Times Like These

by Laura Carter

  Stunned, Rosalie could only stare at her so-called friend.

  ‘Andi,’ Hannah admonished quietly.

  ‘No, Hannah. It is ridiculous. You can see that. It’s… farcical.’

  Rosalie pressed her hand to her pounding heart in her chest. ‘I knew it. You do think I’m ridiculous. All the… Alllll the things I do for you and I ask you for one small thing, just one time.’ With her napkin, she dabbed at the wetness that formed in the corners of her eyes. Andrea could be so cruel.

  Then she felt Andrea’s cold palm on top of hers on the table. ‘I’m sorry. When you have your label, of course we can swap tips. Okay? I didn’t mean to upset you.’

  ‘You’re just saying that because you think I’m causing a scene.’

  ‘No. No, I’m not, Ros. I mean it. It’s just this damned heartburn has got me in a foul mood. Promise.’

  ‘Come on then, Ros,’ Hannah said. ‘Tell us about your baby-daddies.’

  ‘Oh, yes.’ She bounced on her seat. ‘Well, I had my first daddy date last week.’

  ‘I thought the idea was that you were looking for fancy sperm, not romance,’ Hannah said.

  ‘Oh, it’s not really dating in the romantic sense but describing it as a meet-up to interrogate a potential sperm giver doesn’t quite have the same ring to it now, does it?’

  Hannah chuckled, her bicker-fest with Andrea seemingly forgotten. ‘It’s like Tinder for sperm. It’s Spinder.’

  ‘Which is scarily close to spinster,’ Andrea laughed good-naturedly.

  Rosalie protested but she could admit it was quite funny and at least her friends were back in good spirits. ‘Well it’s quite possible I’ll die a spinster because my first date was with a gay daddy.’

  Silence descended on the table just in time for their food to be set down. Rosalie inhaled the smells – truffle, garlic, lemongrass – from around the table. Whilst she drifted to a culinary heaven, she noticed Andrea’s face screw at either the sight or scent of her lunch portion of pappardelle.

  ‘Is it okay, Andi?’ Rosalie asked.

  ‘Mmmhmm.’ She nodded. ‘Just this indigestion knocking me sick.’

  Whilst Andrea played with her food, Hannah continued to quiz Rosalie on her gay daddy date.

  ‘But, like, when it came to the baby-making part?’ Hannah asked.

  ‘Yes, well, in his case, there wouldn’t be conventional vaginal conception,’ Rosalie said. ‘I mean, unless he… Well, no, I guess it wouldn’t work.’

  ‘Oh my goodness, I’m dying over here. Ros, you are the perfect medicine for me,’ Hannah said, dabbing tears from her eyes as she laughed.

  ‘What? It’s okay to say vaginal,’ Rosalie countered. ‘My mentor at Swans says it’s important to use the correct terms and get comfortable with the process and my body. My vagina, womb, cervix, all of that.’

  ‘On a serious note,’ Hannah began, ‘would having a gay father for your child bother you?’

  Rosalie shrugged. ‘You mean in terms of values and lifestyle?’

  ‘I guess,’ Hannah said. ‘I’m not saying I have an issue with gay people here, or gay couples having children, don’t misunderstand me.’

  Rosalie put a hand to her friend’s arm. ‘Of course you’re not.’

  Hannah was the least discriminatory person Rosalie knew, if there was such a thing. Hannah had been through struggles with perceptions and awkward conversations about her being white, Rod being black and their kids being of mixed heritage, at least a thousand times, that Rosalie knew of.

  ‘I guess you mean because the baby would have a heterosexual experience with Mom and a homosexual experience with Dad, right?’

  ‘Well, yeah,’ Hannah said.

  Rosalie chewed a mouthful of food. ‘I’ve definitely thought about it but I think where I get to, is that it wouldn’t be the most conventional start to life in any event and later, I guess it would become just the same as if Mom, me and Dad were divorced, except they’d never put the kid through all the fighting and hate to get there.’

  ‘In some ways,’ Hannah said, ‘it would be great that the child got to see different options, too. It doesn’t have to be straight, or gay, or feel guilty about being whoever it wants to be because Mom and Dad are clearly open to anything.’

  Rosalie smiled. ‘Exactly. As it happens, I don’t think last week’s guy is going to be the sperm to my egg…’

  Hannah choked on her next mouthful of fizz. Rosalie patted her back as she continued.

