Pieces Of Us

by Elks, Carrie

  “I know.” Autumn blew her nose loudly. “But he shouldn’t take it out on me.”

  Ally smiled. “You’re one of the only ones he shows the ninety percent to. That means he trusts you.” She pulled out the chair next to Autumn’s. “But that doesn’t mean he should get away with it. You should definitely give him hell, nobody should talk to you like that. But maybe you can understand why he’s the way he is. He’s built up this armor to protect himself.”

  “Then you stripped the armor away,” Lydia said, patting Autumn’s hand. “And he panicked, like a wild animal.”

  “That’s a pretty good description of him,” Autumn muttered, remembering the hardness in his stare. “It was like he’d closed in on himself and was lashing out without thinking.” Another tear rolled down her cheek. “And it hurt.”

  “Of course it did.” Lydia hugged her. “You poor thing.”

  “So what are you going to do?”

  “Go home and go to bed, I guess.” Autumn looked at Lydia. “All your things are at Griff’s, but I don’t think I can go there. Can you go pick them up in the morning and bring them back to the cottage?”

  “Of course. But you’ll have to face him yourself some time.”

  “I can’t. Not yet.” Not without it hurting too much.

  “What’ll you do if you two never make up?” Ally asked. “Would you still stay here?”

  Autumn ran her finger around the top of her glass. She hadn’t touched a drop. The thought of it made her stomach tight. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “But it would be difficult if I did. Griff’s a tenant and I’ll have to work with him every day.”

  Her mouth was dry at the thought. Could she deal with seeing him every day knowing she couldn’t touch him, go home with him, laugh with him? So much of her time in Angel Sands had been spent with him, first as friends, then as friends with benefits, and now as…

  Nothing.

  The blankness made her heart ache. And the tears started to pour all over again.

  “I’m sorry, just ignore me,” Ally said quickly. “You don’t have to worry about any of that now.”

  “Of course she doesn’t.” Lydia checked her watch. “Hey, when was the last time you ate anything?”

  “I think I had some funnel cake late this morning,” Autumn croaked.

  “You should eat. You must be starving.”

  “I’m not hungry.” Autumn shook her head. “I think I’ll just go home and sleep. What time is dad’s plane home?” Her dad and Josh had beaten a hasty retreat to their hotel rooms at the Silver Sands Resort when it was clear Autumn didn’t want to talk to them. Mr. Carlsson was already on his way back to L.A.

  “At lunchtime tomorrow.” Lydia shrugged. “I’m supposed to fly out in the evening, but I can change it.”

  “No need to change anything,” Autumn told her. “I’ll be fine. And you’ve done enough for me already.”

  “Yeah, because all of this is my fault.” Lydia gave her a sad smile.

  Autumn smiled tenderly at her. “No it isn’t. We all know you can’t keep a secret. You’re an open book, and that’s part of who you are. It’s not as though it was some terrible thing, anyway. I got drunk, made a mistake, and then tried to fix it.” She shrugged.

  “I love you,” Lydia said, her own eyes watering. “So much. And if Griff has any sense, he’ll realize how much he loves you, too, and come crawling on his knees to beg you to take him back.”

  Autumn almost laughed at the image of Griff crawling anywhere. Only almost, though, because her heart was so bruised it hurt to do anything other than breathe.

  It was time to go to bed and sleep, because she had no idea what else to do. Maybe tomorrow would be a better day.

  * * *

  His head was pounding like somebody had taken a pick axe to it from the inside out and was determined to make a tunnel to the outside. It was only made worse by the shrill ring of his cell phone. A glance at the screen told him it was Jackson. He refused the call and tapped out a quick message that he was fine and he’d call him in the morning.

  Jackson’s reply flashed in front of his eyes. Fine. Hah. Whatever you say, pal. But yeah, call me tomorrow.

  After he’d left the pier, Griff had headed straight home, and moped the evening away on his couch, staring out of the window of his apartment at the ocean as though it held all the answers.

