Blindsided (Fake Boyfriend Book 4)

by Eden Finley

  Talon stares down at the ground, and it takes all my strength not to press against him and tell him everything will be okay even though I don’t know that for sure. As long as I can restrain myself in public, as hard as it is to do, we won’t have a problem.

  No touching doesn’t take away the risk of people finding out, though. Maddox worked it out after meeting Talon for fifteen minutes.

  Talon shoves his hands in his pockets. “I don’t want to change this side of me, but I don’t know how else to describe this—like my privacy is on the line and there’s nothing I can do to stop it from being leaked. It’s a control issue.”

  “That’s why I want you to be sure before we … do anything else.”

  He doesn’t respond immediately, and I guess part of me is hoping he’ll say “Of course, you’re worth it. Duh.” But if he’s thinking about it, then that’s good too, because if he’s not sure, it’s better to know now.

  “You wanna go home?” I ask.

  “We haven’t been here long. We should go back in there and chill for a bit.”

  More disappointment, and as we go back inside, I spend the next few hours trying to gauge what Talon’s thinking. He seems like his usual goofball self, but he avoids eye contact with both me and Maddox.

  When we leave and go home a few hours later, things are so strained that we don’t talk the whole way back to Staten Island.

  And instead of inviting me back to his place, he pulls up outside my mom’s house. I stare at the house and then at him, awaiting some type of excuse that doesn’t come. But as I go to get out of the car, Talon reaches for my thigh and gives it a squeeze.

  I should ask what it means, because now, I’m going to spend the rest of the night wondering if it was supposed to be reassuring, casual, or bracing me for the bad news to come.

  “I just need some time …”

  I told him to think about it seriously, so I can’t blame him for actually doing it, but damn, if it doesn’t hurt a little.

  The loud banging on the front door is what rouses me from sleep.

  I can’t catch a fucking break. If it’s not the kidlet waking me up, it’s someone at the front door at some ungodly hour of the day.

  I throw my pillow over my head and wait for Mom or Vanessa to answer the door. Hell, even Gabby could answer it right now for all I care.

  Uncle of the year award right here. “Answer the door to strangers, honey, so Uncle Shane can get some rest.”

  Gah, I should get out of bed to make sure she’s not being kidnapped or being asked to convert to Jehovah’s Witness, but I’m broken and can’t move.

  After barely sleeping at all last night because of my idiotic decision to tell Talon to step back and have a think if I’m worth fighting for or not, I’m not gonna be able to function today when I can’t get myself to sit up.

  “Geez, I give you two beers, and you think you get to sleep in this morning?” Talon’s voice startles me, and that finally gets me moving. I bolt upright.

  “I … well … yes?” After last night, I wasn’t sure I’d see him today.

  Talon crosses his arms. He’s in his ridiculously cute beanie and sweats, and his cheeks are flushed. “Come on. We’re walking back to the apartment and then training all day.”

  “And the hard-ass is back. I thought after last night he might’ve been killed off by the nice Talon.” On the inside, I’m thankful the hard-ass turned up. It means there’s hope.

  Something falters in Talon’s smile. “No matter what’s going on between you and me, I’m still here for a reason, and that’s to whip your ass into shape.”

  I smirk. “I’m not really into whips. Handcuffs on the other hand …”

  Talon’s eyes flare with heat, but he tries to hide it. “Up. Now. Your mom is making us something to eat, so you’ve got five minutes to get up and get dressed or you’re going in your pajamas.”

  “You’re assuming I’m wearing pajamas.” Probably shouldn’t poke him, but I want to show him where I’m still at. I don’t want to beg him or tell him he has to choose me, but I want him to know nothing has changed on my end.

  Talon looks at the roof, muttering something about God giving him strength to keep his dick in his pants.

  I don’t know where we stand, but that’s no different from last night. We’re probably not going to work this out immediately. It’s something we have to figure out for ourselves.

  “I don’t see you moving,” Talon says.

