Outcome

by Kim Pritekel

  "Na unh, you wanted ice cream, Andi." I looked down into narrowed eyes, and heard a bout of laughter. I glared up at Haley.

  "Okay, okay. So I’m the one with the sweet tooth." Kendall smiled triumphantly.

  "Well, I see nothing’s changed there." Haley grinned.

  "Ha ha. So is your mom still teaching?" Haley nodded.

  "Yes, but only part time over the past year, so she could be with dad. Her school has been wonderful about it."

  "That’s great."

  "How’s your mom, Andi? I haven’t seen her in years. Does she still make those wonderful brownies?" Kendall giggled.

  "I had some last weekend."

  "Well, you’re one lucky little girl, then."

  "Care to sit?" I patted the bench next to me.

  "Sure."

  "Anyway, so yes she does, and she’s doing great. She’s finally made it to head nurse at the hospital."

  "Oh, how wonderful." Haley crossed her legs, setting the package she’d been holding down next to her.

  "She got married recently."

  "Married? Your mom? Wow. To who?"

  "To a guy she had been seeing for a while. I don’t know if you remember Clive?"

  "Of course I do. He was great on the barbeque grill."

  "Still is." We both chuckled. "They split up for about five years or so, then ran into each other again, and the rest is history."

  "That’s really neat. Your mom is such a wonderful woman. How about your brother?" I was amazed and impressed with how much she remembered of my life and family. So maybe I was the only schmuck who couldn’t remember my own name.

  "Chris is doing great. He and his wife are expecting any day now." A soft smile spread across Haley’s lips, and into her eyes.

  "Ah. So sweet. You’ll be an aunt. Is this their first?" I nodded.

  "He and his friend, Brian opened up a garage a few years back, and I have never had to pay for an oil change since." She threw her head back as laughter came out. I smiled, looking at her. She was such a nice person. I had forgotten that. Just one smile could brighten up the room.

  "Does he work on foreign cars, too?" I nodded. "Wow. I may have to try this out." She smiled. "Good for him."

  "Yes, we’re very proud of him. You have a brother, right?"

  "I sure do." Score for Andi! "He lives in New York and works as an architect."

  "Wow. Knock me over with a feather."

  "I know. Holden isn’t quite the little heathen I always figured he’d be. Actually, he was trying to get picked up by the Minnesota Twins in college, but unfortunately he got picked over. So, off he went. He’s engaged to be married to a wonderful girl named Stacey. Very nice girl, also an architect."

  "Very smart girl."

  "That she is."

  "There you are." We all looked up and saw Mrs. Corregan standing in front of us. Haley stood.

  "Mom, do you remember Andi Littman?"

  "Of course. How are you, dear?" She smiled warmly at me, and I smiled back. Wow, she had aged. I figured it was probably all that she’d been through with her husband. Poor woman.

  "I’m fine." I stood, placing my hand on her arm briefly. "I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. I know that this is not an easy disease to combat."

  "Oh, thank you, honey. From what I hear, I know you’ll come up with some wonderful cure that will take care of Tim." I glanced at Haley to see her smiling proudly at me. I looked down, feeling rather sheepish at the praise.

  "Well, I’ll certainly do my best."

  "So tell me, Andi, are you still an Eddie Bauer nut?" Again, feeling rather sheepish, I reached under the bench and grabbed a plastic shopping bag, holding it up for her to see. She laughed.

  "You’re hopeless. Tell me those aren’t hiking boots." I could see Kendall nodding vigorously out of the corner of my eye. I held the bag tightly around the package inside so she could see the outline of a rectangle box. Haley shook her head. "I knew it." Did this woman forget nothing?

  "Well, it helps to be predictable, especially during the holidays." I winked at her, and she grinned.

  "Well, mom. You ready?"

  "Ready when you are, hon." Both turned to me and Kendall who had also stood by my side.

  "It was great chatting with you two." Haley smiled at Kendall. "And it was definitely nice to meet you, Kendall."

  "It was nice to meet you, too, Haley." Kendal smiled, puffing her little chest out, proud to feel like one of the adults.

  "Take care, Mrs. Corregan."

  "Thank you, dear, and how many times do I have to tell you to call me Marsha?" she waggled a finger at me good-naturedly. I smiled, nodding.

  "Duly chastised."

  I watched the two walk away, chatting amongst themselves, and my eyes drifted to Haley. It seemed bit by bit, day by day more of my time with her came back to me until she filled my thoughts, trying to remember. Wanting to.

  "She’s a nice lady." I was ripped from my thoughts by Kendall’s words. I nodded as we started down the main hall of the mall.

  "Yes, she is."

  * * *

  I dropped Kendall off at home, and decided to take the extra time to head home to Winston and visit my mom. As I drove through my hometown, I took in the business that lined the streets, all so familiar to me. Places I’d hung out at with my family, by myself, and with Haley. I stopped at a traffic light, glanced over to my left. Carlos’s Pizza Heaven was packed, cars filling the parking lot, and people going in and out.

  A smile spread across my face as I remembered Haley and I there. We had almost adopted it as our hang out. We’d spend many hours there, and had lots of good laughs and talks.

  The light turned green, and I drove on.

  "Hello? Anyone home?" I laid my car keys on the table by the door, dropping my wallet there, too.

  "Andrea? Is that you?" I heard yelled from upstairs.

  "Yup." I headed up there, glancing into what had once been my room, but what now belonged to Clive’s youngest, Johnny, now a teenager. Alan, who uses Chris’s room when he comes back from school, was at the university. He was nineteen now, and made me feel old. I remember when Clive would bring the boys over, and we’d have a movie night, or Chris and I would play Play Station with them.

