by L. A. Casey
That hurt. “Are you using Ma crying as a guilt trip on me?”
Sean shook his head. “No, I’m just telling you how hard she is taking you ignoring her. She didn’t mean to hurt you; none of us did . . . even Darcy.”
I widened my eyes. “You’re on his side?”
He was my brother! How could he be on his side?
“Hell, no,” Sean stated. “I’m backing you all day, every day. I’m just saying the kid isn’t taking the aftermath of your falling-out very well.”
Part of me wanted to ask if Darcy was okay, and the other half wanted to go to him and make sure he was okay, but I forced down the feelings of longing and shrugged. “Yeah, well, I’m not exactly the picture of happiness here either, Sean.”
I walked around him and went into my sitting room, where I sat down on my lounge chair and covered myself with the blanket that hung over the back of it. Sean followed me and sat across from me with his elbows resting on his knees as he stared at me.
“Do you not think ignoring us for six days is punishment enough? We see each other every day – we’re all invested in one another’s lives, and for you to block us out hurts like hell. I constantly think about you and wonder if you’re okay or not.”
I looked over to my living room window and sighed as I watched the snowfall.
“You hurt me. I just needed to be away from you all for a while.”
I looked back to Sean as he sat back and scrubbed his face with his hands. “Do you not believe we’re sorry?”
“I do,” I replied. “I believe you’re very sorry. I’m just still pissed about the whole thing, Sean.”
Sean rested his chin on his right hand and frowned. “I don’t blame you, but blocking us out isn’t the answer.”
I grinned. “You got in here, didn’t you? Blocking you out doesn’t seem to be working.”
Sean winked. “Damn right.”
We sat in silence for a few minutes until he said, “Are you coming to the New Year’s Eve party in O’Leary’s Pub tonight?”
I didn’t reply right away, because I wasn’t sure of my answer.
I knew my family, and Darcy’s, were sorry for what they had done to us, and even though I was still angry at them I couldn’t help but miss them. I hadn’t seen my parents in six days, which is the longest I’d ever willingly gone without seeing them, so I saw no reason to delay seeing them any longer. Besides, Sean was right: I didn’t want to start the New Year on bad terms with everyone.
Besides, as much as I hated to admit it, I wanted to see Darcy. It was selfish of me, but I wanted to see if he was as torn up as I felt.
“Yeah, I’ll go,” I replied to Sean, who looked shocked at my answer. “Were you expecting a fight?” I asked.
Sean blinked at me, then nodded. “Well . . . yes. I wasn’t expecting you to come without some resistance.”
I shrugged. “I’m fed up with staying inside this apartment, and with the way I’m feeling, a pub sounds like the perfect place for me to go.”
Sean didn’t say anything; he just watched me.
“What time is it?” I asked.
“Half six in the evening.”
I nodded. Sleeping in till all hours was a pattern I’d fallen into over the past week.
“I’ll go and get showered and changed. You can take me to your house for a while so I can see Charli and Jess, and then we’ll go to the pub.”
Sean scratched his head. “Sounds good to me.”
I got up and headed out of the sitting room and down to my bathroom. I was going to this party tonight just to make peace with my family. Once that was done I was parking my arse at the bar. A few drinks might erase Darcy and all the bullshit that came with him from my mind, but that was just wishful thinking.
“Ma is down the back in the booths with everyone,” Sean said to me as I entered the pub with him and Jess.
Charli was at home in bed; a babysitter was looking after her while her parents rang in the New Year together.
I nodded to Sean and followed them through the pub like a puppy following its master. I felt so out of place in my own local pub with a crowd of faces I had grown up seeing. I sighed to myself as I walked.
Maybe coming here was a bad idea.
I shook my head clear and continued to walk behind Sean and Jess. I glanced around as I walked, and when I spotted a familiar person over at the bar and saw what she was doing I almost fell over my own two feet.
Laura Stoke was kissing a man that was, in no shape or form, Darcy.
I knew the man, though. I stared a little longer and widened my eyes when I realised the lad Laura was tongue-raping was Dan Jenkins, the lad I’d had a date with and bailed on nearly two weeks ago.
Glad to see he was taking my rejection so well.
More than anything, though, I was just relieved Dan wasn’t Darcy. I mean, if it had been Darcy she was kissing I probably would have killed him, so luckily for his sake it was Dan. I was a little too caught up in watching Laura and her new kissing buddy – I walked into someone’s back.
“You okay?” Jess laughed as she turned around and steadied me.
I blinked. “Sorry, I was distracted.”
“By what?” she asked.
I nodded over to the bar where Laura and her buddy sat.
Jess scanned the area I nodded to, and when her eyes landed on Laura she grinned. “Huh. Sean wasn’t joking. Darcy really did give her the elbow.”
What?
“He what?” I asked, shocked.
Jess smiled. “Earlier today Laura came up to Darcy all sexy and shite, but Darcy was having none of it. Bob told your ma it was because he was so down from hurting a girl he really liked and couldn’t think of any other girl but her.”
No way.
“Really?” I asked.
Jess nodded her head. “Honest to God truth.”
Oh, wow.
