Frozen

by L. A. Casey

  I didn’t want to mention that I hadn’t directly said those words to her, that I’d said it to Justin and Sean instead, but Bob would have picked up that it was Neala I was talking about. Bob was a nice man, but he loved a bit of gossip, and this juice would be all over the village by the New Year if I let too much information slip.

  “So tell her you didn’t mean what you said,” he said with a shrug.

  If only things were that simple.

  I grunted. “I did, but she doesn’t believe me.”

  “Rightly so.” Bob nodded. “You hurt the lass and she is wary of trusting you again. That’s understandable.”

  “Yeah,” I agreed glumly. “The thing is, I told her I’d prove meself to her and show her I do like her and want her for more than a dirty romp between the sheets, but she’s having none of it. I haven’t seen or spoken to her in a few days.”

  Bob whistled. “Sounds like you really bruised the lass’s heart.”

  I lowered my head to the countertop and groaned. “Yes, I’m aware of that. Thank you.”

  Bob chuckled. “Sorry, laddie. Didn’t mean to stick the dagger in deeper.”

  I sighed and lifted my head. “It’s grand. I deserve it.”

  Bob tilted his head to the side as he watched me. “You really like this lass?” he asked.

  I nodded. “More than I’ve ever liked anyone,” I admitted.

  Bob raised an eyebrow. “Even Laura Stoke?”

  Who?

  Oh, yeah. Laura.

  Fuck.

  She didn’t even compare to Neala. No woman did or ever would.

  She’d ruined me for anyone else.

  “Even Laura Stoke.” I nodded to Bob.

  He smiled. “Prove it.”

  What?

  “I don’t under—”

  “Darcy Hart. Long time no see, which is bad for you and me.”

  I turned from Bob’s watchful gaze to Laura’s heated one.

  I forced a smile. “Hey, Laura . . . How are you?”

  “I’m good, honey.” Laura smiled seductively. “You?”

  “Not too bad,” I lied.

  “Did you have a good Christmas?” she asked.

  I’d had an amazing Christmas Eve, but a shitty Christmas Day.

  “Yeah. Spent it with family . . . You?”

  “Same,” Laura said, leaning into me. She frowned at me when I pulled back. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

  I blinked. “Nothing. Why?”

  She gave me a knowing smile. “You’re down about something – I can tell.”

  How?

  “I’m fine . . . really.”

  Laura chuckled, “Okay then.”

  She continued to smile at me until I cracked.

  “It’s . . . a girl,” I mumbled, feeling embarrassed for talking to her about another woman. “I recently just realised how much I like her, but I said something very hurtful to her and messed everything up.”

  Laura frowned, and then reached over and rubbed my shoulder. “I’m sure Neala will forgive you, Darcy. I can see how down you are about whatever happened. I’m sure she will see it too.”

  Doubtful.

  “Nah,” I muttered. “She doesn’t believe me when I say I’m sorry or that I didn’t mean what I said – Wait a second, how did you know it was Neala?” I asked, my eyes wide with shock.

  Laura dropped her hand from my shoulder and laughed. “Come on, Darcy. I’d have to be blind to miss the connection between you two. You’ve had it since we were kids; it just showed itself in the form of hate and anger.”

  I stared at Laura, at a loss for words. How did she know Neala and I had a connection when we hadn’t even known?

  She continued to speak. “I’m glad you both finally figured it out, though – better now than when you’re both old and grey.”

  I was so confused. She’d willingly slept with me all these years when she thought Neala and I had a connection?

  Did she really hate Neala that much to keep me from her?

  “I don’t know about anything anymore . . . I’m just confused, and I don’t know what to do with meself. It’s bollocks.”

  Laura chuckled and patted my arm. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Good luck, Darcy.” She leaned in and kissed my cheek. “Bye,” she whispered before she stood up and walked away.

  Just like that, our involvement was over, and I wished I’d never spent a moment with her in the first place. I felt like a dick for thinking it, but my life would have been so much different had I never acted on my crush with Laura Stoke.

