When August Ends

by Penelope Ward

  The farther she got from me, the more I just felt…sick.

  Suddenly, it seemed like the switch that had been controlling my sanity flipped.

  “Hey!” I shouted.

  She turned around. “Yeah?”

  “Come here.”

  She walked back until she was in front of me again.

  “Why did you put your panties in my laundry?” I asked.

  Her face turned as red as her dress. At a loss for words, she muttered, “I…uh…”

  Taking a few steps forward, I stopped just inches from her. “If you knew how much it affected me, you wouldn’t have done it.”

  She leaned in, just a hair away from my face. “I wanted to get a rise out of you. I wanted to send you a message without having to say it.”

  I could feel her breath on my face.

  Placing my hand on her cheek, I said, “You’re so fucking honest.”

  She closed her eyes briefly. “I can’t help it.”

  I looped a piece of her hair around my finger. “You could have just said they accidentally fell in.”

  Her breath was shaky. “Yeah, but that would have defeated the purpose. I wanted you to have them. And I wanted you to think of me in them.”

  My breath hitched as I pulled on her hair. “Christ, Heather. You don’t think I feel the same things you do? You think I’m superhuman, that it’s easy to resist you? I’m just trying to do the right thing.”

  “I wish you would stop trying.”

  The scotch must have gone to my head, because I asked, “You want to know what I did with those panties?”

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  “I put them over my face to smell you. I couldn’t get enough. Then I wrapped them around my cock while I jerked off and came all over them. I got so angry at myself for doing it, that I ripped them to shreds. That’s how crazy you make me.”

  Her chest rose and fell. “I knew you wanted me.”

  I gritted my teeth. “I never said I didn’t want you. Did I? Not once. I wish I didn’t want to fuck you.”

  Her breathing was heavy. “Let me taste the scotch.”

  “I said you can’t have any.”

  “I don’t want you to pour me one. I want to taste it on your tongue.”

  Fuck. Me.

  That sentence obliterated the last resistance I had. I gripped her waist and pulled her into me, giving her exactly what we both wanted. My lips smashed against hers before my tongue sought entry.

  Her hot, hungry mouth was everything I’d ever imagined it to be, the moans emanating from it making me so rock hard that my dick physically hurt, aching for more.

  I kissed her harder as she worked to keep up with the pace. Neither of us broke away long enough to even breathe.

  Heather’s fingers raked through my hair as I devoured her mouth. I didn’t even recognize the damn sounds I was making, the sounds of a long starvation finally satisfied. Anyone who drove by would have seen me practically attacking her, and I didn’t care.

  Her lips, her mouth, her tongue tasted so good I thought I might never come up for air. I ran my hands through her soft, silky hair. It felt surreal. But this was wrong. So damn wrong. I was stealing something I had no right to, but fuck if I knew how to stop. Nothing had ever felt this good. It took everything in me not to carry her inside the boathouse and take everything else, too. I knew she’d give me whatever I wanted. And that scared the hell out of me.

  As if she’d read my mind, she spoke over my lips, “I want to feel you inside of me, Noah.”

  Her words were like a slap in the face, a reality check.

  You have no right to do this.

  I pried myself off of her. It felt unnatural—downright painful—to pull away when all I wanted was to disappear into her. But nevertheless, I somehow managed to do it.

  Licking my lips to salvage what was left of her taste, I closed my eyes and caught my breath, intentionally looking away from her. I knew if I looked into her eyes, this would be too difficult. But it had to be done.

  I could ruin her life with one bad decision. I wasn’t going to be responsible for that. I wanted to own her body, but I cared about the soul within it a hell of a lot more—more than anything. I needed to get myself in check before I ruined everything for her.

  When I finally met her stare, she looked distraught, with glistening eyes.

  “Why did you stop?” she asked.

  “I have to, Heather. You have no idea how badly I want you, but I have to stop this before we go too far.”

  Tears formed in her eyes. “I don’t understand you. I never will.”

  At that moment, a car pulled up to the front of the main house in the distance.

  She glanced over to look at it. “Shit. He’s here.” She wiped her eyes. “Tell me not to go with him, Noah, and I’ll stay. I want to be with you. I don’t want anyone but you, don’t want anything but you. I’m so crazy about you. I—”

  “You should go.” That sentence might have been the hardest thing I’d ever had to push out of myself.

  Her pupils darkened. Now she looked pissed. “Really? You want me to go?”

  My mind was in turmoil. The words were right there but wouldn’t come.

  Don’t go.

  Stay with me.

  Be with me.

  I wouldn’t let them out.

  “Go,” I barked.

  I’d never seen her face so red with anger as she turned away and headed toward her house. As her date exited the black beemer to open the door for her, I couldn’t even bear to look at him.

  I went inside and slammed the door. I sat on the edge of my bed with my head in my hands. My ears were ringing.

  It’s the right thing to do.

  You need to ignore these feelings.

  This is not what you came here for.

  Maybe you should go back to Pennsylvania.

