The Mysterious Coat

by Nicholas Walsh

  ‘Good grief, did Robert drink all the alcoholic drinks during his hiding at the Duke of York Hotel?’ says Mr Pluck.

  ‘Yes,’ says the policeman.

  ‘When?’ says Mr Pluck.

  ‘Last night,’ says the policeman.

  ‘God, I suppose I thought he would die after drinking too many alcoholic drinks last night,’ says Mr Pluck. ‘I think he should drink himself to death or choke on his own vomit.’

  ‘Yes, he also drank the last two glasses of beer,’ says the policeman. ‘One for breakfast and one last one before his suicide.’

  ‘When?’ says Mr Pluck.

  ‘Today,’ says the policeman. ‘Robert also had all of the snack food for breakfast before his suicide today.’

  ‘Good God, this hotel is going to be dry now,’ says Mr Pluck.

  ‘Why?’ says the policeman.

  ‘Because we’ve run out of alcoholic drinks, except the beer taps. We’ve also run out of snack foods because Robert drank it all and ate it all before his suicide. He is a pig!’ frowns Mr Pluck.

  ‘Calm down, Mr Pluck,’ says the policeman. ‘Just calm down and relax. I don’t want you to have a heart attack.’

  ‘I don’t want to die from a bloody heart attack, I want to live,’ says Mr Pluck.

  ‘How old are you?’ says the policeman.

  ‘I’m just fifty-eight and I’m in grey power,’ says Mr Pluck.

  ‘I see,’ says the policeman.

  ‘Look, why don’t you keep cleaning up the mess and I’ll go to my office and call the brewery companies, the wine companies, the spirit companies and other companies to get more alcoholic drinks, and the snack food companies to get more snack foods before the Duke of York Hotel becomes a pub with no beer – now clear out!’ says Mr Pluck.

  He leaves the bar and walks to his office, but a uniformed policewoman walks to the policeman and says to him, ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘Nothing,’ says the policeman.

  ‘Are you all right?’ says the uniformed policewoman.

  ‘I’m fine, it’s all right,’ says the policeman.

  ‘Is there anything wrong?’ says the uniformed policewoman.

  ‘Look, everything’s fine,’ says the policeman, ‘Get back to work, now rack off!’

  He leaves the policewoman and continues to clean up the mess on the floor of the Duke of York Hotel, but is there something wrong for the police after Robert’s suicide? Who is to blame? Them or Mr Pluck?

  At the police station, Inspector Mack Young opens one of the filing cabinets which says Criminals Profile and Criminal Records T–Z and searches for a file with the letter T until he points to Taylor. He takes the file out of the cabinet and walks to the desk to sit down. He opens the file, turns the first three pages and says to Tyler, Angelique and Peter, ‘Now, this is Robert’s past life in his file, but during his last interview he told me that he had a childhood trauma about his alcoholic and violent father who was a wife-basher and a drunk.’

  ‘What is a wife-basher?’ says Tyler.

  ‘It means a violent husband who bashes his wife during their marriage,’ says Mack.

  ‘Oh my God, that’s sexual abuse,’ says Angelique.

  ‘No, Angelique, it is abuse,’ says Mack.

  ‘Well, how should wives fight against bastard husbands? Should they kill them as revenge?’ says Peter.

  ‘Good question, but did you know, some wives are arrested and charged with murder?’ says Mack.

  ‘Right,’ says Peter. ‘I think violent husbands are disgraceful because they are arseholes.’

  ‘Okay, that’s enough about marriages going wrong. We’re going to talk about Robert’s past life. Are you ready to listen?’ says Mack.

  ‘Yes,’ says Tyler. ‘And so are Angelique and Peter.’

  ‘All right,’ says Mack, so he coughs and starts reading the fourth page about Robert’s file and says to Tyler, Angelique and Peter, ‘“Robert Ernest Taylor was born in Prahran. His father’s name was Bob and he was a labourer, but he was also an alcoholic. His mother’s name was Barbara, who worked for the supermarket as a checkout girl. At the age of two when his youngest brother Steve was born, his childhood became traumatic when his father started abusing his mother by using both physical and sexual abuse, sexual assault, bashing and of course, rape for seven years, but his father also started abusing him by teasing, bullying and abuse for seven years. At the age of nine, Robert’s parents divorced due to his father’s alcoholism and violent behaviour, and Robert’s mother looked after both him and his brother. A year later, in between Robert’s tenth birthday and before his first crime, Robert’s father took his own life by hanging himself to death at an abandoned building after a long drinking session at a pub in Prahran. He suffered from depression after Robert’s mother and children left him due to his violent and alcoholic behaviour.”’

