Magic and Misrule (Mishap's Heroes Book 1)

by KM Merritt

  Vola tilted her head. It didn’t look any worse than a bad sunburn, but just to be safe, she laid her hands along the skin and whispered, “Lady bless.”

  Light flashed under her fingers and the woman breathed a sigh. Vola’s leg flared with pain, then subsided to a dull ache.

  “Is anyone else hurt?” Vola asked as she climbed to her feet.

  “Er,” the wizard in the tree said.

  “No.” Braydon stooped to pick up the rest of his plate armor which was scattered across the seared grass. “What are you doing here?”

  Vola’s eyes narrowed at his tone. “The same thing you’re doing here. Looking for the missing townsfolk.”

  “Go home, monster,” Braydon said. “Come on, people. We’ll try west this time.”

  “Er,” the wizard said.

  Talon came up beside Vola. “I know monsters,” they said. “Funny how most of them look like you.”

  Braydon’s face went red, then white.

  Vola ground her teeth. West, he’d said. They had no idea where they were going either. And Vola had been afraid they’d beat her party to the tor. A savage spike of satisfaction lit her insides, and she almost bid them good luck and walked away.

  Almost.

  But the stuffed rabbit still hung from her belt, looking shabby and limp without its owner. In the end, what mattered was finding the townspeople. That was her mission. Not beating Braydon to it. If he got to them first, the council representative would keep her from getting her shield for sure. But at least the missing people would be safe.

  Her hands clenched, nails leaving divots in her palms, before she forced them to relax.

  “Head east,” she said with a growl. “To the tor. We had a tip that there have been some strange lights appearing there at night. We think they might be related to the kidnappings.”

  “Hey, that was our lead,” Sorrel said.

  Vola leveled a glare at her. “Our goal is to rescue the townspeople. It doesn’t matter who does it.” She didn’t mention that half her anger was because she had the horrible feeling this was the wrong decision.

  Braydon sneered. “And why should I believe you? You’re probably just sending us in the wrong direction. That representative from the paladin council said you weren’t to be trusted. That you would do anything to earn your shield. Even cheat.”

  Red beat at the edges of her vision, threatening to swamp her, and her palm itched on the hilt of her sword.

  She took a couple of deep breaths and sheathed her sword deliberately. She couldn’t be tempted to cut his head off if she didn’t have a blade, could she?

  “You don’t know me, so I’ll let that slide,” Vola said carefully. Calm, calm and eventually the rage would go away. “But we just pulled your asses out of the fire. If I cared that much about beating you, I would have ignored all your screaming.”

  A miniature lightning bolt snaked down and struck one of the dead blossoms.

  “Seriously, what is with that?” Sorrel said, glaring at the sky. “Are freak thunderstorms normal here?”

  “Er,” the wizard said again, clutching his robe around his fiddly bits. “I’m not hurt but…”

  Vola tossed her belt knife to Sorrel, who caught it deftly. The halfling scampered up the tree, swung from one arm, and chopped the vine holding the wizard.

  He plummeted to the earth with a squelch.

  Vola turned to her party and jerked her head toward the east. “Let’s go. We still have an entire day to get to the tor.”

  “Wait,” Braydon said. When she turned back, she caught a calculating look on his face before he plastered on a pleasant smile.

  “What?” she snapped.

  He held up his hands. “I can see you really do just want to help people. There was someone who needed some help. That way.” He waved to the south. “Some sort of merchant who got lost in the swamp. Huron saw him this morning just before the plants attacked. We don’t have time to help him, but…”

  He held out a palm as if to let her finish the thought for him. He grinned wide and sickening. “Would you do it for us?”

  Vola tried to decide if this was some sort of trick, then realized of course it was a trick. He knew she had to help anyone who asked. He knew it would slow her down.

  But just because she knew he was doing it deliberately didn’t mean she could ignore him.

  Braydon must have seen something in her eyes because his smile grew wider and he barked an order at his party. They packed up and left, the wizard tugging his robe straight again and the woman limping.

