He heaves out a deep sigh. “I want your trainer gone.”
“I wish it were that easy, Coach.”
When he scowls, it’s easy to picture him as a famous NFL quarterback. The look has me ready to bolt or piss myself, maybe both.
“Spill it. All of it, or you’re off my team.”
He can’t mean it. He’d blow his chances at the championship.
Then, I remember how the guy’s a fucking multimillionaire. While other players squandered their fortunes, his brother invested his paychecks. He doesn’t need this job.
The fact he got his chance and wants to ruin mine pisses me off.
“Why? What’s he to you?”
“My fucking reputation, wise-ass. First, I hear you throw my game, then, this. I don’t need your kind of shit, Farnsworth, no matter how good you think you are.”
All my dreams shatter as I stare at him with my heart hammering. I totally misjudged this guy. A former professional, I figured he’d do whatever it takes to win.
Defeated, I put my head in my hands, and look up. “It started last summer, when my cousin’s dad lost his job…” I take him through my nightmare life, from thinking Egan dead to Chris finding this guy to pay off my debts.
“Why the fuck didn’t you come to me?” His eyes narrow.
“When Chris offered a solution. I thought it would work but please don’t blame him. I was in a real bad place. He was just trying to help.”
He stands. “Jesus lord have mercy you stupid fuck. Listen, my brother’s a lawyer and I got a couple friends who know how to deal with your trainer’s kind of bullshit. But, I’ll have to go to the NFL commission and explain the whole mess. I don’t know what that will do to your chances.”
My eyes actually water and I think I might puke. “I got nothing else to live for, Coach. I’m no good at anything else but football.”
His face softens. “Think I don’t understand, son?”
I nod.
“You can’t start off your life indebted to some crime syndicate. They’ll eat you alive. Own you forever. I got plenty of people who owe me favors and a lot will appreciate how you came clean. Understand?”
“Yes sir.” I stand. “We done?”
“Give me your cell phone.” His palm goes up and I reach into my back pocket and hand it over.
“The spare, too.”
Shit. Who the hell’s he been talking to? I dig into my overnight bag and hand over the cheap flip phone.
“Excellent. You’re on probation. One mistake, one missed curfew, and you’re out.”
“Yeah, Coach. Listen, I’m really sorry…”
“Save it. Just go out and do what you do best. You’re going to have to shine to make a team think you’re worthy. Are you checked in?”
I show him my keycard. “Good. Get some sleep.”
I’m sharing a room with Ryan and take a long shower so he can finish up talking to his girl. Apparently, coach didn’t confiscate his burner but then again, my pal isn’t on his shit list.
When he hangs up, I settle onto the other double bed. “How’s Kira doing?”
He shares this crazy story how her ex showed up for the holiday and by the time he finishes, I’m laughing with him.
I share Star’s cat and the cranberries fiasco.
Grinning, he sighs and lays back on his bed. “It sucks, you know? We barely get to see them.”
“Is Kira okay with that?”
“Funny, more than I am. How about Pinky?” He turns onto his side, head in hand while I examine my sneakers.
“Fuck, dude. She said she loved me.”
“Did y’all say it back?” His urgent tone turns the knife already stuck in my gut.
“No. It was like, love you, bye, then dial tone.” I slide under the covers and close my eyes as if to shut out my fucked up life. I finally get the girl but without football, how the hell will I be deserving?
I sleep like shit and for the first time in my life, worry about making the drafts. I picture myself living back at home, maybe making a few bucks here and there. Perhaps my dad will help me get a job with the city, doing some shit for minimum wage.
Some of my self-help audio books play out in my head. You become what you think about all day long. If I think the worst, I’m sure to make it come true.
Damn. I need to stop thinking like a loser. However, when I step out onto the field, my bad luck travels with me and despite a couple fucking awesome catches, we lose the game by one lousy point.
We shake hands with the deliriously happy opposition and no one says much in the locker room. Even less when coach points out all our mistakes in the game’s post mortem.
