The Crush

by Ward , Penelope

  “Could’ve been worse, right? I could have been, like, smelling your underwear or something. I’m not that weird.” I snorted and closed my eyes in shame.

  “Well, thank fuck for that.” After an awkward pause, he said, “I’ll…let you get back to what you were doing—whatever it was.”

  Saluting him, I smiled. “Thanks.”

  After he left, I turned around and let out a silent scream of horror.

  Once I put my load in the washer, I decided to take a walk around the block to burn off some nervous energy and avoid having to face him inside so soon. The more time that passed the better.

  After I circled the block, I headed toward my yard, planning to pick an avocado off our tree. As I passed the side of the house, I spotted Jace through his bedroom window. Sweat glistened on his back as he pumped iron. Since he wasn’t facing me, I took a few moments to admire his physique. Gorgeous ripples of carved muscle. Round, hard ass. Perfectly tanned skin. Jace had always had a nice body, but at twenty-seven, he was in the best shape of his life.

  A rush of water suddenly emerged from under my feet. If only the shock hadn’t caused me to scream. If only. If only Jace hadn’t turned around to find me standing there, looking like an idiot—a drenched idiot who didn’t even realize Nathan had installed a new sprinkler on this side of our grass.

  Jace rushed to the window and opened it. “What the hell are you doing? Are you wet?”

  Um… Not even going to go there with that.

  Covering my soaked chest, I said, “It’s so…hot today. I thought I’d let the water run over me for a bit.”

  “I thought I heard you scream.”

  “Wasn’t expecting it to be so cold.”

  He squinted. “Are you okay, Farrah? You seem off today.”

  “Yes, of course I’m okay.” I laughed nervously when he continued to look at me. “I’m fine. I swear.”

  “You know you can tell me if something is up, right?”

  “Yup.” I nodded vigorously.

  “Okay.” His eyes lingered for a moment. Then he shut the window and went back to his weights.

  Is 4PM too early for vodka?

  • • •

  The following evening, Nathan and I had scheduled a family movie night. He’d somehow guilted Jace into staying in and joining us. Our one must-have on movie night was ice cream, and since my car was still at Rusty’s, and Nathan was still at work, Jace drove me to the market to buy some.

  The ride to the grocery store was a bit tense. I assumed maybe Jace was quiet because he might’ve still been thinking about me sniffing his shirt, or the sprinkler incident outside his window yesterday. Maybe I assumed that because getting caught twice in the act of stupidity was all I could think about.

  When we got to the supermarket’s freezer aisle, I grabbed a container of Rocky Road and sniffed it. You know…to throw him off.

  A look of horror crossed Jace’s face. “You’re doing it again.”

  “You caught me. See? Told you I like to sniff things,” I lied. “If you breathe in hard enough, you can get a feel for the taste.”

  He shook his head and laughed. “It’s you, isn’t it?”

  “What’s me?”

  “That person captured on store camera footage, opening up the ice cream containers, tasting what’s inside, and putting them back. They’re looking for you, you know.”

  “Guilty,” I joked. “Actually, I think that’s super gross. I would never do that.”

  I continued to pick through the containers, sniffing the various flavors like an idiot. “I’m sorry if I’m taking a long time,” I said. “This is always a big decision for me.”

  After several more minutes, Jace reached over me. “I’m gonna put you out of your misery.” A waft of his scent dominated anything else I might have been pretending to smell. “There is no flavor better than cookie dough.” He tossed a container into the cart. “Done.”

  “I beg to differ, but okay. If you feel that strongly, we’ll go with that.”

  We went to the register, and the cashier’s eyes danced over Jace. That was a typical reaction. Younger girls and older women alike constantly checked him out. It was funny, because people very likely assumed I was his girlfriend. That certainly didn’t stop them from looking.

  Before we left, I gave the cashier a sly grin that said, yeah, look what’s mine and not yours. Even if that was the furthest thing from the truth, it gave me a sense of pleasure.

