Go Dwarf Yourself

by Martha Carr

  As the dwarf trudged off down the hall, Amanda paused next to Lisa and muttered, “He didn’t say he wants you to stay.”

  The agent shrugged. “He did. In a Johnny Walker kinda way.” She looked at the girl and winked. “It’s good enough.”

  “I don’t get it.” Shaking her head, the shifter followed Johnny into the single guestroom after he jerked open the door and it swung against the wall with a bang.

  “It ain’t a penthouse suite or nothin’, but—what?”

  Amanda bit her lower lip and studied him.

  “Aw, shit. That’s my bad, kid.” He grimaced and gestured toward the room. “All I meant is there’s a bed and a dresser and a closet. Y’all might hafta share.”

  “I don’t mind.” Amanda turned and jumped onto the bed. The mattress bounced violently and squeaked beneath her. “It’s cozy.”

  “Yeah.” Johnny scratched the back of his head and scowled at the bedframe. “Cozy.”

  “I’ll stay for one night.” Lisa raised her index finger and nodded. “Then I have to get to the office to clean up my mess.”

  “Sure thing.” He rubbed his hands together and turned toward the bed. “Are you good here if we—”

  A loud, contented snore rose from Amanda’s open mouth, her arms spread beside her and her legs dangling over the edge of the bed.

  “Cozy. Okay.”

  Lisa stepped into the room with a knowing smile. “I’ll get her settled—”

  “Nah. You go on and take a load off.” A small, pained smile flickered at the corners of Johnny’s mouth when he looked at her without a hint of sarcasm. “This ain’t my first rodeo.”

  “Right.” Nodding slowly, she turned away from the room and pointed down the hall. “I’ll be…”

  She left without finishing the sentence, mostly because she didn’t want him to hear the lump in her throat. What are the odds? He lost his twelve-year-old daughter and now, there’s a girl the same age lying in that… Was that his daughter’s room?

  Johnny glanced at everything around the bedroom except the snoring Amanda and walked slowly toward the dresser. He slid the bottom drawer open and pulled out a thick weighted blanket in a purple-toned camo pattern. I knew there was a reason I kept this.

  Walking slowly toward the bed, he frowned at the idea of dragging Amanda toward the head of the bed. He grasped her legs instead and turned her sideways until her small frame stretched across the mattress horizontally. She didn’t stir once, even when he settled Dawn’s favorite blanket on the strong-willed girl who’d fallen asleep in this bed like she’d already been doing it for years.

  Once he’d tucked the blanket under her chin and made sure it covered her outstretched arms, he stared at her. “Right at home here, ain’tcha? Shit.”

  The dwarf rubbed his head and moved silently out into the hall. He left the bedroom door cracked slightly and wandered into the living room.

  Lisa sat on the black leather couch opposite the empty fireplace, her arms folded and one leg crossed over the other. “That’s a hell of a trophy.”

  He turned to look at the boar’s head mounted above the mantel and his antique rifle collection. “Yeah. I aim to switch that one out with a new boar’s head soon enough.”

  “You’ll find him, Johnny.”

  “I already found him.” The dwarf swallowed thickly and glared at the game trophy he’d brought home from one of the hounds’ first real hunting trips. “I coulda slit his throat too if I didn’t have someone a hell of a lot more important to pay attention to.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Nothin’. Come on. We’re goin’ for a drive.” He headed toward the front door again and she frowned at the boar’s head before she followed him.

  “We probably shouldn’t leave her here on her own.”

  “A kid who passes out that fast? She ain’t slept in a hot minute. We’ll be back before she’s up, I guarantee.”

  “But on the off-chance that we’re not…” Lisa paused at the door and peered inside. “If I’d been through what she’s been through, I wouldn’t wanna wake up in an empty house.”

  “The boys will take care of her, darlin’. Trust me. They’re better company for her right now than either of us.”

  When Johnny stepped out onto the front porch and caught the screen door before it could slam shut, she pushed the bedroom door open enough to peek inside at the sleeping girl. The sight of the purple blanket over Amanda’s body made her chest tighten. I can’t imagine what she’s been through. Or him.

