Amelia Bedelia Scared Silly

by Herman Parish

“Me too,” said Ranger Eleni. “Here’s the plan. We are going to walk a short distance into the woods. I’ll light the way with my flashlight, and we need to stay close together. Once we arrive, I’ll shut off my flashlight and get my spotlight ready. It will be quite dark, and we’ll have to be very quiet. This time of year, we’re most likely to see young screech owls, so I’ll be playing a recording of a screech owl call. Hopefully, one will hear it and fly over to investigate.

  “Listen carefully, because as I’m sure you know, owls are very quiet flyers. If an owl lands nearby, I’ll shine my spotlight on it. It will freeze when the light hits its eyes, so hopefully you’ll all be able to get a good look. But we won’t keep it in the spotlight too long, so stay alert!” She clapped her hands together. “Are you ready to go?”

  “Whoooooo-ray!” said Penny.

  Amelia Bedelia and her friends nodded silently. They were already practicing being quiet.

  Everyone followed Ranger Eleni out of the parking lot and onto a trail that led into the woods. Someone stepped on a dry twig.

  SSSNAPPPPP!

  Suddenly there was an explosive sound of beating wings. A shadowy flock of birds took off into the air. Caw-caw-caw!

  They all jumped, even Ranger Eleni.

  “That bunch of crows really scared me!” exclaimed Dawn.

  “A murder of crows,” said Ranger Eleni.

  Amelia Bedelia looked at her friends, eyes wide.

  “We weren’t trying to murder them,” said Clay quickly. “We never touched a feather.”

  Ranger Eleni chuckled. “No, a group of crows is called a murder,” she explained. “Groups of birds have strange and interesting names. Have you heard of a gaggle of geese?”

  Almost everyone had.

  “And do you know what a group of owls is called?”

  “I know!” said Cliff. “A pellet party!”

  The friends laughed.

  “Actually,” said Ranger Eleni, “a group of owls is called a parliament.”

  “Like the government of England?” asked Joy.

  “That’s right,” said Ranger Eleni. “Guess what a group of eagles is called?” After no one answered, she gave them a hint. “An eagle is the symbol of the United States. Here’s a clue: Who makes our laws?”

  “Congress!” said Chip. “Is it a congress of eagles?”

  “You got it,” said Ranger Eleni.

  “Every group should have a cool name,” said Holly. “Like a group of teachers should be called a . . . task.”

  Mrs. Shauk nodded. “A task of teachers. That works for me. And how about a stable of students?”

  “And a raft of rangers!” added Penny.

  “I like that!” Ranger Eleni laughed. She led them into a clearing. “Here we are,” she said. “Now as soon as everyone is ready, I’ll turn out the light and we’ll stand in total silence for a couple of minutes. Then I’ll play the recording, and we’ll see what happens.”

  When Ranger Eleni cut off the light, Amelia Bedelia gasped. It was so dark! Luckily the moon was almost full. Soon her eyes adjusted to the moonlight and she started to make out things, like Ranger Eleni’s hat and Cliff standing next to her. She looked for Candy but didn’t spot her.

  It was really dark, and there were creepy shadows everywhere. She could feel herself wanting to fidget, so she willed herself to stand completely still.

  Eleni started the recording of owl calls. Soon, a strange shrill sound echoed through the trees all around them. The sound made everyone huddle close together, even though they knew it was just a recording. Amelia Bedelia held her breath. She really hoped they would see an owl.

  Suddenly Ranger Eleni switched on the spotlight. And there, on a nearby branch, sat a small owl. Amelia Bedelia hadn’t even heard it arrive. It looked more like a cute feathered robot than an actual bird. It had a thin beak and stared at them with large, unblinking eyes.

  “Awwww,” someone said, forgetting they were supposed to be quiet. All of a sudden there was a horrible sound, very close by. A drawn-out piercing scream, like someone was in terrible pain. Ranger Eleni spun the spotlight around. And right above their heads, Amelia Bedelia saw a large white face.

  “What was that?” someone shouted.

  Ranger Eleni shined her light around the clearing to make sure everyone was safe. “Everyone okay?” she asked. “What a bonus! That was a barn owl. You almost never see them in the woods. They’re mostly found in fields. And in graveyards too. They sound just like a person screaming.”

  “I thought it was a ghost,” whispered Angel.

