Go Dwarf Yourself

by Martha Carr

  He stopped and gritted his teeth as the faces of twenty-six other young girls he hadn’t been able to save tonight flashed through his head.

  “All the what, Johnny?”

  “Yeah, you can’t cut off in the middle of something like that.”

  His expression grim, he stepped toward the mini-fridge and searched inside. Any other night, he might have smirked when he saw the four mini-bottles of Johnny Walker Black stocked neatly beside the bottles of water and the craft beers. Tonight, he merely grunted and swiped two bottles before he kicked the door shut with a black-socked foot.

  “She did all right, boys. That’s all that needs sayin’.”

  “So when do we meet her, huh?” Rex sniffed a larger chunk of destroyed rawhide and lay on the carpet, his back legs kicking out behind him as he began to gnaw it.

  “You already met her on the bridge,” he muttered. He opened both mini-bottles and tossed the lids at the trashcan that overflowed with his party clothes. The plastic lids caught in the fabric and remained stuck there.

  “He means for real, Johnny.” Luther crawled across the bedspread on his belly until his snout settled inches from his master’s thigh. “Like talking. That’s how you make friends.”

  “Talking and sniffing.” Rex paused his chewing to sniff the slobber-covered rawhide. “And sometimes humping.”

  “Yeah, humping. That’s how you know your real friends from all the posers.” Luther’s tail thumped on the bed as he stared with drooping eyes at the mini bottles in Johnny’s hand.

  “We’ll see her in the morning, boys. And no humping.”

  “What?” Rex raised his head and looked over his shoulder at the bed with a low whine. “She’s only a pup. What are you thinking?”

  “You are one messed-up two-legger, Johnny.”

  The dwarf sniffed and stared at the blank wall next to the TV. “Tell me somethin’ I don’t know.”

  He upended both mini-bottles into his mouth at the same time and drained them in two seconds.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Without any word from Lisa or Amanda the next morning, Johnny ordered room service—complete with another steak for each hound—and set to work cleaning the massive pistols he’d brought with him. These aren’t the best for hunting. They’re good enough for crashing Monsters Balls, though. And monsters’ balls.

  He snorted and finished wiping the outside of the second pistol’s barrel with the cloth before a knock came at the door.

  “It’s Lisa. And Amanda.”

  “Yeah, hold on.” He wiped the gun, set it on his duffel bag on the bed, and went to answer the door.

  It took him completely by surprise to see the young girl standing beside Lisa in an oversized t-shirt and navy sweatpants that fit around the waist but were too long and bunched at her ankles. Amanda gave him a small smile. Her long dark hair had been washed and brushed and hung over her shoulders in a brown sheen. Hazel eyes stared expectantly at the dwarf who’d rescued her.

  And now this kid gets to go…where? Not back home. Not to the place where her twin and parents were ripped to shreds in the living room.

  “Johnny?” Lisa raised her eyebrows and smiled. “Can we come in?”

  “Yup.” He sniffed, stepped aside, and glanced at the white trainers on Amanda’s feet. “Nice shoes.”

  “Oh.” The girl shrugged. “Lisa and I have the same shoe size. Weird, right?”

  Johnny looked at the agent as she slipped through the door and gave him a knowing smile. “How you feelin’, kid?”

  “Hungry.” Amanda scanned the hotel room and cocked her head. “You’re much tidier than she is.”

  “Is that right?” He cast Lisa a sidelong glance.

  She looked at the floor and tucked her dark hair behind her ears as she fought a smile. “I have different priorities.”

  “Oh, Johnny!” Luther raced around the other side of the bed and skidded to a stop in front of Amanda. “She’s here! You’re here! Johnny, Johnny. Tell her we like her. Tell her we saw her fight.”

  “Hey, buddy.” The girl leaned forward, propped her hands on her thighs, and grinned at the hound. “Luther, right?”

  “Holy shit! She knows my name. Johnny, how does she know my name?”

  Rex trotted across the hotel room after his brother. “Heya, pup.”

  Amanda chuckled. “I never had a chance to thank you guys for helping me on the bridge yesterday. So thanks.”

