Protected by the Damned Boxed Set 1: A Supernatural Action Adventure Opera

by Michael Todd

  He has no idea who he is messing with. Pandora snickered. I give him a month, only because he’s hard-headed.

  Wait, what? Katie replied, looking around. Okay, what the hell is going on?

  Seriously, this place is like its own soap opera, Pandora replied.

  A paranormal soap opera? Katie corrected.

  Yeah, that, Pandora agreed.

  So, you aren’t going to tell me?

  You’ll figure it out eventually. Pandora giggled. Now let’s go to dinner. I’m freaking starving, and I think going to Bootlegger is a perfect idea.

  How did you…

  I’m in your head, remember? Pandora pointed out. And now that I know, you can’t take it back. I already have a hankering for ravioli and steak.

  I decided on it for you anyway. Katie sighed. Figured you were right; you deserve a day here and there to eat what you want.

  Aw, she really does care, Pandora cooed.

  BUT! I am not getting as much as last time, and you cannot have one day every week, Katie warned. And you better turn it into muscle—and muscle I can actually use.

  Why would I ever betray your trust when you are feeding me delicious food?

  Were you like this when you were here outside of a body? Katie asked, climbing into the SUV. I mean, were you obsessed with food?

  It has been a long time since I walked on this plane, Pandora explained. Last time I was here, there was no food like this. I mean, there were restaurants, but they were dusty, and no one ever cooked food like that.

  That’s right, that’s why you used that Italian woman, Katie said, rolling her eyes. I guess it would be exciting if you had never experienced it before, but still… You have got to go easy on me tonight.

  Katie drove out of the garage in the huge SUV and turned down the sand-covered drive to the main highway.

  She sighed as she drove along, thinking about her tiny Altima from college. She missed having a car, and definitely missed the freedom of going anywhere she wanted to, even though she rarely did that.

  Knowing that she had wasted all that time in college when she could have been seeing the world made her mad, but at the same time, had she done that she wouldn’t have ended up where she was. She wasn’t sure what was worse: being a broke wandering hippy, or being a badass demon slayer.

  Both had their negatives, but she could see a few positives to her place in Korbin’s Killers for the first time since she had arrived.

  At least she hadn’t ended up with a lazy-ass demon like some of the others—though she was jealous of the fact that there was quiet in their lives.

  You have quiet too! Pandora exclaimed.

  God, get out of my head. Katie groaned. Can I not be alone in here for five minutes?

  Hey, it’s not like I enjoy being in here with all your melodrama and “woe is me” bullshit, she said. But you’re fucking loud, and I can’t tune it out.

  Well, sorry, but there is nothing I can do about that, Katie said. Just be glad you aren’t in the priest’s head.

  Oh, lord…the prayers, Pandora griped. I would definitely beg for exorcism. Even torture would be better than hearing prayers all day every day.

  See, things could be worse! Katie replied. Shut up about my thoughts, for God’s sake. I’m just glad I don’t have to hear yours.

  You would exorcise yourself, Pandora quipped.

  Katie pulled up to Bootlegger and parked the car.

  Then she sat there for a moment thinking about what she was about to get herself into. Surely, they thought she was a freak for eating all that food, but that didn’t bother her as much as her lack of self-control when Pandora got rid of the full feeling.

  All right, we’re here. Katie sighed. Remember what I said…we are not gorging ourselves like last time.

  Mmmhmm, Pandora agreed, her insubstantial fingers crossed behind her back.

  I mean it! Katie put her foot down…metaphorically.

  The only problem was, Pandora didn’t give a shit.

  Chapter Three

  Damian whistled as he walked down the hall with his hands in his pockets.

  He had some sermons to take care of and some praying to do, then some business to take care of. He wasn’t in any rush, though. It was the weekend; the house was quiet, the sun was shining, and he had been listening to Tony Bennett in his room all morning while getting ready.

  It was one of those days where he couldn’t seriously put a lot of effort into anything, but that was okay. He was ready to relax a bit.

  As he passed Katie’s room, he smiled and stopped for a moment when he again heard moaning coming from the other side of the door.

  He reached up to knock but stopped short, thinking about the last time he had heard her in there.

  This was the same exact miserable moan as before.

  He put his hand back in his pocket and turned to walk away, then stopped again. He laughed to himself, picturing her in there with a huge stomach, rolling around on the bed in misery. She didn’t seem to learn her lessons very well, and it made him wonder what she had been like as a kid.

  He bet she had stuck her hand on the stove at least twice when she was little. He shook his head and turned back to the door, reaching up and knocking lightly on it. He stood back and waited for her to answer, but all he heard was a loud groan.

  He laughed again, but covered his mouth with his fist to stifle the sound.

  “Did you go out to eat last night?” he yelled through the door.

  He already knew the answer, and he could guess where she had gone since she had announced she was leaving before she went. He couldn’t help but tease her, though.

  Anyone who would do that to herself twice deserved for him to pick at her at least a little bit. He felt like Katie was a little sister, and what did big brothers do best?

  They picked on their little sisters, and tormented them until they were completely embarrassed. He was definitely up to that.