  Bouncing my legs up and down, I needed a reality check. There was only one person I could trust enough to talk to about this. While my father knew why I’d come here and knew about Heather, he didn’t know about my feelings toward her. I needed to confide in someone who had enough sense to talk me out of a huge mistake. I needed someone to talk me out of doing what I wanted to, which was to run after her and stop her damn date.

  Dad sounded surprised to hear from me. “Noah?”

  “Hey.”

  “Is something wrong?”

  “Yes. I need your advice.”

  “That’s not something I hear very often.”

  I got right to it. “I fucked up.”

  “Are you in some kind of trouble?”

  “Depends on how you define trouble. I’m not in danger, but I’m pretty sure I’m in trouble.”

  “What’s happened?”

  Running my fingers through my hair, I said, “Things here have gotten out of hand.”

  I spent the better part of the next ten minutes admitting my feelings for Heather to my father—without going into the specifics of what I’d said to her tonight. I prayed he’d be able to knock some sense into me.

  “You kissed her, and now she’s out with some kid?”

  “Yes. A kid her own age.”

  “You do realize that when I met your mother, I was thirty-five, and she was twenty-three?”

  “That didn’t exactly work out, did it?”

  “It worked out plenty for a very long time, wiseass. Got two great sons out of it. For the record, I’d take that woman back in a heartbeat. She’s the love of my life, and I don’t regret a thing. But I digress—the age difference never mattered. You’re beating yourself up for something that has happened to men throughout the ages. You fell for a beautiful young woman—who’s of legal age. That’s not a crime.”

  Pulling on my hair, I said, “This wasn’t supposed to happen. You’re not supposed to be encouraging it.”

  “It’s not enough to believe you’re not supposed to fall for someone. It doesn’t matter what you believe is wrong or right. It’s already happen
ed. You’ve already fallen. Am I right? It’s not a crime to care about someone or to covet them.”

  “I was supposed to help her, not complicate her life even more. This trip was supposed to be about her…not me.”

  “No matter what I say, it’s not gonna change how you feel. Stop trying to change something that’s out of your control.”

  “Maybe I should just leave.”

  “You’re going to walk away now? Never look back? Never see her again?”

  My chest hurt just thinking about leaving any earlier than I was supposed to. Leaving was inevitable, but I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.

  “I’m so damn confused. Tell me what to do.”

  “How about be honest with her? There’s a novel idea! And I mean really honest. Tell her everything. Stop carrying this burden around with you.”

  “You think I should tell her everything? It’s gonna shatter her, particularly the fact that I’ve been hiding it in the first place. She trusts me.”

  “I think that’s part of the problem. You’re walking around with all of this guilt, trying to be some kind of saint. You’re only human. Tell her the truth. Then once you’ve let that go, just let life happen naturally without trying to manipulate everything.”

  “What if she hates me?”

  “From everything you’ve told me, she seems like she’s a pretty smart girl—and tough, too. Hopefully, she can handle it.”

  That was true. Heather was tough. But she wasn’t prepared for this. My father was right, though. My biggest problem was that I didn’t feel I deserved how she felt about me because she didn’t know why I was here.

  I hung up with him, still torn over how to handle things.

  As the night wore on, I felt more and more like telling Heather the truth.

  As much as I was tempted to find out where she was and go to her, I didn’t want to be a dick and interrupt her date. I had no right to do that after I’d kicked her out.

  I just needed to let her know one thing—the one thing I was certain of.

  So I sent her a text.

  Noah: I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have let you go.

  She didn’t respond, and I couldn’t blame her. I had behaved like an erratic teenager tonight. I was a grown man and needed to start acting like one. I owed her the truth. I owed her brutal honesty—not only about why I was here, but also about my feelings for her. But the latter couldn’t come without full disclosure first.

  A long while after I’d texted her, a response finally came in.

  Heather: Well, I could have told you that.

  I couldn’t help but crack a smile, relieved that she was even responding.

  Noah: Are you okay?

  Her answer was immediate.

  Heather: Let me in and I’ll tell you.

  My heart pumped as I rushed to the door.

  Heather stood there getting drenched, her red dress stuck to her body. I’d been so preoccupied, I hadn’t even realized it was raining.

  One look at her, and I was done for again.

  “I couldn’t stop thinking about you all night,” she said.

  “I owe you a huge apology for the way I acted.”

  Her hair was dripping. “I don’t want to want you either, you know. The thought of you leaving and possibly never seeing you again is so scary. I wish I didn’t feel this way.”

  She smelled even better wet from the rain. I really tried not to kiss her again, but the need was even more intense now that I knew what it felt like. I needed to taste her one last time before what would be one of the toughest conversations of my life.

  Wrapping my hands around her cheeks, I brought her face into mine and devoured her lips. This kiss was different than the last. While the first had been frenzied and desperate, this time I kissed her slowly and passionately, my tongue stroking hers gently. Her fingers tangled in my hair as she pulled, seeming desperate for more. My eyes closed as I cherished every second, every little moan that escaped her.

  After several minutes, I gently bit her bottom lip before forcing myself back.

  “Please don’t stop.”

  “I have to.”

