Unexpected Truth

by Cecilia Fyre

  Ciaran was a sweet kid. A little shy and not unlike his dad, with a dreamy quality about him that Lea found appealing. And he was pretty, with auburn curls a couple of shades lighter than Ricco’s. There was no denying the paternity. Lea had seen pictures of Ciaran’s beautiful model mother. The boy had been luckier than most with the genes he’d been dealt.

  He was reserved around her, but that was to be expected. Lea tried not to wonder how many women he had seen come and go in his dad’s life.

  It was clear that Ricco was delighted to have his son around. Over lunch, he suggested things they could do and asked typical parent questions about school and friends. But he seemed a little nervous, getting a lot of things wrong which made it obvious that he hadn’t seen Ciaran in a while. And while Ciaran answered all questions patiently and was unfailingly polite to them both, his behavior was rather formal. Lea’s inkling that the father-son relationship had suffered due to Ricco’s sudden popularity was reinforced.

  The one thing Ricco and Ciaran truly seemed to bond over were motorbikes, so after lunch, Lea urged them to go out and ride as long as they wanted. She would have to stay behind since neither she nor Ciaran had a license, but she didn't mind. She needed that nap she had been trying to avoid all morning. Ricco gave her a long, searching look. “You okay, doc?”

  Lea smiled her best smile. “Course I am. I’m looking forward to a few hours with a good book. I’ve not had time to read anything longer than the side effects on prescription bottles in a long while.” She kissed him passionately, hoping that’d be enough to dispel his suspicions.

  Father and son donned biker gear and picked up helmets and a backpack with provisions. Lea's heart leaped with happiness at Ricco’s genuine, unadulterated joy. He kissed her again, then held her close. She returned the embrace, stroking his back and neck for a moment, and he sighed against her ear with contentment.

  “Be safe, darling,” she murmured.

  “Always, doc.” With one last squeeze of her hand, he was gone.

  This was exactly what she had been hoping for, Ricco relaxing and enjoying his weekend. Hopefully he would not worry about anything all afternoon. And in the evening, they could talk.

  Lea went to nap in their bedroom, feeling more at peace than she had in weeks.

  She awoke into a thunderstorm.

  At first, all she could hear was yelling. She couldn’t make out any words. Rubbing her eyes, she slid off the bed and went to the door. She cracked it open, listening.

  “You are not going into town on your own! You’re fourteen years old!”

  “Fifteen! Jeez, you know most of your fans’ age and date of birth but can’t remember mine?! And don’t tell me what to do. Mom gave me money, and I can call a cab whenever I want.” Ciaran’s voice rose, shaking with anger.

  “Not while you’re staying here with us, you can’t,” Ricco growled. “You know the rules, buddy. I don’t want to be in no gossip rags cuz my underage son gets plastered in public and smashes up some joint .”

  “If you could just stop talking about that fucking fame game for a minute and actually spend time with me I wouldn’t have to go drinking in some backwater Ottawa bar!”

  “Watch that language, dude.”

  “You’re one to talk!”

  “And we are spending time together. We’ve just been on that bike for four fucking hours!”

  “Yeah, for the first time in what, almost a year? I wouldn’t even be here if I hadn’t invited myself!”

  “Cuz you turned me down like a hundred times!”

  “Yeah, well, I hate hanging with your self-important buddies.” There was a different note in the boy’s voice now. “You should know that by now. It’s never just you and me like it used to be, and if it’s not your actor asshole friends it’s some empty-headed chick you’re banging.”

  “You’re way out of line!” Ricco shouted, loud enough to be heard out on the street. “Lea isn’t empty-headed, she’s cleverer than both of us together!”

  “At least she’s more than half your age. Makes for a nice change, not fancying the same girl as my father!”

  “This is ridiculous.” Ricco’s voice faded as he crossed from the hallway into the living room.

  “No, Dad, it’s the truth!” There was a pause, then Ciaran went on more quietly, “So we going out again, or what?”

  Lea was bewildered. How could Ciaran think that his dad would agree after he'd been so rude? But maybe it wasn't so stupid. Who knew what kind of arrangement they had.

