Fake Engagement, Nashville Style
Page 14
“On edge?” she asked. “I’m aching, Luke. Please.”
A begging Cassandra was something he’d never been able to turn down and now was no different. Selfishly, he didn’t want to wait, either. He’d had to watch her all day long rushing from one area to the next, all while wearing that body-hugging dress and a sweet smile on her face.
He didn’t realize how much he’d wanted her in his life until she’d come back into it.
Luke clenched his jaw to keep from saying something in the moment he might not want her to know afterward. His vulnerability was teetering on the line and he was about ready to expose himself.
Sliding her panties down her legs, Luke focused on her dark eyes. Cassandra rose up onto her elbows as he moved up her body. He reached around her back and flicked the clasp on her bra as she wiggled it off and tossed it behind her.
Luke gathered her and flipped until she was straddling his lap. Her hair went wild around her shoulders as she smiled down at him. Damn it. His heart flipped in his chest and that’s exactly what he didn’t want to happen.
Too late.
Flattening his hands on her thighs, Luke slid up to that crease at her hips. He gripped and jerked his hips beneath her. She instantly took his silent gesture and joined their bodies.
When she braced herself against his chest and started moving, Luke absolutely got lost in the sight. The passion from this woman, the bond they shared, wasn’t something he’d felt since she’d been gone. Luke couldn’t help but wonder if she was it for him. Was he just getting caught up in nostalgia and his brothers’ happiness, or was Cassandra the one for him?
Luke shifted and rose, taking her legs and wrapping them around his back. She continued to move with him as he wrapped himself around her. He couldn’t get close enough. He wanted her, in bed and out. He wanted some magical moment where she knew how he felt and he didn’t have to bare himself completely by telling her.
Just as she started to come undone, Luke leaned in and captured her lips. He wanted to experience every single aspect of her passion as he was closing in on his own climax.
Cass trembled against him and Luke couldn’t hold back any longer. He joined her as he held on, never wanting this moment to end...never wanting to say goodbye.
* * *
He was lying sleeping in her bed and she didn’t have the heart to wake him. Cassandra leaned against the doorframe of the en suite and took in the man who had made love to her all night with such passion and care.
And today she would be leaving. They hadn’t talked, even though that’s exactly what she’d vowed to herself to do. She didn’t want any heartache or ill feelings before she left. They’d found some common ground and she’d come to care for him once again. Or maybe she’d never stopped.
Regardless of her feelings, they’d created such successful lives in completely different cities. Being in Beaumont Bay for just over a month wasn’t near enough for her to drop everything and stay. She’d had eight years of rebuilding and couldn’t give all that up...not that he’d asked her to.
A fierce, invisible grip on her heart had her nearly tearing up. She had to remain in control of her emotions, though. She’d known this day was coming and she’d known Luke wouldn’t need her anymore after the wedding.
That had been the entire plan, right? They’d both gotten what they’d wanted, had an intense fling on the side, and now they were both ready to go about their lives just like before.
Only she wasn’t sure she’d ever be like before because all she’d done here was reopen all her old wounds and reach into that pocket where she’d kept her emotions regarding Luke. They’d all come spilling out and now she had to figure out how the hell to pack them all back in.
But she didn’t want to pack them back in.
She wanted to leave them out, and she wanted Luke to admit he wanted her, to admit that maybe they could try for something they hadn’t been ready for before. Was any of that even possible? Was all of this worth the risk?
Cassandra padded quietly into the kitchen and ordered room service. What was the protocol for saying goodbye to an old lover and fake fiancé? Surely a nice breakfast was a good start. But what was there to talk about?
The nerves seemed to pile higher and higher. Cassandra closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She needed coffee and she needed to just calm down. Luke wasn’t expecting anything from her...and that was the crux of her issue right now.
Last night, she could have sworn he was going to say he loved her. Just the way he held her, the way he touched her, the man was in love. Maybe he didn’t know it. Maybe he didn’t want to be. Or maybe he refused to face reality.
So if he wasn’t going to say anything, despite their passionate night, then she wasn’t going to say anything, either.
Damn it.
Presley was right. They were two stubborn people and maybe that had been the problem all those years ago. Maybe if she’d told him what she needed from him, things would have been different. But, in her defense, she hadn’t wanted to beg for attention or fall second to his work.
Several minutes later the elevator chimed, indicating a visitor, and Cassandra tightened the belt on her robe and went to the door to meet the waiter. Once she’d tipped him, she wheeled the cart inside and laughed. Maybe she’d been a little out of it when she’d called. Luke had her so confused, it looked like she’d ordered for the entire wedding party from yesterday.
“Damn, woman. How long are we staying in and eating?”
She glanced up to see Luke rubbing a hand over his bare chest as he shuffled from the bedroom. His eyes were on the silver domed trays.
“I wasn’t sure what you’d want and I really didn’t know what I was in the mood for.”
