Kian

by Tijan

  over me—shock, fear, and excitement. I pushed him back and tried to look up at him, but I couldn’t. It was too dark. His silhouette was the only thing I could make out.

  “They said you left.”

  “Who did?”

  “Susan and her vipers.”

  His teeth showed as he grinned. “Vipers? I take it you’re not a fan of Susan…what’s her last name?”

  “Hollister, and no, I’m not. She screwed over my friend. Speaking of Erica,”—I poked his chest—“Susan said you requested to work with her. Was that after I talked to you about Erica?”

  He caught my hand and held on to it. He murmured, stepping close, “I didn’t know anything about her until you brought up her name, but I did ask Laura about her. She might’ve requested Erica for a reason.”

  “Who’s Laura?” That wasn’t jealousy in my voice.

  His fingers slid against mine, entwining our hands even more. “She’s my head publicist, and she runs everything from the PR aspect.” He tapped my chin, lifting my head. “I got your note.”

  My breath caught and held in my throat. “You did?”

  “I did.” There’d been a lighter note in his tone, but his voice dropped low. “Did you mean it? You don’t want to see me anymore?”

  “Yes.”

  He hadn’t asked the right question. He hadn’t asked if I wanted to mean it. I didn’t.

  Right there, being in a dark closet with him, holding his hand, the desire to be with him was increasing in me. I didn’t want to mean it, not at all, but I bit back those words. Normal life meant no Kian. I wanted to be normal more than I wanted to be with him.

  I murmured, “I’m sorry.”

  The finger that tapped my chin rested there before it moved to smooth over my cheek in a soft caress.

  A shiver racked through my body, filling every pore and cell with pleasure. I wanted to move into that touch, move into him, but I held back. I had to.

  I whispered, “Kian.”

  “I shouldn’t be in here with you then.”

  I heard the regret from him. I heard the yearning, too. My own lurched to my chest and began to mount.

  “Why did you grab me?” I winced at the sound of that. “You know what I mean.”

  He chuckled, releasing my hand, only to cup the side of my face. I felt him leaning closer and closer until his breath coated my cheeks, my eyes, my lips. His forehead softly touched mine, and he rested there.

  He murmured, “I shouldn’t be touching you like this. It’s dark and private in here, and I can’t help myself.” His thumb touched my lip.

  My heart wanted to burst out of me. That touch…I was struggling against licking his thumb. It was right there. I began to pant.

  He kept going, “Miss Hollister insisted on bringing me here to their private box for a drink. I didn’t want to, but Laura made me. Said it’d help with getting a positive angle on the story. I stayed for as long as I could handle it, but I’ve been wanting to find you since I saw your note. Are you absolutely sure, Jo?”

  With his forehead resting on mine, he guided me backward until I touched the wall. I felt the space between our chests, but as soon as I felt the wall and I couldn’t move back anymore, he began to close the distance. The rub of his jeans grazed against my thighs. I could feel him through my pants. It was just a slight touch. He wasn’t pressing against me, but I wanted him to. I wanted to feel all of him.

  “Kian,” I whispered. I was beginning not to think.

  His thumb rubbed back and forth over my cheek. “When we were leaving, one of their friends arrived. They said you were here with that guy you’d said wasn’t your boyfriend.”

  “Jake? What?”

  “I snuck back in. I had to try.”

  “But…” My mind was muddled. What was he talking about?

  I couldn’t help myself. I touched a hand to his chest. He sucked in his breath, and I felt his heart lurch to my touch.

  “If you want me gone, I’ll go.”

  As he spoke, I felt his heart racing like mine.

  He moved his mouth, so he was whispering right into my ear, his lips grazing my ear, “Change your mind. Please change your mind, Jo. I’m showing all my cards here. I have no shame. We’re connected, no matter how much distance or fake names are between us. That day in your bedroom put our lives together, and we have no say about it. I’ve always regretted that you saw what I did, but if I were put in the same situation again, if I saw him doing what he was doing to you, I’d do it all over again.”

  I closed my eyes. He was saying the words I’d wondered about.

  He kept whispering, “We don’t know each other, not really, but I just know how I feel right now.”

  The last of my strength gave way. I leaned into him, sinking against his body, and Kian adjusted. He was now holding me in place. He was holding all of me.

  His hand left my lips and curved around the back of my neck. “I understand why you’re scared. I’m scared for you, but I would never do anything to hurt you.”

  My hand curled into a fist, resting on his chest.