  There was a long silence, and Lea was almost sure Ricco would agree. But then he said in a much lower voice, "Not tonight. I'm getting a headache.”

  Ciaran gave a derisive snort. “Course you are. Always some excuse, and that one’s your favorite, isn’t it?”

  There were footsteps on the stairs. Lea shrank back out of sight. Ciaran stormed down the landing without looking left or right. His face was scrunched up, and he wiped away a tear. The door to his room closed with a thump.

  For a minute Lea hesitated. She wanted to go and comfort Ricco, make sure he was okay. Ciaran had said some terrible things, and they must’ve cut his dad to the core. But would Ricco tolerate her right now?

  Only, what choice did she have? If his head was hurting they had to act fast if they wanted to avoid a repeat of the previous weekend. She got the Lioresal rescue meds from Ricco’s bag and fetched a glass of water from the bathroom.

  When she got downstairs into the living room the lights were off. Ricco sat in an armchair, facing the empty fireplace. Lea crouched by the chair. At first, he wouldn't look at her, just kept staring straight ahead.

  “Honey, what happened?” Lea kept her voice gentle and didn’t touch him. He didn’t speak for a moment. She was sure he’d tell her to go away. But then he looked up. Tears glistened in his lashes.

  “He hates me.”

  It hit her like a punch to the gut. Sure, they’d just had a fight, but Ciaran was a teenager, frustrated with the boundaries his dad had set.

  She said with every ounce of conviction she could muster, “I know very little about you guys, but I’m absolutely certain that’s nons—.”

  “He thinks I fucked up my life,” Ricco said over her. “That I’m fucking up his life, too.”

  Lea had no rebuttal. There was a lot of history here, a lot of resentment and pain that had clearly brewed for a while. This wouldn’t be resolved by her talking sense into him now, but they would have to address it eventually. Her guy was suffering.

  “Darling, I don’t know what to say to that,” she began. Ricco stiffened, but before he could respond she hurried on. “I don’t know your history, so I won’t barge into what I don’t understand. But here’s the thing: Making yourself sick isn’t the answer. You’ve barely recovered from the last migraine. If you just sit here now and let that headache take its course your head will feel ready to explode in an hour. The more attacks you have, the longer it’ll take you to recover every time. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think you can afford to fall out right now.”

  She had hit a nerve. Ricco was still not speaking, but he sat upright, listening.

  He raised his head. His eyes were puffy, and there was pain lurking at the corners. It broke Lea’s heart. In silence, she held out the bottle of pills and the water, and Ricco took both.

  When he’d washed down the pills, Lea got up out of her crouch and held out her hand. The best thing would be for Ricco to sleep. The medication worked best when he was relaxed.

  He pulled himself up with her help. They ascended the stairs. Lea put her arm around him and he tugged her close with a noise that could’ve been a sigh or a sob. He stripped to boxers and T-shirt without a word and climbed into bed. Then he patted the mattress. “Lie down with me?”

  She didn’t need to be asked twice. Stretching out, she opened her arms and he came to her, burying his face against her chest. “It’s all messed up,” he whispered.

  "Oh, darling," she sighed. "I'l
l help if you want. You know that. But for now, you need to sleep."

  He nodded against her shoulder. “True.” And after a moment, “Are you okay, though?”

  Did he sense that something was different? It wouldn’t be a big surprise. Lea barely recognized herself.

  But now really wasn’t the time for that. It never bloody is. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “I’m always messed up, and you take care of me,” he said. “But I never make sure you’re okay.”

  “Yes, you do,” she protested. “All the time. And I’m fine, I promise.”

  It was hard to keep it all in, but Ricco needed to rest now, not be laden down with more worries. And yet, the voice in her head telling her that she was being a chicken was hard to ignore. Lea pushed it away again. There would be time later.

  She kissed Ricco’s brow, his eyelid, then his right temple, the origin of all this pain and misery. “Go to sleep now, darling. When the pain’s gone everything will look much brighter.”

  Ciaran slunk into the kitchen, looking morose and uncomfortable.

  “You want coffee?” Lea asked.