  She held her hand out toward Luther and he sniffed her fingers once before he gave them a quick experimental lick.

  “She thanked us, Johnny. No wonder everyone wants this kid on their side.”

  A small frown creased the girl’s forehead but she wrinkled her nose and shook it off. “But now I have you to help keep me safe from here on out, right?”

  “Oh, yeah.” Rex sniffed the girl’s borrowed shoes, then walked around her to sniff her backside before he joined his brother again and sat. “We got you covered, pup.”

  “Thanks for that.”

  Johnny glanced at Lisa, who stood with her arms folded and watched the girl pet the two coonhounds like the last four days of her kidnapping and all the horrors she’d gone through didn’t exist. Coincidences happen. But it sounded a hell of a lot like she’s having a conversation with them.

  He shook himself out of that line of thinking and cleared his throat. “You said you’re hungry. There’s, uh…half a room-service pancake left. A little eggs if you want ʼem—”

  “Yeah, thanks.” Amanda flashed him a winning grin and stepped around the hounds, laughing when they followed closely at her heels.

  Lisa gave him a playful frown. “Half a pancake?”

  He grimaced and shrugged. “It gets too sweet after that.”

  “Watch for the eggs, Rex. Scrambled eggs fall like rain.”

  “On it. I’d take some of that pancake, though. They put so much butter on it.”

  “Ooh, yeah. Butter. Hey, is there any bacon left?”

  The girl lifted the lid of the silver tray and gave the dogs a playful frown. “Didn’t you guys have steaks already?”

  “Well, yeah. Johnny always gets us steaks.” Rex sat, licked his muzzle, and looked over his shoulder at his master. “Wait. How does she know that?”

  The girl met the dwarf’s gaze and raised her eyebrows. “They did have steak, right?”

  He narrowed his eyes at her. “Yeah. How did you know?”

  She shrugged. “I can smell it.”

  “Woah-ho-ho…Johnny! She can smell it.”

  Rex cocked his head at his brother. “She’s a shifter. What did you expect?”

  “She’s not shifting now, is she? What if there was a difference? You know, two legs versus four.”

  “Obviously not.” Rex lifted his head and sniffed at the half of a pancake Amanda lifted in both hands like a syrupy, soggy pizza. “How about some of that cake from the pan, pup? Huh?”

  She smirked and looked at Johnny again. “Can I?”

  The dwarf folded his arms and stared at her.

  Lisa shook her head. “He doesn’t like anyone to feed his—”

  “Go ahead.” Johnny shrugged and nodded at the hounds. “But only a little.”

  The agent leaned away from him in surprise. “Changing your rules now, huh?”

  He shrugged. “Some of us deserve an exception now and then.”

  She took a deep breath and he completely missed the concerned frown that crossed her features.

  “Johnny, you’re the best.” Luther’s tail thumped on the carpet, then swung between the side of the dresser and his brother’s hindquarters. “Like for real. The total best.”

  “I don’t know, man.” Rex stared at the pieces of pancake in Amanda’s fingers. “The pup might have you beat, now. You never feed us pancakes.”

  The girl smiled at the hounds and regarded them sternly. “I’m trusting you guys. Be gentle. Stay sitting. Deal?”

  “Deal.” Luther shifted his front paws in excitemen
t. “Definitely deal.”

  “Pancakes!”

  The girl fed them both a small piece before she crammed the rest of the pancake into her mouth and still managed an intelligible, “That’s it. No more. Go lay down.”

  “Oh, man. Syrup. Butter. I can’t even…” Rex licked his muzzle, sniffed the floor, and returned to the strip of open floor between the bed and the window.

  Luther stayed where he was and stared at the girl.

  Amanda laughed and forced an escaping mush of pancake into her mouth. “Didn’t you hear me?”

  Johnny snapped his fingers. “Luther.”

  “Yep. Got it.” The hound uttered a low whine and hopped onto the bed.

  She can definitely hear them. I don’t know if it’s kids or shifters or what, but I’d set my watch and warrant on it.

  The dwarf cleared his throat. “Did you hear that?”

  When the girl looked at him, he glanced briefly at the hounds.