  If he’d been sober, he’d have climbed into his truck and driven out of town. Far enough that the sound of the people on the pier didn’t pierce his ears wherever he went. But he wasn’t sober, and his friends were all busy with their families, so instead he’d stood in the shower until his skin puckered up, trying not to look at the pretty bag of toiletries Autumn had left propped on his bathroom counter.

  Okay, so he looked. And in his inebriated state he might have unscrewed her shampoo and breathed it in, the smell of her hitting him viscerally as he thought about those words he’d said.

  Cruel words.

  Words that had made her eyes water and her lips tremble.

  Words he could never take back if he wanted to.

  And now here he was, nursing a hangover from day drinking and wondering how the hell things went wrong so quickly.

  From the moment he’d seen Autumn’s father and ex, he’d felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up. In their fancy, New York suits, their hair perfectly styled and gelled, they were the opposite to him. It made him feel lacking, and he hated that. As though he wasn’t good enough for her.

  Yeah, well he’d proven that from the way he’d treated her.

  Truth be told, he wasn’t good enough. He’d spent a childhood learning all about that. Not good enough to earn his father’s attention. Not good enough to feel his mother’s love. He was an irritation who occasionally came in useful.

  He looked at himself in the bedroom mirror, leaning his brow on the cool glass, and hating the reflection staring back at him. His heart physically ached, like it was going through some kind of major crisis. If he wasn’t so damn healthy and fit, he’d be worried he was having a heart attack.

  There was a loud banging at the door of his apartment, and his sore heart leapt a little. Was it her? Had she realized what a damn idiot he was? His breath caught in his throat as he raked his hair back from his face and strode out of the bedroom into the hallway. He didn’t bother to check the peephole, too desperate to get the door open.

  “Lucas,” he said, trying to hide his disappointment when he saw his friend standing there. “Everything okay?”

  “That’s what I’ve come to ask you. We’ve just finished at the pier and I realized I hadn’t seen you for hours. What’s up, man?”

  Griff stood to the side so Lucas could walk in, before he closed the door behind him.

  “You know what happened between me and Autumn?”

  Lucas gave him a short smile as they walked into the living room. “It’s a small town and everybody has a loud mouth. So yeah, I have some kind of idea.”

  Griff collapsed onto the sofa, and Lucas took the chair opposite. “I messed up.”

  “So I hear.” Lucas blew out a mouthful of air. “What were you thinking?”

  He wasn’t. That was the problem. His lizard mind had taken over, whispering in his ear with a hissing voice that it was inevitable that she’d leave. He wasn’t good enough for her, the same way he’d never been good enough for his parents.

  This was why he didn’t do relationships. He always messed things up and got hurt. Even worse, he ended up hurting other people.

  Autumn. Carla. He had a whole list of them.

  “She bought the pier when she was drunk.”

  “So? We all do stupid things when we’re drunk.” He gave Griff a pointed look. “What does that matter?”

  His heart was throbbing again. “It means she didn’t decide to come out here. It was a mistake.” His voice cracked. “That’s what she told her sister.”

  “So? People are allowed to change their minds.” Lucas’s
voice was thick with incredulity. “Autumn loves you. You only have to see the way she looks at you to know that. Like you’re some kind of giant knight riding on a dragon to save her.”

  “A dragon?”

  Lucas shrugged. “I figure you’d squash a normal size horse.”

  Griff would have laughed if he was capable, but the sound was trapped in his throat. “Did you see her ex? And her dad? They’re both here to help her sell the pier so she can go back to New York.”

  “And does she want that?”

  Griff blinked. “Why wouldn’t she have told me about it if she didn’t?”

  “I don’t know. This is all stuff you need to ask her, not me. But none of it makes any sense.”

  Griff dropped his head into his hands, his hair falling over his fingers. “She won’t talk to me. Not after the things I said.”

  “What did you say?” Lucas asked, folding his arms across his chest.

  “I told her to go back to New York and forget me.”