  Ranger Eleni trained her light on the ground, then knelt down to grab something. “What is this?” she asked, holding it up.

  Amelia Bedelia and her friends gasped. Ranger Eleni held a bright red apple in her hand.

  The ghost was back!

  That was when Ranger Eleni’s spotlight went out. The clearing was plunged into darkness again.

  “Oh no,” the ranger said. “Hold on a second while I get my flashlight.”

  Clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop.

  Cliff grabbed Amelia Bedelia’s arm. “Are you hearing what I’m hearing?” he whispered.

  Amelia Bedelia nodded, her heart beating fast.

  Clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop.

  “It’s the ghost!” Skip yelled.

  Ranger Eleni turned on her flashlight. Amelia Bedelia could see the terrified faces of her classmates. She was sure hers looked the same.

  “Calm down,” said Ms. Garcia. “I know you all have Halloween on the brain, but this is ridiculous. Clearly someone is riding a horse nearby.”

  “That’s odd,” said Ranger Eleni. “I’ve never heard a horse here before.”

  The friends were quiet on the walk back to the parking lot. They piled onto the bus silently.

  “What’s wrong, campers?” asked Ms. Chang. “You all look like you’ve seen a ghost!”

  “No, but we sure heard one,” said Amelia Bedelia.

  .9.

  An Apple a Day . . .

  “Ready, pumpkin?” Amelia Bedelia’s mother called from the living room.

  “Ready!” said Amelia Bedelia. She and Finally raced downstairs. After trial and error, she had designed a costume that Finally would actually wear. Her dog was dressed as a pirate, complete with eye patch.

  “Ta-da!” shouted Amelia Bedelia.

  “Well, blow me down,” said her mother. “Finally is the cutest pirate to ever sail the seven seas.”

  “Shiver me timbers, sweetie,” said her father. “You two look terrific. But why aren’t you a pirate too?”

  Amelia Bedelia shrugged. “I couldn’t find any pirate gear for myself, so I decided to go as the next best thing. A cat.”

  Amelia Bedelia’s parents were dressed as ghosts. They were draped in white sheets with holes cut out for the eyes.

  They were on their way to the Halloween celebration, which started in the park. Amelia Bedelia couldn’t wait to play haunted mini-golf, jump in the bouncy house with her friends, stick her hands into gross things in the mad scientist’s laboratory, make some arts and crafts, eat some snacks, and of course, carve the pumpkin that her father now held in his ghostly arms.

  Amelia Bedelia grabbed her trick-or-treat bag. At the very last minute she spotted her small, cute pumpkin sitting on the coffee table. It looked sort of lonely, so she dropped it in her bag. She didn’t want to leave it all by itself, especially on Halloween.

  When they arrived at the park, kids and parents and pets were already milling around. Amelia Bedelia spotted Joy right away. She was wearing a cow costume with wings on her back and a halo over her head. Amelia Bedelia still didn’t get it until her father spoke up.

  “Holy cow!” he said. “What a clever costume!”

  Amelia Bedelia spotted Alex and Alexandra (bacon and egg) from dance class and was happy to see Alice (in Wonderland) from camp (and the Upcycling Art Studio). Then she felt a hand clamp down on her shoulder. She spun around.

&
nbsp; “Eek!” she screamed. It was Candy. Her face was painted a sickly green, with huge dark circles under her eyes, and she had a big gash across her cheek. Her hair was matted and had leaves stuck in it, and her clothing was torn and dirty.

  “You look amazing!” said Amelia Bedelia. “Do you want to try the mad scientist’s laboratory?”

  Candy shook her undead head. “Kid stuff,” she said, limping off in the direction of the mummy wrap tent.

  Amelia Bedelia shrugged and headed straight to the laboratory. Ms. Garcia was wearing a splattered lab coat, a purple wig, elbow-length black rubber gloves, and goggles. She stood in front of a large rack filled with bubbling test tubes. “Enter my laboratory—if you dare!” she said. Amelia Bedelia giggled. On the lab table was a series of boxes. Each had a hole cut into the top, so that you could stick your hand inside.

  The first was labeled INTESTINES. Amelia Bedelia bravely stuck her hand into what felt like a pile of slimy, long, thin worms. Spaghetti, she thought. EYEBALLS were next. The slick orbs felt a lot like peeled grapes to her. TEETH were candy corn, she was pretty sure.

