Dad.”

  “Yeah. No kidding,” he mutters under his breath. Is he taking my side? Do they both finally see what a nutcase Madison is?

  We step into the living room and Madison’s frown quickly diminishes. “You came for me. Like you said you would.” She begins walking toward me, but Dad sticks his arm out to stop her from coming any closer.

  I look from Madison to Dad. “What’s going on here?”

  “Madison claims that you two were in a relationship, but you cheated on her and knocked up the pastor’s daughter and recently told her to go wait for you in Colorado.”

  My head drops back and I let out a dramatic sigh. “Fuck. You said that, Madison?” Her smile only grows. She’s either pleased with herself, or she truly believes her own lies. I turn to Dad, lean forward and whisper in his ear, “Can we talk in private?”

  Dad nods in response and I follow him down the hall into his study. When the door closes, I lay it all out. Well, not all of it. “She’s lying, Dad. She’s fucking obsessed with me and I think she needs some serious help.”

  “Is that baby yours?” Dad spits out. When I don’t respond, he raises his voice. “Is it yours?”

  “Yeah.” I nod. “Yeah, the baby is mine.”

  “Damnit, boy. Do you have any idea how bad this looks for our family?”

  “Our family?” I huff. Is he serious right now? “Our family? You mean my dad who's never home. My stepmom who only wants your money. My stepsister who is three seconds shy of a complete mental breakdown. Or my mom who moved three states east because she couldn’t stand living with a man who refused to acknowledge that her youngest son existed and died. Do you even remember your other son, Colby?”

  His jaw locks and his eyes narrow in on the wall behind me. “Don’t you talk about him.”

  “Why the fuck not? Isn’t it about time that we start talking about him? It’s been nine years, Dad. Stop pretending that he was never a part of our family.”

  “Get the hell out of here,” he shouts, pointing to the door. Normally, I’d go. I’d drop it and move on. Not this time. After nine years, I’m ready to speak my truth.

  “No,” I tell him. “I’m not leaving until you hear me out.” I click the lock on the door and walk back to the center of the room. “He was born in January of 2013. It was the first time I had ever seen a snowflake fall in all my years of living in Redwood. It was rare, but it happened. Mom said it was God’s way of welcoming Colby into the world. You brought me to the hospital and I sat in the corner and didn’t even wanna look at the little thing. But you forced me to hold him and when I did, it was reaffirmed that I didn’t want a little brother. Everyone was so caught up in Colby being here that it felt like the world forgot about me.”

  “
Stop right there.” Dad holds up his hand, but I don’t stop.

  “Two days after he was born, I sat outside the school for an hour because you guys forgot to pick me up. One week later, you missed my first basketball game. At this point, I hated that baby even more. I just wanted him to go back to wherever that snow fell from.”

  “Enough!” Dad screams.

  “Four years later, he died, and it was all my fault.”

  Dad’s feet sweep the room, back and forth. “No, Lars. It wasn’t your fault.”

  “You can’t keep blaming Mom. How would she ever know that I’d ignore him while he wandered outside.”

  “It wasn't your fault. It wasn’t your mom’s fault. It was my fault, dammit. Your mom had an important business meeting that day. We both knew it for weeks. I was supposed to be there with him, but I never came home the night before. I was at a hotel in the city having one of my dozen affairs while I left your mom to take care of you boys. She did what she had to do.” His face drops in his hands and for the first time in my entire life, I watch my dad cry. “I should have been there. It was always easier to blame your mom.”

  Dad is not the affectionate type. I can count on one hand how many times I saw him kiss my mom. He rarely smiles. Doesn’t speak from the heart and bottles up his emotions. We’re similar in that aspect. I stand here with my hands at my sides unsure whether to comfort him or to give him his space.

  When his head lifts and his tears are apparent, he makes the decision for both of us. Eating up the space between us, he slaps one hand around my back and pulls me to his chest. “Don’t blame yourself. You loved Colby and his death was an accident that I should have prevented.”

  Did I though? Did I love Colby? I’m not so sure I did.

  “It’s not your fault, Dad. Like you said, it was an accident. It’s time for us both to move on from it. Start talking about him more. Remember the short years we had with him.”

  He steps back and a smile breaks on his face. “He sure did love you. Thought you were the best brother in the world. Wanted to be just like you.”