  ‘Just like Robert a few years later,’ says Peter, but Mack stops reading the fourth page of the file, takes the file and gives it to Peter and says to him, ‘Here, Peter, take the pages and go and photocopy them so you, Tyler and Angelique can send them to Dr Airhardt later or tomorrow, because Airhardt is a psychiatrist. There’s a photocopy machine here in one of the offices in our police station.’

  ‘No worries, Inspector,’ says Peter, so he stands up from one of the chairs, walks to the door, opens the door, exits and shuts the door, but Tyler says to Mack, ‘Um, Inspector?’

  ‘Yes, Tyler?’ says Mack.

  ‘I found a note which was in the secret room of the Duke of York Hotel and it was by Robert,’ says Tyler.

  ‘All right, show it to me,’ says Mack.

  ‘Yes, Inspector,’ says Tyler, so he takes the note which was written by Robert out of his pocket and gives it to Mack, but when Mack reads the note, he is shocked, frowns and says, ‘Good God, what did Robert want?’

  ‘It seems Robert wanted to enjoy the entertainment of a private dancer to dance for him’ says Tyler.

  Mack stops reading the note, puts it on his desk, stops frowning and says to Tyler, ‘Tyler, there is lots of security here at every nightspot in Melbourne and the suburbs, but there is only one street in Melbourne which has the highest crime rate and it is King Street. It is one of the most dangerous streets in Melbourne,’ says Mack. ‘It has stabbings, fights, brawls, drug-taking and other types of crime. It’s at every nightspot and we are worried about a crime spree. Have you ever been to King Street in Melbourne before?’

  ‘Yes, I’ve been to King Street in Melbourne once when me, Peter and my other friends went to visit a strip club for a guys’ night out,’ says Tyler.

  ‘Did you see any crimes in King Street?’ says Mack.

  ‘Yes, I saw a man who had a fight against another man over a dancer. Both men were kicked out by a bouncer and I was scared,’ says Tyler.

  ‘Did you report the crime to us or just only to security?’ says Mack.

  ‘I don’t know,’ says Tyler.

  ‘Tyler, we’re patrolling the streets in both Melbourne and the suburbs every day and night and we’re stopping the crimes; do you understand?’ says Mack.

  ‘Yes, Inspector!’ says Tyler. ‘I understand!’

  ‘So what happened after this incident that you witnessed?’ says Mack.

  ‘After we visited the strip club, I told Peter and my other mates that we’re not going to visit King Street again, and we will never visit this street in Melbourne again, so we went to Lonsdale Street in Melbourne and visited another strip club and even Caulfield visiting different nightspots because I wanted to be safe,’ says Tyler.

  ‘So were you safe in both Lonsdale Street and Caulfield?’ says Mack.

  ‘Yes,’ says Tyler.

  ‘Don’t worry, every person has got to look after themselves and also protect their friends when they’re going to have a good time,’ says Mack.

  ‘I know,’ says Tyler, so he puts his hands over his eyes and shakes his head, but Mack says to him, ‘What’s the matter, Tyler?’
/>
  Tyler doesn’t answer, and Mack says to him, ‘Are you all right?’

  ‘No,’ says Tyler. ‘I want to stop crime at any nightspot in Melbourne and the suburbs because I hate crime.’

  ‘Don’t get upset, Tyler,’ says Mack. ‘Dr Airhardt and I are trying to help you. We are crime fighters.’

  Tyler stops shaking his head and says to himself, ‘We’ve done enough.’ Then, he stops putting his hands over his eyes, faces Mack and says to him, ‘Really?’

  ‘Yes,’ says Mack.

  ‘Okay,’ says Tyler. ‘I know you’re the best policeman I’ve ever seen in my life and you and Dr Airhardt are helping me to solve a crime and a mystery that made me crazy in my life.’

  ‘Yes, we’re helping you to solve a crime and a mystery that makes you crazy in your life,’ says Mack. ‘We’re going to be the best by stopping crime in St Kilda.’