  But what was in the BRAINS box? She stuck her hand in once, then twice, trying to figure it out. Ms. Garcia noticed the puzzled look on her face. “Mashed potatoes,” she whispered.

  After she had wiped off her hands, Amelia Bedelia headed over to the arts and crafts tent, where she twisted pipe cleaners around a lollipop to make a spider pop and tried her hand at an origami monster bookmark. Then she wandered over to the bouncy house. She was about to take off her sneakers and get in line when Cliff ran by. “Grab your pumpkins and your adult supervision!” he hollered. “The pumpkin carving contest is about to begin!”

  Amelia Bedelia found her parents and grabbed her pumpkin from her dad. Several tables were arranged under a big orange-and-black—striped tent, with lots of different tools lined up by each workstation. There were knives of various shapes and sizes, tooth saws, sculpting tools, scrapers, scoopers, etching tools, circle punches, and pumpkin drills.

  Amelia Bedelia rolled up her cat sleeves. She quickly removed the top of her pumpkin and was soon elbow-deep in pumpkin guts. She thinned the walls of her pumpkin with a scraper and then started on the face. She had decided to carve a ghoulish expression with a big wide mouth full of jagged teeth. Under her parents’ watchful gaze she worked on the eyes and nose, then moved on to the mouth.

  “Can I borrow that pumpkin drill?” called Dawn from the other side of the table.

  “Sure!” Amelia Bedelia called back.

  Dawn headed over to retrieve it. But she rolled over a little more quickly than she had intended on her new skates. She was headed straight for Amelia Bedelia! Amelia Bedelia jumped out of the way, knocking her pumpkin to the ground.

  “Sorry!” said Dawn. “I’m sorry!”

  Amelia Bedelia picked up her pumpkin and gasped. A huge chunk had been knocked out! The mouth was now three times wider on one side than the other. Amelia Bedelia stared at her ruined pumpkin.

  “Oh, too bad, sweetie,” said her mother.

  Skip looked up, peering through his astronaut helmet. “Tough break, Amelia Bedelia,” he said. He grimaced. “Geez, there’s practically room for another pumpkin inside that mouth!”

  Amelia Bedelia smiled. Another pumpkin! She reached into her trick-or-treat bag and pulled out her cute little pumpkin. She held it up to her big pumpkin’s gaping mouth. It would fit! She grabbed a marker and drew a tiny frightened face on it. Then she tucked it into her jack-o’-lantern’s mouth. Perfect!

  “Great save!” said her father. “The big pumpkin is eating the little pumpkin! Amelia Bedelia, that’s amazing!”

  Apparently the judges thought so too. Amelia Bedelia won for Most Creative.

  After the contest, Amelia Bedelia wandered through the crowd, looking for Candy. She hoped her friend was having as good a time as she was.

  She needn’t have worried. She found Candy posing with props at the Halloween photo booth. They took a ton of silly pictures together. Afterward, they headed over to the snack table, where they sampled cake pops that looked like eyeballs and bright green cookie sandwiches called Monster Molars, with white marshmallow teeth in the middle. The cookies were messy but very tasty.

  Amelia Bedelia noticed that people were beginning to hurry off, all in the same direction. “Come on!” she said to Candy. “It’s time for the costume parade!” The two girls headed to the parade start, collecting their friends along the way. As they began to march, Cliff made up a song on the spot and began to sing it to the tune of “Yankee Doodle Dandy.” Pretty soon all the kids in the parade joined in.

  Halloween, oh Halloween

  You are both fun and scary!

  We dress in costumes, fangs, or masks

  Like werewolves who are hairy!

  Halloween, you are the best

  (Almost as good as Christmas).

  We’ll trick-or-treat all over town

  For stuff that’s not nutritious!

  Amelia Bedelia stole a glance at Candy. She was laughing and singing along with everyone else. “You were right!” Candy said. “This is so much fun!”

  Then it was time to trick-or-treat! Almost every house was decorated. It was starting to get dark, so the jack-o’-lanterns on the porches were glowing. Amelia Bedelia and her friends took Candy to all the best houses, as they had promised.

  When they were done, every bag was bulging at the seams.

  Amelia Bedelia and Candy found their parents chatting together. Candy’s mom immediately started digging through Candy’s bag. “Jelly beans!” she said. “My favorite.” She ripped open the box and started snacking. “Do you have any more?”

