Dukes and Ladders: A LitRPG/Gamelit Adventure (The Good Guys Book 5)

by Eric Ugland

  “This is,” he started, talking slowly, “unexpected and unprecedented. What quest did you complete for this?”

  “A bunch of settlement type quests.”

  “And you said these are for any skill?”

  “Any skill I select.”

  “For you.”

  “No, technically these are for others.”

  “Anyone can use these?”

  “Yes. How much did you drink last night?”

  “More than I should have, considering my current constitution level.”

  With a quick reach into the bag, I presented Nikolai with one of the bonus attribute point vials. He didn’t take it, but he stared at it for a minute.

  “Put that away,” he said.

  “Why?”

  “I’m not going to take it.”

  “You should.”

  “There are others who it will serve—”

  “You’re way behind where you were, and—”

  “I will never match the point where everything was stolen from me, and—”

  “You could try.”

  “There are others—”

  “Yeah, but you’re my choice to get it.”

  “Montana, listen to me—”

  “Dude, I’m the duke, and your hirð,” I paused, brain faltering a moment. “What’s my position in the hirð called? Hirðmaster? Chief hirðman?”

  “Usually king.”

  “Well shit. I’m in charge, man. So do what I say.”

  “Go fuck yourself and listen to your chief advisor if you value him so much.”

  “But Lee isn’t here.”

  “Funny.”

  “I try. Tell me, why not take the attribute points?”

  “Because my main abilities are not physical any longer. I can just as easily instruct others in swordplay with my current attributes, and my mind is still as keen as it ever was.”

  “And yet it could be keener.”

  “Have you not pulled your head from within your voluminous anus long enough to realize how problematic it is having a singular powerful individual within a large group of people?”

  “Voluminous anus?”

  “You are hugely powerful, and yet we still faced the end of our settlement because you were lured to the riverbank by a woman and went swimming.”

  “She pushed me.”

  “What is her strength that she was able to push you, mister over-one-hundred?”

  “I was surprised.”

  “Hell, Montana, I’m sure we were all surprised she was able to do that. But if we had another individual who was as powerful as you, they would not have been able to trap us as easily. And if we had three people who were as powerful together as you are alone, we would still be a force to be reckoned with. And we would be able to do so much more than what we currently are. One giant is not as powerful as a village.”

  “Are you sure about that? Haven’t giants destroyed villages—”

  “It is a saying, Duke Coggeshall. Giants have destroyed villages, but they have not destroyed the Empire. Do you think that is because the Empire is constantly filled with legendary heroes?”

  “No.”

  “No, it is not. It is filled with regular men and women who band together to fight off great evils. We will be better served spreading these gifts out amongst our population than hoarding them to one or two people.”

  “Okay, fine. But be honest with me for a moment: aren’t you a little tempted to take all these vials yourself? Take all these skill books yourself? 350 skill levels. You’d be the greatest swordsman that ever existed. Greatest whatever. And with 147 attribute points to spend, you’d—”

  “Of course it intrigues me, yes. But skill levels gained in such a way are not equal to skill levels earned. The swordplay that has been drilled into me is more natural and fluid than any granted by gods. And likely more diverse.”

  “Fine,” I said. “I said I would take your advice, and I will. I will put these in the treasury for now, and when you are ready to advise me on what to do with them, you let me know.”

  “Thank you for trusting me.”

  “There’s one more thing we need to put in the treasury. And this is just between me and you, okay?”

  “Show me.”

  I pulled out the small glass orb, the love potion, and I set it as delicately as I could on the wooden tabletop.

  Nikolai peered at it, then used his fork to move the orb around a little, looking at every facet of it.

  “It resists my attempts to identify it,” Nikolai said. “Is this also a quest reward?”

  “It’s more like a bonus reward sort of a thing.”

  “And what does it do?”

  “Apparently it’s a love potion.”

  Nikolai snatched his fork away and leaned back from the table. “Is this for real, or a gods joke?”

  “I mean, it’s from the same dude who gave me most of my boons, so I have no reason to doubt it.”

  Nikolai couldn’t take his eyes off the orb, but he very clearly wanted as much to do with it as I did.

  “What are your plans regarding that?” He asked.

  “Burn it with fire?”

  “But it is a gift from a god, correct?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then I doubt fire will harm it.”

  “Is there a place called Mount Doom anywhere nearby?”

  “I know of no such named place. Nor would I imagine anyone naming anything to be quite so obvious.”

  “Seems harsh. How about another volcano, perhaps one with a more appealing name?”

  “To my knowledge, there are no active volcanoes within the Empire. But I think we are taking the wrong track with this discussion. Destroying this, well, bauble is not what our aim should be.”

  “Hiding it and never using it?”

  “While it does have certain immoral implications, perhaps there is some future situation in which this ‘love potion’ will serve a vital purpose.”

  “So I should just keep it on me in case I find someone who needs to love me.”

  “Better than keeping it somewhere here.”

  Reluctantly, I slipped the bauble back into my bag.