  “It’s too early,” I complain, trying to get a reaction out of him. It works.

  “Don’t make me go over there.”

  My mouth drops open to dare him to do it, but I think better of it. That might be pushing him too far this morning.

  Talon shifts on his feet. “Say it.”

  “Say what?”

  “What you were going to say. Taunt me to come over there.” His eyes are soft, just like his voice, and it’s like he’s begging me to give him permission.

  “Come here,” I say, my voice gruff.

  His steps are tentative, but he does it.

  When he reaches the bed, I move swiftly and pull him down on top of me. Our bodies collide, and he laughs, but it’s cut off when my mouth doesn’t know when to let shit go.

  “I didn’t think I’d see you today.”

  With our hips lined up against each other, chest to chest, we share a single breath. Talon stares down at me with his baby blues. “Like I said, nothing’s gonna stop me from keeping my promise to get you back in shape.”

  The words neither of us want to hear go unsaid.

  This might be too much.

  It might be too hard.

  It might not be worth it.

  A little voice comes from the doorway. “Whatcha doin?”

  Talon rolls off me so fast he almost knees me in the groin. I grunt, and he lands on his ass next to me and smiles innocently at my niece.

  “Talon fell,” I say. “Silly, clumsy quarterback.”

  I don’t think Gabby believes me.

  “Your uncle pushed me,” Talon says.

  She puts her little hands on her hips, and the scowl she gives kills me. She’s so freaking adorable. “Don’t be a bully.”

  I try to keep a straight face. “Sorry. You’re right. I shouldn’t be a bully.”

  “Breakfast,” Mom calls out.

  We eat quickly and head out, and I can feel something brewing in my gut—a sense or need to do well and show Talon I appreciate him coming to get my ass out of bed even though things are weird between us after last night.

  He thinks I don’t see the way he’s been looking at me during our training sessions. He knows my head’s not in it, and he’s worried. If I’m honest with myself, I’m worried too.

  An athlete’s motivation always comes from the need to win—the need to fight. When I injured my leg, a little of that died for me. And then with the complication after surgery, it died a little more. I don’t know if there’s enough left to save my career.

  Snow fell a few nights ago, but it’s all melted away today. The walk to Talon’s apartment building warms me a little but not enough, and it’s days like this I miss the sunshine and heat of California. I only lived there for four years, but it’s like those years erased my entire childhood love of New York winters.

  Talon doesn’t talk, which is concerning in itself.

  It makes me want to do better and show him I can get back on my feet, even if I don’t one hundred percent believe it myself.

  So, I begin to walk faster. My leg’s good today, and I haven’t had any sciatic pain for over twenty-four hours now. I know not to push past my limits, but fear has been keeping me from pushing anything.

  If I don’t test my limits, I don’t know what they are.

  And shit, isn’t that an accurate phrase for all corners of my life right now. Instead of telling Talon exactly what I want, I’m still letting him lead this.

  He asked me what I needed last night, and I lied to him. I said I
needed space to think when all I want is for him to be confident in us. Which is unfair to both of us, because how can he be sure when he doesn’t even know if I am?

  With that thought, I push to prove myself, and we’re jogging by the time we make it to Talon’s place.

  “How’s the leg?” he asks as we enter the lobby.

  I shake it out. “Good, I think. I want to go harder today.”

  Talon relaxes into a triumphant grin.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  TALON

  Miller gives me one hundred and ten percent for the first time in the three days I’ve been here.

  I don’t know what shifted, but something has lit a fire under his ass, and I’m definitely not complaining.

  While things are slightly off between us after last night, I know it’s not going to last. At least, I hope it won’t. Not after I tell him I don’t need to think about what I want, because on some level, I’ve known for years.

  Bottom line: I want him.

  It’s gonna suck having to hide, and I have no idea how this is gonna work long-term, but whatever needs to happen for us to be together, I’ll do it.

  I hold out my hand and help Miller off the bench press. “Congratulations, you’ve earned yourself a blowjob when we go upstairs.”

