The Crush

by Ward , Penelope

  “Great.” I smiled.

  “When we were swimming…” he said. “It definitely got my mind off things. But as soon as Nathan came home, all the shit in my head started to hit me again.”

  “Nathan is a buzzkill?” I chuckled. “Is that what you’re saying?”

  He laughed. “Basically. It was a nice escape while it lasted.”

  “Are you going to tell Nathan about what’s going on at work?”

  “I will eventually. But I don’t want him to worry. He’s got a lot on his plate now with the job search and all. So, if you don’t mind, don’t mention what I told you about the money. Let me tell him myself, okay?”

  I nodded. “Okay. No worries. I won’t.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Are you…going to Linnea’s tonight?”

  He shook his head. “Nah. I need a break.”

  “Yeah. You’ve been spending a lot of time with her. Although, you shouldn’t really need a break from someone so early in a relationship.”

  “It’s not a relationship,” he was quick to clarify.

  “Something tells me she doesn’t see it that way.”

  “Well, I never promised her anything. I don’t lead people on. I can’t help it if she draws the wrong conclusion.”

  “If you hang out with someone several nights in a row, they’re going to draw certain conclusions, whether or not you define anything. I’m a girl. I know how we think.”

  “Thank you for the reminder that you’re a girl.”

  I laughed. “Smartass.”

  “Anyway...” He sighed. “That’s why I’m taking a night off. It got to be too much. And I’m…not ready for that.”

  I turned my body a little more toward him. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

  “Depends on the question.”

  “Do you think you’ll ever be ready for a serious relationship? Or do you just see yourself dating casually for the rest of your life, moving from one girl to the next?”

  He sighed. “I can’t answer that.”

  “Because you’re not sure?”

  “Because I’ve never only wanted to be with one woman, yet I do feel like there’s probably someone out there who could make me not want anyone else. I just haven’t found that person. So the answer depends on something I don’t have control over.”

  And now I was incredibly jealous of some fictitious, perfect woman who would get to have Jace all to herself one day—someone who could make him never need anyone else. She probably looked like a young Farrah Fawcett.

  “I guess that’s a fair answer.”

  He turned the tables. “What about you? Why haven’t I had to beat up any dudes trying to come around here lately?”

  “Well, you missed one a few years back. I would’ve loved for you to beat his ass.”

  His forehead crinkled. “Who was that?”

  I sighed. “Jordan Rhodes. My high-school boyfriend. He broke up with me when he got a basketball scholarship to an out-of-state school. It wasn’t like I’d expected him to stay here for me. But he’d led me to believe we’d try to make it work, and then right before he left, he ended it.”

  “He strung you along with false promises until it was time to leave.”

  “Exactly.”

  Jace grimaced. “It’s not too late, you know.”

  “For what?”

  “For me to beat his ass. Does he come home in the summer?”

  I smiled. “I’ll let you know.”

  “Seriously, though, very few people end up with their high school girlfriend or boyfriend. You remember Grace?”

  Grace.

  Ugh.

  How could I forget Jace’s high school girlfriend? Jace and Grace. Gag me. She was enemy number one for a long time—the focus of much of my preteen angst. How I’d wanted to be Grace Wethers back then.

  “Yeah. I do remember her.”

  “I bet she’s relieved she didn’t end up with my ass. Breaking up with her was the best thing I ever did. She’s married to some plastic surgeon now. She just had a baby.”

  “All thanks to you for breaking up with her?”

  “Basically. She was in love with me and wouldn’t have been the first to end things. I did to her what that asshole did to you—broke up with her before I left for school, because I didn’t want to be tied down. But she was probably the closest I’ve ever come to loving someone.”

  Jealousy coursed through me at the mention of him almost loving someone.

  “And yet you let her go...”

  “Yeah. I respected her. I knew I wasn’t going to be faithful in college. It all worked out for her in the end, though.”

  I had to respect that, I guessed. “What about for you? No regrets there?” I braced for his answer.

  “About not being with her? No. Not at all. It wasn’t meant to be.”

  I, for one, was grateful Jace wasn’t married to his high school sweetheart right about now—even if I didn’t stand a chance in hell with him. At least he was still on the market.

  Closing my eyes, I relished the last of the sun.

  When I opened them a few minutes later, I was surprised to find that Jace’s eyes weren’t closed—they were on me.

  Chapter 4

  * * *

  Jace

  Nathan really needed to get out of the house and earn a little cash, so I hired him to help me out with some cleanup at one of our work sites on Saturday. When I went to check things out over there, he said he hadn’t eaten yet, so I decided to fetch lunch and bring it back.

  Halfway to the restaurant, I realized I’d left my wallet at home. So I had no choice but to swing by the house to get it.

  When I opened the door, Farrah was sitting on the floor in the living room with her legs crossed. She wore fitted yoga pants and a purple sports bra. Her belly ring sparkled against her tight stomach. I’d tried to put that “thing” that had happened between us in the pool a few days ago out of my mind. Walking in on her like this, though? It wasn’t helping.

  She stood up from her exercise mat. “I thought you left to go check on Nathan.”