  “Why?”

  Taking both of her hands in mine, I led her over to the spot next to me on the sofa.

  “I have to talk to you. I don’t want to put it off anymore. It’s something I wasn’t necessarily going to tell you, because I wasn’t expecting to be in this deep. Now that I am, I feel like I owe you an explanation for why I’m here.”

  “Why you’re here? You’re scaring me. What’s going on?”

  “Please don’t be scared.”

  “What is it? Are you sick? I’ve always had this scary feeling that maybe—”

  “No. Nothing like that. I’m fine. Healthy as a horse.”

  Heather sighed in relief. “Okay…”

  “I’ve been keeping something from you. While you may not fully understand why I didn’t say anything, I need you to know that I came here with the best of intentions.”

  “Intentions?”

  “My choosing this place wasn’t a coincidence.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “What are you talking about?”

  There was no easy way to say it. “Heather…” I took a deep breath and braced myself. “I knew your sister.”

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  * * *

  HEATHER

  My eyes wouldn’t stop blinking.

  Did he just say he knew my sister?

  The only thing that would come out of me was, “What?”

  “I knew Opal.”

  A rush of panic hit me.

  Noah…and my sister?

  “Did you…did you and my sister…”

  “No!” he said adamantly, seeming to realize where I was coming from. “No…God, I need you to know that. Nothing ever happened between us. We were not romantically involved in any way, shape, or form. So please don’t think that. But I did meet her, and I need to tell you the story.”

  The room felt like it was spinning.

  “I can’t believe this. What…”

  “Your sister, she was living in Pennsylvania for a while. She walked into my studio one day, wanting a portrait shoot.”

  Okay.

  That made some sense.

  Noah squeezed my hand. As confused as I was, his touch calmed the shock a bit. I looked at him, waiting for more.

  “She said she was trying to get into modeling and needed a full portfolio.” He paused. “Anyway, we scheduled it. She came back about a week later, and we did the shoot.”

  “You took photos of my sister…”

  “Yes. They were all tasteful, a mix of headshots and simple poses. She was fully clothed. It wasn’t anything crazy. My studio at the time was attached to my house. I have a different space now. Anyway, she met Olivia and everything. I was still married then.” He took a deep breath, seeming to gear up for more. “Despite knowing that fact, your sister started to message me after our business had concluded. You have to believe me when I tell you we never had any contact besides that one shoot. But in her messages, she said really inappropriate things.”

  Oh no. “Like what?”

  “Like she couldn’t stop thinking about me and she felt we had some kind of cosmic connection—also some sexual things. She just kept contacting me through my business email, professing her feelings for me and suggesting we meet up. The first couple of times I responded very simply and dismissively, and after a while, I stopped responding at all. Her messages kept coming anyway. I didn’t know what to do. It was bizarre and unlike anything I’d experienced before. Even after I asked her to please stop contacting me, she kept doing it. It was all very Fatal Attraction. I think she was delusional.”

  Holy shit.

  My sister was without a doubt not well. But when she was taking her medication, she would have good patches. The problem was, you never knew when she would randomly stop taking care of herself. As much as I didn’t want to believe it, this story sounded like her.


  I let him go on.

  “Olivia saw some of the messages, and it really tested us. She knew I was telling the truth, that nothing had happened with Opal, but it was hard for her to accept that a woman was sending me sexually explicit messages and professing her love. It agitated an already bad situation.”

  “So Opal kept emailing you? Then what?”

  He nodded. “Then one day it just…stopped. There were no more messages. At the time I was really relieved, because I never knew if she would eventually try something crazy.”

  “That was it? It stopped, and you never heard from her again?”

  “Not exactly.” He squeezed my hand harder. “That was it for a while. I thought it was over. But one day several months later, I received a call from an investigator in Connecticut. It was…after they’d found her. She’d left a letter at the motel. It was addressed to me.”

  Covering my mouth, I gasped and whispered into my hand, “Oh my God.”

  I had managed to keep my composure up until this point, but now my tears fell. Noah wiped them away with his thumb and went over to the counter to grab a tissue for me.

  I sniffled. “What did it say?”

  “In the letter, she wrote how sorry she was for upsetting me. But that wasn’t the purpose of her writing. She was reaching out to me for my help.”

  “Your help?”

  “She listed your address here on Lake Winnipesaukee and asked me to look after her sister—you—when she was gone. Even in her state of mind, she was worried about you.”

  My heart felt ready to shatter. My lip trembled. “That’s all she said?”

  “Pretty much. She explained that she couldn’t handle life anymore and needed me to help look after you. It wasn’t very long. I have the letter, if you ever want to see it. I didn’t bring it because I wasn’t planning to tell you why I came. But I can easily get it.”

  Still in shock, I shook my head. It was hard to believe, but I knew it was true.

  “I have no idea why she chose me, Heather. I hadn’t heard from her in months, but for some reason, she chose to write to me in those last moments and ask for my help, and it’s haunted me more than you know. Maybe it was part of her same delusional idea that I’d played some important role in her life. I will never know the reason she picked me.”