Falling in Fast

by Danielle Arie

  My heart pounded. What was he doing?

  “Emery, I don’t know how it’s possible to be so real with you when we’ve only known each other a couple weeks, but I feel like I’ve known you forever."

  He had the worst timing in the world. I couldn’t be thinking about this right now. I’d just re-upped on my no-dating campaign. But . . . the agony in his brown eyes, the way he was clinging to me like I was his only source of comfort. How good it felt.

  “I get it,” I whispered, holding his honest gaze, my back pressed up against the rock, his fingers sinking into my hair.

  Kissing him would be so easy . . .

  His eyes traced the lines of my face, stopping at my lips, our breaths colliding, before he lifted his sights back to mine and sighed. “I’m sorry. We should get moving.”

  I nodded, breathless, and we walked on.

  -Tucker-

  Perfect. Talking to Emery had helped me so much the past two weeks, I thought talking to her now would help me focus. But, something existed between us I couldn’t ignore. I mean, I was two inches away from kissing her a second ago. I had no idea if she felt the same way as me though, and she had her whole no-dating mantra. And, she was on the tail end of a breakup. Not that I was in the place to be thinking about a girl myself.

  Man, I couldn’t think straight.

  That was the problem though. I didn’t want to. I wanted to just hang out with her and forget everything else, and for the next three hours, I could. Even if it was stupid.

  But, no.

  I pulled away from her and slid my hands inside my pockets as a safeguard. We kept on the path, and I made myself swear to stay on it. I needed to change the subject fast.

  “So what about your parents?” I asked, as we rounded the east side of the lake. “You said they’re still together, right?”

  She nodded. “Yeah. Like thirty-one years.”

  “That’s good.”

  “I’m proud of them.” She sighed. “My dad got a new position at work last year though, so he’s gone all the time now. I have to get up at four in the morning if I want to see him during the week. But we all figure it out.”

  “What kind of position?” I asked.

  “He’s a construction foreman. There’s always work for him if he wants it. And with my brothers all in college, he feels like he needs to make as much as he can.”

  Construction . . . I wasn’t expecting that. “And your mom?”

  “She’s a nurse, but she started working the night shift a year ago for the raise. She gets home right when my dad’s heading out.”

  “Dang. That’s gotta be tough on them.”

  She lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know. I guess they make it work. They both keep Sundays off. It’s like a blood oath in our family. Church, lunch out, and then my parents always go on a date. Like, literally, always.”

  “Man, I wish my parents would’ve figured out how to do that. Maybe things wouldn’t have faded out like they did.” I didn’t want to seem like a moper, but I was in the worst possible mood. I had no idea how Mom was. My brothers were on their way up, and who knew if Dad had come around, if he even cared at all.

  “I’m sorry, Tucker. I wish I knew what to say to fix it.”

  “It’s okay.” I lifted a shoulder as we rounded a corner of the trail, the trees ahead parting way for a panoramic view of the lake. The afternoon sun made the greens around us pop, the water bluer than usual, sloshing against the banks. “Just talking about it with someone’s helping.”

  “So your brothers are coming up?” she asked.

  At least I’d be able to relax a little, knowing they’d be safe.

  “I’m going down to get them in a few hours.”

  “I don’t know many guys who’d be willing to take them on like that.” Something sparked in her eyes. An appreciation that felt really good.

  But, it wasn’t like I was some big hero or anything. “They don’t have anyone else.” I swallowed past the burn in my throat, taking a short breath as memories of their faces hung in the air between us. “It’s not ideal, but I'll die before I let the system take them.”

  “I believe you,” she said, softly. “And I’ll help however I can, okay?” She turned toward me, stopping and I stopped, too. She stepped closer as she shook her head and searched my face. She slipped her hand into mine and squeezed, something new charging through her stare, firing to my bones. Something bold. And curious. And more than tempting.

  I held her gaze, the breeze fluttering the tips of her ponytail, swirling a fruity scent past my nose. Her blue eyes searched mine with so much intensity, my chest tightened.

