Losing the Forbidden: Forbidden Series #2

by Lorraine, Tracy

  “Erica?” She falls down into the chair in front of me and drops her head into her hands. “Erica, what—”

  Looking up at me through her fingers, she sucks in a breath. “You know full well what a manipulative cunt he can be.”

  “What did he do?” Fury starts to seep its way through my body. The vibes I’m getting from her aren’t good, and I know that whatever happened is going to make me even more glad the fucker’s dead.

  “Let’s just say he used my weakness at the time against me.”

  A low growl rumbles up my throat as I stand with my hands on the desk. My fingers grip onto the edge, turning my knuckles white as I try to keep my head together. Just the thought of him manipulating someone else I care about makes me want to do some damage. I pin her with a look that has her sitting up straight in the chair. Tears fill her eyes, but I can tell she’s fighting to keep them from falling. Her bottom lip trembles as she continues twisting her hands together.

  “I…I can’t, Ben.”

  The sound of the office buzzer rings out as we stare at each other. My imagination is running wild right now. There’s not a lot I wouldn’t say Nick was capable of. I need her to tell me exactly what it is so I can stop thinking the worst.

  “What did he do?” She flinches at my cold tone, and I regret it instantly. I don’t want my anger at him to push her away, but I can’t help it.

  “I…I slept with him.”

  “You what?” I roar.

  “I didn’t have a choice.” Her voice is quiet and weak. There’s so much more to this than she’s letting on. Walking around the desk, I pull her from the chair and wrap my arms around her trembling body.

  “It’s okay,” I say softly when she fights to get away. She must realise she’s got no chance of overpowering me, because she soon gives up and relaxes into me for a few seconds.

  It’s only the click of the door opening that has us breaking apart.

  “He’s just in here,” Betty says, gesturing someone inside.

  Chapter Nine

  My brows draw together as I briefly wonder who’d be looking for me, but I soon get my answer when four people I was not expecting appear from behind Betty.

  “Holy shit.”

  The realisation that my worlds are about to collide renders me speechless as I stare at my two best friends and their girls.

  “Surprise.” Liv comes over to give me a quick hug. “You must be Lauren.” She says, pushing me aside when she spots Erica hiding behind me. “It’s so good to finally meet you.”

  “Oh, what? No…no. I’m Erica.”

  Turning, I can’t help but laugh at the look of disgust on Erica’s face at the thought of her being Lauren. “No need to look so horrified. You know you’d love it.” I give her a wink and she makes a show of pretending to throw up.

  “There’s not enough money in the world for me to go there, mate.”

  Dec and Liam stifle a laugh while Liv looks between the two of us. “I think we’re going to get on,” she says to Erica.

  I’m reminded of the similarities between the two women. Both have been my saviours at different points in my life. I’ll never be able to repay them for the support they’ve given me.

  “What the hell are you guys doing here?” I eventually manage to ask, once my shock has worn off.

  “Liv thought you might need a night out.”

  “You came all this way for a night out?”

  “Yeah, well…we might miss you,” Liam says, looking a little awkward.

  “It’s not same without you crashing around the house. You sounded like you needed some fun on the phone the other day, so I’ve organised a surprise.”

  Raising an eyebrow, I wait for Liv to elaborate, but she makes a show of zipping her lips shut. “All I can say is that tomorrow night you’re going to love us more than you already do. The only thing we need from you is the name of a club for after.”

  “No strip club, please.”

  Both Dec and Liam’s eyes widen, reminding me that the guy they’ve known for the last six years isn’t the one standing in front of them. “Shut up, you fucking love it, BJ.”

  “BJ?” Erica pipes up with a smirk playing at her lips.

  Falling down onto the chair behind me, I realise for the first time just how different my two lives are. Bringing them together is going to be weird as fuck.

  Dec and Liam’s eyes burn into my skin. I can practically feel them trying to work all of this out while the soft whisper of plotting female voices at the other side of the room floats around.