  “You really are an idiot, you know that?”

  “Thanks for reminding me.” Griff gave him a humorless smile. “And even if she wasn’t going back before, she will now after I’ve been such a douche.”

  “The world doesn’t revolve around you, you know? And for the record, her dad and her ex are flying back to New York tomorrow. Without her.”

  Griff lifted his head. “She’s staying?”

  “That’s what I said, numbnuts.” Lucas pressed his lips together in a firm line. “I suggest you crawl over to her place first thing tomorrow and start begging for her forgiveness. Because I’ve never seen you as happy as you’ve been in the past few weeks. Or so at ease with yourself. The two of you work.” He cleared his throat. “Or you did, until you went and fucked it up.”

  “She’ll never forgive me.”

  “She won’t if you don’t ask.”

  He slumped against the wall. “Yeah, well maybe she shouldn’t. She deserves somebody better than me.”

  “Who the hell is better than you? Jackson?” Lucas laughed. “Or the asshole she divorced before she came out here? You want to see her with one of them?”

  “No!” The thought of it made Griff want to hit something. Or someone. Preferably the smug asshole who broke Autumn’s heart.

  “Then go and talk to her. Tell her why you pushed her away. Apologize for it, make some damn amends. And if she still wants nothing to do with you?” Lucas shrugged. “At least you tried.”

  Griff exhaled. “Yeah. You’re right.” There was one thing he was sure of, he couldn’t let her go. It hurt too damn much. He needed her like he needed air.

  Lucas looked like he was going to say something more, but then his cell rang. Griff recognized the tone – the same one Lucas got whenever the station put out an emergency call to all of its firefighters.

  Pulling his phone from his pocket, Lucas glanced at the screen, frowning as his eyes scanned the message. Lucas slowly brought his gaze back to Griff, the expression making the pit of Griff’s stomach churn.

  “There’s a fire,” Lucas said, his voice strained. “At the pier.”

  And just like that, the bottom fell out of Griff’s world.

  28

  Autumn was sleeping next to a starfished Lydia when a loud shriek pierced her dream. An overwhelming volume of sirens cut through the silence of the night, making her heart hammer against her ribcage. She sat up and looked around, suppressing a chuckle when she saw her sister’s undisturbed slumber. Blue lights were flashing through the window behind her like a frenzied disco.

  Curious, she climbed out of bed and looked through the thick glass at the back of the house, blinking as the fire engines whizzed past. They continued north along the road until they were out of her sight, the high pitched alarms fading into the night.

  In her bare feet, she padded out of the bedroom and into the living room, perplexed when she could see an orange glow flickering through the window facing the beach. She licked her dry lips and pulled at the curtain, her feet frozen to the spot as she saw where the color was coming from.

  The pier was on fire.

  Large flames were licking up against the darkness of the sky, the grey smoke curling and dancing in the night time breeze. She wrenched open the door, and the sound of the blaze hit her. Little pieces of ash were drifting past the cottage.

  Without thinking, she began to run, her bare feet pounding against the cool sand. Her breath was short, panicked, and with every stride she completed, the heat of the air increased.

  It was every owner’s worst nightmare. The reason insurance was so damn high on the wood-and-iron constructions. In spite of the frothing ocean beneath, pier fires were a dime a dozen. Their materials were combustible, the construction and electrical wiring often out of date, and more than anything, they were hard for firefighters to access, meaning it took longer than usual to douse any flames.

  She was panting, her legs flying as she got closer still. Firefighters were pulling hoses from the engines parked at the base of the pier, their movements fast but considered, as they entered the burning edifice.

  As she got closer, she could see the fire was consuming Delmonico’s and her office. Everybody had left, hadn’t they? She remembered Pietro saying goodnight before she’d sat down with Ally and Lydia in the office. He’d locked up the restaurant and all his staff were gone.

  The fairground rides had been taken down and put back onto the trucks that had driven them away. The stage was still up, but she didn’t care about that. Her eyes darted this way and that as she scanned the pier, her chest screaming from the speed she was running.