  “Yeah. I went to pick up lunch for him and realized I forgot my wallet. I’m just gonna get it and head back out.” I pried my eyes upward. They wanted desperately to explore the soft mounds peeking out from her bra, even if that was wrong as hell.

  She ran her hand along her hair. “Ah.”

  Soft music played from the television, where I could see the menu of her yoga DVD. Two lit candles sat on the mantel at each side of the TV.

  “Is this what you do when we’re not home? Turn this place into your own little Zen kingdom?”

  “Sometimes.” Her eyes twinkled. “You guys probably watch porn when you have the house to yourself. I do yoga for stress relief.”

  I’m not going to touch that comment. Clearing my throat, I said, “Does it really work? This yoga? To calm you down?”

  “Yes. I mean, it’s not just about stress reduction. This particular type is supposed to activate the spiritual energy at the base of your spine. It’s designed to help you rid yourself of your ego. It’s called cunnilingus yoga.”

  What did she just say? “Say what?”

  “Cunnilingus yoga,” she repeated.

  What the fuck? “Pretty sure that’s not what it’s called, Farrah.”

  Her eyes widened. “What did I just say?”

  “You said cunnilingus yoga.”

  She reached for the DVD cover on the couch and shook her head. “Kundalini!” Her face turned beet red. “Kundalini! I didn’t mean to say cunnilingus. I don’t know where that came from.”

  “It was a slip of the tongue.”

  “Shit.” She laughed.

  “Although, I have to say, cunnilingus yoga would be very interesting.” Okay, I needed to stop. This was my best friend’s little sister, and I was going to hell for that innuendo.

  She wiped her forehead. “Oh man.”

  “Anyway, I’d better find my wallet.”
/>   “Do you…want to try it with me?”

  Try it? Cunnilingus? “Uh…yoga?” I stupidly asked.

  She smiled shyly. “Yeah.”

  “I would…but Nathan is waiting for me to pick up lunch.”

  “I bet it would help you with all the stress you’re going through. Try it for five minutes. See if you like it.”

  I looked over at the candles and back at her.

  Am I crazy for entertaining this? “What the hell. Five minutes won’t kill me.”

  Farrah’s face lit up. “Get down on the floor. Sit behind me so you can see what I do. Cross your legs. Take a deep breath in and just listen to the instructions.”

  I must have been sick, because when she demanded that I get down on the floor, I continued to think nothing but dirty things. A vision of pulling off her yoga pants and going down on her flashed through my mind. Cunnilingus yoga.

  This is Farrah we’re talking about. Cut the shit.

  Sitting down, I crossed my legs as the guy in the DVD instructed. Farrah turned around to check on me, flashing her gorgeous smile. She was naturally beautiful. She didn’t have a drop of makeup on, and she certainly didn’t need it. And I was glad she didn’t wear any, because I preferred being able to see how her smooth skin changed colors when she was embarrassed. That happened a lot. Especially around me. I definitely had an effect on her, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get off on it a little. But I’d take that to the grave.

  I watched the video, following Farrah’s lead for what I knew had to be more than my five-minute allotment. She was right. As I bent my body forward into child’s pose, I could tell this was calming me.

  The short-lived peacefulness ended the moment the guy on the TV instructed us to get into a pose called triangle. That’s when I got into trouble. Farrah bent over in front of me, providing a clear view of her butt sticking straight in my face. Her pants were so tight that it almost looked like she wasn’t wearing anything, and I could easily make out the outline of her ass.

  Christ.

  Thank fuck I was behind her, because it turned out I had no control over my body’s reaction. I was so damn relaxed right before this, I hadn’t put my guard up, and my dick moved to fully erect before I had a chance to talk it down. I needed to get the fuck out of here before she turned around. It was bad enough that I’d just gotten hard over Nathan’s sister, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to let her notice.

  I bolted toward the kitchen.

  She called after me. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah. I guess yoga really makes you have to go,” I hollered from the hallway.

  Once in the bathroom, I locked the door behind me. Splashing some water on my face, I stared at myself in the mirror.

  What is wrong with you?

  I kept waiting for my stiffy to go down, but it wouldn’t. There was no way I could go back out there like this.

  My phone went off. It was a text from Nathan.

  Nathan: Where the hell are you?

  Feeling like absolute shit, I typed.

  Jace: Stuck in some traffic. Sorry.

  I looked down at myself and decided that unless I did something about this, I’d be stuck in the bathroom for the rest of the day. Unzipping my jeans, I took out my swollen cock. Positioning myself over the toilet, I thought back to the visual that had gotten me here—Farrah bent over in front of me—and it took all of ten seconds to shoot my load. My orgasm might have been quick, but it was intense. Apparently, I needed to get laid. Meanwhile, Farrah probably thought I had yoga-induced diarrhea in here.

  I flushed the toilet and washed my hands, destroying all evidence of my transgression before heading back out. With my head still stuck up my ass, I nearly forgot the entire reason I came home in the first place. But I didn’t. Stopping in my room, I picked up my wallet from the desk before returning to the living room.

  Farrah lifted her foot behind her back as she stretched.

  When she spotted me, she set her leg down. “You good?”

  “Yeah. I’d better get going.”