  Sweat drips off Miller’s brow as he scowls at me. “That’s all? Yesterday I was promised ass, and that was only for two hours. We’ve been here all day.”

  “Hmm, true. I do still owe you for that.”

  The heat in Miller’s eyes suggests we may not make it upstairs before he jumps me, and if it weren’t for the unpredictability of people coming and going in this gym, I’d totally take him up on it.

  Miller’s so eager to get upstairs we even take the stairs instead of the elevator that takes a million years to get up to my apartment. Miller slows when we get to the top, and I assume he’s exhausted from the day, but once we reach the landing, he winces and kinda hobbles to the door.

  “Pushed your leg too far?”

  “Shoulda taken the elevator.”

  I spin on my heel as I open my apartment door and pull him inside by his shirt. He stumbles a little, and I grimace.

  “Okay, change of plans. We’ll shower fast, and then we’ll go to bed where I’ll do all the work. You need to rest your leg.”

  Miller smirks and leads me into the bathroom.

  After a quick shower with lots of grabby hands, I throw Miller a towel. “Dry yourself off and then lie in the middle of the bed.”

  Miller’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Think you’re gonna be the bossy one this time around?”

  “My ass, my rules.”

  He looks like he wants to argue, but he keeps his mouth shut and does as I say.

  When I finish drying myself, I make my way to the bedside table for supplies and throw them on the bed next to Miller.

  I never thought the sight of a man waiting in bed for me could turn my crank the way it does. Miller’s hard lines and muscles take up most of the king bed, but my gaze lands on the massive cock pointing straight up toward his stomach.

  I can do this. Just like I hadn’t sucked a cock up until recently, this is the same deal. No woman ever died from anal. I’ll be fine. Although a few did say they felt like they were being ripped apart …

  Then again, I always thought that was to stroke my ego. You know, like how they’re all so “Oooh, you’re so big.” Please … I’ve seen a hell of a lot of cocks bigger than mine, and that’s just in the locker room.

  “You freaking out?” Miller asks.

  “Nope.” Hey, at least my fake confidence is working.

  “You sure?”

  Okay, maybe not.

  “Because we don’t have to do this.”

  “I want to do this, because, you know, it’s what you do in a relationship.”

  Miller leans up on his elbows. “Fun fact. Only around thirty percent of guys in a same-sex relationship have anal sex.”

  Huh. “Really? That seems like such a low number.”

  “It’s not a big deal if you don’t want to. And you know I’d be happy to—”

  “I still want to try it. When I was watching all that gay porn—you know, for research purposes—”

  Miller snorts. “Of course. Research.”

  “Right. Well, yeah, there was this couple I loved watching. They’re married in real life, and I dunno, they make it seem … I dunno.” My cheeks flush. I never get all weird and shy about sex. Like, ever.

  “You know porn is, like, the worst depiction of what sex is really like, right?”

  I roll my eyes. “Duh. But these guys … they’re different.”

  “Show me.” Miller beckons me onto the bed with him, but I hesitate.

  “You want to watch porn?”

  “I want to see what you want.”

  I find my phone and pull up the app, and it automatically opens to the couple I’ve basically stalked since seeing that first video months ago.

  As I join Miller on the bed, he sits up and pulls me to his side.

  “Oh, I’ve seen these guys, but they had a chick with them.”

  “That’s where I found them.” Is it weird I’m excited we have the same taste in porn? It makes sense seeing as we’ve been sexually compatible since way back in college. I pull up the threesome scene which was my rabbit hole into the world of these guys.

  It’s a clip that jumps straight to the middle—no foreplay, just fucking—and it takes about thirty seconds of watching before Miller’s hands wander. Then his lips. They lay light kisses to my neck as his fingers trail down my side.

  I go to put the phone down, but he stops me.

  “Keep watching.”

  His mouth and hands continue to explore my body, while I keep my eyes on the screen.