  ‘But I wouldn’t say ‘no’ to daddy-dating another gay man. I suppose it might be a shame to completely rule out the idea of romance but that’s not the main driver here. I checked the ‘open to options’ box on my agency form. Plus, I totally love the gays. Wouldn’t my kid be more fashionable in the city that never sleeps with a Mommy and a Gaddy? It would have, like, supreme emotional intelligence, taste and class. And, I’m not going to lie, if I never have to compete with the baby daddy’s younger wife with pert boobs and a perfectly formed butt, I won’t be sorry.’

  ‘Hell, I’m convinced. I think I’m going to trade in Rod for a gay daddy,’ Hannah said.

  ‘So, Ros, how has Sofia been recently, at the studio, I mean? Has my dad been at the studio a lot?’ Andrea asked.

  ‘Actually, I’m pleased you asked. I wanted to mention something but I didn’t want it to seem like I was telling tales.’

  ‘Go on.’

  ‘Well, Jimmy is helping out and I think it’s because Jay is using again. I overheard some of Sofia’s artists complaining that Jay hadn’t shown up for their recording sessions.’

  With pursed lips, Andrea nodded. ‘Thanks, Ros. It’s good to know you’re there to keep an eye on her. Sofia hardly tells me anything these days. And asking about Jay is like lighting her fuse.’ She shook her head. ‘I wish she would see Jay for what he is before he ruins both their lives.’

  ‘Is anyone having dessert?’ a waiter asked as he cleared their plates.

  ‘Oh, let’s take a peek,’ Hannah said, glancing to Andrea, who seemed to subtly give the green light to Hannah in her PA capacity.

  ‘So, Andi,’ Rosalie began, taking the dessert menu that was handed to her. ‘Tell me about you seeing Tommy Dawson, again.’

  ‘Hannah should learn to hold her water. And I’m not seeing Tommy. I have never been seeing Tommy. He’s hardly the kind of man someone has a relationship with.’

  ‘Permission to rephrase?’ Rosalie asked, setting down her menu and deciding against dessert for the sake of her waistline, no matter how much she wanted one. ‘So, Andi, Hannah tells me you had a night of romping Tommy Dawson.’

  With clear reluctance, Andrea laughed with them. ‘If you must know, it was one extremely long, hot, spine-tinglingly great night. And then it was done.’

  ‘Oh, tease. Tell me more,’ Rosalie said.

  Andrea smiled and, if Rosalie hadn’t known her better, she might have even thought she blushed. ‘There’s nothing more to tell. Tommy and I get each other. But we understand each other for a few hours at a time. He’s not the kind of guy who settles down. Despite what he says about turning over new leaves.’

  ‘But would you want to… if he did?’ Rosalie probed.

  ‘God, no. The timing would be awful.’

  ‘Really? How so?’ Rosalie suspected the timing would be just fine, which meant Andrea would never risk going for it, in case it actually worked out.

  ‘Ah… well, I… erm… with the promotion. Work is so busy,’ Andrea fumbled.

  ‘But work will always be busy, won’t it?’ Rosalie asked. ‘I mean, look at Daddy. He’s so hardworking but he manages to be a great husband and father too. You can find a balance, like Daddy has.’

  Andrea fiddled with her water glass, seemingly unconvinced, though Rosalie could understand that. Her father was an incredible man and probably most men in his position – CEO of XM Music Group – wouldn’t have the best of every world. They’d probably be divorced or cheating or doing neither of those things but
underperforming at work.

  ‘But, Andi, Tommy was so sweet at the Presley John concert,’ Rosalie pressed. ‘He kept asking about you.’

  ‘He did?’ Andrea asked.

  ‘He did,’ Rosalie and Hannah said in unison.

  ‘Plus,’ Rosalie said, ‘correct me if I’m wrong here but hasn’t it been, like, a reeeeally long time since you’ve been with a man?’

  Andrea’s eyes shot wide. Oh she could be a prude. ‘And, on that note, we need to settle the check and get back to the office.’

  Once lunch had been called to an abrupt end, Rosalie decided to walk to Sanfia Records. Her job was now twofold. One, she had to learn everything she could about the indie music scene. Two, she was going to make it her mission to find out just how bad things were between Sofia and Jay and report back to her big sister. Rosalie wouldn’t sit back and let Sofia suffer.