  We hopped back inside Jace’s truck, which once again smelled divine.

  “Put your seatbelt on.”

  I’d been too busy staring at his big hands as they wrapped around the steering wheel.

  “Thanks for the reminder.”

  “Why do I always have to remind you? It should be second nature.”

  Because you distract me. “Sorry, bossy. I’ll try to remember next time.” I clicked the belt in place and settled in. “Oh, I forgot to tell you someone came by for you today.”

  He headed out of the parking lot. “Who?”

  “His name was James…Moore? He said he would text you, so I assume you spoke to him?”

  He raised his tone. “James Moore?”

  “Yeah. He didn’t seem too friendly, either.”

  Jace banged on the steering wheel. “Fuck. He’s looking for money the company owes him for a paving job he did for us. He has no patience. He had no business coming to the house.”

  “It was no big deal. I told him you weren’t home, and he left right away.”

  “I don’t like the idea of him coming in contact with you. The same goes for a lot of the guys who do work for us. What were you doing opening the door anyway?”

  Jace was probably right to be a little alarmed, but this felt like an overreaction. “It’s my house. Why wouldn’t I open the door? It’s not like I’m a child home alone after school.”

  “No, but you’re an attractive woman who could set off the wrong kind of guy, someone who’s looking for revenge. You wouldn’t be able to fend him off. This has nothing to do with age. I don’t care how old you are. You should never open the door to talk to anyone if you’re alone.”

  Attractive woman.

  He called me an attractive woman, and I basically heard nothing after that. This was the first indication he’d ever given that he felt I was attractive.

  “I’ll try to be more careful.”

  “You need to, Farrah. There are a lot of bad people in this world. If someone comes to the door and you don’t recognize them, let them leave. There’s nothing important enough to risk your safety.” He let out an exasperated breath. “I don’t even know how the fuck he got our address. I don’t list it anywhere.”

  Jace continued swearing under his breath.

  “You made your point. I won’t answer the door when I’m alone unless it’s a Girl Scout selling cookies or something.”

  “I would never forgive myself if something happened to you,” he mumbled.

  I felt those words deep in my heart.

  • • •

  “What did we finally settle on?” I asked.

  Nathan was using my phone to peruse the movie options for tonight. “It’s a toss-up between the Pete Davidson movie or that one with The Rock,” he said before tossing the phone on the counter. “By the way, Farrah, why in God’s name were you Googling ‘vibrating vagina’?”

  My face froze. Shit. I must not have closed out of that window.

  Jace’s eyes widened as he looked up from his laptop.

  Any excuse I could have conjured up probably would have sounded weirder than the truth. So I decided to be honest. “I had a weird symptom this morning. It felt like I had a cell phone going off in my panties—like it was on vibrate. I think it was a muscle twitch. I was worried it was some kind of neurological issue. Apparently, I’m not the only person in the world who’s gotten it. This girl in India posted the same thing.”

  Nathan bent his head back in laughter. “Did you guys agree to call each ot
her sometime?”

  I glared at him.

  He continued to tease, laughing harder. “Seriously, though, when it rings, do you answer it?”

  Jace shook his head. “Leave her alone, jackass. You shouldn’t have been looking at her search history.”

  “I wasn’t expecting to see that shit! It was on the screen when I grabbed the phone to search for a damn movie.”

  “Imagine if she searched your history, all the shit she’d find. And then called you out on it?”

  “That would definitely not be a good thing.” Nathan chuckled.

  Thankfully, Nathan dropped the subject, and I went to busy myself by getting the dessert ready. These past few days had been full of embarrassing moments.

  Opening the container of cookie dough ice cream, I decided to let it sit for a bit so it could soften. After grabbing three bowls, I sifted through the silverware drawer.

  Then the doorbell rang.

  I turned to Nathan. “Are you expecting someone?”