  At the edge of the clearing, the other ranger glanced back at them and nodded, either as thanks or good luck Vola couldn’t tell and didn’t care.

  “We don’t actually believe him,” Lillie said. “Do we?”

  Vola paced from one end of the clearing to the other, kicking a dead blossom out of her way. The part that stung the worst was the way he’d smiled. He had her pegged, and he knew it. Vola knew it, too.

  “I still don’t know why we helped him,” Sorrel said with a sullen frown that did not sit well on her cheerful face. “He’s just going to think he can keep walking all over us.”

  “Like feeding a troll,” Talon said. “They just get bigger and meaner.”

  “Would everyone just stop.” Vola paused in the middle of the clearing, breathing hard. She couldn’t make her decision with all the outside voices muddying up her mind.

  Henri waited, leaning against a tree, arms crossed, scarred shield laying at his feet.

  Vola didn’t mean to stare. But watching Henri always steadied her.

  “We helped him because we had to,” she said. “The way we have to help this merchant.”

  “What?” Sorrel said.

  “We’re believing him?” Lillie asked.

  Talon just watched.

  “Look, a paladin can’t take the time to choose between good for one person and good for another. If Braydon is going up the tor to find the missing townsfolk, then we can take the time to help someone else.”

  Sorrel glanced at Lillie. “Yeah, but—”

  “Look, do we want to be people like them?” Vola gestured west after Braydon’s party. “Or do we want to be people that do the right thing?” Vola drew herself up and met Sorrel’s eyes, then Lillie’s. Then she looked in Talon’s direction, hoping the ranger was paying attention.

  Sorrel sighed. “Well, when you put it that way…”

  “Lead on, Miss Volagra,” Lillie said. “We will follow.”

  Talon’s hood nodded.

  Vola’s breath blew out. “Good. Great. Let’s get this over with then.”

  “Hmm, sounds a lot less heroic now,” Sorrel said.

  Thirteen

  It turned out Braydon hadn’t been lying. Not far south of the clearing where they’d saved the other party, a cry for help threaded through the trees.

  Between two large trees, a man in a ragged hat treaded water in a murky puddle. Vola could easily see how he’d fallen in. The green scum across the surface would look just like moss when the water was still. Right now, it was heaped in little wavelets while the man thrashed and clutched at the roots of the trees. Nearby on firm ground, a vaguely horse-like shape grazed, but Vola didn’t have the attention to spare for the animal.

  She stopped beside the tree, testing each footstep to be sure she wouldn’t go for a swim, too, and poked her head around the trunk.

  “Need some help?” she said.

  “Ah!” the man cried, then he lost his grip and slid under the surface of the water. He came up spluttering several feet away. “Ack, pluh. Um, hello! Why yes, help would be lovely.”

  “Talon, hold my belt.” Vola stepped to the biggest root she could see and leaned over the water. Talon hooked a hand through the back of her waistband.

  The man lunged and went underwater again before his fingers clutched Vola’s. He slipped twice before she managed to grasp him around the wrist and pull.

  With one yank, she hauled him out
of the water and up onto the roots.

  The breath left his lungs with an audible whoosh as he landed. He slipped and scrabbled across the roots to firm land.

  There he collapsed into a wet heap against the limp grass. “Thank you,” he said. “From the bottom of my heart.” He pressed both palms to his chest.

  “Er, right,” Vola said. “You’re welcome.”

  Henri stepped up, leading the horse-like creature by the reins.

  The man lunged backward. “Ah!”

  “You’re kind of a jumpy fellow, aren’t you?” Sorrel planted her hands on her hips.

  “Yes, sorry.” The man lurched to his feet and brushed off his knees. It didn’t really help. His clothes were soaked through and stained with green. “Thank you again.”

  “What are you doing out here, Mister…?” Lillie trailed off.

  He doffed his cap and bowed. “Redderick Ranser, at your service. I sell the finest horses west of the Firewall Mountains.”

  The four of them turned to look at the “horse” Henri had grabbed. They all tilted their heads in unison.