On the way back home, Coach waves me forward to sit beside him on the plane. “Good game.”
“But we lost.”
“Sometimes it’s how you play the game that counts. You guys fought until the very last second. You almost made the final goal. It’s heart and soul the scouts are looking for. And the other issue we talked about? Consider it taken care of.”
“But I owed him-”
“Got it.”
“My cousin-”
“Taken care of.”
My eyes sting and the noose around my neck since last summer loosens. Hell, I don’t even know what the fuck to say and even if I could, my throat’s full of junk, making it impossible to speak.
Nodding, I hold out my hand and he shakes it firmly.
“I won’t let you down, Coach.”
“Never thought you would. I don’t think you’ve ever let anyone down in your life.” He hands me back my phone. “Might want to call her when we land.”
I grin, thinking how happy she’ll be when I tell her James is toast. “Thanks, for everything. I’ll pay you back.”
“You pay it back by paying it forward. Someday, when you’re about my age, you’re going to meet the spitting image of yourself. Help him out and tell him to do the same.”
He points to my seat. “Go on, get out of here, and send Ryan over.”
I squeeze my way back down the plane’s narrow aisle and punch my pal on the shoulder. “Coach wants a word.”
“You okay?”
“Yeah. He, ah… fixed everything.”
“Shit.” His eyes widen. “How the fuck?”
“Hell if I know. I’m guessing he must hang with some scary-ass dudes.”
Chapter 25
Star
I watch the Miami game from my hotel room in Burlington as snow spits from the sky. I ordered a pepperoni pizza along with a bottle of diet orange soda. The last few minutes, my heart is in my throat as Jackson jumps impossibly high to catch the ball near the end zone but it’s too late. The clock runs out and they lose.
I wait for his call and when it doesn’t come, I think back to what I said before I hung up. I have no idea what came over me. The words blurted out of their own accord. I sure as hell didn’t mean for the ‘L’ word to come out.
My subconscious mind is a fucking nightmare. Once those words are said, there’s no taking them back, not that I want to. My timing was all off, that’s all. Maybe, because of them, he lost the game. Shit. I don’t want to be responsible for that, either.
When I don’t hear back from him by midnight, I turn off my light, pull the comforter over my head, and sleep.
The next morning, a few inches of snow covers the parking lot, and I check the weather. My flight’s delayed so I got a few hours to spare. I pack my bags, slip into a sweater and jeans, and call an Uber. In the backseat, my phone rings and it’s him.
My heart leaps. Thank God I didn’t scare him off. “Hey Jacks. Sorry about the game.”
“We’re still in the running for the championship.”
“Good, good.”
“I have some good news. James is gone.”
“Wow.” I did not expect that. “How?”
“Coach. He found out. I’m on probation but he’s taking care of everything but there’s like one big stipulation. I got to come clean
with the NFL commission. Explain everything.”
“Oh my God. Are you out of the running?”
“I’m not sure. He says he knows people and my motivations were good but still… I fucked up big time… I’m not sure.” His voice hitches. “I got nothing else to give you, luv. If I’m not playing football, I don’t know what else I can do.”
My heart bleeds for him. “Whatever happens, we’ll figure it out. Okay? After I get my degree, I’ll have a good salary. We’ll be fine.”
“Yeah, I’ll pick up the kids, make dinner, and keep house. I’ll make a perfect soccer mom.” The sarcasm stings.
“You’re putting words in my mouth. I was trying to say-”
“You’ll take care of me. Not sure I can handle your idea of our future, Star.”
“What if the roles were reversed? What if I quit school and relied on you to take care of me?”
“It’s not the same and you know it.” When his volume raises, I realize we shouldn’t be having this conversation over the phone.
“How about we talk when you land?”
“Fuck. One other thing. I’m on walking on thin ice. I need to get caught up on my schoolwork, toe the line, and make no mistakes.”
It’s hard not to be insulted. Is that what I am now, a mistake? Still, I bite my tongue. If we’re going to make it to spring, I need to learn to let him vent.