  “It’s Linnea. I invited her to join us,” Jace called, heading to the door.

  My heart sank. Great. Up until now, he hadn’t brought her over to the house. I’d hoped it would stay that way.

  “Did you know he invited her?” I asked.

  “Yeah.” Nathan took one of the spoons and dug into the ice cream. “What’s the big deal? It’s his house, too.”

  “This is a family thing. I don’t like letting strangers join.”

  “Well, she’s hardly a stranger to him.” He wriggled his brows.

  I couldn’t roll my eyes back far enough.

  A few seconds later, Jace and Linnea entered the kitchen.

  “Linnea, you’ve met Nathan once before, but I don’t think you know his little sister, Farrah.”

  Ouch.

  Little sister.

  Bite me.

  She looked me up and down and flicked her red hair off her shoulder. “Nice to meet you. Farrah’s such a pretty name. Your mother must have liked Charlie’s Angels.”

  “Why?”

  “Farrah…Fawcett? The actress? She was one of Charlie’s Angels. It was a TV show years back. She’s iconic. She’s dead now, unfortunately.”

  “Oh.” I knew about the actress. I also knew my mother thought of her when naming me. But I’d forgotten the name of the show she was on.

  Jace flashed a mischievous smile. “My dad used to have a vintage poster of Farrah Fawcett hanging in our garage. It was definitely one of my first pieces of…material.”

  Material? It took me a few seconds. Oh.

  And now I was jealous of a dead actress because Jace had whacked off to her picture?

  “I remember that poster!” Nathan laughed. “She was so hot.”

  “That time we met before, Nathan,” Linnea said, “I don’t think I realized you and Jace grew up together.”

  Nathan sighed exaggeratedly. “Yeah. I’ve been stuck with this guy my entire life.”

  “That’s so great. It’s rare to have long-lasting friendships.” She turned to me. “You’re a lot younger than they are, right? Are you in high school?”

  No, she didn’t.

  Jace chuckled under his breath.

  “High school? No. I’m twenty-one.”

  “Oh. Sorry. My bad. You look younger.”

  So much for dressing provocatively to appear older. But it seemed this chick was looking for ways to insult me.

  “And are you thirty?” I asked, tilting my head to the side.

  Her expression dampened. “Twenty-six.”

  “Ah.”

  Jace disappeared into the bathroom off the kitchen, leaving Nathan and me alone with Linnea.

  She took a seat on one of the stools by the small center island. “Do you go to college around here?”

  It really wasn’t any of her business, but I explained anyway. “I took classes at Palm Creek Community College for a while, but I’m taking a break at the moment. Hoping to enroll somewhere next year. I don’t want to waste time until I’m sure what I want to major in. Leaning toward education.”

  “You should teach English,” Jace said from behind me as he emerged from the bathroom.

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Because you said you like to write. Might be a subject you’d enjoy teaching.”

  I nodded. “It’s definitely on my short list. Although, if I’m going to teach someday, I guess I’d better get over my fear of public speaking.”

  Linnea nodded. “Oh…I hate to get up in front of a crowd.”

  No one asked you, but okay.

  Seeing as though we now had another mouth to feed tonight, I guessed I’d try to be cordial, even if having her here irked me. I walked over to the cabinet. “We’re having ice cream. You want some?”

  “I’d love some,” she answered.

  I almost wished she’d refused “because she was on a diet” so I could hate her even more.

  After distributing an equal amount of cookie dough ice cream into each bowl, I took mine and left the others on the counter.

  I was first to venture into the living room, plopping down on the couch and selecting the video-on-demand options. Nathan sat on the chaise lounge, which meant the only spots for Jace and Linnea were on the couch next to me. I shifted over when they approached. To my delight, Jace sat on the side next to me. Silver lining? At least with three people on the couch, I was forced to sit closer to him than I would have if it were just the two of us.