  He glanced at her suspiciously. Lea didn’t blame him. If he was surprised that a grown-up was offering him coffee, he could decline. But she didn’t think he would. Coffee shops had a firm grip on Manhattan’s teenagers, and Ciaran, with a father who didn’t function without coffee, was unlikely to be immune. Either he had been allowed coffee from a young age, or he wasn’t allowed to touch it.

  “Uh, okay…latte?” He clambered onto a bar stool with the lanky agility of adolescent boys.

  “Coming right up.” Lea smiled her sweetest smile and got a second mug. She’d stayed with Ricco until he was asleep, then come downstairs to make coffee and catch up on the Lancet back issues she’d lugged to Canada. Ricco was best served with a few hours of totally undisturbed rest.

  “Dad asleep?” Ciaran asked, studying his hands.

  “He is. The Lioresal makes him quite tired. Hopefully, with a good rest, we’ve avoided a full-blown attack.”

  How much did Ciaran know about his dad’s migraines? He didn’t seem very surprised so Lea hoped he knew enough. The boy didn’t seem to stay much at the penthouse, but the place was small enough that, when he did, he had to know what his dad was up to.

  Lea handed him a mug. “I hope you like froth.”

  Ciaran nodded, but his expression was troubled. He sipped his drink for a while, then words burst from him in a rush. “I’m sorry I upset him. I didn’t want him to get another migraine. They’re horrible. I didn’t think.”

  He clearly hadn’t. But he was a kid, and Lea wasn’t planning on being hard on him. “They are. But it’s not your fault that your dad is feeling bad.”

  Ciaran gave a skeptical snort. “Will he be okay?”

  “He’ll be fine,” Lea said. It would be good to have the boy on her side, though. “But we need to make sure he rests when he’s got some time off.”

  Ciaran nodded, deep in thought. “Yeah, we do.” He slid off the stool and ambled from the kitchen, cradling the mug in both hands.

  Odd kid. Lea shook her head, then grinned. Takes after his dad.

  7

  Ciaran was sweet when Ricco woke up from his drugged sleep. The worst of the headache seemed to have been avoided by their quick action. Ciaran and Lea made sandwiches and soup for dinner. Ricco gave them suspicious looks, maybe guessing they’d had a talk while he was out cold. But he didn’t say anything.

  Father and son played video games after dinner, but when Ciaran noticed Ricco yawning behind his hand he took himself off to bed, and Lea suggested they do likewise.

  Ciaran left the next night. He had to go back to school on Monday. They spent an enjoyable Sunday together, meeting some of Ricco’s friends who worked on the crew for Hell Riders. Regardless of Ciaran’s scathing words, he seemed to enjoy hanging out with these particular guys, who all paid him as much attention as they did Ricco. He was more relaxed that afternoon than he had been with just his dad and Lea.

  Ricco introduced her as his girlfriend. Everyone was friendly, but Lea stuck close to Ricco. More people kept arriving, and to Lea’s relief one of them was Daniel. Ricco introduced her to Nigel. Lea was happy to meet the man who had helped Ricco on the yacht, and who enclosed Lea in a huge bear hug, soon adopting Ricco’s nickname of ‘doc’ for her.

  With the exception of the fight on Saturday, the weekend had been restful, and Lea was sad when it was over. Monday morning brought another disappointment. They were scheduled to fly back to the city at lunchtime, but in the end Lea had to go alone. Ricco received a call from the show executives who wanted yet another meeting. Reluctantly, Lea packed her things and got into the cab by herself.

  “I’m really sorry, doc,” he said as they kissed goodbye. “But I’ll see you as soon as I can wrap up this nonsense.”

  Lea sighed. “Not to worry,” she said. “I’m a big girl. I know this is a stressful time. I’ll see you soon.”

  She gave him another kiss, then got into the car. As she waved goodbye through the rear window she hoped fervently that, left to his own devices, Ricco wouldn’t succumb to the stressful, packed schedule he’d so happily put aside for a couple of days.

  Ricco was getting tired of all the last-minute meetings, and he hated to have to let Lea go back to the city alone.

  The weekend had been great – apart from his fight with Ciaran. But he was almost resigned to them clashing these days. Lea was right, it wouldn’t solve anything to make himself miserable over it.