“I understand.” My tone is a lot colder than I intended.
“Ah, shit, Star. Sorry. It’s been a pretty crappy couple of days. Don’t be mad.”
“I’m not, just disappointed. I was looking forward to being with you.”
“Me too. How about we have coffee after morning practice?”
“No, I got class. Lunch?”
“English tutor.”
“Shit. How about after dinner?”
“Practice. After that?” He clips his words, voice tight.
“I’ll be asleep.”
“Do you have any free time this week?”
“Sunday morning… ah, but um, “
“What?”
“I go to church.” I hope he doesn’t hold it against me. Not many people know I attend St. Paul’s mass every Sunday.
“Wow. Okay. Brunch?”
“Sure. Sounds good, bye.” I hang up quick.
No doubt we’re both aware of the ‘L’ word I left unsaid.
The week flies by. Despite our schedules, we find time to text.
Jacks: Mom says she can’t wait to meet U
Me: Can’t wait for Xmas
Jacks: Me 2 How r things with your rents
Me: Mom in rehab
Jacks: Good?
Me: Same ‘ol
Jacks: Sorry
Me: TY
Jacks: Love you.
Holy shit! My hands shake.
Me: U 2
Oh my God.
I always figured he’d say it the first time during heated sex, about to orgasm, not in a freakin’ text message.
After lunch, he’s waiting for me in the parking lot, shivering as a cold rain falls. I take his hand and walk with him under my umbrella. He holds it over my head and wraps me tightly to his body. When we’re back on campus, his lips dip down to mine and we kiss.
“Damn, girl, I’ve missed you.”
“I missed you, too.”
“Your place or mine?”
“Kira and Gillian are both home, studying…”
“Well, that won’t do. I intend to make you scream, bang the headboard, shout out your name as I cum inside you.”
Laughing, I punch his arm. “I guess you can cross off your dorm, too.”
“Want to take a ride? Ryan let me borrow his car.” He grins and holds up a key as I lift my lips to his, anticipation growing.
“Let’s go.”
It seems like ages since we last made love and in a way, it has. As he drives out into the country, I put my hand on his knee, and wonder about us.
I no longer fear he’ll dump me in the spring but my new worries are far worse. If he doesn’t make the draft, what will happen? I haven’t dared ask, not since the whole house-husband fiasco.
What if I end up making a lot more money than him? How will he handle me being the bread winner? Probably not good, which doesn’t bode well for our future, even if he makes the drafts. The last few weeks I started researching the average NFL career and if blew my mind.
He’ll get a few million for a couple years, if he’s lucky. If not, far less. After that, most end up divorced, miserable, and penniless.
I emailed a group who helps retired players find jobs. It’s scary. Without a college degree, they’re pretty much like anyone else, completely fucked. The successful ones start their own companies with seed money from their career.
I need to find something Jackson loves besides sex and football.
His dark eyes glance off the road for a second, searing me with heat and increasing my resolve. When you love someone as much as I do, you don’t let go. You do whatever it takes.
He pulls the car onto a small dirt road that climbs behind a field of tall grasses gone to seed. The sky overhead is dark and rain pounds down on the hood, cradling us in a foggy mist.
Despite his size, he climbs over the stick shift and places one knee on either side of my thighs Hands in my hair, his mouth clamps down on mine, igniting the embers of our lust.
“Fuck, I’ve missed you.” He pants, the dark centers of his eyes almost covering the brown.
My fingers pull at the hem of his t-shirt, longing to touch the washboard of muscles. I need to feel the strength in his back and touch the arrow of curly hair leading to what I crave most.
He pulls my stretchy top over my head and he sucks in his breath as if seeing me for the first time. His muscles flex, he pulls on a lever, and the seat slides back.
I laugh when he reaches for the other lever and we clunk to the horizontal position. Quickly, I tug off my bra, longing to be skin to skin, chest to chest, beating heart to beating heart. On top, I caress his naked skin with my hardening nipples while his hands run up and down my back.