  “Is there anything else you got as a reward?” Nikolai asked, eyeing my half-finished bowl of gruel like it was a fresh pile of bacon.

  I slid the bowl over to him, and he tucked in.

  “Yeah, I mean, sort of. I got this taming thing,” I showed him the other glass ampoule, “and I got some information.”

  “What kind of information?”

  “You know how I’m, like, connected to a few gods. Kind of like a chosen one?”

  “You are no chosen one.”

  “Sure, okay, but you know—”

  “I know. Go on.”

  “That Titus guy was like me to some other god, and it sounds like that god is going to send some pain our way because of what we did to Titus.”

  “Because we killed him? He was going to enslave us.”

  “Just passing on the information.”

  “With the first of the Legion here, my concerns over our security and our army are diminishing on the daily. Especially because—” he stopped, looking over my shoulder.

  I followed his gaze, and saw that people were trudging inside. Given the leaves and needles on their faces and in their hair, it was fair to say the weather was deteriorating. And that last night’s shindig had taken its toll.

  “What were you saying?” I asked Nikolai.

  Meeting my eyes, he shook his head once. Whatever he’d been about to say, he didn’t want it to be public knowledge.

  “As it stands,” I said, “I still think I need to make a trip around the valley. We have to know what’s out there.”

  “You are still planning on taking Amber?”

  “I think it’s a good idea.”

  “I would like to see if there is a ranger among the group who just arrived. The three of you will make a much better team out there than just two. And though you h
ave the ability to complete whatever quest you come across, and I trust you will bring Amber back alive, another ranger would actually facilitate training Amber as a ranger.”

  “Hey man, no complaints from me.”

  Again, Nikolai nodded once.

  “Then,” he stood up, “unless there are other surprises, you should leave tomorrow at first light.”

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  While moseying in the direction of our first storehouse, I almost got run over by Lee and Darius. More Darius than Lee. They were practically running to the barn.

  “Whoa,” I said. “Where’s the fire?”

  “No fire,” Darius replied, “but lots to do.”

  Lee nodded enthusiastically, a big smile on his face.

  “What could be so important right now?” I asked.

  “Getting the caravan out the door before too many people wake up.”

  “Are you two going?”

  The two looked to each other, then one slowly shook his head, and the other followed suit a heartbeat later.

  “I’m not going,” Lee said, “but Darius is. Still, I wanted to get the caravan out, and I’ve kind of got a long list of items I’d like to have on the next shipment back, and if everyone else gets to add their two cents, it’ll be too much stuff to get.”

  “Same story,” Darius said. “But most of what I’m requesting is for the animals.”

  “Doesn’t someone need to approve all this stuff?” I asked.

  “Like the treasurer?” Lee replied with a giant smile.

  “Ah. Now I see. What is it you’re taking to trade?”

  “Well, as treasurer, I’ve been overseeing a small project wherein some excess coinage is, well, converted back to basic metals.”

  “You’re melting down the coins?”

  “Not the imperial coins.”

  “And now we’re sending a wagon full of gold—”

  “And Platinum.”

  “Right, how could I forget, you’re sending that—”

  “To the capital. There are also a few chests with some precious stones and some of the non-magical jewelry.”

  “How much of the treasury are you liquidating?”

  “Roughly 35 percent.”

  My eyebrows shot up.

  “I know what you’re thinking—” Lee started.

  “If you were, you probably wouldn’t have done this.”

  “It’s not as bad as it sounds. Mostly, we’re trading this not-that-useful stuff for Imperial Coin. We’re also buying a ton in the way of resources and tools which will allow us to produce trade goods. And, significantly, we are getting food. Lots of food.”

  “And animals,” Darius added.

  “Animals?” I asked.

  “Yes,” Lee replied. “Cows, pigs, that sort of thing.”

  “And they’re coming all the way from the capital?”

  “Some are, but not many. More are coming from local farmers who want to be paid in Imperial coin, and we’re getting a sweetheart deal because we are also carrying some goods for them to the Capital, and bringing back some choice items. But, for that to happen, we need funds.”

  “I got you funds.”

  “Right, but the job of a treasurer is not just to sit upon a hoard and do nothing with it. That’s the job of a dragon. I’m using the money to grow more of it.”

  “Don’t you think that should have been a conversation with me?”

  “I did. But, instead, I had a conversation with Nikolai, and he thought you’d be bored by that sort of a conversation.”

  “He said what?”

  “He said you were busy.”

  “Sounded like he said I’d be bored.”

  “My memory on that exact phrase in the conversation is a little fuzzy.”

  “Unfuzz it.”

  “I’m not sure that’d be the best action here,” Lee said, backing away. “You might ask Nikolai, he’d probably know.”

  I turned around, stomping towards the cantina, ready to rip Nikolai a new one. But I realized I didn’t care that much. The micromanagement of settlement funds actually was a complete bore to me, which was why I was happy to pawn the job off on Lee. Why try and get more involved now?