  He wished he and Lea could’ve spent more time alone. It had been great to introduce her to some of the people he worked with, even though all the actors except Daniel had been away. But he and Lea still had so much to learn about each other, and he wanted to know everything. And there was that feeling that she was trying to tell him something but couldn’t quite figure out how.

  On his way to the network office in downtown Ontario, he felt more and more lonely and depressed. Should he have asked Lea to stay a few more days? But she had her job to go back to. Ricco loved that she did something totally different from him and that she really didn't care for the trappings of fame like most of his previous girlfriends. But her schedule wasn’t flexible at all, and as he drove along the winding roads filling up with traffic closer to town, he was gripped with anxiety. Would he be able to tolerate all the time they wouldn’t be able to spend together?

  When Aurora turned up to the exec meeting it was a pleasant surprise. Ricco had met her and her all-women biker group at a motorbike event in California the previous summer, and he’d invited them to feature on his upcoming travel show. It was the next episode they’d be filming, in the desert outside Las Vegas.

  Treating Aurora to lunch after the production meeting was the polite thing to do. They went to Ricco’s favorite sushi place in Ottawa, lingering long after the last shrimp roll was gone, talking bikes.

  “I’d love to see your new machine,” she said at last.

  Back when they had first met there had been not a hint of flirtation. He'd gone to the bike show in California just after the break-in, and had been too exhausted and preoccupied to do much of anything, never mind find the energy for a fling. All he'd wanted then was to ride bikes and forget about the world.

  But he’d noticed how beautiful Aurora was, with her raven hair and slender figure. She’d talked about a boyfriend then, but he hadn’t come up again now. And neither had Lea’s name been mentioned. A flash of foreboding squirmed through Ricco. He told himself not to be an idiot. Aurora liked bikes, of course, she'd be curious about his new one.

  “Are you free now?” he asked.

  She gave him a look from under her lashes, and guilt squirmed through his gut again. “I got all afternoon.”

  He should make an excuse and leave. Nothing had happened yet. But the thought of the empty house made him say, “Follow me.”

  They barely talked. They didn’t look at the bike. And the worst th
ing was that he fucked her in the same bed, the same sheets where he’d held Lea just that morning.

  When they were putting their clothes back on afterward, Aurora turned to him. “You got a new girl?” She was holding Lea’s Love necklace. She must’ve lost it overnight.

  Furious with himself and all women Ricco snatched the necklace from her. “I’m calling you a cab.”

  So that had been that. Ricco felt only disgust with himself. Why had he done it? He was truly happy with Lea and excited about their future. Why risk it all for a cheap thrill? He didn't know. He never understood what caused him to fuck things up.

  Once Aurora was gone Ricco switched his phone on. He’d forgotten he’d turned it off for the meeting. There was one text from Lea and half a dozen work-related calls. He ignored the calls and opened Lea’s message, heart heavy with remorse.

  Landed in one piece. Rushing home now to shower & change, then back to work. On-call tonight. Don’t worry bout calling right now. Speak when we can. Miss u already, tysm for a wonderful weekend. x

  Ricco threw the phone into the crumpled sheets. The urge to call her and confess what he’d done was strong, but the fear that she would end it right then was stronger.

  He didn’t call her all day. He lay on the sofa, listening to the Peggy Lee songs he’d played her over the weekend, drinking until he passed out long after midnight.

  When he woke with the mother of all hangovers the next morning, the Love necklace was still clutched tightly in his fist.

  8

  Again Lea was on a plane, and again she was on her own.

  Come meet me in LA. Got 2 do press junket, but free in the evenings. U’ll meet some of my West Coast friends. X

  Lea didn't like Los Angeles. She'd spent a year there during her undergraduate studies – pre-med as they called it here. UCLA's School of Medicine had a worldwide reputation for excellence and worked with one of the best oncology departments in the country. But being pre-med, she'd never gotten to see any of that. Instead she'd spent nine months trying not to fall asleep in class as a bunch of bored, over-privileged kids had yawned their way through a biochemistry curriculum she’d already covered in high school.