His eyes moved to her and there it was...that hunger. She couldn’t get sidetracked, though. They’d had their last night and there were still some loose ends to tie up before she left.
“Do you want to eat first or talk?”
Luke stilled and his eyes locked onto hers. “What is there to talk about?”
Everything, but nothing she wanted to get into. She twisted the ring on her finger and ultimately slid it off.
“For starters, this is yours.”
Cassandra extended her arm, but Luke just continued to stare at her. She wanted him to take it, to make their break as simple and painless as possible. After all, this had all started as a business arrangement, so shouldn’t they end things that way, as well?
“I want you to keep it.”
Cassandra dropped her arm and sighed. “I can’t do that, Luke.”
“Why not?”
Because it would remind her of what she didn’t have. Because she would look at it every day and think of him, which was something she could not afford to do.
“We aren’t engaged,” she told him.
“Maybe not, but that ring is yours.”
He took a step forward, and then another, until he stood toe-to-toe with her. Those dark eyes seemed to penetrate her, as if he could read her thoughts. That was the last thing she needed. Because no matter the gap of time that had separated them, Luke still knew her better than anyone. She’d never let anyone get as close as he had. That bond they’d shared still hadn’t been severed. Despite everything, there was a piece of her heart that would always belong to Luke Sutherland.
“I suppose you’re leaving today,” he said, still studying her face.
Cassandra nodded, fisting her hand around the ring.
“Will you come back?” he asked.
“Come back?”
“To visit,” he added. “I know my family loved seeing you and my parents said you told them you’d stay in touch.”
She swallowed the emotional lump forming in her throat.
“Are you asking on their behalf or yours?”
The muscle in his jaw clenched an
d he took a step back, raking a hand over his jaw. The morning stubble bristled against his palm, breaking the silence surrounding them. Her heart beat so fast... She wanted him to answer. She wanted him to tell her what he was thinking and what he wanted.
“Maybe I’m asking for both of us,” he finally replied.
Cassandra truly didn’t think their morning talk would get so emotional. She’d hoped he’d take the ring, they’d share breakfast, maybe a few kisses, and he’d be gone.
That wasn’t going to be the case, so she had to shore up all her courage, all her willpower, to get through this. She couldn’t leave town with heartache again. She didn’t know if she’d survive it.
“Are you asking me to come back?”
“What if I am?” He rested his hands on his narrow hips and waited a beat. “Would you come back if I asked just for myself?”
Confused, Cassandra needed something to focus on besides these unwanted feelings. She moved to the cart and poured a mimosa. Once she had the tall, slender glass in hand, she turned back around and wrapped her arm around her waist.
“I don’t want to play games,” she told him. “If there’s something you want from me, you need to say it. Otherwise, I should start packing.”
His eyebrows rose and he let out a low, humorless laugh. “I don’t want you to pack.”
“Then what do you want?” she asked as her heart kicked up.
“I don’t know, Cass, but I’m not ready for you to just pack and go.”
Cassandra nodded and took a sip.
“The last time you broke things off and just left. There wasn’t much discussion.”
Unable to stand still under his penetrating gaze, Cassandra moved around the penthouse and made her way to the wall of windows overlooking the lake. She didn’t like the unsettling nerves that came with her relationship to Luke. They’d been there since she walked into his office a month ago and had only grown with each passing day.
“I had to leave, Luke. I realized we were obviously wanting two different things at that time and staying would have only shattered both of us even more.”
Maybe she was a coward for not facing him, but she just couldn’t. They were entering into a conversation that was long overdue and even after eight years, she still wasn’t ready for it.
“I had to put myself first,” she added, forcing herself to turn and take this head-on. “I’m not placing the blame on you. I know it takes two people to make a relationship work. Maybe I should have told you long before that I wasn’t going to be second to anything, including your work.”
Luke jerked. “Is that what you thought? That you were second to my businesses?”
“That’s not what I thought, that’s what I know.”
Luke crossed the room with purpose and stood right before her. He took her drink and set it over on the table by the sofa. Then he came back, took her fisted hand and opened her fingers.
“See that ring?” he demanded. “I chose that for you eight years ago. I intended to propose to you, so we could officially start our lives together. But I wasn’t ready, not when you were. I needed time and I wasn’t sure when I’d be ready for what you wanted.”
“Then why didn’t you fight for me?” she demanded. “Why didn’t you tell me you were needing more time?”
“Because you said you were leaving and I knew if you felt that way, then there was nothing I could say. If you wanted to go, then maybe we weren’t right for each other and you should go.”
She stared at him another minute and truly didn’t know what to say or what had gotten them to this heart-wrenching point.
“Damn it,” he muttered as he spun around and gave her his back.
“Luke.”
“Forget it.”
But she couldn’t forget it because now they were entering a whole new territory, one she hadn’t even known they needed to explore...and she had a feeling more emotions than she ever wanted to admit were about to be exposed.