  * * *

  By the time that she had reached Sanfia Records, Rosalie’s feet were red and swollen, her skin was flushed and her hair had lost its bounce. Why on earth had she decided to walk?

  Stepping inside the studio, she took a moment to compose herself, slipping her feet from her heels one at a time and wiggling her toes before replacing her feet in her shoes.

  As she tangle-teased her long locks, she overheard who she thought was Jimmy, speaking with Sofia in the studio office along the corridor.

  ‘What happened to your eye?’ Jimmy snapped.

  ‘We had an accident. Spilled milk,’ Sofia told him. ‘Really, Dad. The milk carton spilled. Jay and I both bent to clean it up at the same time and we… I don’t know, clashed somehow. It looks worse because it’s on the bone.’

  Rosalie tiptoed closer to the office door. After a pause, Jimmy spoke softly.

  ‘I want you to promise me one thing, Sofia. If there’s ever something you feel like you can’t get out of, you tell me. All right?’

  ‘Dad, it’s a milk injury, that’s all,’ she snapped.

  ‘Life doesn’t give us points for being a martyr, Sofia. Some things, some people, they can’t be fixed.’

  As Rosalie snuck a glance around the frame of the door, Sofia, who had her back to Rosalie, slammed her hand on her desk and turned to face Jimmy. ‘I know what you’re implying. I know what you think of Jay. Hell, I know what everyone thinks of Jay. But I married him, Dad. He’s my husband. In sickness and in health. My family. What would I do…? What would it make me if I walk away when he needs me the most?’

  ‘He’s our family too, Sofia. Yours, mine and your sister’s. Now, maybe we haven’t been the strongest advocates of him in the past but we don’t want to see him out of his head. For your sake and his.’

  Sofia nodded and appeared to swallow deeply.

  ‘But, kiddo, this isn’t a one-off. When people get sick, they get help. If he won’t get help, he’s not sick, he’s a drain on my daughter.’

  ‘He. Is. My. Husband.’

  Jimmy scoffed. ‘Sometimes, I blame myself for this sense of… pride or foolishness you have. Loyalty should be rewarded, not abused. You have a choice.’

  ‘Like Mom did? Did she have a choice?’

  ‘That was different. Your mom was stuck in a situation with two unfair options. You’re not trapped, Sofia. You don’t have to be.’

  She sucked in a breath. ‘Dad, could you please just not? The last thing I need right now is a lecture. I’m worn out from it all. I came here to get away and I’ve had some great news about Seth. Can we not focus on that?’

  His stern face softened and his shoulders dropped from their rigid position. ‘Let’s talk about Seth. Are you calling him?’

  ‘He’s coming in shortly. I think I’d like to tell him in person. We’re finishing the EP today.’

  ‘Another chart hit, for sure,’ Jimmy said, tugging Sofia into his side and dropping a kiss to her temple.

  ‘Let’s hope so.’

  ‘You know, I hate to state the obvious here but chart positions mean Nashville will come knocking.’

  It was exactly as Andrea had said over lunch. Someone like Seth would be highly sought after; with chart hits, a famous brother, a military background to pull on the heart strings. The thought of him being snatched away from Sofia and Sanfia Records made Rosalie feel sad. Sofia didn’t deserve that.

  As Rosalie adjusted her weight on her sore feet, the floor creaked beneath her. She quickly knocked on the open door and smiled, as Sofia, just as quickly, put on a pair of white trimmed sunglasses. Her hair was still part wet, as if she had let it dry naturally after washing. Her skin looked pale and her jeans, lumberjack shirt and boots looked less casual style and more downtrodden today.

  ‘Knock, knock,’ Rosalie almost sang.

  ‘Ros, hi,’ Sofia said, surprised.

  ‘I know I’m here unannounced but—’

  Before she could offer Sofia the gift she had brought, Billy, Frankie and Seth burst into the studio, all joking and chatting loudly, until they reached the office and Seth paused, his eyes narrowing as he took in Rosalie’s presence.

  ‘Hey,’ he said to Sofia. ‘Hey Jimmy,’ he said, shaking Jimmy’s hand. He ignored Rosalie completely.

  ‘Let’s head into the sound booth, there’s more space,’ Sofia said and the others led the way, leaving Rosalie limping along behind them, with her gifts in her shopping bag.

  If there was one thing Rosalie hated more than fashion faux pas, it was being ignored.