  The moans coming from my phone speaker are broken by one of the guys saying “Take that fat dick,” which, of course, makes Miller and I crack up laughing.

  “Hey, Talon, you gonna take my fat dick?” He chuckles into my neck.

  “I, uh, can mute the sound.” I put my phone on silent.

  “Get on your hands and knees.”

  I do as he says and place my phone on the bed facing me. Miller’s ingenious idea to distract me with porn totally works, because while he covers his fingers in lube, I’m too busy getting worked up at the people going at it on screen to be nervous.

  He kneels behind me, and when he teases my hole, I imagine what it’s going to be like being the guy on screen—with Miller’s cock buried so deep in my ass I can’t feel anything but him.

  The first breach of his fingers gives me the same sense of awkwardness like when I do this to myself, but Miller’s gentle and patient, and he works me slowly. So slowly that I’m easily distracted by the video again.

  I don’t realize he’s two fingers deep until he hits that spot inside me that I was never quite able to reach. “Holy son of a fucking god bitch.”

  Miller chuckles. “God bitch?”

  “I’m sure God has bitches and hos around him all the time.”

  All I get is laughter at my nonsensical rambling. Of course.

  Miller continues to fuck me slowly with his fingers until I’m involuntarily rocking back onto his hand.

  “Do you think you’re ready?”

  “I … I think so.” Maybe. Shit, I don’t know. Is anyone truly ready to shove something the size of Miller’s dick in an out hole?

  I’m unsure when Miller suits up, but when he removes his fingers, the feel of latex dragging along my ass crack makes me shiver in anticipation. And maybe nerves. Okay, a lot of it is nerves.

  His cock lines up with my hole, and I brace myself for something that doesn’t come.

  “Change of plans,” Miller says. “Move over.”

  “What? You can’t tease me like that. I—”

  “You froze up as soon as you knew it was my cock. I want you to ride me so you set the pace. It’s way too much pressure for me to handle, and I’
m scared of hurting you.”

  Typical Miller. Always trying to protect me.

  “I’m not gonna break.”

  “I might. My leg won’t hold up this way for long anyway.”

  I’m sure he’s stretching the truth for my benefit, but when Miller lowers himself onto his back, I’m quick to crawl on top of him and straddle his waist so he can’t get away.

  We’re doing this.

  I reach behind me and grip his cock to keep it still as I sink down on him. He tries to hide the concern on his face, and I try to cover the pain, but it’s a struggle. Every fat inch that makes its way inside my body, the more my ass protests.

  Miller grips my ass cheeks and holds tight. “Take your time or it’ll hurt more.”

  I still and close my eyes, trying to concentrate on anything else but the ache in my ass.

  “Talon, breathe.”

  Yes. Miller giving orders is what I need right now. Handing him that control relaxes me—settles something inside me somehow.

  He massages my lower back and ass while I concentrate on my breathing, and our eyes meet. It’s the encouragement I need. Miller is amazingly patient with me like he always is. It’s always been our dynamic. I’m the loose cannon he reins in, and I make him loosen up.

  Although, right now, he’s anything but loose. His body is wound tight, his jaw set hard, and as I take more of his cock, it becomes apparent he’s trying to restrain himself.

  I slowly rotate my hips and take him in shallow thrusts until I’m fully seated.

  I can’t stop looking at Miller’s dark eyes, hooded in pleasure. The sting lessens when I know how much he’s enjoying this, and then as it fades away, the pain turns into need.

  I lean down and kiss Miller’s addictive mouth while I take a few more minutes to adjust. With his cock deep inside me, I’ve never experienced this kind of want before. I want to move, I want to stay still, I want to beg … Basically, I want everything and nothing, and now I’m not even making sense.

  My mouth nips and teases his while I test out small thrusts that have me seeing stars. Miller moans, the sound so raw.

  When he thinks I can handle it, his hands grip my hips and give a little push. It takes him deeper than I’ve tried, and the sting comes back, but I don’t care, because his cock pegs my prostate, and I shudder.