  I tried to find Lee to apologize for getting angry, but he and Darius had already disappeared, likely into the barn. I could’ve gone in there after them, but I realized I had other things I needed to do before I went off on my little walkabout with Amber and the mystery ranger, and Lee needed to get Darius all set so Darius could venture out beyond our valley to get supplies.

  Notably, I had to sack up and talk to Amber about the whole going out into the wilds with me and level up.

  Amber was hard to find. Especially when there were so many new people about. I lost track of her for almost a week when the Dwarves arrived. And after the whole disaster with Titus, any sight of her was fleeting. Like me, she seemed to eschew sleeping in the Longhouses, but I never saw her outside.

  Standing there, I thought of something, and turned around.

  The roving carpet of prinkies stood there. Usually, I gave them some superfluous task as soon as I’d eaten breakfast, hence why the village was so absurdly clean at the present. But today, I had a new task for the prinkies, one I had yet to assign them, so I was curious to see how it went.

  “Go find the kitsune-girl, Amber,” I said.

  There was the momentary wait as the order penetrated their tiny magical minds, and then they were off. Every single prinky ran in a different direction. Which would have been more effective if they had looked to see where their brethren were going. Instead, it was a giant clusterfuck as they all ran into each other and of course started fighting over who had the right of way. There was much chirping and flying fur before they were finally off.

  I pulled an axe out of the bag, and headed out of the gates into the forest to chop down some wood. A little light lumberjacking to relieve the stress.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Round about mid-morning, I headed back into the camp, dragging a few trees behind me. Some of the new residents gave me very strange looks as they saw me. I took the trees to the sawmill, then took a look at the lumber storage, and tried to get an idea of what else needed to be built in the growing city. I wanted some better observation capabilities. Looking at the crane still operating out of the middle of the mountain wall, I figured we could probably get some sort of ledge built a few hundred feet up. Of course, climbing that high up would probably be an issue for most anyone except me, and then I’d never hear the end of it. Which meant elevators. I wondered how difficult elevators were to build and engineer, and I headed off in the direction of the barns, thinking I’d find Lee there.

  Instead, I got found by a prinky. Who started chirping wildly. Then other prinkies came towards us and formed a line.

  As I moved, they moved. The line followed me where ever I went. It was weird.

  I was tempted to un-summon them because they were creeping me out, but I realized they were being weird for a reason. I snapped my fingers as I remembered that I’d told them to find Amber. So this had to be their way of showing me where she was. I walked along the line of prinkies. Sure enough, they started rolling up, tightening the line as I followed. The line led through the town, snaking this way and that, until it came to a tall oak tree nestled near the western edge where our constructed wall met the mountain. The prinkies stood at the bottom of the tree, one looking up into the branches. He was the sole non-mover among the prinkies, just standing there, staring.

  So I stood next to him and stared up.

  Amber was glaring at the prinky from the comfort of a tree fort. Of sorts. It wasn’t overly large, little more than a platform 15 or so feet off the ground, with a roof of sorts and the frames of a planned wall.

  “Prinkies,” I said sternly, “go bring shiny pebbles to Nikolai.”

  A moment as they digested the orders, and then they were off. I scrambled up the tree, and sat on a branch to the side of Amber’s tree
house.

  “Sorry about them,” I said. “Cute but annoying.”

  “Yes. They certainly are,” she said. ”What are you doing here?”

  “Looking for you.”

  “You found me.”

  “Like your place here,” I said, looking at the mostly empty platform. “Real, uh, well, it’s a nice enough location, provided no one decides to shoot arrows over the wall.”

  She looked over her shoulder at the other side of the wall.

  “I am pretty well hidden.”

  “I mean, now,” I said. “But you realize what happens during fall, right?”

  It dawned on her, and her face fell. “Fuck.”

  “I know,” I said. “Really gets the best of us.”

  “How did I not realize this?”

  “I mean, have you lived a sheltered life in a city? Maybe one that’s basically surrounded by big pine trees that—”

  “I want to be a ranger, and I forget that oaks lose their leaves in the fall?”

  “We all make mistakes.”

  “A farmer does not forget to plant in the spring!”

  “See, you remembered that.”

  “I am no farmer.”

  “Well, to be fair, you aren’t a ranger either. Yet. Big point there, that yet.”

  She glared at me, clearly not amused by the distinction.

  “Dude,” I said, leaning into the trunk, “you want to be a ranger. You’re going to be one. We’re going to make sure of it. You won’t have to go back to whatever job you had that made you so willing to get away from Osterstadt, okay?”

  She frowned, and pulled a leaf from her hair, then let it drop. It fluttered lazily to the ground. Then she peered at me, and I met her gaze. She seemed to search for something in my face. Whatever it was, though, she found it, and she exhaled slowly, and let a small smile come across her face.

  “Thank you,” she said.

  “Might be a bit early for that,” I replied.

  She laughed a little, and I couldn’t help smiling with her.

  “My kind are not often given the opportunity to follow their dreams. But you — I think you are different.”

  “That’s what people keep telling me.”