  Clearing her throat, loudly, she said, ‘I brought some gifts. For you, Sofia, and one for you, Seth. To say, you know, well done for hitting the billboard charts and, I guess, as an apology for acting rashly at the Presley John concert.’

  Setting her shopping bag down on the sofa where Frankie had flopped down, she took two wrapped photo frames and handed one each to Sofia and Seth.

  As they unwrapped their gifts, she explained, ‘A friend of mine was the official stage photographer at the concert and I just loved these. Sofia, you have Seth and the guys. And, Seth, the photographer got a great shot of you and Randy, hugging at the end of the performance. And don’t worry, I told him that shouldn’t go anywhere. That you don’t want to, you know, play on the whole brother thing.’

  She watched Seth as he considered the photograph, leaning back against the wall, unmoved and quiet. ‘Well…? Do you like it?’ She wasn’t at all used to this level of delayed gratification.

  Seth looked up to her as he set the picture aside and simply said, ‘Thank you.’

  Thank you? Not, you didn’t have to buy me a gift. Or, actually, Rosalie, I realise I was a complete asshole to you at the concert and I’m sorry. Just, thank you.

  Scowling, she told him, ‘It’s a shame you hadn’t kept that style from the concert. You looked much more palatable with a facial hair trim, polished shoes and a jacket.’

  It was childish but he made her say it.

  Sofia chuckled, then said, ‘I love it, Ros. I’ll put it on the wall in the sound booth. Thanks, so much.’

  ‘Yay! So, it’s okay that I’m here?’

  ‘Of course it’s okay, Ros,’ Sofia, said, already replacing a framed picture of The Beatles on the wall with the picture Rosalie had gifted to her.

  Despite her pouting and planting her hands on her hips in waiting, Seth didn’t confirm her presence was okay. What was his problem?

  ‘Seth, perhaps you could hang yours in your apartment,’ she quipped. ‘I have no idea where you live. In fact, I dread to think. But I can tell that you need to seriously feng-shui, my friend. Your aura is needlessly prickly.’

  At that, Jimmy, Frankie and Billy laughed, dragging a half-smile, which Rosalie could admit was quite a treat, from Seth.

  14

  Hannah

  Andrea had been stomping ahead of Hannah into the office after their lunch with Rosalie at Meadow Sweet. Her temperament was always volatile but it had been especially so in recent days. Was it that she missed Hunter? Was it that she walked out on Tommy after their night together and now Hannah
was having to field his calls, wondering why the heck Andrea had left him? She didn’t know. She would never know because when Andrea decided to shut down, she couldn’t be prised open.

  What she did know was that Andrea’s hips were swinging with prime-time swagger as her stilettos pounded the sidewalk as best their skinny heels could.

  Hannah had learned that silence was best in these situations. Until the volcano finally erupted, Hannah had no way of telling whether that hot lava was coming after her in a friend capacity or in her capacity as an executive PA.

  They reached the revolving entrance doors to XM Music Group’s office block. Andrea paused, then sighed, then spun those doors so fast that Hannah decided it would be safer to let her complete the revolution alone.

  And she did complete the revolution. After a full three-sixty walk through the revolving doors, Andrea was back on the sidewalk, facing Hannah, on the verge of eruption.

  ‘Isn’t it enough that everyone in this place thinks I slept my way to the top?’ she ground out through her teeth.

  ‘Now, everyone will be saying there goes Andrea, CEO of Stellar label, who slept with the boss and screwed her clients to keep them.’

  The way her arms flailed as she spoke and her cheeks flushed red, made the situation almost comical.

  ‘Is that why you encouraged me to go to Tommy’s? Huh? So you could tell everyone? Gossip to whoever will listen?’

  Hannah felt like shaking Andrea’s shoulders hard, both in anger and to stop the hysteria. She raised her arm and forced her fingers to point instead.

  ‘You decided to go to Tommy because you were mourning the loss of dirty grandpa from your panties. You decided to fuck Tommy. Yes, I thought seeing Tommy was a better idea than pining after that douchebag, Hunter. He’s a significant improvement from screwing your friend’s dad.

  ‘You like Tommy, whether you can admit it to yourself or not. And he likes you. Hence him calling my desk every second to find out why you’re not taking his calls and why you walked out on him, again. Which, by the way, is a question only you can answer because, despite the fact you do like Tommy and you’ve gone back there a thousand times in the past, you left him, again.’