  Straight beautiful. That was Emery in a nutshell.

  I tried not to look at her lips, tried not to wonder what they would feel like on mine, tried to fight the urge to find out with every ounce of my strength.

  “I mean it, Tucker,” she whispered, her chin tilted upward, eyes misting as I dipped my head lower, too weak to avoid it anymore.

  She closed her eyes and I brushed my lips across hers. She released the faintest sigh.

  A wave of chills coated my arms, and something sharp pricked my heart.

  Before I could think, I pulled her closer, the weight in my chest turning into a distant memory the longer I held her. Her eyes fluttered closed, her body relaxing in my grip, her mouth molding to mine, seamlessly. Minty. Sweet. So confusing. I was stupid. I knew it was stupid the second I decided to do it, but we were already in it, and it felt so good, and she was such an incredible, low-key girl.

  A girl who loved God.

  I made myself pull back, our breaths pulsing in the space between our mouths. “You all right?” I asked, softly, slipping my fingers behind her ear, electricity buzzing beneath my fingertips, firing in a current between our lips.

  “Yeah,” she breathed, nodding as she rose on tiptoe to get a better angle. I didn’t hesitate the way I did the first time. I slid my hands around her waist and tightened my grip, sighing as I forgot about all the stress, and my brothers, and my parents.

  She pressed back, her fingertips traveling to my shoulders, locking around my neck. As cliché as it was, it literally felt like we were made for each other. It was like I’d been living my whole life with an out-of-focus lens, and Emery was the twist that made it clear. Guilt washed over me at that realization, my fingers trailing through the ends of her ponytail.

  I cared about her.

  Way too much to be kissing her like this so soon. She needed space. Time to heal. I wanted to give it to her, but man, she was addicting. And whatever her fingers were doing at the base of my neck was hypnotic.

  A chorus of laughter echoed toward us from the trail.

  She broke away with a gasp, shaking her head, cheeks reddening, eyes widening as she slid out of my grip, and fixed her ponytail.

  I cleared my throat and glanced toward the trees where the laughter was rising in volume. “That’s probably our cue.”

  “Maybe we should jog the rest of the way.”

  TWENTY

  -Emery-

  I started my jogging pace and Tucker matched mine. I had no idea what just happened. Well, obviously, something just happened. Something mind-numbing. I wanted to be okay with it. But even though it felt like we’d known each other forever, we’d really only met two weeks ago.

  It was way too fast for this to be real, wasn’t it?

  We finished our run, everything so intriguing between us before shifting to something . . . different. Something deeper. Neither one of us talked during our cool down, not even when we were done, heading back to camp side-by-side. I didn’t know how I should act.

  What did it mean?

  Should it mean something?

  Half of me wanted it to. The other half berated me the whole way up the hill for letting it happen.

  Tucker scratched the back of his neck as he walked me to my lodge, searching my face, his eyes grazing my lips once before he sniffed and glanced at the space behind me. “Sorry,
I didn’t mean to go there. . .” He frowned, and shook his head. “That’s a lie. I meant to, a hundred percent.”

  I had no idea what to think about this, other than it was going against my no dating policy to admit I felt the same way. “Me, too.”

  “Yeah?” His lips hitched at the corners and he drew another deep breath, glancing at his watch with a grunt. “Listen. I have to go right now, but we should talk when I get back.”

  “Will you be back by tomorrow?”

  He nodded. “See you then?”

  I bit my lip, returning his smile. “See you then.”

  He turned and disappeared down the hill. I went to my room, grabbed my earbuds, and changed into my high tops, heading down to the courts to figure things out the best way I knew how.

  Five shots in, Mal came to join me, saying something, but my music was up too loud.

  I took my earbuds out. “What was that?”

  He dribbled a ball a couple of times. “I just asked if you talked to Tucker today.”

