Unexpected Truth

by Cecilia Fyre

  Ricco's flight was bang on time. It was the smoothest traveling experience he'd had in months. He was exhausted after the con and hadn't managed to sleep on the plane. But at least now he had a couple of days off. And he would get to spend that time with his girl.

  If she still wanted to be his girl after what he had to tell her. Sometimes Ricco was sure she would, and everything would be okay. But five minutes later, the doubt would return, and the disgust with himself, and he was sure he’d lose her. And she would be right. He’d been the worst kind of asshole boyfriend.

  The only way to know for sure was for them to talk. He owed it to her, to them, not to drag this out any longer.

  Ricco let himself into the penthouse just after seven. Carl came from the direction of the bedrooms. This wasn’t normal for the cat at all. Neither he nor Bob usually came to him to say hello. They always needed a little while to get over having been left behind.

  Dropping his bag Ricco picked the cat up and went up the stairs. Lea was probably in the kitchen, making dinner. Hopefully, she hadn't gone to too much trouble. He would hate for them both to lose their appetite once he’d made his confession.

  But upstairs was deserted. Ricco looked around, puzzled. Ingredients were set out in the kitchen, but from the looks of it Lea hadn’t even started on whatever it was she’d wanted to make.

  He put Carl on the sofa and went back downstairs. Maybe she was taking a nap. She’d seemed fond of naps recently. What’s up with that anyway?

  “Lea?” He pushed open the bedroom door. The bed was rumpled, but the room was empty as well. He was about to leave, fishing for his phone in the back pocket of his jeans. Maybe Lea had gone out to buy something at the bodega. Then he noticed a dark spot on the floor halfway to the bathroom.

  What could that be? Looking down from directly above, he realized what the perfectly round, crimson circle had to be. His heart missed a beat. Blood. And closer to the bathroom door, a bigger stain. A footprint, in blood, from which a row of blood droplets led toward the bed. His gaze traced them, and he saw the huge, dark stain on the mattress, almost hidden from view behind the mass of crumpled sheets.

  Ricco yanked open the bathroom door. His body turned to ice by what he found inside.

  Lea lay on the tiled floor. She was face down, not moving. Ricco hurried to her side, taking in the scene.

  She lay in a huge puddle of blood. It was staining her jeans. Her face was deathly pale, and her lips had turned blue.

  “Lea!” he shouted, dropping down by her side. He didn’t dare touch her, afraid to do more damage. “Oh no… nonono…” She didn’t stir.

  The phone that he was already holding buzzed, making him jump. He rejected the call, then immediately dialed nine-one-one with trembling fingers.

  “Emergency services,” a female voice said. “What is the nature of your emergency?”

  “It’s my girlfriend,” he gabbled. “She fell in the bathroom. She’s bleeding.”

  “Where is she bleeding from?” the operator asked.

  “She…oh, god.” The realization hit Ricco like a fist to the gut.

  “Sir?”

  It took Ricco a moment to suppress a scream. “I think… I think she’s having a miscarriage… there is so much blood, oh god.”

  “Is she conscious?”

  “No.”

  “Sir, can you see if she is breathing on her own?”

  “Yes…yes she is.”

  “Do you know if she has hit her head?”

  “I… I don’t…no.”

  “Sir, what’s the address?”

  Ricco reeled it off.

  “An ambulance will be there in five minutes. Sir, I’ll stay on the phone with you until then, okay?”

  “Can…can I touch her?”

  “Only very gently. Don’t move her, but keep an eye on her breathing. If she wakes up, keep her still.”

  The next five minutes were the longest of Ricco’s life. Lea didn’t stir, just grew paler still, and her breathing slowed down. Ricco stroked her face, afraid to look anywhere but at her closed eyes, her pale skin, her slightly parted lips, willing her to keep breathing. His mouth moved soundlessly, over and over forming the same words. Don’t die, baby girl…

  He felt alternately hot and cold and numb with fear, then on the verge of throwing up, or passing out himself. At one point he lost his balance, his legs cramped from crouching. He put his hand down to steady himself. The slippery stickiness of coagulating blood was a shock, and he stared uncomprehendingly at his fingers in the steadily spreading crimson. In a daze, Ricco lifted his hand, watching as the red stuff slowly ran down his wrist, soaking into the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

  A second punch twisted his gut. He’d thought she’d acted weird lately. She must’ve been thinking about how to tell him about the pregnancy. That there was - had been - a baby. Tears welled up then. He no longer heard the soothing voice of the emergency operator on the other end of the phone.