  The beast looked like a sway-backed cross between a donkey and a swamp lizard with a head cold. Dull gray-green scales covered its body, and a viscous liquid dripped from its severe under-bite. Instead of a mane, it had a stiff crest of filmy skin that stood up a couple of inches from its neck and head. Claws instead of hooves flexed in the mud. It wheezed, then its tongue slithered out from between scaly lips to taste the air.

  They all leaned back.

  “Horses, huh?” Sorrel asked the salesman.

  “Well, most of them got eaten by the swamp.”

  “Did the swamp spit this one back out?” Vola said.

  Henri made kissy faces at the monster. “Aw, he’s a big sweetheart.”

  The creature butted Henri with its broad head and made wet snuffling noises against his shirt. Henri chuckled and scratched it under the chin.

  Redderick tapped his lip, and Vola noticed little scars criss-crossing his hands, some of them brand new. “I’ll tell you what,” he said. “I was headed back to town. How about I give you my last specimen? As a thank you for saving me.”

  “No, that’s okay,” Vola blurted.

  “No, no. I insist. It’s the least I can do. And if you’re going to be traveling through the swamp, this newest breed is actually the perfect companion. Resilient to damage, easy to feed and water, it forages on its own, especially in its natural habitat. And…” He paused for dramatic effect. “It carries twice its own weight in gear. I’m practically giving it away.”

  “You are giving it away,” Lillie said.

  “All the better for you, then.” He took Vola’s hand and shook it vigorously. “Wonderful. I’m sure it will be very happy with you.”

  Vola frowned heavily. “I didn’t say yes.”

  “But you didn’t say no either.”

  “Yes, I did.”

  “What?” He held up a hand to his ears. “Sorry, can’t hear you. I’ve got water in my ear.” The creature swayed toward him, and he leaped out of the way. “Pleasure doing business with you,” he said, an octave higher. “Thanks again for the help. I’ll just be on my way then.”

  He trotted off in the opposite direction of Water’s Edge and ran into a tree that spun him around. He righted himself, glancing up at the branches in surprise, then disappeared between the trunks, still dripping.

  They heard a splash and a yelp.

  Henri sighed. “I’d better go guide him back to town,” he said and passed Vola the reins.

  “What?” she said. “You’re leaving?” Her safety net! After the last two days it was looking less hypothetical and more inevitable that she would need him.

  “It’s either that or you’re just going to have to backtrack to pull him out of the swamp again,” Henri said. “This way you can keep heading toward the tor. I’ll catch up when he’s safe on the path back home.”

  And then he slung his shield over his shoulder and strode off toward the sounds of splashing.

  Vola started to protest and then thought better of it. She was supposed to be leading this quest by herself, anyway. That was the whole point. The final test. If she was too scared to let Henri out of her sight, then she wasn’t ready to be a paladin at all.

  She squared her shoulders. “Right,” she said. “Let’s get this…guy loaded up and move out.”

  They each surveyed the swamp…horse…thing and hesitated. No one volunteered to load it up.

  Vola had been waiting for a chance to buy a real mount for ages. But this thing was quite a bit different from the picture in her mind.

  “What exactly is it?” Lillie asked, her nose scrunched in disgust.

  Vola hoped that the smell was only temporary. “It’s a mount,” she said. “That’s all that matters. It will carry our equipment. Or us, if anyone gets injured.”

  “I’d rather not get that close to it if it’s all the same to you,” Lillie said.

  “Did that salesman seem a little anxious to get rid of it to you guys?” Sorrel asked, hands on hips as she examined the...mount.

  “Talon, do you have any ideas?” The ranger had tamed a wolf after all.

  “There is no creature I cannot commune with.”

  “All right, then, commune,” Vola said.

  The hooded figure stepped up to the swamp creature and bent to look it in the eyes.

  “Is anything happening?” Sorrel asked after a moment.

  Talon straightened. “There is one creature I can’t commune with.”

  “Maybe it grows on you eventually,” Lillie said.

  “Like a fungus,” Sorrel added.