Darcy had ended his fuckery business with Laura because of me?
“She seemed to bounce back quick,” I muttered.
Jess laughed. “Of course she did. She’ll be on the prowl for some new meat, since Darcy isn’t available anymore.”
I raised my eyebrows. “He is available.”
“Not emotionally.” Jess winked, turned, and continued to walk in the direction of the booths where my family sat.
Darcy wasn’t available emotionally?
What the hell did that even mean?
Did that mean he would still shag people physically, but emotionally he would be shut down like a slutty zombie?
Why couldn’t people just be straight when they were speaking?
I hated all this confusion.
I brushed some invisible dirt off my dress and followed Jess over to the booth. I wanted to laugh the moment I stepped out in front of it, because every person seated in our section turned his or her head and looked at me at the same time.
It’s wasn’t just my family at the booth; Darcy’s family was there too, of course.
“Evening,” I said curtly.
Justin was the first one to stand up and greet me.
“You look gorgeous,” he said as he leaned down and wrapped his arms around me. “I’ve missed you, kid.”
I smiled and hugged Justin back. “I missed you too, Wise One.”
Justin chuckled and released me.
I hugged Sarah and his parents and assured them I was fine when they asked how I was. When my father stood up I gave him a wink so he knew we were cool. I saw his shoulders loosen up as relief filled him.
“I’m sorry and I love you,” he said.
I hugged my father and told him I loved him too.
My mother burst into tears when it was her turn to say hello, and I couldn’t help but laugh as she pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. She buried her face in my neck and sobbed like I had just come back from the dead.
“It’s only been a few days, woman!” I said making everyone laugh.
My mother continued to cry as she hugged me.
“Ma,” I said, leaning my mouth down to her ear. “I know you’re sorry and I forgive you. Don’t worry about it.”
I was still pretty annoyed, but dragging it out wouldn’t do anybody any good, so in that moment I put it behind me and looked forward to the New Year.
My mother released me, then went to my father for another little cry because she was happy everything was back to normal. Well, sort of.
“Is he here?” I asked Justin.
I both hoped he was and dreaded seeing him if he was.
Justin leaned in and said, “He’s around here somewhere.”
I nodded.
I knew I’d have to speak to Darcy eventually; I just hoped it wouldn’t go badly, because I honestly couldn’t handle any more bullshit between us. I made small talk with everyone in the booth and chitchatted with them for an hour or so. It had been late when we arrived and the pub was packed, but now that it was close to midnight, the place was overflowing with people.
“Neala!” Sean called out.
I looked at him, then stood up from my seat and walked over to where he stood at the edge of the seating area. I had to squeeze by a few people to get to him.
“What?” I asked him.
He sighed. “You need to speak to Darcy.”
I blinked at Sean. “You do realise what he did to me, right? I thought you would be on my side.”
“I am on your side.” Sean frowned. “But I’m on his side, too. I know what he did to you, but he explained himself to me and I believe him, Neala. Give him a chance to explain and you’ll see he’s telling the truth. The poor prat has never been a good liar.”
“Where is he?” I asked, curiously.
I knew he was in the pub somewhere. It was one of the reasons I had come to the party. I wanted to see him, but at the same time I didn’t because I didn’t know what to say to him.
Sean looked around then looked back to me. “I don’t know. He was meant to message me when he wanted me to bring you—”
“Bring me where?” I asked, then narrowed my eyes. “You’d better not have arranged for me to come here, Sean.”
Sean didn’t say a word.
Oh, my God.
I couldn’t believe it.
“You said you’d never trick me again. You bloody promised, Sean!” I shouted and stepped away from my brother.
Sean sighed. “I’m not tricking you. I was going to try to persuade you to come here tonight to clear the air between you and Darcy, but you came here of your own accord. The only place I’m bringing you is outside for some fresh air. Having you here is no evil scheme. This time, I’m letting everything pan out on its own.”
I looked around once more for Darcy. “Did he know I’d be here?”
He nodded. “Yes, he did . . . He misses you, Neala. He just wants to talk, but if you really don’t want to, I’ll take you home. No questions asked.”
I looked at my brother and swallowed. “Do you really believe him?” I asked.
“Do I believe that he misses you?” Sean asked, his eyebrows raised.
“Yeah.”
“Without a fucking doubt,” Sean stated. “The lad is a wreck after what happened between you two. He was in here trying to drink himself silly earlier just to escape from his own head for a little while. He ended things with Laura Stoke, too. I witnessed it with me own eyes. He doesn’t want anyone but you.”
I blinked my eyes at my brother, unsure what to feel or believe.
“I can see you’re hesitant, so let’s go outside and get some air. We can come back in or go home when you sort your head out.”
I looked around the room once more and nodded. “You’re right, I need some air, but I wanna go on me own. It’s already ten to twelve – go find Jess and be with her for the countdown.”
Sean shook his head. “What about you?”
I smiled. “I’ll be fine. I just need a few minutes to meself. Okay?”
“Okay,” Sean said slowly, “but if you decide to go home, come back in here and I’ll drive you – I’m not drinking tonight. Okay?”