  I nodded, squaring up to the basket for a three-pointer. The ball spun off my fingertips and fell through the net perfectly, and I tried to memorize the feel. “I did.”

  “Nice.” He grabbed my rebound, and passed it back. “Did he tell you about his brothers?”

  “He just left to go get them,” I said, sighing. “I wish there was something I could do to help.”

  A little grin crossed his lips as I swished another one. “Not bad, Chuck.” He pulled down the rebound and passed it to me behind his back. “And, I think you’re already helping the man out.”

  I moved to the next spot on the three-point line, and squared up, but I released too quickly and it clanged off the rim. “What makes you say that?” I asked. Tucker wouldn’t have said anything about kissing me, would he?

  He shrugged. “He needs to think about something other than his problems, and he’s been lighter since you’ve been hanging out.”

  Lighter . . .

  I got it. That’s how I felt being around him, too.

  Hunter came up the hill, looking ready to play. “Are we on?” he shouted, half-way up.

  Mal glanced at me.

  I shrugged. “We’re a man short.”

  “I’ll play!” someone shouted from behind Hunter.

  I narrowed my gaze because I knew that voice. Nick came rushing up the hill like he was a saint for volunteering.

  “Are you in Lauren?” he asked, over his shoulder.

  I was about to bow out before I saw her coming up the hill behind him.

  She shook her head. “I’ll totally cheer for you though.”

  He sported a goofy grin, and I blew a deep breath, remembering when he looked at me like that for the first time.

  I passed the ball to Mal. “Your pick.”

  He nodded, winking at me. “I’m with Hunter.”

  Perfect.

  At least, this way, I wouldn’t have to worry about Nick getting all handsy on defense. I just hoped he could be mature about everything.

  “Here we go, Nicky!” Lauren shouted, from the bench on the sideline.

  Nicky?

  My skin tightened, and Nick ducked his head, chuckling.

  I passed him the ball and he passed it back, lifting a brow at me as he ran down the court, like the Lauren thing was some type of challenge.

  “Woo!” Lauren shouted again, standing to clap. “He’s open, Emery! Pass it!”

  I had no idea what was happening, but if he was bringing drama to my game, he was about to lose. Hard.

  -Tucker-

  That kiss haunted me the whole way down the mountain. I wasn’t expecting anything to happen between us when I asked her to go for a walk, but now that it had, I had to figure out what I should do about it. If I could afford to do anything at all. How could I not afford to though? The girl was perfect, and maybe the timing was off, but maybe we were crossing paths at exactly the right moment in each other’s lives. And maybe it was all leading up to something incredible.

  I thought about it for a while before I bowed my heart and prayed. And prayed. And prayed. Asking God to reveal it to me if it’s what I was supposed to do. Asking His forgiveness for jumping the gun back there. Thanking Him for allowing me to meet Emery, whether or not we turned into anything in the end.

  I blew a deep breath and pulled into the bus station, the image of my brothers’ shadows hunched together on the bench hitting me like a blow to the gut. My heart lurched when they saw my truck and stood. They pulled their bags over their shoulders as they came to meet me, a weariness on their faces too heavy for eleven and sixteen.

  I had to focus and man up. These guys needed me more than anything.

  I killed the engine and dropped down from the truck, my youngest brother, Kyler, breaking down into tears as he threw his arms around me. A lump formed in my throat as I tucked his frame in close and glanced at Walker. He stood off to the side, arms crossed, face stoic.

  “We’ll get through this together, guys.” I nodded, trying to believe it myself. If I had any faith in God, I knew He could bring us through, but it wasn’t going to be easy.

  Walker sighed, shaking his head. “Yeah. Whatever. It’s all a bunch of bull, right? Let’s just go.” He blew past me and stepped into the truck, a different kid from the smiling little brother from before all of the madness hit.

  I’d fix it.

  Ky trembled in my arms. I tightened my grip around him and rubbed his back. “It’s all right, Ky. We’ll figure it out, okay?”