  I was glad she wasn’t bitter about my having feelings for someone else. If I couldn’t have Neala, I wanted no woman.

  I looked straight ahead and picked up the fresh pint of beer in front of me. I looked to my right as Bob walked back toward me and grinned.

  “So you do really like this girl,” he said.

  I wanted to laugh, but I just blew air out through my nose and said, “Yeah, man.”

  Bob smiled at me. “Then do everything you can to get her.” He moved away to take care of some other punter who wanted to order a drink.

  I was left alone with my thoughts, but not for long.

  “I told you he’d be here. Pay up, bitch,” Sean’s voice cheered.

  The annoyed growl of my brother followed. “Here, dickhead.”

  “Stop making money off me misery, you pricks,” I said before downing half of my pint.

  Sean sat on the empty stool on my left while Justin sat on the empty one on my right.

  “Did I just see you turn down Laura Stoke?” Sean asked me.

  I shrugged. “Yeah, for good. She’s cool with it, though.”

  Sean whistled. “You’ve got it bad, kid.”

  Tell me about it.

  Both of the lads clapped their hands on my shoulders.

  “How you doing, chief?” Justin asked me.

  I grunted. “How does it look like I’m doing?” I asked.

  “Like shite,” Sean replied.

  Ding ding ding. We have a winner.

  “That about sums me up,” I said. I took another gulp of my pint and shook my head when I swayed a little.

  Both of the lads sighed.

  “If it helps,” Sean began, “she hasn’t talked to any of us either. Except the kids, of course.”

  My stomach lurched.

  She was all alone right now when she shouldn’t be.

  I felt like even more of a massive dick.

  What our families had done to us was shitty enough, but her having to deal with what I’d said just doubled the shittiness.

  “Other than the obvious problem, is she okay? Is she eating and taking care of herself?” I asked out of worry.

  I’d hate myself even more if I’d made her sad enough to become sick. Granted, I’d barely eaten since Christmas, but fuck me, I couldn’t care less about myself.

  “Yeah, she’s eating and showering and doing all of the normal stuff . . . She’s just sad, man.”

  I swallowed and looked down. “I know. I wish I’d never said what I did.”

  “Do you mean that, or do you mean you wish she’d never heard you?” Sean asked.

  I looked at him and replied honestly, “I wish I’d never said it. I lied to keep from looking like a pussy-whipped bitch in front of the pair of you so you both wouldn’t see that I’d be gutted if she regretted me. I made my worry a reality by lying. I fucked everything up and I’ve no one to blame but meself.”

  “Don’t be so hard on yourself, bro,” Justin said, and nudged me. “It’ll work itself out, you’ll see.”

  “It won’t fix itself,” I said, shaking my head. “I wrecked this, so I have to fix it . . . I owe it to her.”

  Sean patted my shoulder in support while Justin flagged Bob down and ordered a round of drinks for us. Bob quickly got the order to us, took away my now-empty pint glass, and frowned as I started on the fresh one he’d laid before me.

  Justin looked at Bob, then to me.


  “How many has he had?” he asked.

  “This is number five,” Bob replied.

  I rolled my eyes when Justin hissed.

  “Do you want to get drunk off your face? Drowning your sorrows won’t get you back your Neala Girl, little brother.”

  He didn’t get to call her that; only I did.

  I snarled, “What do you know? You have a wife and a kid. You don’t know what I’m feeling.”

  Justin laughed, and it only fuelled my rising temper.

  “You think things have always been smooth sailing with Sarah? I started going out with her when I was twenty-five, and we’re still together and happily married because we work to keep what we have. No one is gifted with a healthy relationship, so stop feeling fucking sorry for yourself. You fucked up with Neala; go fix it if she means that much to you.”

  I knew Justin was right, but I shoved him simply because I was looking for a fight. I wanted to feel something other than the sick feeling that was constantly in my gut.