  ‘Is there something I can do for you, Inspector?’ says Tyler.

  ‘No, Tyler,’ says Mack. ‘We’re just investigating other crimes in St Kilda, and we’re fighting against the crimes every day and night in St Kilda because we want St Kilda to become the safest suburb of Melbourne in the history of both St Kilda and Melbourne.’

  ‘Is that your plan?’ says Tyler.

  ‘Yes,’ says Mack, but there is a knock on the door and Tyler says, ‘I’ll get it.’ He opens the door and it is Peter whose arms are full of papers. He gives them to Tyler and says to him, ‘Here’s the pages of Robert Taylor’s file.’

  ‘Thanks, mate,’ says Tyler, so he walks back to Mack who is still sitting in his chair next to his desk, puts the pages of Robert’s file on the desk and says to Mack, ‘I think Angelique, Peter and I are going to leave so we can go see Dr Airhardt to talk about Robert’s past life and, of course, his suicide at the Duke of York Hotel.’

  ‘All right, just call me at my office if you have more news about Robert,’ says Mack.

  ‘Thank you, Inspector,’ says Tyler. ‘Goodbye.’

  Angelique stands up from one of the chairs and then, she and Tyler walk to Peter and exit, but Tyler says to Peter, ‘Let’s go.’

  At Dr Airhardt’s office, he is sitting on his chair when he hears a knock at the door.

  ‘Come in.’

  The door opens and it is Tyler, Angelique and Peter with the copies of Robert’s police file in their hands. Tyler shuts the door but when he, Angelique and Peter walk to Dr Airhardt, Dr Airhardt says to Tyler, ‘Oh, hello, Tyler. Any news about Robert?’

  ‘Yes,’ says Tyler. ‘He’s dead.’

  ‘Oh no,’ says Dr Airhardt. ‘What happened?’

  ‘He shot himself to death when he suicided during a siege without hostages at the Duke of York Hotel,’ says Tyler.

  ‘My God, did you help him?’ says Dr Airhardt.

  ‘Yes, I tried to help him when the police put me to check how he was going, but he wanted me to leave him alone because he wanted to be alone,’ says Tyler.

  ‘Mmmm, that’s not good. There are some criminals who have suicided or attempted suicide when they suffered from depression or post-traumatic stress disorder following their crimes,’ says Dr Airhardt.

  ‘I got copies of Robert’s police file about his past life for you if you’re going to make a file of him when you write about his personalities and behaviours,’ says Peter, so he gives copies of Robert’s police file to Dr Airhardt.

  Dr Airhardt says, ‘Thank you. What happened in his past life?’

  ‘He had a childhood trauma,’ says Tyler.

  ‘Really?’ says Dr Airhardt.

  ‘Yes, he and his mother were the victims of his alcoholic and violent father,’ says Tyler.

  ‘Oh no, that’s terrible,’ says Dr Airhardt, ‘What happened to his father now?’

  ‘He’s died a long time ago, but he’s such a big bloody wanker because he’s violent and drunk,’ says Tyler.

  ‘Oh dear me,’ says Dr Airhardt. ‘I’ll make a file about Robert so I’m going to write about his traumas, his personalities and his behaviours. Do you think it’s a good idea?’

  ‘Yes,’ says Tyler.

  ‘All right. So what are you going to do now? What’s your plan?’ says Dr Airhardt.

  ‘Maybe Angelique, Peter and I are going to my apartment block and I’m going to call Mr Pluck on the phone about what’s going to happen to the Duke of York Hotel now that the siege without hostages is over and Robert is gone,’ says Tyler.

  ‘Yeah, Tyler and I are not sure about when we should go back to work at the hotel because the big day is coming,’ says Angelique.

  ‘Well, just be patient and wait, all right?’ says Dr Airhardt.

  ‘Okay, see you next time, goodbye,’ says Tyler.

  He, Angelique and Peter walk to the door, open the door and exit.

  Dr Airhardt stands up from his chair and walks to get his office stuff. Then he’s going to make a new file about Robert.

  CHAPTER 45

  F

  ive days later at Tyler’s apartment block, Angelique and Tyler are getting ready to go to Robert’s funeral. They are dressed all in black. Angelique is also wearing black sunglasses and a black hat, just like a widow. Angelique has worn this outfit to other funerals, including her late father.