  “So, this is the family business then?” Dec asks, looking around the office. “It looks pretty flash for a builder’s office.”

  “That’s because it’s not just any builder’s office.” I give them both a brief run-down of what we do…or at least what we did before I disappeared.

  “Have you guys got somewhere to stay or…” I trail off. The thought of taking them home and immersing them in my life here makes me feel more on edge than I’ve experienced in a long time. I try not to think about why that might be, but I know all too well that I’m worried what they’ll think about meeting the ‘real’ me. The act I’ve put on around them became second nature. I hate that I’ve lied to them about my past and where I came from, but it felt right at the time.

  “No, we thought we’d sort something once we were here.”

  “Do you…uh…if you want, I’m sure Mum wouldn’t mind…uh…”

  “We’d love to meet your mum, Ben,” Nicole says softly. “Then we can always find a hotel later, right?” She looks to the others, who all nod, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

  “I’ll meet you out the front,” I say, as everyone files out of the office.

  “Are you okay?” I bend down slightly so I can look into Erica’s downcast eyes.

  “I’m a fighter, Ben. I’ve had no choice.”

  “That doesn’t make any of this okay.” Seeing tears starting to swim in her eyes again, I pull her against my chest and squeeze tight. Probably a little too tightly I realise when she starts to complain.

  “Go and spend some time with your friends.”

  “Come with us?”

  “No. I’ve got loads to do here. Someone needs to keep this place from going under.” Guilt hits me that it’s been left to Erica to take the lead. “No, don’t look at me like that. I didn’t say it to make you feel bad. You go and do your thing. Me and the business will be here when you’re ready.” I’m hesitant, but she soon starts attempting to push me towards the door. “We’ve all got a lot of work on our hands, but we’ve got a little time. Go.”

  “Okay, but we’ll be talking, Erica. Soon.” She tries to cover her fear, but I can see it in her eyes. “Everything will be okay.” With a small smile, I leave her in the doorway of the office. I’m not sure either of us believe the words that just came from my mouth.

  After joining the others outside, we head for home. Liv insists on coming with me while Dec follows behind on the short drive to the house where I grew up.

  I know she’s only concerned, but when Liv starts asking about Lauren, I keep my answers as short as possible. She sees through it though.

  “What are you hiding?”

  Glancing over, I find her staring at me, trying to figure me out. Feeling uncomfortable, I shift in my seat and try to change the subject.

  “Dec and Nic were able to get away from the shack then?”

  “Stop it. Stop trying to distract me. I just want to help, and I can’t do that if you won’t talk to me.”

  I bite my tongue and refrain from telling her that I managed just fine before she turned up and insisted on trying to find out more about me.

  “I slept with her. Happy now?”

  Liv gasps. “But you said she had a—”

  “I know. Trust me, I know. But it…it just happened.”

  “I told you she didn’t hate you,” she says with a laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

  “No, I’m pretty sure she d
oes. I’m also pretty sure she regrets every second with me last night.” I let out a long sigh as I recall her words this morning.

  Liv places her hand on my shoulder and squeezes gently. “Everything will be okay.”

  “How can you be so positive all the time?”

  “I just have a feeling. Fucking hell, is this where you live?” Her tone suddenly changes as I pull up to the gates in front of the house I used to call home and they open slowly. “You’re rich?”

  “I’m not, no. My mum is though, I guess. The only money I have is that arsehole’s dirty money.”

  A shiver runs down my spine as I’m reminded of some of the things Erica said to me earlier. The reality is that Mum might not have anything. My stomach twists and I feel sick at the thought of him leaving her and Lauren with nothing. After all the bullshit he pulled, that would just be the tip of the iceberg. I always suspected that he only married Mum to get his hands on the business and the money that came with it. Him leaving it on the edge of bankruptcy is only more evidence that I was right all along.

  Mum’s car is sitting in the drive as I expected, but I suck in a breath when I see another next to it.