  A baby.

  He hadn’t wanted any more children. And as far as he knew, Lea didn’t want any at all. Was that why she hadn’t said anything? Was she going to get rid of it without telling him? A sick feeling joined the misery in his gut. But she had been behaving oddly for weeks. Why hadn’t she just done it already, if that was the plan? Ricco balled his bloody hand into a fist, digging his nails into his palm until his warm, fresh blood mingled with hers.

  He couldn’t take it in.

  When the doorbell rang Ricco jumped out of his skin. Heart hammering he hurried to let the paramedics in. He buzzed the downstairs entrance open and threw the apartment door wide. He was already halfway back to the bathroom when he remembered. At the last second he snatched up Carl and Bob who were slinking toward the door and banished them into Ciaran’s bedroom. The cats hissed but Ricco ignored them.

  He hadn’t said a word to Lea while waiting for the ambulance, but when he dropped down by her side again he carded his hand through her hair and whispered, “It’s okay now, baby girl. Help’s here, they’ll fix it. You’re gonna be okay.”

  The paramedics appeared and there was a flurry of activity, people talking to him, asking questions. Ricco shrank back into a corner, biting down on his fist. Everything was indistinct behind a curtain of tears.

  They loaded Lea onto a stretcher, and Ricco went with them. He later had no recollection of the drive in the ambulance, other than flashes of her pale face under the oxygen mask. When they pulled up in an ambulance bay Ricco climbed down to find that they’d come to the Bellevue. He wondered if he’d told the paramedics that Lea worked here.

  Everything was happening in snapshots, with chunks of time lost in between.

  Kathy the nurse, asking him what had happened.

  Kathy, showing him into a waiting room away from the main bustle.

  A face he didn’t know. Some doctor, asking if he was okay. Ricco nodded, and the man left.

  Another nurse, bringing him coffee, which went cold untouched on a little table in the corner.

  Ricco paced, biting down hard on the nail of his thumb. Back and forth he went, with no concept of how much time had passed. Every few minutes his heart would start to race, and he would be on the verge of leaving the waiting room, to find Kathy, or anyone, to tell him what was happening. But he didn’t, afraid what they would say. Afraid to be seen.

  “Sir, can I talk to you for a moment?”

  Ricco wheeled around. A police officer stood in the doorway. Ricco’s blood turned to ice. “Is this…is it about Lea? Is she…is she okay?”

  The officer ignored the question. He pulled out a notepad and motioned toward the chairs. “Please sit down, sir.”

  Ricco obeyed. He was exhausted, and past caring. The officer took a seat opposite. "Sir, what is your relationship with Dr. Holm?"

  “She’s my girlfriend.” He hesitated. Why was this guy looking at him with such a stony expression? “Who are you? Is Lea okay?”

  Again, the officer ignored the question. �
��It was at your house that Dr. Holm suffered the miscarriage?”

  “Yes. Why?”

  “Were you there when she lost consciousness?”

  Ricco frowned. “No. I’ve just come back from Montreal, and found her lying in the bathroom.”

  “What were you doing in Montreal?” The officer’s face was unreadable.

  “I work in Canada. My show films there. Listen, what is this about, officer? I don’t understand why you’re asking me these questions.”

  "Sir, do you have an explanation for Dr. Holm's injuries?" The cop's face grew even stonier.

  “What injuries?” Ricco asked, desperate. “She… she lost the baby—”

  “Dr. Holm has two broken ribs, as well as bruising to her hip and arm.”

  “But I—”

  The cop talked over him again. “Did you know before tonight that Dr. Holm was pregnant?”

  “I…no.” Ricco felt sick. “Can I see her please?” He made to get up, but so did the cop.

  “You can’t see her, no.”