  “You don’t understand. I’ve only ever wanted to protect you. Since Edmund, every time I saw you in the courtroom, all I’ve known is that I have to protect you.”

  Oh God.

  He was saying everything I wanted to hear. Everything.

  A small voice whispered in the back of my mind, But…

  With Kian came the threat of being exposed. Even though every fiber of me wanted to agree to whatever he wanted, to go with him, to get to know him, somewhere in me was an inkling of strength that pulled me away. I had to cling to that last little bit of reservation and make it stronger. Doing that, I felt it spread inside me, and I looked up.

  I saw into him and said, “I can’t, Kian. I…just…can’t.”

  This was the second time I was saying good-bye.

  My jaw hardened. I whispered, cupping his face as he was holding mine, “I want to, you know I do, but I can’t. Please, please don’t push this.”

  I knew then, if he found me again, I wouldn’t have the strength to turn him away again. I would succumb.

  I left the closet, but I had to admit that I wanted him to try again.

  “You’re a dick,” Felicia greeted me as I headed inside our suite.

  Her bags were packed and by the door, and she was glaring at me with hate in her eyes.

  I walked by her and drawled as I flicked my coat off in my bedroom, “And you’re supposed to be on a plane right now.”

  “Oh, I will be. You made sure of that, didn’t you?” She sneered at me. “You had Daddy call and make an appointment for me, you ass.”

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I postponed my flight till later. I wanted to make sure I was here to deliver my message in person. You were supposed to be back an hour ago.” She moved closer, her eyes taking on a dangerous glint. When she was close, too close for my liking, she whispered as her eyes narrowed to slits, “I know you had Ethan sent home. I know you’re having me sent home. And you know that I’ll be back. I will get you back, brother mine.”

  A threat from her would’ve scared me when I was a boy, but I wasn’t a boy any longer. I reached up to grab her wrist. She gasped, but I only pushed her away.

  “Go. Home. Whether you believe me or not, you need help. You’re a drunk, and I’m sick of being a part of it. I don’t give a damn if you’re sleeping with Ethan, but I do give a damn if you’re sleeping with my lawyer. So, yes, sister mine, he’s been let off my case. Go home. Fuck him sideways, for all I care, because I don’t care who you have in your bed just as long as that person is not in a position to screw me, too.”

  “You’re sick, Kian.”

  “No.” I shook my head, stepping away from her.

  I saw the pain in her now. It clung to the heart inside of her, and I knew some of that was from me, from what I’d put the family through, but I knew some of it was just her, things I had no idea about.


  “Go home, Felicia. Get better. Be happy with Ethan if he’s the one for you.”

  Misery cut through her. It flashed over her eyes before she looked away. As she did, the door opened and shut. Laura headed inside, her eyebrows bunched together. Seeing the sight of Felicia and the wine bottle dangling from her fingers, Laura stopped and cast me a quizzical look.

  I stepped farther away from my sister. “What is it?”

  Laura cut her eyes to Felicia again.

  My sister harrumphed, but it lacked the usual fire she had. “Oh, please. Anything you have to ask him, you can do it in front of me. Unlike your publicist ass, I know all the dirt on my brother, and trust me, he ain’t the saint that everyone thinks he is.”

  “I went to prison for killing a man.”

  She rolled her eyes, taking a long drag from the wine bottle and wiped the back of her hand over her mouth. “And even with all the gory details, you’re still loved. If only they knew the shit I knew about you”—she waved her hand at me, the wine bottle tipping back and forth from the loose motion—“they’d view you in a whole different light, Kian.”

  “You have no reason to hate me, Felicia.”

  “Please. Your words might be pretty, but I saw the crime-scene pictures.” She raised her chin, daring me.

  For what, I wasn’t sure.

  Laura sighed. “Not to interrupt your sister’s adoring fest here, but I came to ask if there’s anything I should know about since you went back into the club and sent our car home. You were in there alone.”

  Felicia burst out laughing, pretending to hit her leg in an exaggerated motion. “You’re just now figuring out that he takes off on his own? Kian’s been disappearing at all hours of the night lately.”

  “Kian,”—Laura ignored my sister, watching me with raised eyebrows—“do I need to worry about anything?”

  “Shut up, Felicia,” I snapped. Then, I gentled my tone to Laura. “I like to be alone. Yes, I shouldn’t. Yes, I’m aware of the dangers. And, yes, you should maybe worry, but I’m very good at getting around, undetected.”

  “Catlike reflexes.” Felicia pointed at me. “It was annoying in high school, and it’s a fucking nightmare now.”