  Vola rolled her eyes at her own hesitance. “We’re wasting precious time. Come on, maybe we can still beat Braydon’s group to the tor.”

  She slung the pack over the back of the swamp beast, who narrowed its eyes and hissed at her. “Better you than me,” she told it.

  She just hoped the damn thing didn’t slow them down in getting to the tor. It didn’t exactly look fast. She chewed her thumbnail while she examined it. It didn’t look fast, but it did look…swampy. With its scales and crest and teeth, it looked like the unfortunate offspring of a mule and a crocodile. Maybe it took after the crocodile half more strongly.

  She draped the lead rope over the back of the creature’s neck so it wouldn’t get immediately tangled and gave it a slap on the rump. “Go on. Find us a way through the swamp.”

  “What are you doing?” Sorrel asked.

  “I think it might know a better way through the swamp than us. No offense, Talon.”

  “I’m not the one who’s been wet this whole time,” Talon said with little inflection.

  “Why risk ourselves,” Vola gestured between them, “when that thing can do the scouting for us? And this way I can take point and Talon can guard our rear.”

  “Finally, a good plan,” Talon said. “I will send Gruff to guard our flanks.”

  They stood and watched as the creature meandered from tuft of grass to tuft of grass, nibbling some leaves here, turning to glare at them there.

  “Aw, the poor thing,” Lillie said. “It doesn’t know where it’s going.”

  “I don’t think it’s a poor anything,” Sorrel said. “Although you might be right about the second part. I don’t think it’s going to be a very good guide, Vola.”

  “Actually,” Vola said, watching. “Look. It might not be going in a straight line, but it hasn’t fallen into the water yet. Come on. Follow its footsteps. Don’t stray from the path it’s laid out.”

  Vola put her words into action and followed the swamp beast, carefully jumping from tuft to tuft. Slower, but much drier, they made their way in the direction of the tor.

  Fourteen

  Vola followed the swamp beast carefully, easily stepping between the islands of dry land. Behind her, Sorrel swung her arms and hopped, like a gangly frog dressed in a kilted-up shirt. Even Lillie got through the swamp with relatively little
splashing. Talon kept their bow ready, hood swinging back and forth in a vigilant arc.

  In the distance, the tor actually seemed to be getting closer. Finally.

  A short, sharp bark sounded from the right, and Talon’s hood jerked up.

  “Wait,” they said.

  Vola ground to a stop and jerked upright, hand on her sword.

  “What is it?”

  “Ambush,” Talon said.

  An arrow streaked out of the forest and struck Talon’s shoulder. They went down with a cry.

  “Shi—crap!” Vola said. She spun, trying to pinpoint the direction of the enemy.

  “Talon,” Lillie called and threw herself on her knees beside the fallen ranger. She reached out and grasped Talon’s shoulder, and a bright light flashed from her hand, washing over the prone figure.

  This time, a volley of arrows came from the trees. One bounced off Lillie’s shield while another skidded off Vola’s armored leg.

  Sorrel rushed for the trees at the same time as Vola, but she skidded to a stop and looked back at Lillie and Talon on the ground.

  Vola didn’t hesitate. She splashed and slipped through slimy mud and shallow puddles crusted with algae and hit the trees running. There, behind the first line of trunks, she found three black-clad figures, masked and armed. All three dropped their bows when they saw her coming and drew their swords.

  She hit them with a clash, roaring as she ducked her shoulder and heaved the first one off his feet.

  She brought her blade up in a sweeping undercut that caught one of the attackers across the chest. He went down and flickered.

  Vola hesitated. That looked just like…

  The illusion dropped away, leaving a large man-shaped ball of waxy mud. Just like in town. Except this one didn’t fall apart immediately. It shook its lumpy head and rolled to its feet before lurching for Vola again.

  “Uh oh.” She ducked away. The other two tried closing in on her, wobbling forward with a clumsy sort of relentlessness.

  Vola side-stepped, slipped in a puddle, and righted herself to take the mud man’s leg off at the hip. It paused and groaned in its weird wordless voice, then toppled to the ground where it tried to crawl across the grass for her.