  Justin jumped up from his bar stool and I took it as an invitation to exchange blows. I threw the first punch and it caught Justin square across the jaw. It knocked him backward against his stool and then onto the floor.

  “Ah, fuck!” Sean snapped from behind me, and smacked the back of my head with such force my brain rattled. “You wanna fight, you come at me. It’s my little sister you fucked over, remember?”

  I saw red and speared Sean down to the ground.

  I pulled back and unleashed a series of punches on his face, but not one landed, because he had his head guarded, so I switched, getting a few hits in on his chest.

  “It’s fine, honestly. Don’t be worried. A minute or two and it’ll be fine. Sit back down,” Bob’s loud voice broke through my clouded one. No doubt he was talking to the other punters in the pub.

  A ringing noise blocked everything out and my vision spotted.

  It took me a second to realise I’d been punched in the head.

  Sean, the bastard, had broken through and punched me.

  I was just about to return the favour when I felt arms come around my neck from behind and pull me off Sean. I reached back and hit Justin, who had a hold of me, but he didn’t let up until I stopped throwing punches. My head was spinning and my stomach threatened to spill at any second.

  “Are you done?” Justin snapped in my ear.

  “I’d have killed you both if I could see straight!” I snapped, then coughed when Justin’s arm tightened around my neck.

  Sean laughed from the floor. “I don’t think so, little Hart. I let you get some hits in to help relieve some stress. You feel better?”

  I blinked my eyes and when my vision focused I could see Sean, but it looked like he was swaying while sitting down.

  Unexpectedly, I laughed. “Yeah, I feel better.”

  Justin’s hold on me loosened, and then both he and Sean got to their feet and they helped me up to mine. They both shoved me and playfully slapped my head.

  “Okay, everyone. Show’s over,” Bob announced.

  The people who had bothered to look our way turned and continued on with their conversations like we hadn’t just been fighting a minute ago.

  “I can’t believe he put you on your arse with one hit.” Sean poked fun at Justin as we straightened our stools and sat back down on them.

  Justin rubbed his jaw. “Me last fight with him was five years ago. He’s perfected throwing a decent punch since then, it seems.”

  I snorted as I laid my head on the countertop.

  Justin smacked my back with his hand. “I’ve never seen you like this over a girl.”

  “She’s not just some girl, man,” I stated. “It’s Neala.”

  Sean nudged me. “Your Neala Girl?”

  Yeah.

  My Neala Girl.

  “Yeah, she’s mine,” I said, and sat up straight. “I need to make this right . . . but I don’t know how.”

  Both of the lads patted my shoulders.

  “We’ll help you, bro,” Justin said.

  I smiled inwardly.

  I sighed. “How?”

  We all sat and thought about it for a few minutes; then Sean snapped his fingers. “You have to get her on her own – you won’t get her full attention in a room full of people.”

  I rolled my eyes. “She won’t leave her apartment. How the hell can I get her on her own when she won’t speak to me?” I asked.

  That sent us into another few minutes of silence as we thought.

  “I’ve got it,” Justin said. “We can trick her to come out—”

  “Do you remember what happened the last time you deceived her?” I cut Justin off with a growl.

  Justin frowned. “That wasn’t just me, man . . . And we all said sorry about that.”

  I shook my head and looked at my half-full pint of beer; I didn’t even want to drink it anymore. I had come here to drown my sorrows, but no matter how much I drank I still couldn’t escape the way I felt. I pushed the pint away.

  “It’s New Year’s Eve . . . What if we get her to come to the party here tonight?” Sean suggested.

  I looked to him and deadpanned, “If she won’t come out of her apartment, then she won’t come here.”

  Sean grinned and smirked. “You leave that to me. I’ll get her here; you just make sure you head home and that you’re all cleaned up and ready to lay everything on the line for her. You got that?”

  I raised my eyebrow and looked to Justin, who shrugged. I looked back to Sean and decided what the hell? Who better to help me win Neala over than her own brother?

  “I got it,” I said with a firm nod.

  I just prayed that whatever Sean had planned would work, because one way or the other I was starting the New Year with my Neala Girl in my life as my girl.