“Okay.”
He opened his arms and I stepped into them. “I love you, Neala.”
“I love you, too,” I said and gave my brother a tight squeeze before I turned and walked through the crowd of drunken locals.
I took a deep breath as I stepped outside.
I folded my arms across my chest and rubbed my hands over my upper arms to generate some heat. It hadn’t snowed since this morning; there was a slight breeze, though, and it was a bloody cold one.
I snorted to myself.
Why had I come out here?
Why hadn’t I just gone to the ladies’ bathroom like every other female did when they wanted some alone time?
“Neala?”
I froze when his voice sounded from behind me.
“How did you know I was out here?” I asked.
Please don’t say Sean told you.
“I saw you walk outside after your talk with your brother . . . I wasn’t sure if you were going to attempt to hike home or not. You haven’t got a very good record of trekking through the snow in high heels, so I came out here to see if you needed any assistance,” Darcy said, and I could hear the smile in his voice.
I found myself smiling too.
“I’m not leaving . . . I just came out here to think about a few things.”
Darcy walked up beside me. “Do I happen to be one of those things?”
I kept my gaze straight ahead.
“Yeah,” I replied.
We were silent for a few moments before Darcy sighed and turned to me.
“I’m sorry for hurting you. I have no excuse for the hurtful things I said. I’ve been sick with myself for days knowing that I’ve upset you so much.”
I swallowed as I turned to face Darcy. I frowned when I took in his appearance. He was dressed in his trademark black jeans, black boots and a blue button shirt, and his hair was messy in that sexy way I loved . . . but he didn’t look like Darcy. He looked like a shell of his former self.
“Have you been eating?” I asked.
He looked like he’d lost some weight.
“Well . . . no,” Darcy admitted. “I wasn’t joking when I said I feel sick about what I said about the night we shared.”
I frowned. “Darcy, I don’t want you to get sick over me.”
He shook his head. “None of this is because of you; it’s because of me, because of the stupid things I said.”
I was taken aback by how hard he was on himself. He was definitely taking our falling-out seriously.
“I know you said you didn’t mean what you said, but if that’s true then why did you say it in the first place?” I asked, and continued to rub my arms.
Darcy swallowed. “I truly thought you would wake up and freak out. I woke up before you, and when I realised how much I liked having you in my arms and how much I liked you, I got scared.” He stepped closer to me. “I was so sure you would blame me for us sleeping together and that you would hate me again. When we made up and just had a laugh together thinking of all the silly things we did in the past it made me happy, and I was afraid it wasn’t the same for you.”
Holy. God.
“I had no idea you felt that way,” I whispered.
“How could you? I never mentioned it to you out of fear you didn’t like me back, so I decided to lie about our night together to our brothers so I wouldn’t look affected . . . That plan failed horribly because both of them saw me at my lowest point earlier today. They’re sporting the bruises to prove it.”
I gasped. “You fought Justin and Sean?”
Darcy shrugged one shoulder. “Just for a minute. I needed to hit something and they were willing targets.”
Wow.
I didn’t know what to think.
On one hand I was worried – I didn’t want to set myself up for more hurt – but on the other hand I was so incredibly happy Darcy felt the way he did.
He
said he liked me out loud.
“If I said okay, that I believe you and I’m willing to forgive you . . . what would you do?” I asked.
Darcy reached out and took my hand in his.
“I’d ask you out on a date.”
My stomach burst into butterflies.
“A real date?” I asked, smiling.
Darcy nodded, his eyes hopeful. “Yeah, a real date. I’d then ask you out on another date when that date was over, then another when that date was over, and then another when that date was—”
I cut Darcy off with my laughter, and it lit up his whole face with a beaming smile.
“It sounds like you want to get to know me,” I teased.
Darcy reached up and brushed my hair out of my eyes. “I already know you. I just want to get to know you all over again.”
I blinked as my heart thudded against my chest.
“I believe you,” I whispered, “and I forgive you.”
Darcy gazed down at me with smiling eyes.
“Neala,” he murmured, “will you go out on a date with me?”
I pretended to think about it and Darcy growled, making my insides jump.
“I’d love to go on a date with you,” I said, biting on my lower lip.
Darcy smiled and lowered his face to mine as people began to shout inside the pub.
“Do I have to wait until after our first date before I can kiss you?” he whispered, his eyes locked on my lips.
I began to tremble.
“Hmmm,” I mused. “I’m not a kiss-on-the-first-date kind of girl.”
The cheers of people counting down from ten inside the pub was deafening.
Darcy grinned at me. “Will you make an exception?” he asked.
“Six!”
“Five!”
“Four!”
“Three!”
“Two!”
“Just this once,” I whispered.
Darcy brought his mouth to mine as fireworks and bangers went off all around the village. Everyone was screaming and laughing inside the pub as they rang in the New Year.
Darcy broke our short kiss and rubbed his nose against mine. “Happy New Year, my Neala Girl.”
A warm feeling of joy spread throughout my body as I hugged Darcy’s body to mine.
“Happy New Year,” I replied, and smiled up at him.
He gazed down at me with so much emotion that it made me chuckle.