  “What do you mean? What are you saying?” Ricco’s voice cracked, his head was reeling. “You… you think I hurt her?”

  “Please sit down, sir.”

  He didn’t need to be told. His legs were weak beneath him, and he slumped back, shaking.

  “Just answer my questions, sir.”

  The room spun out of focus. Ricco gripped on to the seat, leaning forward and rocking himself.

  What did this officer want with him? He’d never hurt anyone. He hadn’t hurt his doc.

  He had to see her, make sure she was okay. She’d tell them they got it all wrong. Oh please, let her be okay… she’ll tell them straight.

  Lea felt sore. Not in an awful, wanting to scream kind of way, just really, bloody, uncomfortably sore. Even lying still all her muscles were low-key protesting for her to stop whatever it was she was doing. Which was, precisely, nothing. She just lay there, breathing, but that was unpleasant enough. A moan escaped her before she could stop it.

  “Welcome back!”

  Kathy came into focus, looking grave but relieved. She had probably been hovering anxiously and was glad to see her finally coming around. Two units of blood hung on an IV stand, as well as saline and a small pouch of platelets. Lea moved her arm. The port in the back of her hand hurt. With the other, she felt her face where something lay against her cheek, itching. Oxygen tubes.

  “What happened?” she croaked.

  “You…” Kathy clearly didn’t want to be the one to tell her. Lea didn’t need her to.

  “I lost the baby.” She felt nothing as she said it.

  Kathy nodded solemnly. “Dr. M. has stopped the bleeding, but he wants the OBGYN to have a look. He’s gone to get them down to admit you.”

  “How did I get here?” Lea looked around her. Something was missing. “I was at Ricco’s house. I was lying down to rest, then I remember nothing.”

  Kathy said tersely, “He called an ambulance.”

  “Ricco did?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Where is he, then?”

  “Not here.” The nurse’s face turned hard.

  “What do you mean?” Lea asked. She had a bad feeling about this. “Kathy, where is he?”

  “Doug is talking to him.”

  “Doug… that cop that keeps hanging around the nurses’ station, flirting with you all?” She felt very cold. “Why?!”

  “Because of what he did to you,” Kathy spat. “That awful—"

  “What do you mean? He didn’t do anything!” Lea shouted over her. She tried to push herself up, but her body wasn’t cooperating.

  “He broke two of your ribs,” Kathy said.

  “What are you talking about? I fell over the cat, on the stairs!”

  “But…” The nurse looked confused.

  “Oh Christ! Kathy, there’s been a mistake.” Lea rubbed her face. “A terrible… he wasn’t even home! Go and tell Doug to lay off him, right now!”

  “But he—”

  “NOW, Kathy!” Lea yelled as loudly as she could. “And bring Ricco here, right away!”

  “Lea!” Ricco rushed across the room but stopped short a few feet from her bed. His eyes were wild, his face white as a sheet. He looked ready to faint.

  Lea pushed herself up. “Oh god, darling! Are you all right?”

  “Oh baby girl.” He swayed.

  Lea gestured to Kathy who lurked by the door. “Get him a chair, will you?”

  Ricco dropped into it the moment Kathy put it down. He was gray and shaking. His eyes fill with tears as he looked her up and down. “Oh baby girl. I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t, Ricco!” she begged. “You didn’t do anything.”

  He clenched and unclenched his hands on the bed, but still he wouldn’t touch her. Lea inserted her hand into his.

  “You didn’t tell me…the baby… were… were you afraid?” Tears threatened to fall from his eyes.

  Lea looked away. Tears pressed on the inside of her own eyelids. “I don’t know… It just never… never seemed the right moment. I really don’t know.”

  “What happened today, babe?” He touched her face hesitantly, and she leaned into the touch.

  Should she tell him about Anna? He’d had enough of a shock. He would take it badly. Lea felt so tired all of a sudden, she could hardly stay awake. “I fell down the stairs. Carl, he… it was dark, and he was lurking, and I nearly stepped on him.”

  “Is that how you broke your ribs? And…and the rest?”