  “Shit.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Lauren’s here. I thought she’d gone back home.”

  “We can go somewhere else. Find a hotel and meet later…”

  She trails off and I look over at her. She’s been nothing but incredible since we met. I’ll feel even more of an arsehole than I usually do if I turn them all away now. They’ve come here because they want to help. It’s time I stopped running and embraced the real me.

  “No, it’s fine. Come on.”

  I jump out of the car as Dec brings his van to a stop behind me. Liam nods and I give him a weak smile.

  “What are you so worried about? The guys will love you whether you’re surfing in Devon or running an empire in London. Just chill, yeah?”

  “Well, this wasn’t quite what I was expecting. It’s practically a fucking mansion,” Dec says, helping Nicole from the van.

  “I guess,” I mutter. I always knew we were well off; but having gone to private school with even more privileged and wealthy kids, my house never seemed all that impressive.

  They all follow me in, stopping to take their shoes off, unlike me who just traipses through towards the kitchen.

  “Are you sure that’s the best way to go about it?” I hear Mum ask as I get to the doorway.

  Lauren’s mouth opens to respond, but before she gets a chance, she must sense my presence. Her eyes find mine and anger twists her features. “I need to leave.”

  “Lauren, this is your home.”

  “No, Jenny. It’s your home.” She flicks another look my way. “And his. It’s best I get out of your way.”

  “Thank you, Lauren. For everything. I know your dad’s no longer…” she trails off, sadness clouding her features. “Just…don’t be a stranger.”

  I watch as they embrace while the others come to a stop behind me.

  When Lauren turns, it’s with tears filling her eyes. She keeps her head down as she walks my way, but at the very last minute, she looks up.

  There are so many things I need to say to her, mostly apologies, but all the words stay on the end of my tongue as our eyes hold. She looks tired. Exhausted. I know it’s not all my fault, but I feel the weight of it pressing down on my chest nonetheless.

  The atmosphere is heavy around us as we stare at each other. Reaching my hand forward, I brush my fingers against hers gently. Her eyelids flicker as our connection hits her, but she rights herself all too quickly and pulls her hand away.

  Someone behind me clears their throat, and I’m reminded that they’re there.

  “Shit. Mum, Lauren, these are my friends.” Turning, I introduce each of them. It’s not escaped me that I’m yet to fully explain to either Mum or Lauren where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing over the past few years.

  “N-nice to meet you. I’m sorry, but I need to…” Lauren’s voice cracks and she all but runs towards the front door.

  “Lauren…wait,” Liv calls, shocking the fuck out of me—and Lauren, too, if the look on her face when she turns is anything to go by.

  Liv races over and leans in to have a private conversation with a woman she’s never met before as if they’re best friends.

  Narrowing my eyes, I watch them for a few seconds before Mum welcomes everyone in and offers them drinks. Dec, Liam and Nicole just about manage to squeeze past me and into the room as I stand stock still, trying to figure out what Liv’s saying.

  I’m still staring when she gives Lauren a quick hug and watches her leave the house. She then turns to me and smiles like she was expecting me to be watching, but comes walking over as if nothing weird just happened.

  Reaching out, I grab her forearm as she tries to walk past me.

  “What the hell was that?”

  “It was nothing for you to worry about.” She gives me a wink before walking farther into the room and introducing herself to my mum.

  I watch from the corner of the room as my friends and Mum sit around the table talking as if they’ve known each other for years.

  I was a little worried what state we might find Mum in when we got here, but she looks good. Better than I’ve seen since I came home. She’s abandoned her glass of wine in favour of coffee with everyone else, and her smile is wide and genuine as she listens to Dec talk about Devon and what I’ve been doing.

  “Yeah, he’s an incredible surfer.”

  “Is that right, Ben?” Her question drags me from my own head, and I walk over and pull a chair out.