  Then her gaze landed on the Ocean Explorer. Griff’s boat. He’d left the pier hours ago. Please god, don’t let him have come back for any reason. She blinked, her eyes watering from a combination of the smoke, salty air, and fear.

  The smoke was so thick as she reached the end of the pier, choking her lungs as she tried desperately to stop breathing it in. When she reached the boardwalk she slowed, lifting her gaze to the orange flames as tears rolled down her face.

  The heat scorched her nose and throat as she hurried along the wide concrete path. A crowd of onlookers had gathered, held back by caution tape the firefighters had placed. A few of them turned to look at her, blinking as she walked toward them. She looked down and remembered she was only wearing a thin tank and a pair of tiny sleep shorts, with nothing on her feet.

  With her hair tangled and knotted, she must' look like a crazy woman.

  What sounded like thunder rumbled ahead of her, even though there were no clouds in the sky. She looked to see Griff running at twice the speed she had, his face twisted with emotion as he reached her.

  “Thank god,” he said. “I thought you might be in there.” He pointed at the burning pier.

  She blinked back stinging tears. “I thought you might be, too.”

  He looked like he was going to hug her, but then he stepped back, shaking his head to move his hair from his eyes. Standing with the blazing fire reflected in his gaze, he looked every inch a wild man.

  “Do you know if there’s anybody stuck on the pier?” she shouted over the noise of the flames and the firefighters, fear clenching her chest in a vice grip. “I know Pietro went home, and everything looked empty when I left tonight, but…” she trailed off as she turned to look at the blaze again. Please God, don’t let anybody get hurt.

  “Not that I know of. I came with Lucas and he’s been briefed by the team. They think it was empty.”

  “Thank god,” she whimpered, her legs trembling. Her whole body quivered, as though the ground beneath her was vibrating. Her teeth started to chatter. Griff was looking over her shoulder at something, and she followed his gaze.

  “Oh Griff, your boat,” she said, clamping her hand over her mouth. It wasn’t simply her pier that the blaze was destroying. Those flames were eating up Griff’s livelihood, and the Delmonico’s, too. Her body shook uncontrollably as she watched the firefighters train
water onto the flames, trying to beat the blaze into submission.

  “Forget about the boat,” Griff said, his brows pinching together. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Of course it does.” A sob escaped her lips. “It was your grandfather’s fishing boat. You told me that. And Delmonico’s. All that history being destroyed.” Her teeth chattered as she spoke.

  “You’re cold,” he said, his voice strangely calm. “Here, take my shirt.” He deftly unbuttoned it and lifted it around her shoulders, but the shivers didn’t ease at all. She was finding it hard to breathe. Any air she managed to inhale felt like fire against her throat. Her chest rose and fell quickly in an effort to get the oxygen she needed.

  “I think you’re in shock.” Griff put his hands on her arms, rubbing them fast to try and get some warmth into her, but nothing in her was responding.

  In spite of the heat radiating from the pier, she felt so cold. As though ice had replaced the blood in her veins, and was freezing every organ. The tremors in her body increased, making her shake like crazy, her legs barely able to keep her standing.

  A moment later, they buckled beneath her, and she was falling to the concrete. That’s when she felt them – those strong, sure arms, wrapping themselves around her and saving her from impact.

  He lifted her against him with a whoosh, her frozen skin pressed against his heated chest. She turned her face against him, her skin desperate for warmth, as she tried to keep breathing.

  “Stay with me, baby. It’s going to be okay,” he murmured into her hair. She tried to mumble that she wasn’t planning on doing anything else, but the words froze against her tongue. The last thing she heard before everything turned black was Griff’s worried voice.

  “Any paramedics here?” he shouted out. “I need a goddamn medic right now.”

  * * *

  “Is Autumn okay?” Ally asked Griff as she and Nate carried crates of coffee over to the fire crews and onlookers.