  Amanda smiled as she lifted a handful of scrambled eggs to her mouth. “Yep. All of it.”

  I fuckin’ knew it.

  “Hear what?” Lisa looked up from her cell phone and glanced from the dwarf to the young shifter.

  “Siren about ten blocks north,” Johnny said off the cuff.

  “Twelve.” Amanda grinned at him and shoveled the eggs into her mouth.

  Little smartass too, huh? Okay.

  Lisa frowned. “I don’t hear anything.”

  “I’m tryin’ to make sure she’s still workin’ the way she’s supposed to. We don’t want her goin’ home with any issues we should have caught beforehand, yeah?”

  “The only issue I have is this empty plate.” Licking her fingers, Amanda scanned the breakfast tray and glanced around the room. “Do you have anything else?”

  Johnny shook his head. “I reckon you’ll get as much food as you want on the way out. You’re gonna have to settle for water now.”

  He pried the mini-fridge open with his boot, retrieved a bottle of water, and tossed it to her.

  “That’ll work.” She opened the bottle and downed almost all of it in one breath. Her loud gulps filled the silent hotel room. She lowered the mostly empty water bottle, shook what was left, and drained it. “Thanks.”

  The dwarf watched her intently as she stuffed the empty water bottle into the trashcan, turned, and flopped onto the bed beside Luther.

  She’s somethin’ all right. Exactly like Dawn. Maybe a little too much.

  He rubbed his hand over his face as Amanda patted Luther’s head and closed her eyes.

  “Johnny, can I talk to you out in the hall for a minute?” Lisa’s wide eyes betrayed her concern, although she kept her voice calm and even.

  “Yeah.” He pointed at the hounds. “No jumpin’, boys. And keep an eye on this one.”

  “Why?” Rex’s head popped up from the other side of the bed. “Look at her, Johnny. She’s not goin’ anywhere.”

  Amanda smiled, her eyes still closed. “We’re good.”

  “Uh-huh. I bet you are.” The dwarf turned to follow Lisa out of the room and slapped the bar forward to keep the door propped open. I’m gonna have to sit and talk about this with the hounds eventually.

  The door thumped against the metal bar to leave an inch of space in the doorway, and he folded his arms. “What’s up?”

  “I just got word that another team’s on their way to take Amanda into protective custody. They should be here in about twenty minutes.”

  He stared at her. “You don’t look happy about it.”

  “Probably because I’m not.” She shrugged. “Words matching facial expressions, right?”

  “Sure.”

  She glanced up and down the hall, then leaned toward him. “Look, Johnny. I’m…risking a lot by telling you this. My career at the very least. Maybe more. I don’t think—”

  “No way!” Amanda shouted. “Are you serious?”

  “Yeah.” Luther’s higher-pitched voice filled Johnny’s head. “He makes all kinds of things. Bombs. Guns. Little crawling doohickies. And these collars. Check it out.”

  “Cool…” The awe in the girl’s voice made his throat tighten.

  “So it’s not only you,” Rex added. “Johnny can hear us too. And we can hear him, obviously.”

  “Obviously.”

  He gritted his teeth and swallowed quickly. Great.

  “Man, these other hounds have no idea what they’re missing, you know? I mean, canines aren’t exactly the best conversationalists.”

  “What?” Amanda laughed. “I think you guys are doin’ fine.”

  Lisa frowned and leaned toward the slightly open door. “Is everything okay in there?”

  “Yeah, we’re good.” The mattress creaked under the girl’s shifting weight. “I’m watching TV. Some of this stuff is nuts.”

  “Okay.” The agent turned toward Johnny and frowned at him. “I hate to even think it, but what if the Boneblade…you know, did something to her we can’t see? She’s talking to herself—”

  The volume on the TV turned up and the sound of braying zebras beneath a narrator’s voice filtered into the hallway.

  Johnny fought back a laugh. Damn, she’s smart. She covers Lisa’s questions and keeps me from hearing those coonhounds talkin’ about me. I’m not sure I can get behind that one.

  “Johnny?”

  “She’s fine.” He shook his head and sniffed. “Kids are kids, right? They talk to the TV sometimes. Big deal.”