  “It was nice having company while it lasted.” She smiled. “We should do it again sometime.”

  No fucking way unless you blindfold me and cut my dick off. I nodded. “See you later.”

  By the time I got back to the job site to drop off Nathan’s lunch, it had been over an hour.

  “What the hell? Did you go to Africa for lunch or something?”

  I shrugged. “Sorry.”

  Wouldn’t the truth have been interesting?

  Well, Nathan, I went home to get my wallet and instead decided to partake in cunnilingus yoga with your sister. Then I locked myself in the bathroom and jerked off. Here’s your sandwich. Enjoy.

  • • •

  The following day, my father was released from the hospital after his final round of chemo. I’d decided not to bother him with work stuff while he was hospitalized, but I needed to talk to him now that he was home.

  When I arrived, my mother was out running errands, so I was happy to have the alone time with him. It was our first opportunity to really talk since the day I’d learned the real reason behind the company’s financial problems.

  Pacing in my dad’s room, I took a deep breath and told him exactly what I thought about what he’d done. Then I went through it again, just to get it all off my chest. When I finally came up for air, he looked a little shell-shocked.

  “I’m so sorry to have disappointed you, son. I’m sorry I wasn’t a stronger person. And I’m sorry I put the company in jeopardy.”

  While I tried not to yell, I couldn’t help the harshness of my tone. “It’s not even the gambling so much as the fact that you kept this from me. You let me uproot my life to come here to help you. I didn’t know I was walking into a clusterfuck.” I pulled on my hair. “How the hell are we supposed to come up with that money?”

  “We have options. We have the house.”

  The house? “Mom has to suffer for your misgivings? I’m not letting you sell our family home. That’s not an option.”

  “When I explained to her what I’d done, she was upset, but she accepted my apology. She said she’d be willing to sell this place and downsize.”

  I sighed. “Well, let’s keep that as a last resort. I have an appointment at the bank tomorrow to talk about a business loan. If we get approved, that’s the answer. But my question to you is, how do I know this won’t happen again when you’re healthy enough to be out and about?”

  “I promise you, I’ll seek therapy. I won’t even resume my position until I’m confident I won’t do any further harm to the company. I know you’ve sacrificed a lot to come here. And I’m very sorry to have dragged you into this.”

  It was hard to be mad at him when he seemed so weak. “I just wish I’d known so I could’ve helped you.”

  “Me too, son.” He examined my face. “How are you doing?”

  “What do you mean ‘How am I doing?’ Isn’t it obvious? I’m fucking pissed.”

  “I didn’t mean in terms of this situation. I know you’re upset. I mean in general.”

  “I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Fine. I guess.”

  “You still living with Nathan?”

  “Yeah. I’m mainly doing it to help him out, but honestly, it’s the best thing for now. I don’t want to commit to any property until I know whether I’m staying. After this fiasco, I might just get myself a one-way ticket out of here and say fuck it all.”

  “You know you can do that, right? No one is making you stay here.”

  My voice rose again. “Then what? Who’s gonna run the company while you’re sick? Who’s gonna be here for Mom? It’s not like Kenny or Thomas is gonna step up to the plate. It’s just me.”

  My two older brothers, Kenny and Thomas, were my dad’s children from his previous marriage. They were ten and eleven years older than me, and both had gotten into trouble with drugs over the years. Neither had finished school, and the only time I ever saw them was when they w
ere trying to mooch money off of my parents. For the most part, I was an only child. I’d vowed not to be anything like them, so I’d always excelled at school and sports, and when I left home for college, I promised to make something of myself, not be a burden on my parents. Before leaving Charlotte, I’d been thriving in my property manager position. It was a job where I could have continued to grow. But my time there ended when I tried to do the right thing in coming home to help Dad. He’d certainly made me second-guess that decision.

  “You shouldn’t have to bear the sole responsibility of getting us out of the mess I made,” my father said. “You could let it all burn.”

  He knew me better than that.

  “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. You know you can count on me, and that’s probably part of why you weren’t more careful. Unlike some people in this family, I actually have a conscience.”

  He huffed. “Thanks a lot, Jace.”

  “You deserve it, old man.” I shook my head. “I love you, but you deserve it.”

  My mother appeared in the doorway. “There’s my handsome son!”

  “Hey, Mom.” I walked over and kissed her on the cheek.

  She placed a paper bag on my father’s bedside table. “I brought you your favorite soup from the bistro. I hope you’re feeling well enough to eat it.”

  “Well, that depends on whether our son decides to forgive me for sabotaging my own business.”

  “Whether I forgive you or not doesn’t change the fact that we need a way out of this, Dad. The last thing I want is a dozen angry vendors on my ass for their money.”

  “No one is gonna come after you.”

  Is he that naïve? “Are you kidding me? James Moore already came to my freaking house looking for his money. Farrah answered the door. If he’d done something to her, I would’ve never been able to forgive myself.”

  “Shit.” My father closed his eyes briefly. “I didn’t realize that.”

  “Is she okay?” my mother asked.

  “Yeah. He didn’t do anything, but he was pissed. I told her not to open the door like that ever again.”

  Mom tilted her head. “How is Farrah?”