  “I’m okay. Dec and Liam are way better than me. I’m not really built for a board.”

  “Yeah, you have grown a little,” Mum says with a laugh. “He’s been back days and I know nothing. Tell me everything my baby’s been up to.”

  “Everything?” Dec asks, looking over at me with an evil smile playing at his lips.

  “No, she doesn’t need to know everything.”

  I’ve no idea why I was so nervous about this. I might have thought I was putting on an act in Devon, but I think maybe my friends have always seen through it.

  For the first time in a very, very long time, I actually enjoy spending a night in this house. It’s filled with warmth and laughter. It’s something I’m sure hasn’t really happened since my dad died, but suddenly it’s a home again. It’s just a shame one person is missing. The seat next to me at the table is empty, and so is a huge part of me, despite being surrounded by these incredible people.

  “Have you already got accommodation sorted for the night?” Mum asks.

  “No. It was all a little last minute. We—”

  “Stay here,” Mum says quickly, cutting Liv off.

  “Oh no. We don’t want to impose. We know you’ve got a lot going on right now.”

  “Don’t be silly. I won’t take no for an answer. It’s been so wonderful having Ben’s friends here and hearing about my boy. I couldn’t possibly allow you to leave. Let me go and make sure the guest rooms are ready for visitors.” Mum gets up and quickly leaves the room. I can’t help but think her having people to look after is going to help pull her from the dark hole she was falling into.

  “Your mum’s lovely, B…Ben.” Dec’s lips twist weirdly as he tries to wrap them around my real name. “BJ was never your nickname was it?”

  “No. Until you, I was always Ben.”

  “You should have said something.”

  “Honestly, I needed the separation from here.” Guilt hits me again at hiding so much of myself from my best friends.

  “Yeah, I think I’m starting to understand that. Why did you never tell us any of this?”

  “I didn’t leave under good circumstances. The less I had to think about it, the better.”

  “Why did you leave?”

  I smile at Liv, who’s kept my secret even without me being there. “My stepdad made me.”

&nb
sp; “Made you?” Nicole asks with her brows drawn together. “Why?”

  “I fell in love with his daughter and he found out. He paid me to—”

  “He what?” comes from behind us. Turning, I find Mum clinging onto the doorframe for support, her eyes wide as she stares at me, willing me to tell her that I’m lying. “Ben? Is that true?”

  Letting out a breath, I look over at my mum’s distressed face. “Of course it’s true. Did you really think I’d leave you both willingly?”

  She sags against the wall, and both Liam and I are up and off our chairs to catch her.

  “He paid you?” she whispers, looking up at me with sad eyes once we’ve got her settled on a chair.

  “He did. But it wasn’t the money that forced me to go.”

  “W-what was it?”

  Looking up to the ceiling, I battle with how much I want to tell her. I know she deserves the truth, but the last thing I want to do is hurt her. She’s already suffered enough pain. I look around at all the sets of eyes staring at me, and I feel awful for her finding out this way. We should have had this conversation in private, not in front of people she hardly knows. But I can’t help feel that it’s better to get it all out in the open.

  Looking away from her, I swallow and consider my words. “He threatened you and Lauren. He said he had enough evidence that you…hadn’t been faithful. That he could take everything.” Mum’s face pales and she swallows nervously; it’s all I need to know it’s true. “If I didn’t walk away, he was going to take the business, the house, everything, and leave you with nothing. Both of you. I couldn’t risk it. After Dad, I just couldn’t—”

  “You really loved her, didn’t you?” she manages to croak out, taking the focus away from her.

  Feeling everyone’s eyes turn on me, I swallow down the lump that’s growing in my throat. “I still do.”

  “You need to fight for her, Ben.”

  Not able to look into Mum’s heartbroken eyes any longer, I push the chair out behind me, swipe a beer from the fridge, and head out to the garden. Watching her reaction to the truth about her husband on top of Erica’s confession this afternoon is just getting a bit much.