  “Bootlegger…” she groaned in response. “You fuckers…”

  Damian laughed loudly when he heard more moans.

  He had been spot-on. He stood there for a moment, contemplating what to say next. After a few minutes, he cleared his throat and spoke loudly.

  ‘I’ll come back later. I don’t need to see what a beached whale looks like a second time.”

  He jumped slightly when something heavy hit the door and snickered, knowing she had picked up whatever was closest and thrown it.

  He walked away, knowing that he had tormented her enough, and went into the living room. Eric was the only one there. “Hey, Eric.”

  Eric smiled. “Hey. Is Katie up?”

  “Uh, yeah, but I think you probably would do better leaving her alone for now.” Damian chuckled.

  “Why?” Eric asked, confused.

  “She ate an entire cow last night. She won’t be rolling out for a while.”

  “All right,” Eric said slowly. “It doesn’t seem like she is going to learn her lesson.”

  “No, no I don’t think she will.”

  “What are you doing today?” Eric asked.

  “Just enjoying the day.” Damian wiped a hand over his chin. “I think I’ll go for a walk.”

  “Okay,” Eric said, furrowing his brow. “I still can’t get past how weird everyone is here.”

  “Get used to it. It only gets stranger.” Damian turned toward the stairs and waved over his shoulder.

  Eric watched Damian disappear down the stairs, sighing as the door shut behind him. He was the only one left, and he wasn’t sure what to do with his free time.

  He was still used to the outside world, but his free time there had been only half-free. He shrugged his shoulders and got up from the chair, walking toward Katie’s room.

  How bad could it be, right? He figured Damian had overplayed her distress. He went to her door and knocked, then stood back and waited for her friendly hello.

  All he heard was a loud bang on the door, and her groaning like a monster inside.
Eric jumped back and looked around before taking off down the hall back to the living room.

  Apparently Damian had understated what was going on. There was no way he was going to bother whatever creature was behind that door.

  Katie laid on the bed, rubbing her hand in circles over her stomach. She had a very large food baby in there; she was pretty sure this one was bigger than the first time.

  She wasn’t sure how it could possibly be worse, but she was willing to bet serious money it was, dammit, and she regretted every glorious moment of it.

  Even Pandora had been oddly quiet that morning, not feeling too hot herself even though none of that food had gone into her stomach.

  It serves you right, Katie groaned. I told you no, but you kept pushing. You made me feel terribly guilty.

  Don’t blame me, witch. Pandora retorted. You are a person too. You have the ability to tell me no and actually follow through with it. The truth was, you didn’t want to stop. You liked fulfilling your cravings—eating sugar and carbs and fat without having to worry about it. I can only spike your metabolism so high. At this point you are just going to have to wait it out.

  Can you at least help me nap through it? Katie sniveled.

  Sure, why not? Pandora replied. I could make you suffer—which is my specialty—but I am tired of hearing you complain. It is causing me to suffer, not something I am particularly fond of. You yes, me no.

  Gee, thanks, I… Katie passed out.

  You said you wanted to sleep. Pandora chuckled, yawning herself.

  Katie was out, probably sleeping more deeply than she had most nights recently. Hell, this was probably even better than the time they had given her a sedative before taking out her tonsils when she was eight.

  She didn’t move a muscle, not even to turn on her side. Her head was tilted back and her mouth was open, and the sound of her snoring filled the room.

  After a few minutes of trying to rest, Pandora had enough and forced her body over onto her side. She laid like that for several hours, not dreaming or restless, just letting her body work through the disgusting place she was in.

  When she did finally wake up, she looked over sleepily at the clock. It was early afternoon.

  Katie sat up in the bed and yawned, stretching her arms high over her head. She felt much better than she had before. She rolled over to get a little circulation in her limbs, then stood up. She grabbed a change of clothes, brushed her teeth, and walked back out of the bathroom in a wonderfully rested state.

  Her demon was better than sleeping pills.

  Wake up, she said to Pandora.

  Why? Pandora groaned.

  Because you and I have somewhere to go, Katie told her.

  Donuts? Pandora asked with enthusiasm.

  Uh, no, Katie said. We are good on food at this point, thanks.

  Then what the hell can be important enough to wake me up? she asked.

  We are going car shopping! Katie said excitedly.

  Really? Pandora asked, her voice now fully awake. Yes!

  I know exactly where I want to go first.

  Porsche? Pandora asked interestedly.

  Precisely, Katie replied.

  Now there is sex on four wheels.

  Katie snuck out of the house before anyone caught her and grabbed the third SUV down in the row.

  Almost everyone was gone from the house that day, which made her secret mission that much easier.

  She wasn’t sure if what she was doing was allowed, but she figured that after going through all the trouble of getting a fake identity, she would rather apologize than ask permission.

  She headed to Redwood Drive, where the Porsche dealership was located. Katie didn’t know a bunch about cars, but there was a black car on display that she had seen a million times and wanted to know more about.

  When she pulled up a salesman greeted her in his very expensive suit, perfect hair, and gentle voice.

  “How can we help you today?” he asked.

  “I was wondering, what is that car you have on display?” Katie asked, aware that perhaps she hadn’t dressed appropriately for going expensive car shopping.