Seventeen
He’d never wanted to tell her that. He’d never wanted to admit he’d been a damn fool and had gotten her a ring and then, like the pathetic heartbroken man he’d been, he’d kept the damn thing for all of this time.
“Talk to me.”
Cassandra’s soft, questioning tone had Luke turning back around. He hadn’t been strong enough the first time she was in his life, but he damn well would be now. Maybe this was risky, maybe this was all a mistake and he was going to end up looking like a fool again, but he had to know. He had to.
“I never put you second in my life.” He held her gaze, wanting her to see he was absolutely telling the truth. “You know I invested everything I owned and took out loans to get those bars up and running. I wanted a solid foundation and a firm income before proposing to you. I didn’t want to come to you before I knew I could provide the life you deserved. But then I was afraid. I feared if I took that step that I would lose myself and all I had created. I didn’t know how to have it all and the risk scared the hell out of me.”
Her eyes widened and instantly started brimming with tears. Luke clenched his jaw and waited for her to say something...and he also cursed the man he used to be for not standing up for what he wanted and for being too damn stubborn.
“Everything I did was because I was putting you first,” he added. “But then... I just wasn’t ready.”
“I didn’t know,” she whispered.
“I was so busy trying to pave the way to an easy life for us, and then all I could think of was how I could juggle it all...and I let you go.”
Cassandra blinked and a lone tear slid down her dark skin. Luke reached out, cupped her cheek, and swiped away the moisture. She leaned in to his touch.
“I never knew you were that afraid. I should’ve asked. I should have made you talk to me.” She closed her eyes as another tear escaped. “What have we done?”
“We were guarding our hearts. That’s why we didn’t communicate properly.”
Her lids fluttered open as she focused on him. Luke hated seeing her cry, hated knowing he’d had any part of her unhappiness and heartache.
“So what happens now?” she asked.
This was the tricky part, the hardest part...but maybe the most rewarding.
“You can decide to go as you had planned or you can decide to stay a bit longer and see how this plays out.”
When she remained silent, he reached up with his other hand and framed her face.
“I would never make you decide between your life in Lexington and Beaumont Bay,” he told her. “That’s not fair for either of us. But if you want to make this work, we will find a way. I can go to Lexington if that’s what you want. I can still own my bars, I have managers I trust to run them, and I can come down every few weeks to check on things.”
“Luke.”
The emotional whisper had his heart clenching. He’d gone this far, he might as well finish the rest.
“Did you look at the planner I bought you?” he asked.
Her eyebrows drew in as she shook her head. “I mean, I looked at it, but I haven’t gone through it or anything. Why?”
“Go get it.”
She eased back, still looking at him like he was crazy. Hell, maybe he was crazy for putting himself on the line like this. But he hadn’t gotten this far, been this successful in his life, without taking risks and putting himself out there.
Cassandra went to her bedroom and then came back out with the planner. She started to hand it to him, but he pointed to it.
“Open it to today’s date,” he told her.
She flipped through the pages until she came to the date. When her eyes landed on the square and the red writing he’d added, she gasped.
“‘Tell Cass how much she is loved,’” she whispered.
Then her eyes darted up to his. The shock on her face made
him realize he’d never seen her this shocked and that meant he’d done a terrible job of letting her know just how much he’d fallen for her all over again. He’d hoped she’d pick up on that on her own, but clearly she hadn’t.
“You love me?” she asked.
Luke nodded. “I do.”
“But you gave this to me weeks ago. You already knew then?”
“I’m not sure I ever stopped loving you, Cass,” he told her. “When you came back, all of those old feelings came back, too, but then I started with new feelings as I got to know the new Cassandra.”
“You think you know me well enough now to say those words?” she asked.
Damn it, he wanted her to say them back. But he wanted her to mean them. His heart had been exposed and he wished like hell she’d take it again.
“I know when you set your mind to something, you make it happen,” he began. “I know you’re a successful wedding coordinator, which was a dream you made come true. You’re strong, resilient, loyal, loving to my family like they are your own, sexy as hell, and I don’t want to be without you anymore.”
Her eyes filled once again as she glanced back to the planner.
“Luke, I...”
She closed the planner, but kept her head down. Luke’s breath caught in his throat and he had no idea what she was thinking, but he wished she’d clue him in. He’d never been so nervous or on edge in his entire life.
Finally, she glanced up to him as tears streamed down her cheeks...but she was smiling.
“I love you,” she told him. “I never thought I’d get the opportunity to tell you that again, but your mom was so right. Second chances happen for a reason and this encounter happened to force us back together...where we belong.”
A wave of relief washed over Luke. He hadn’t been sure she felt the same—he’d hoped, he’d suspected, but he hadn’t been certain.
Now he knew. And there was no way in hell he would ever let her go again.
Luke took the planner from her and tossed it over to the sofa, then banded his arms around her and lifted her. She squealed as he spun her in a circle and kissed her firmly on the mouth.