  “Yeah. I tried to avoid him and missed a step." She fought the fatigue trying to pull her under. "Oh, darling I'm so sorry they thought…I told them, the moment I woke up."

  He waved that away. “Doesn’t matter… that stupid cat.”

  “Ricco, it's not his fault." Her heart hurt for him. He looked so worried, so despondent. And he was exhausted like he hadn't slept for days.

  “I know.” Tears rolled down his face. “Oh doc. You didn’t want the baby, did you?” There was sadness in his voice, but no accusation.

  Lea bit her lip. “No,” she whispered. “I didn’t. But I didn’t want this.” Tears ran down her face, too.

  His grief was unstoppable. He put his forehead next to her face and gripped her hand hard. His shoulders shook, but he was silent. Lea stroked his head.

  “Don’t—” His voice broke, and he tried again. “Don’t blame yourself… ‘s okay, not to want kids… we don’t need to have any…changes nothing.”

  Lea felt very cold, except below her bottom. She was bleeding again. She caught Kathy’s eyes. The nurse looked alarmed, but before she could move, Lea shook her head. One moment, she mouthed.

  “Honey, you need to get some rest. Kathy, can you take him to a quiet room?”

  “No,” Ricco said. “I want to stay.”

  Lea shook her head. “Darling, you’ve had a shock, and you’re exhausted. Please, go with Kathy. You can come upstairs when they’re done with me.” She squeezed his hands again.

  Ricco wasn’t ready to give in. “I’m fine, I’ll go get a coffee. I can wait out there until you’re ready upstairs.”

  He stood, but immediately turned gray again and staggered, just about catching himself. Lea made a grab for him, and a sharp pain pierced her side. She pressed a hand against her throbbing ribs, biting back a groan.

  Kathy grabbed Ricco and helped him back into the chair. Lea took his hand again. It was icy cold. “You okay, honey?” Her voice wasn’t too steady, either.

  “Dizzy,” he murmured, pressing a hand against his head.

  “Kathy, find him somewhere to lie down. Give him two point five of Diazepam and some water.” Another gush of blood warmed the bed below her. “Ricco, go with Kathy. Don’t argue. I don’t have the strength for it.” He seemed to know she meant it and followed Kathy without a word.

  Lea closed her eyes. The blood was still pooling beneath her. Where was that gynecologist? And why did she have to solve everyone else’s problems when
she couldn’t even fix herself?

  Why was life so hard?

  12

  “Where d’you think you’re going?” Ricco hurried over as Lea pushed herself up on the sofa.

  “I’m thirsty,” she said.

  “I’ll make you a drink.”

  “And I need a wee.”

  “Then I’ll take you.”

  She looked up, amused, and exasperated at the same time. His expression was anxious and a little impatient. He shook his head. "It's true what they say. Doctors make the worst patients."

  “Oh, all right then,” she said. “Help me, if it makes you happy.”

  “It does.” His expression was serious. “Here, take my arm.”

  Lea let him help her to her feet. She winced. Every movement felt like someone stuck a knife in her repeatedly. But she was bored of lying around. They’d been home only twelve hours, and she was ready to smash things.

  When she was upright she waited with bated breath as the aches and pains settled. Ricco put his arm around her and she leaned into him with a sigh.

  “Okay, baby girl?” he asked.

  “Yeah…let’s move.”

  Ricco took her to the upstairs bathroom, but there she disentangled herself. “I can go pee on my own.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yes!”

  He'd been very tense since bringing her home to the penthouse. He hadn't liked that she discharged herself after only one night. But Lea couldn't stay on the ward a moment more. She'd never view her workplace in the same light again. Being in the hospital as a patient was really, really unpleasant.

  Ricco was there when Lea emerged from the bathroom. She wouldn’t have admitted it, but she was relieved. Just going for a pee was an ordeal. But she was healing okay. There was no more bleeding, and in a day or two most of the discomfort would have disappeared.

  She stepped into Ricco’s arms. She hugged him and nuzzled his neck, and he held her carefully, worried to hurt her ribs. She appreciated the extra gentleness.

  “Wanna lie down again, doc?” he asked after a moment.

  “If I have to,” she sighed. “Can you make me a coffee?”