  “She couldn’t hear me,” he said through his sobs. “I yelled so loud, and she couldn’t hear me . . . and Dad’s gone. He wouldn’t answer when we called.” He covered his face.

  Tears blurred my vision. Imagining Mom like that was unreal. And, Dad. I tensed, grinding my teeth as I tried to comfort Kyler. “I know it sucks, Bud. But we’re together now. You’re about to have a ton of fun at camp. Promise.”

  He sniffed, covering his face before he stepped back.

  “Let’s get in the truck. You guys can get some rest on the way up, all right? We’ll have some shakes or something when we get there.”

  He nodded and followed my instructions. I didn’t want to look at Walker. He was older. Less persuaded by good food and sugar, more convinced by the actions of the people who were supposed to be there for him and weren’t.

  Well, I was different. If there was anything I was positive about, it was the fact that my brothers weren’t going to suffer another second of pain because of me. Whatever happened this summer, they would know I was there for them, and I always would be.

  No matter what.

  I started the engine up, relieved when Walker crashed in the back seat. It didn’t take Kyler much longer, giving me and God a chance to strategize for the next two hours. The boys would be fed, clothed, housed, and loved. Maybe not by the people who were supposed to bear that load, but by someone who loved them just as much —if not more, apparently. We would make the best of our situation, and I was determined to find a way to be at least a semblance of the family we were supposed to be. If Dad couldn’t be a father figure to them, I’d find a way to be.

  Images of Emery’s face flickered through my mind. I shoved them away. I wasn’t sure how she could fit into the equation. If I was going to focus on the boys, if I was really going to be able to give them all the attention they were missing, I wouldn’t have any left to spare. These boys were my life now. I had to do whatever it took to fix them. To hear them laugh. To see them smile again. No matter what it cost me.

  TWENTY-ONE

  -Emery-

  Lauren walked with me back to our room, wiggling her fingers at Nick like she was interested. Whatever. At least, he wasn’t focusing on me.

  “So, I heard you had an interesting day,” she said, as our door closed behind us.

  I frowned. “Meaning?”

  She sat on her bed, plastering a fake smile on as she pulled her mustard yellow runners off. “Don’t pretend like you don’t
know. The rumor’s spreading around camp, Emery. I didn’t think you were over your ex, but there’s no way of getting over someone like moving onto the next guy, right?”

  Perfect. She knew. Meaning, so did Mila, and probably Nolan, and who knows how many other people. “It’s not like that.”

  “Of course not.” She shook her head and scooted herself back further, flipping her hair and lifting the tips to her eyesight. “You’re not dating right now, right?”

  “No. I’m not.” But, maybe that could change. Why did she care anyway? Was I not allowed to be attracted to someone without it being the topic of camp conversation? Okay, so maybe it was more than just attraction, but still. I huffed a breath and pulled a set of pajamas out of my drawer. “And what happened between me and Tucker isn’t anyone else’s business.”

  She shook her head, releasing her hair. “You move pretty fast for a girl who claims she’s not interested.”

  There was no bone in my body that wanted to do this with her right now. Interested was a funny word. It felt so much deeper than that. But, it couldn’t be. We’d only known each other for two weeks. Still. Interested wasn’t right.

  What would the word be?

  I was still trying to figure it out, but I hadn’t had the chance to sit and process it yet. I thought the courts would be my saving grace, but then Nick showed up. With her. “Thanks for your concern, Lauren, but I need to take a shower and get some sleep. Campers are coming tomorrow.”

  She pulled her sketchbook off of her nightstand and opened the cover. “I don’t know why I’m so worried about it. It’s not like you’re his type.”

  I shrugged her off and hit the shower, trying to get some sleep after my day, but it was hard to do when everyone at camp knew I’d kissed Tucker.

  My Bridgeport plan was failing fast. I bowed my heart and asked God to show me what He wanted me to do, but the answer wasn’t clear. I knew He called me up here. Hopefully, He’d show me soon.