  Candy looked. “Nope,” she said.

  “Here, let me look.” Candy’s mom lifted her daughter’s trick-or-treat bag. “This is way more candy than you usually collect!” she exclaimed. “Good thing you’ve been eating all those apples lately.” She turned to Amelia Bedelia’s parents. “We’ve practically gone through a bushel this week!”

  A bushel of apples! That was a lot of apples. Aha! thought Amelia Bedelia.

  Suddenly the scariest part of their scary stories made a lot of sense.

  .10.

  . . . Keeps the Ghosts Away

  “See you at Seven Gables Farm!” Amelia Bedelia and her friends called to one another as they piled into their cars.

  Amelia Bedelia’s father slipped off his ghost costume before getting behind the wheel, but her mother kept hers on. “I’m ready for that bonfire,” she said, rubbing her chilly hands together.

  When they arrived, the bonfire was already roaring. Mr. and Mrs. Hawthorne were handing out cups of hot cider to everyone. Mrs. Hawthorne greeted Amelia Bedelia with a big hug.

  “Your costume is purr-fect!” she said. She looked Amelia Bedelia in the eye. “Can I trust you not to spill the beans?” she asked.

  “Yup, Candy’s mom already ate them all,” Amelia Bedelia replied.

  Mrs. Hawthorne leaned forward and whispered in her ear.

  Amelia Bedelia smiled and nodded. “Your secret is safe with me,” she said.

  And then Amelia Bedelia knew exactly what she had to do.

  She found Candy standing near the bonfire. She grabbed her hand. “Candy, I need you!” she said. “Finally ran into the corn maze! You’ve got to help me find her! I’m afraid she’ll be lost forever!” She crossed her fingers behind her back as she said it.

  “Oh no!” said Candy. “Come on!”

  Amelia Bedelia and Candy raced into the maze. The full moon ducked behind some clouds just as they made their first turn. It was dark and creepy. A sudden breeze made the cornstalks rustle.

  “Finally!” called Amelia Bedelia. “Here, girl!”

  “Finally!” called Candy. “Where could she be?”

  They reached the middle of the maze, and Amelia Bedelia stopped. The clouds parted. Candy’s green zombie face looked especially spooky in the moonlight.

  Candy glan
ced up. “A full moon,” she said. “I hope it doesn’t summon the ghost of Ebenezer!”

  “Me too,” said Amelia Bedelia.

  “Why did we stop?” asked Candy. “We need to find your dog!”

  Amelia Bedelia cocked her head. “Did you hear that?” she asked.

  “Hear what?” said Candy.

  “That!” whispered Amelia Bedelia.

  Clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop.

  Candy froze. “But that’s impossible!” she said. “I mean, it can’t be the horse from—” She turned to Amelia Bedelia. “Can it?”

  “Let’s find out,” said Amelia Bedelia. “Follow me.” She put her right hand on the maze wall, as her mother had taught her, and started walking. Soon they reached the end of the maze. They looked out across the shadowy pumpkin field.

  Clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop.

  Candy grabbed Amelia Bedelia’s hand and squeezed it tight.

  Clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop.

  A horse-drawn wagon appeared, driven by a werewolf, its eyes glowing red in its furry face!

  Candy gasped. She stared at Amelia Bedelia with her eyes wide.

  Then it was so quiet that all Amelia Bedelia could hear was the snap and crackle of the bonfire. A screech owl screamed in the distance.

  Mrs. Hawthorne broke the silence. “Welcome home!” she shouted. “Everyone, it’s Sean! Howl’s it going?”

  “Surprise!” shouted the werewolf. “Happy Halloween, everybody!”

  The crowd around the bonfire laughed. Sean took off his mask and jumped down from the wagon to hug his grandparents. “I couldn’t miss Halloween at Seven Gables Farm,” he said. “I hopped on a train as soon as I finished my exams. I rounded up some of my friends, and the haunted hayride is on!”

  The crowd cheered.

  Amelia Bedelia looked over at Candy, who was grinning at her.

  “You got me, and you got me good!” Candy said. “When did you know it was me who was haunting our class?”

  “When your mom talked about all the apples you kept taking,” said Amelia Bedelia. “And when did you know that we were making up the ghost stories?”