  The sound of a diesel engine roaring to life outside ripped her from the moment, and she closed the door most of the way again before she hurried out to join the dwarf.

  She smiled, feeling lighter out in the warm spring air a little less muggy than it would be in two months from now, even in the Everglades. She stretched a hand to the passenger door of Johnny’s red Jeep, but it popped open before she could touch it.

  “Get on up, darlin’.” Johnny pulled his sunglasses out of his jacket pocket and donned them quickly.

  “We could take the rental, you know.”

  “Are you kiddin’? When I pull up in Sheila, everyone knows who’s about to step inside.” He snorted and nodded behind her at the sky-blue Acura parked on the dirt drive. “I thought I was gonna have to change my name and move to Wisconsin or some shit if anyone saw me in that.”

  “But no one did.”

  “And a good thing, too. Come on.”

  Chuckling, Lisa hauled herself into the passenger seat, which bounced alarmingly beneath her when she sat. “So this is Sheila, huh?”

  Johnny clicked his tongue. “Now why are you askin’ questions you already know the answer to?”

  “For fun, I guess.” She buckled her seatbelt and smirked at him.

  “You’re lookin’ for fun, huh? Just you wait, darlin’. You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.” He shoved the gear shift into reverse, accelerated across the drive in a spray of dirt and fine dust, and spun the wheel until they faced the dirt road leading away from the house.

  She caught her breath. “Maybe don’t—”

  The gear shift was pushed into drive, Johnny stepped on the gas, and Sheila rumbled away from the cabin. She pressed herself back against the seat and shut up.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  “What’d I tell you, huh?” Johnny scrambled out of the Jeep and swung the door shut, grinning as he whipped his keyring around his finger.

  Lisa stumbled out and steadied herself with a hand against the Jeep. “You told me that would be fun.”

  He stopped when he stepped around the hood and saw her standing there as if collecting herself. “You’ll get your land legs back in a shake. Speakin’ of which, I should take you out on the airboat—”

  “Why don’t we…stick to roads and tires for now, huh?” Running a hand through her hair, she straightened and gave him a warning look.

  Johnny’s eye twitched and he burst out laughing, doubling over to smack his knee. She couldn’t help but chuckle with him. “Tell me you know how to swim, darlin’.”

  “I know how to swim, Johnny.”

  He wiped a tear from the corner of his eye and smirked a little as he studied her curiously. “So what is it? Are you afraid of boats or somethin’?”

  “Only if you’re driving it.” They both laughed and he jerked his head toward the unmarked trailer on stilts on the opposite side of the gravel lot. “Come on. This is how we have fun in the Everglades.”

  “A trailer.”

  “Looks can be deceivin’ down here, darlin’. I thought you already realized that.” After another brief chuckle, he sniffed and thumbed his belt loops as he trudged across the gravel. “We’ll start small and then I’ll get you on that airboat. Just you wait.”

  “Uh-huh.” Lisa turned to search the mostly empty lot—two other trucks not nearly as big as the one parked in front of Johnny’s house, another Jeep, and a station wagon with a small fishing boat on a trailer hitched to the back. She sq
uinted and took a few steps back before she turned to follow the dwarf. What’s he up to now?

  “Are you gonna tell me what we’re doing here, Johnny?”

  “Why?” He stopped at the bottom of the stairs leading to the trailer and nodded at the door. “I’m about to show you.”

  “Of course.” Lisa rolled her eyes. “I don’t know what I was thinking. Johnny Walker doesn’t do surprises. He’s as straight-laced as they come. I have nothin’ to worry about.”

  “Well, I’ll say you got one outta three there.” Still smirking, he trudged up the stairs, which shivered under his boots as he climbed. “Roll with it, darlin’. You ain’t gonna find this on any tourist map, that’s for damn sure.”

  He waited for her to reach the top landing attached to the side of the trailer and wiggled his eyebrows at her as he took hold of the door handle.

  “I’m not sure I like that look.”

  “And I’m not sure I need you too.” He opened the door and stepped into the dimly lit trailer.