  ‘Do you think it’s going to be alright for you and I to attend Robert’s funeral?’

  ‘Look, Angelique, I think no. We’re not going to attend his funeral; we’re going to watch it.’

  ‘Okay, that would be a good idea,’ says Angelique.

  ‘Yes, I’m not sure how the victims of Robert’s crimes, including me, are going to feel. I’m not sure if the victim support groups are a good idea.’

  ‘Tyler, don’t help the victim support groups,’ says Angelique. ‘I don’t want you to become an activist.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because I want you to be a good and better man because we are going to get married, I want you to be a good husband and when we have children, I want you to be a good father.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Yes.’

  Tyler looks at his watch on his left wrist, and the time reads half-past-nine, so he says to Angelique, ‘Well, I think we better go now. The funeral is going to start in thirty minutes. But I have an idea.’

  ‘What it is?’

  ‘We’re going to meet Robert’s brother, Steve, and his mother, Barbara, during Robert’s burial at the cemetery. I’ll interview them about Robert. Later, we’re going to visit the police station to talk to Mack, and then, Dr Airhardt. But don’t worry, it won’t be like a current affairs show on television,’ says Tyler.

  ‘Good idea, Tyler.’

  ‘All right, Angelique, let’s go.’ At the lounge room door, Tyler stops walking. ‘Oh, I forgot something.’

  Tyler walks back to his desk, opens one of the drawers, takes out a writing pad and shuts the drawer. He walks back to Angelique and gives the writing pad and a pen to her.

  Angelique says to Tyler, ‘Are we going to interview Steve and Barbara later?’

  ‘I’ll talk, you write,’ says Tyler.

  ‘Okay,’ says Angelique, as Tyler opens the door.

  At Holy Star Church, there is a coffin which has Robert Taylor’s body inside. The coffin is on the top of a stand next to the pulpit. In the pews, members of Robert’s family and friends are sitting on the seats, and they are sad because they’re going to miss Robert. There is a speaker up on the wall which is playing relaxation music as introductory music. At the door of the church, Tyler and Angelique are about to enter. They stop walking and stand at the exit doorway. Tyler turns to Angelique.

  ‘Look, Angelique, there’s Robert’s family and friends.’

  ‘Mmm, I see.’

  ‘I’m not sure what his family and friends think about his crimes, or him being a mysterious person who wears the mysterious coat,’ says Tyler.

  ‘During his life?’ asks Angelique.

  ‘Yes,’ says Tyler, but just then a priest of the Holy Star Church wal
ks over to Tyler and Angelique and says, ‘Excuse me, you two, are you attending this funeral?’

  ‘No, thank you, we’re just going to watch,’ says Tyler.

  ‘Okay,’ says the priest and he leaves Tyler and Angelique because Robert’s funeral is about to start. Five minutes later when Robert’s funeral has started, a celebrant with a white robe enters the altar and walks to the pulpit. He coughs, and starts speaking to Robert’s family and friends.

  ‘Good morning, everybody. I would like to welcome you all to the celebration of the life of Robert Taylor. Robert Taylor was basically a good man. He just wanted to keep his life private from his family and friends and he also wanted to keep himself away from everybody else. This is because he lied to others about his private life. He didn’t want anybody else to be telling him the truth and …’

  Five minutes later after the celebrant’s speech is finished, Robert’s brother Steve, who is married with two young children and of average height and wearing a black suit, walks to the pulpit. He takes a piece of paper out of his black pants which has written on it the words of Dr Seuss. He starts reading it to his family and friends.

  ‘“But on you will go though the weather be foul, on you will go though your enemies prowl, on you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl, onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak!”’

  Steve then takes a long pause, and all the people, including his mother, Barbara, wait for him to speak.

  ‘“Oh, the places you’ll go!”’ He closes the piece of paper and puts it back into one of the pockets of his black pants, and says to his family and Robert’s friends, ‘I’m going to miss my brother now, and my family will also miss him because he ain’t heavy, he’s my brother. Thank you very much.’ Steve leaves the pulpit as he is a bit upset about the loss of his brother. He walks back to the seats to sit next to his wife and two young children.

  Five minutes later after the organ music finishes, Robert’s mother, Barbara, who is middle-aged and wearing a black dress, enters the altar area and walks to the pulpit.