  “Ignore Felicia. She’s pissed that my catlike abilities have extended to my hearing as well. I’ve sent her recent boyfriend home”—I gave my sister a meaningful look—“where I know she can resume her relationship with him there, not here.”

  “Fuck this.” Finishing the rest of her wine, she flung the bottle across the living room and grabbed her bags. She threw over her shoulder, opening the suite door, “I have a flight to catch. I know what’s waiting for me at home, but I swear, Kian, I’m coming back. I’ll get you back for this.”

  The door shut behind her, but it wasn’t enough for her. She opened it back up and heaved it shut once again, so it slammed against the doorframe.

  “Well,” Laura noted under her breath. “Would you hate me if I went and locked it just to make sure she didn’t do that again?” She pressed a hand to her ear. “I have sensitive hearing.”

  “Not at all.”

  As she did, I picked up the bottle from the floor and placed it on the counter.

  Laura moved into the living area and perched on a chair’s arm. She was wearing a large wraparound sweater that engulfed most of her petite body. She had dressed for the night already, wearing silk pajama bottoms underneath the sweater.

  Laura wasn’t my first publicist. In the beginning, my family had hired a different one who helped spin everything so that everyone focused on my face and the fact that I’d saved Jordan. However, that publicist hadn’t been up for another media storm, saying it had put undue stress on her marriage. So, my father had hired Laura instead.

  She didn’t look too aggravated at my sister’s tantrum, but I still felt the need to apologize. “About my sister—”

  She waved that off. “Don’t worry. To be honest, I only allowed her to come because I thought you’d need the family support. If I’d known she was like that behind closed doors, I would’ve banned her from the beginning. She’s always been quiet and polite to me.”

  “Really?”

  “If you hadn’t made the call to your father, I would’ve. Having said that, though, I am glad you’re the enemy in her mind and not me.” She shuddered.

  “And speaking of phone calls,” I segued into what Jo had asked me earlier. “That reporter, Erica, you requested to be on the story? She wasn’t allowed on camera tonight.”

  Laura frowned, tightening her sweater around her form. “Is that a problem? She’s tenacious. She’s a good one to have on the team. You want to request a new interview—just with her?”

  Did I? No. But should I?

  Helping Jo’s roommate would be ideal to helping Jo out, but I remembered her last words. She’d already said good-bye to me once. The second time was tonight.

  I let out a sigh. “No, we should just leave it alone.”

  “Okay.” She yawned and covered it with a hand. “You know they’re going to shop that around and get a big network to show it?”

  “I know. That’s fine, as long as the university gets credit.”

  “You’re doing a nice thing. You didn’t have to interview with the school’s newspaper, especially after they’d already rejected your request to come here as a student.”

  “I know.” I’d wanted to come here to be near Jo. That was the only reason. “It was an easy way to get my side out there. It narrows any spin a big network might’ve done.”

  “That’s true.” Another yawn escaped her. “Okay. I’m starting to crash after all the craziness today. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “I won’t be going back with everyone.”

  She had started for the hallway but swung around. “What?”

  “I’m going to stay behind.”

  She lifted an eyebrow.

  “Alone.”

  “Kian,” she started, “please tell me I don’t have to worry about another story hitting the media? That you’re not doing something to cause unnecessary attention on you? Tell me that at least, so I can take a Valium for the plane ride home. If not, I’m going to be on edge the entire way home, telling myself I never should’ve left you.”

  “I’ll be fine. I promise.”

  “Your sister said you’ve been disappearing at night. Is there something else here that I need to worry about?” She paused a beat. Her eyes darkened, and I knew who she was going to bring up next. “If there’s a certain…person…we need to be aware of…”

  She meant Jordan.

  “No.”

  “They had a lot of questions about her today.”

  And I had handled every one with perfection. “Again, no.”

  “One last time.” She leveled me with an ominous warning. “Are. You. Sure?”

  “I’m sure, Laura.”

  “Okay.” Both her hands lifted in the air, surrendering. She took a step backward. “This is me, backing off, but please, if anything happens, you call me immediately.”

  “I will, but nothing will happen.”

  “And I’m also assuming that Parson is okay with this?”

  He hadn’t been. “Of course.” But he had no say in it.

  She was all the way to the door now and she reached behind her, turning the knob. “All right. I guess I won’t see you in the morning then.”

  “Good night, Laura, my publicist.”

  She flashed me a grin. “Good night, Kian, my pain-in-the-ass client that I hope won’t be a pain in the ass in the future.” Then, she stepped into the hallway and closed the door behind her.