  Lisa looked over the side of the railing and scanned the empty lot in the middle of Nowhere, Everglades. She took a deep breath and followed him inside.

  The door creaked when it shut behind her, and she frowned at the inside of an actual diner that stretched the length of the trailer in front of her. The full-sized bar in the back was long enough for eight bar stools, three four-top tables filled the main space, and a two-top stood on the far end of the trailer beneath the only window that wasn’t covered with black-out curtains. “Wow.”

  “You know it.”

  “This is where you take someone for a date?”

  He looked sharply at her and frowned. “This is a date?”

  “Well, no. But if it were…” Lisa gestured toward the diner-trailer. “Seriously, come on.”

  “Huh.” He shrugged casually, gave her a half-smile, made his way slowly across the Formica floor until he reached the end of the bar. “Heya, Darlene.”

  “Johnny.” The round, red-faced woman behind the bar raised an eyebrow at him as she wiped a freshly washed rocks glass dry with a bar rag. “Who’s your friend?”

  “Darlene, Lisa. Lisa, Darlene. This woman makes the best damn fried catfish in…psh. What d’ya think? Two hundred square miles?”

  Darlene pursed her lips and her head wiggled on her squat neck as she twisted the glass repeatedly. “Did I do somethin’ to offend your sensibilities, Johnny? Or you puttin’ on a show?”

  “The best in the whole damn state,” another patron offered.

  The bartender glanced at the man with the white handlebar mustache and dark denim overalls seated at a four-top by himself. “Thank you, Arthur.”

  He raised his beer toward her in appreciation.

  “Hell, the best damn place in the South!” The man at the far end of the bar lowered his head and raised a sloshing glass of clear liquid as he swayed somewhat on the bar stool. “Ain’t no one can fry up any damn thing like you, Darlene. Not those fancy chefs, not my mama—”

  “You hush your mouth, Fred.” Darlene smacked her rag on the bar and Fred jerked his swaying head up to look at her. “Anyone who comes in here bad-mouthin’ their mama can keep on walkin’.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” The man lowered his head again and scowled at his glass.

  Johnny chuckled and climbed onto the second barstool over, leaving the first open for the agent. “I’ve been tellin’ her about that catfish, Darlene.”

  “Mm-hmm.” The woman glanced at Lisa and nodded. “Have you ever had catfish before?”

  “In Illinois once, I think.”

  “Ha!” The proprietor set the clean glass on the bar and tossed the rag over her shoulder. “Girl, that ain’t catfish. You watch. I’ll go fry you up somethin’ that’ll make you never wanna leave. What are you drinkin’?”

  Even as she asked, the woman had already pulled a bottle of Johnny Walker Black out and poured four fingers into the rocks glass before she slid it toward the dwarf. She didn’t look at him once.

  “Oh.” Lisa tried to peer over the edge of the bar and only saw a fridge filled with glass Coke bottles, Cheerwine, and Sprite. “What kinda beer do you have?”

  “No beer.” Darlene pointed at the trailer roof and the small overhanging runner across the ceiling. “Don’t have a license for any booze.”

  Lisa looked at the printed non-certificate in fading, handwritten ink that announced the lack of a license to sell alcohol. She turned on the barstool to look at Arthur as he guzzled the rest of his beer from the bottle. “I… Did I miss something?”

  “Get her an Everglades Iced Tea, Darlene.” Johnny nodded at the bartender, who responded with a coy smile as she reached beneath the bar.

  “Now that we do have.” The crack and hiss of a bottle opening filled the trailer, followed by the clink of a metal cap bouncing across the floor. Darlene set a frosty beer bottle in front of the agent and winked. “Catfish for two, Johnny?”

  “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He raised his rocks glass at the woman, who patted the bun of brown hair streaked with gray at the back of her head as she turned and stepped through the door behind the bar. The dwarf chuckled as he raised his glass to his lips.

  “So this is where Johnny Walker spends all his time when he’s not hunting in the swamp with his coonhounds, huh?”

  “You forgot to mention the workshop, darlin’.”