  We decided on the Pete Davidson movie, and everyone seemed to be into it. It was set in Staten Island, New York. I loved any movie set in or around New York City. One of my dreams had once been to live there, even if just for a couple of years to experience something that was the polar opposite of Florida.

  At one point in the middle of the film, Jace stood up and grabbed Linnea’s empty bowl, piling it atop his. He reached out to me, and I handed him my bowl as well. He was thoughtful like that sometimes. Jace didn’t bother grabbing Nathan’s bowl, though, which was on the floor next to my brother’s feet.

  Jace returned holding two bottles of beer and handed one to Linnea. This time when he sat down, he was much closer to my side than before. In fact, I could practically feel the warmth emanating from his body. The fine blond hairs on my legs stood at attention. If I shifted my thigh just a couple of inches in his direction, my leg would be up against his.

  Then, about a half-hour later, Jace stretched his leg out. His knee now happened to be grazing my thigh. I didn’t dare move. Instead, I enjoyed the feel of his hard knee through the denim of his jeans. This was okay, I told myself, as he was the one who’d shifted in my direction.

  From where she sat on the other side, I wasn’t sure if Linnea had noticed my leg was touching Jace’s. Was it a coincidence when she repositioned her body to be closer to him? Maybe I was ballsier than I thought, because as soon as she did that, I did the same—moved just a hair closer so a bit more of my leg pressed against his. If he hadn’t realized that our legs were touching before, there was no way he didn’t know now. Yet he didn’t shift away from me.

  The fact that he stayed put likely didn’t mean anything. But still. He stayed in the same position for ten whole minutes. Trying to figure out what it meant was likely going to consume me later, but for now, I pretended to watch the movie, pretended like my entire body wasn’t on fire.

  After the movie finished, Jace grabbed his keys. “Ready to leave?”

  Linnea stretched and yawned. “Yup.”

  “You coming back tonight?” Nathan asked.

  “Nah. Probably gonna sleep at her place.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat.

  Linnea said goodbye, but Jace never made eye contact with me before he left. My delusional mind proceeded to create a story in which he felt guilty for enjoying the contact of my leg.

  I guess I should’ve been happy that he went to her place. The last thing I wanted was to hear anything happening in his room. But all night, the memory of Jace’
s leg pressed against mine continued to torment me. And I couldn’t stop thinking about what he might have been doing with Linnea. She got to lie next to him, to be held. As attracted to Jace as I was, if given a choice between getting to have sex with him once or just being held all night, I wasn’t sure which I would choose.

  Okay. Sex would probably win.

  I’d slept with two people in my life, but neither was someone I truly cared about. Maybe that’s why I’d never fantasized about being held by either of them. My first time was with my prom date my junior year of high school. It was a miserable and painful experience, and we never even went out again after that. The second person I slept with was my one and only serious boyfriend, Jordan. We’d broken up a few years ago when he got a scholarship to an out-of-state school. I couldn’t blame him for leaving, but it had hurt all the same.

  My thoughts returned to Jace, and I tossed and turned all night—my body still on fire.

  Chapter 3

  * * *

  Farrah

  The next time I encountered Jace was a few days later. It was still the afternoon, so I was surprised to see him home from work already.

  He had his head in his hands as he stared down at the kitchen table.

  Something is wrong. “Hey,” I said.

  He looked up, his eyes tired. “Hey.”

  I couldn’t remember the last time he’d seemed so down. My heart sank. “Are you okay?”

  He shook his head. “No.”

  I pulled out a chair and sat across from him. “What’s wrong?”

  Jace let out a long, exasperated breath that I felt on my skin from across the table. “It’s work-related.”

  “Well, sometimes talking it through helps.”

  He laughed angrily. “This isn’t a problem that talking is gonna solve, unfortunately.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I need a hundred-thousand dollars. Can we talk our way to that kind of money?”

  My jaw dropped, but I caught myself and closed it, trying not to freak him out even more. “Likely not,” I said.

  He chuckled.