  “Right.” Lisa glanced at the time on her phone and grimaced. “I think we need to get outta here.”

  “What about protective custody?”

  “Yeah, that’s what I’m trying to tell you.” She slid her phone into her pocket and glanced at the ceiling. “I don’t think protective custody covers the full extent of…what the Bureau has planned for her.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “That’s new.”

  “Yeah, it’s… She has so many connections. Or at least Bruce Coulier did. And there’s still so much for these senators to lose if Amanda is taken by the wrong people again. Not to mention the shifter part. There aren’t many shifters in the Bureau.”

  He scowled and nodded slowly. “So what are you thinkin’ here? More like a house-arrest-forever type deal or moldin’ an FBI war hound by convincin’ her she owes them everythin’?”

  Lisa gestured helplessly. “Take your pick.”

  “Nah. I’ll go with Option C. Get your stuff.” Without waiting for her to reply, he shoved the door to his room open and stormed inside with a sharp whistle. “Look alive, boys. We’re hittin’ the road.”

  Amanda sat quickly and stared at him with wide eyes. She thumped the remote and the TV blinked off. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothin’ yet. But something will be if we don’t get a move on.”

  Luther hopped up and leapt from the bed. “What d’ya need, Johnny? Want us to bite off a few hands?”

  Amanda pointed at the hound. “Hey. I haven’t tried that one on a hunt yet.”

  “Real fun.” Rex trotted around the bed and sat in front of the nightstand to watch the dwarf packing his things into the duffel bag on the bedspread. “Especially when they scream.”

  “It’s the way the bones snap that gets me every time,” Luther added.

  “Are you guys messing with me?”

  “Nope.”

  “Uh-uh.”

  “We don’t mess around, pup. Not when it comes to huntin’ game.”

  “Yeah. Wild game. Monster game. Same thing.”

  Amanda chuckled and ran a hand through her hair. “Well, whatever you’re hunting, I think—”

  A brisk knock came at the door, and all four of them turned to look at it.

  “It’s me,” Lisa called.

  “’Course it is.” Johnny jammed his cleaning box into the duffel bag and zipped everything with a quick jerk. “Hey, kid.”

  “Yeah.”

  He looked at her and lowered his voice. “Let’s cool it on the whole
talkin’ to the dogs thing, huh?”

  “Why? They have so many cool things to say.”

  “Johnny, I like her.”

  The dwarf snapped his fingers and the hounds shut up. He darted another glance at the door. “Because until twenty minutes ago, I was the only one who could hear ʼem. And they were the only ones who knew it.”

  “Oh… Why haven’t you told anyone?”

  He snorted. “That’s a loaded question.”

  “What about Lisa? She’s your partner, isn’t she?”

  He swung his duffel bag over his shoulder and whistled at the dogs. “She’s not my partner.”

  “But I thought—”

  “Let’s leave the questions for after we get outta here. This isn’t the time.”

  Amanda slid off the bed and stared after him. “They’re coming for me again. Aren’t they?”

  “Not the assholes you’re thinkin’ of, kid. But it don’t matter who it is. I ain’t about to let anyone take you unless you give the go-ahead first.”

  “Good idea.”

  Johnny opened the door and nodded at Lisa. “Time to split.”

  “Amanda?” Lisa peered around the half-open door. “Are you ready?”

  “Not yet.” The girl stood beside the foot of the bed, her arms folded as she stared expectantly at the dwarf.

  He turned and snorted. “What are you doin’?”

  “Waiting.”

  “For what?” He made an exaggerated sweeping gesture toward the hall. “We don’t exactly have much time, kid.”

  Amanda raised an eyebrow.

  “Hey, Johnny.”

  “Shh.”

  Luther uttered a low whine. “But Johnny, you said no one was taking her without her go-ahead first.”

  Amanda glanced at the dog, then looked at Johnny and raised her chin.

  “Christ on a crutch.” Rolling his eyes, he extended a hand toward her. “All right, kid. Do I have your ever-lovin’ permission to take you with me out of this damn hotel so we don’t get caught in the crosshairs of a few chumps whose ugly mugs I’d rather not look at today or what?”