  “Oh, that’s right. Someone’s gotta put in all that time to make all kinds of high-tech bombs that look like portable speakers for a voice assistant. I almost expected to hear Alexa telling you to repeat the song request as you crushed monsters’ heads.”

  Johnny lowered his glass slowly and leaned forward over the bar before he turned his head toward her. “A portable what?”

  She fixed him with a disbelieving look. “Seriously?”

  “And who the hell’s Alexa?”

  With a chuckle, she raised the beer to her lips and muttered, “Forget it.”

  He shook his head and stared at the bar with a small smile. “I don’t spend all my time here, anyway. That’s Fred’s job.”

  The man jerked his head up and blinked blearily at the back of the bar with a grunt. “Pay’s shit but the coffee’s good at least.” He swung his rocks glass of whatever clear liquid he was drinking toward the two of them before his eyes fluttered closed again and his head dropped to his chest.

  “Huh.” She shook her head. “I guess every bar has one.”

  “This ain’t a bar, honey.” Arthur slid out of his chair, dropped a wad of bills onto the table, and wiped the beer foam off his mustache. “Darlene has a heart a’ gold openin’ her house and home up to any bastard lucky enough to find the place.”

  He winked at Lisa and hiked the pant legs of his overalls up before heading toward the front door. “Be good, Johnny.”

  “Johnny, be good!” Fred shouted and waggled a finger in the air.

  Everyone ignored the man.

  The dwarf smirked at the wall behind the bar. “Any time you want me to take a look at that rifle, Arthur…”

  “Man, if it ain’t broke, I ain’t tryin’ to fix it. And I don’t want you tinkerin’ with my stuff anyhow.” Chuckling, Arthur opened the trailer’s single front door. The hinges squealed and he let it clap shut behind him.

  Lisa could feel the vibration of the man’s footsteps down the exterior staircase through her barstool.

  The trailer fell silent enough that the clink of a metal spatula and the hiss of food on the grill and in the fryer rose behind the back door.

  She sipped her beer. “So now what?”

  “We wait for the catfish. Then we eat it. Then we leave.”

  She turned toward him with an exasperated smile. “I meant with Amanda.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “Do you have any plans?”

  Johnny snorted. “I’d have thought after forty-eight hours on a job with me, you would have realized the answer’s no across the board.”

  “
She’s not a job, Johnny.”

  “Don’t I know it.” He took another sip. “I guess I’m lettin’ the kid stay with me for as long as she wants to, at least.”

  “What are you gonna do with a kid?” Lisa regretted the question as soon as it left her mouth. She’s not the first kid he’s taken care of but you’d never know simply by looking at him.

  “Well.” He scowled and his mustache bristled above his upper lip. “I reckon I’ll raise her the way I was raised. In the Everglades.”

  “That’s a start. I guess.”

  He responded with a sharp laugh and shook his head. “Did anyone ever tell you that gettin’ smart with a dwarf isn’t the way to get him on your side?”

  The door from the kitchen opened and Darlene stepped out with a paper-lined basket of red plastic in each hand.

  Lisa grinned at him and raised her beer. “I don’t know. Is it working?”

  Johnny glanced at her, then clicked his tongue and knocked his rocks glass gently against her bottle. “It might be.”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  When Rex and Luther saw Sheila barreling up the dirt road onto Johnny’s property, they both uttered long, baying howls and darted around the side of the house.

  “Come on, pup!”

  “Yeah, keep up if you don’t wanna miss all the fun!”

  Amanda hurried after them, her bare feet flying across the low crabgrass and small stones that studded what served as a yard beside the cabin.

  “You can move faster than that!”

  “Not on two legs,” she shouted in response. And I don’t even know what the rules are around here about running on four. This’ll be weird.

  Sheila slid to a halt at the end of the dirt drive and the driver’s door opened a second after the diesel engine sputtered to a halt.

  “Johnny! Hey, Johnny! She’s up.”

  “We heard her snoring even from out back.” Rex sat and his tail swung across the dirt to flurry sprays of red-brown dust. “And now she’s up.”

  “And now you’re here.”

  “And now we get to do something fun, right?”