On elbows and knees, I stop and cup his soft, bearded cheeks. His brows crease in that familiar lusty way but deep in the dark pools of his eyes, I sense something new. I stare for the longest time, as if exploring a masterpiece on a museum wall. If asked, I couldn’t explain what I’m thinking. All I know is I can’t pull my gaze away.
“Jackson…” I want to tell him how much I care but I-love-you seems overused, trite even.
His eyes drift off from mine to my parted lips. So, this is the difference between lust and love. It’s immense and overwhelming. It’s not a crashing wave, rather a tsunami that changes everything forever.
I lean in, nibble his lower lip, and kiss him with the ferocity of feelings I could never put into words. His tongue slips into my mouth and I open, my thighs instinctively doing the same.
Groaning he arches up while his tongue moves in and out. His hands slide under my armpits and he pulls me along his body, He kisses my chin, my neck and my collar bone. When he reaches the extended nipple, he sucks and I gasp.
Holding my sides tight with his thumbs turned in, he worships my breast with his mouth. When done, he does the same to the other side while I squirm against his hard want.
My hands can only reach his hair, so I thread the silkiness through my fingers while he enjoys my body, setting me on fire.
With a groan, he flips us and slides my yoga pants off with my thong. He kicks off his sneakers and his pants follow. Wearing no underwear, his cock jumps to full attention at my abs. I reach my hand to grab my favorite toy but he pushes it away.
“Too close, sweetheart. I’m ready to explode.”
His confession causes my clit to swell and I open my legs wider. He places himself at my slick opening and moans.
Then, with a finger on my nub, he enters me. My muscles clench at his huge size so he pauses and pinches my sensitive spot until everything lets go and he slides in
fully. Shaking, he pulls out an inch and bites the tip of my nose.
“Open your eyes. I want to see you when you cum.”
He stares so intensely, more liquid pools around him.
Our dance starts out slow but bucking underneath, I urge him on. Drops of sweat drip off his chest as he tries to stay in control but I want him wild and reckless.
“Move.”
He gives a little nod and thrusts. “Okay?”
“More.” I arch up.
As if flipping a switch, he speeds until I’m at the edge of this giant cliff but can’t quite let go. The looming orgasm is a greedy bitch. She wants more and every time he crashes into me, I try to give it to her.
Suddenly, he swells, puts a finger to my bud, and when I go off, he cums, too. Crazed with sex hormones, we take our high, feeding off each other’s screams. The afterglow lasts forever, his heart beating as hard as mine while outside, thunder rumbles.
When I come to, the windows of the car are still steamed and outside, lightning flashes. I have no idea where we are or what time it is, just that I’ve never felt happier.
“I love you.” This time, it feels right to say it.
He smiles and kisses me. “I love you, too.”
Sighing, he rolls onto his side, taking his weight off me. Not much room, my upper leg slides between his as we squeeze together on the passenger seat.
His cock stirs at my belly and I laugh. “Seriously?”
“Mmm.” A chuckle and a warm breath caress my ear. “I would, but we got practice in an hour.”
He kisses me, cracks open the door, and pulls me out into the downpour.
“Whaaaat?” I scream but he holds me out there until cool rain water cleans our sweaty, naked bodies.
Still laughing, he pulls me to the trunk, opens it, and grabs a towel before letting me go. I dash back into the car while he follows and starts the car.
After drying myself, I hand him the towel, then we dress. As he drives, I stare, memorizing this moment forever. It’s funny how the magic between us lingers. I guess maybe that’s part of being in love. I have no idea. This is all new ground for me.
The next three weeks go by in a blur. I buy presents for my family online and have them shipped so they’ll be there in time for Christmas. My dad is pissed but he’s trying to sound like he’s not and my sister, Stephanie? She’s in rare form. She’s started sending me emails in capital letters and huge red font. According to her, I’m a selfish, uncaring, bitch and should quit school to come home and take care of Dad who’s wasting away.
Red Flag (FSCU Pitbulls Book 2) Page 12