  I wouldn’t settle for anything less than her heart.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Neala?”

  Uh.

  “Neala. I know you’re in there; open the door. Please.”

  Go away.

  “Neala!” my mother’s voice shouted. “Please, open the door.”

  I shot up from my bedroom when my mother’s voice rose to one of panic. Her voice sounded strange, and quite faint, but it was unmistakably her. I envisioned something horribly wrong with her, so without a second’s thought I ran from my bedroom, tore down the hallway, and pulled my front door wide open.

  “Ma?” I said, my tone laced with worry.

  I blinked. My brother stood before me, not my mother.

  I was confused.

  “Where’s Ma? I heard her,” I said.

  Sean gnawed on his lower lip and then lifted up his arm and pressed on the screen of his iPhone.

  “Neala?” my mother’s voice played from the phone.

  I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, then looked to Sean, who shrugged and pocketed his phone.

  “I knew you wouldn’t open the door to anyone but our distressed mother,” he said.

  The bastard tricked me. Again.

  I snarled at him and tried to slam my door shut in his face, but he threw his body between the door and the doorframe, making it impossible for me to close the door.

  “Get. Out!” I snapped.

  Sean grunted in pain. “No, we need to talk.”

  The hell we do.

  “I don’t care for a single word you have to say, you piece of shite!” I bellowed, then lifted my hand and proceeded to slap Sean’s head.

  He yelped. “Neala, stop it! That hurts! Ow!”

  Feel pain, you fucker.

  “No! You deserve everything you get, you lousy excuse for a brother,” I said, then fell backward onto my arse when Sean burst through the door and fell face forward onto the floor next to me.

  Ha-ha-fucking-ha!

  “That hurt,” Sean murmured.

  I glared at him. “I’m glad.”

  “You’re the dark lord of evil.” He groaned.

  I grinned. “And someday I’ll rule the
Earth.”

  Sean groused as he rolled over onto his back. We were silent as he lay next to me and stared up at the ceiling. I was looking upward too, but only because I didn’t want to turn my head and see his stupid face.

  “This is breaking and entering, you know?” I grunted.

  Sean snorted. “You’re me sister.”

  “So? I don’t want you here, so it still counts as breaking and entering,” I said as I sat upright, griping as a slight pain radiated up and down my arse from the impact of hitting the floor when I fell.

  I got to my feet, placed both hands on my behind, and rubbed the pain away. I looked down at my brother and rolled my eyes.

  “You’re almost thirty-two, and yet you still act like you’re fifteen,” I said with a shake of my head.

  Sean looked up at me and smirked. “I bet you’ll be having a repeat of this conversation with me in fifty years.”

  I snorted. “Doubtful. I plan to disown you long before then.”

  Sean clumsily got to his feet, and when he straightened up he flung an arm around my shoulder and hugged me to his side. He kissed me on the crown of my head and said, “You couldn’t disown me – you love me too much.”

  True.

  My eye twitched. “It’s a shame how I could never disown you, but you had no problem doing it to me for four days.”

  Sean raised his eyebrow. “Four?” he questioned.

  I huffed, “I’m meshing Friday night and Tuesday morning as one whole day, so yes, hours-wise it adds up to four days.”

  Sean nodded, then hugged me again. “I’m sorry, Neala, truly sorry. It was a stupid idea, utter rubbish really. Please forgive me. I’ll never trick you into anything ever again. I promise.”

  I stepped away from my brother and closed my front door before I turned back to him.

  “What do you call playing Ma’s voice on your phone in order to get me to open up the door then?” I asked.

  Sean opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “Starting from right now I won’t trick you anymore. Promise.”

  I snorted and shook my head at him.

  “Come on, Neala. It’s New Year’s Eve; you can’t start a brand-new year not speaking to your family.”

  Says who?

  “Watch me.”

  Sean frowned. “We miss you, Sis. Ma cries every day because she feels so horrible about everything that’s happened.”