  “Well, that is one of my favorites. That is the 2015 918 Spyder Hybrid,” he replied. “They stopped making them after that year, but I think it should be a staple.”

  “Very beautiful,” she said. “How much is it?”

  “That particular model comes with all the bells and whistles 2015 offered.” He smiled. “We are selling it at nine hundred thousand, which is fifty above the base model cost.”

  She had definitely not dressed up enough.

  “Wow!” Katie exclaimed, trying not to show her shock. “May I take a look at it?”

  “Of course,” he said. “Let us know if you need any help.”

  Katie smiled. “Thank you.”

  She walked over to the car and let out a deep sigh; it was exactly what she had imagined driving around the city. It was sleek and glittery black, and looked almost like something Batman would drive around Gotham. Vegas was her Gotham, but a car like that was a bit more than what she was looking for pricewise.

  This is amazing, Pandora gushed. My lips are wet already.

  I don’t want to know what you mean by that, Katie told her. But I do know that it’s too expensive for me. We have a business to run.

  Your business will be fine. Pandora scoffed. We should be treating ourselves, lest we die tomorrow.

  Is that what all your ridiculous choices come from? The fear you will be back in hell any day? Katie asked.

  Pandora sniffed. No, that’s just the donuts.

  No, Katie said firmly. This is too much. Let’s move on.

  Finnnnne. Pandora griped. I would have orgasmed every time we drove that car.

  Katie jumped back in the SUV and headed to West Sahara Avenue to check out the Aston Martin dealership.

  She had seen a Vanquish one time at a car show in Las Vegas and had loved the look of the car ever since.

  She hadn’t checked on it in a long time, though, so she had no real idea how much it cost or if they even made it anymore—but she was dead-set on finding out.

  When they pulled up, she spotted a full row of them in almost every color offered. She had gotten out of the car and started to walk over to them when a salesman approached her.

  “Good afternoon.” He smiled. “How can I help you today?”

  “I just came to see how deep your Vanquish selection was.” Katie returned his smile.

  He waved to the row of cars. “Well, as you can see, we have a nice selection right now. Or, we can order one to your specifications if we don’t have what you want in stock.” He glanced at her clothes. “You can also check out our used car area, where there are some older versions.”

  “Gotcha.” Katie nodded. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to just walk around.

  “Absolutely. Let us know if you need anything.” He smiled again before going back into the dealership office.

  Katie wandered over to the black one at the end of the row and peeked inside. It had a leather interior, manual transmission, beautiful mahogany accents, and a dashboard she imagined lit up like you were in a spaceship. She walked around the other side and looked at the price point on the window.

  She swallowed hard when she read the three-hundred-thousand-dollar price tag.

  How about this beauty? Pandora asked. Huh? You know you want to take it home right now.

  It’s still too much, she declared. I could buy a house or two for that amount. I just can’t stomach that price for a car.

  You are seriously cramping my car style here, Pandora chided. I mean, what the hell? I know you have twice that much in your drawer at home.

  That isn’t the point, Katie told her.

  What is the point, then? Pandora asked as Katie made her way back to the SUV.

  The point is, no matter how rich I am, I can’t handle paying that much for a car, Katie replied. I’d rather send my mom the majority of it and drive a
dang Toyota.

  Don’t even say that, Pandora gasped. You are going to hurt my fragile sensibilities.

  You will survive, Katie grumped. I’m not done yet, don’t worry. I am going to find the car I want and feel comfortable paying for.

  You mean you are going to be boring and buy a minivan, Pandora grunted.

  What the hell would I do with a minivan? Katie laughed. I would much rather get like a Jeep SUV of some sort.

  Oh, God, Pandora moaned. I am stuck in car buyer hell with uptight panty girl who wants to buy a car a soccer mom would haul around her five kids in.

  No kids for me, obviously. She sighed. And I’m not going to buy one, I’m just saying I’d rather have that than a minivan.

  Shit, I’d rather have a clown car than a minivan, Pandora exclaimed. This is the first century that I will be able to have a car, and I can’t even get you to shell out enough to make it a good one.

  You are being impossible, Katie scolded, pulling out of the parking lot. I have a plan, so you need to just sit back and relax. You are driving me crazy already.

  At least I’m driving in style, she grumped. Get it? DRIVING in style. No? Never mind.

  That was a terrible joke, Katie replied. Like…terrible.

  Yeah, well, you have taken my spunk away, she said, pouting like a child.

  I am just going to go home if you don’t lay off, Katie warned. We can continue driving the super-secret-looking blacked-out SUV.

  No. Pandora sighed. I’ll behave, but you better have a good plan. Leaving those two cars behind was just crazy. Why did you go top-of-the-line first? Seriously, are you just doing a reverse temptation on me? Because, if you are, it sucks. Not that it wouldn’t impress the hell out of me that you are learning how to be a bitch, but I’ll certainly torture your titties to extinction if I find out that’s true.

  I have a good plan, she argued, ignoring the rest of Pandora’s rant. Just wait and see.

  Katie sure hoped Dealer Number Three was a hit.