  I looked toward my mom and Clive’s room, and saw her folding laundry.

  "Hey, you." She smiled, walking over to me and gathering me in a huge hug, nearly cutting off my air supply. But, since I didn’t visit as often as I should have, I never said anything. "What a wonderful surprise. What are you doing here?" I grabbed a pair of socks and folded them together.

  "I just dropped Kendall off, so decided to come by and visit."

  "How she doing? And when are you going to bring her by?" I shrugged sheepishly.

  "I will, I promise."

  "You always say that, young lady." She poked at me with her finger. I grinned, batting her finger away. "How’s work, honey?"

  "It’s good. Oh, speaking of. You’ll never guess who I ran into there." She looked at me expectantly. "Remember my old friend Haley Corregan?"

  "Of course. She was such a pretty girl."

  "Yeah, well you should see her now. She works at the clinic."

  "How long has she been there?"

  "I think a few weeks now."

  ‘Wow. That’s pretty amazing, hon." She folded a pair of Clive’s long johns, and set them on a growing pile of clothing. "Is she married or anything? Have a family?" I stopped, thinking. My brows drew.

  "I don’t know. I guess I didn’t ask her that."

  "Well, maybe you should." She smiled at me. "I’m glad you’re here, honey." Another bone-crushing hug. "Are you staying for dinner?" I nodded with a grin.

  "I don’t get a home-cooked meal very often, you know."

  "I know. I thought I taught you better than that, Andrea."

  "Yeah, yeah."

  "Come on, you." She put her arm around my shoulders, and we headed downstairs. "It’s just you and me tonight, kid."
I was glad. I didn’t get near enough alone time with my mom anymore.

  * * *

  The lights of my hometown passed by me as I drove, headed back to Rochester. I thought about what my mom had said about Haley, her questions. She was such a mystery to me now. At one time I knew all there was to know about her. What her dreams had been, her hopes, where she planned to go, and what she wanted to do there.

  What about now? Had she achieved all that she had wanted to at this time in her life? She was thirty years old now, would turn thirty-one at the end of the year sometime. Had it really been twelve years since we’d seen each other last?

  Why do I feel like there is something there, something that I need to remember, to think about?

  Clearing my mind of useless thoughts, I noticed a convenience store, and pulled into the parking lot. Once inside, I looked around, feeling the need to surprise Erin tonight. I saw a stand filled with rose bouquets, and grabbed one. They weren’t the best looking flowers you’d ever seen, but on such short notice, it would do.

  Bouquet and card in hand, I headed to the counter to pay.

  Erin and I had actually been doing pretty good, lately. I still wasn’t sure why we were still together. She was ready to settle down, wanted children, a dog, the whole nine yards. Where there was nothing wrong with this picture, it just wasn’t in the cards for me. I knew that, and accepted that. I just didn’t have it to give, no matter how much I may want to with Erin.

  I sighed, a sadness filing me, for not the first time. I wasn’t being fair to Erin, but then again, we’d talked about this so many times, and she knew where I was coming from. I had given her the out so many times, telling her to go out and find someone who was where she was, and who was interested in joint savings.

  She said she’d wait.

  I smiled as I crossed the city limits of Rochester, suddenly really excited to see her. I felt the need to hold her in my arms, and just bask in the warmth of being loved. Yes, I did love Erin. How could I be with her for three years, and not?

  The turnoff to her house was coming up. I followed the road, glancing over at the things I’d bought for her, hoping she’d like them. She’s complained before that I don’t give her surprises, so, here I am.

  I pulled up to her house, my headlights reflecting off the garage door of the house. I saw a light on in her bedroom upstairs, so knew she was up. I cut the engine, and grabbed the card, digging a pen out of my coin tray. I clicked the clicker on the end of the pen as I thought of what to write.

  An evil grin spread across my lips as I began to write. I stuck the card in the envelope, licked it shut, and headed out, digging the key to Erin’s house out of my key ring, and quietly unlocked the front door. I wanted to try and surprise her, and hoped I wouldn’t scare the crap out of her in the process.

  I closed the front door behind me, listening to try and figure out where Erin was, and what she was doing. I could hear the television in her bedroom, and could almost see her there, sitting up in bed, leaning against the headboard, reading glasses on, and a book in her hands. The TV would be unwatched, turned on merely for noise in the background.

  I made my way up the stairs, gifts in hand. Stopping in the hallway, I peeked around the open bedroom door. Yup, she was so predictable. I could even see the book title from where I stood. I hadn’t realized she read Danielle Steele, but each to her own.

  If I wanted to I could probably just walk right over to the bed. When Erin read, she was gone from this world. I decided instead to take the Rambo approach. I jumped in the doorway with a loud cry, and lunged at the bed. I grinned at Erin’s scream as I landed on top of her.

  "Goddamn it, Andi! You sacred the living shit out of me!" She began to beat on my butt as I laughed.

  "Well, good. I wouldn’t want you to have any dead shit in there."

  "Yeah, funny. Why’d you do that?" I pushed myself up onto my arms and looked into her face. I shrugged.

  "I wanted to surprise you."

  "Well, you certainly did that." She grinned, bringing her hands up, running her fingers through my hair.

  "Here." I showed her the flowers, and handed her the card. "Surprise."

  "Oh, Andi." Erin’s face fell, her large brown eyes turning into the epitome of the puppy dog look. That always made me melt. She quickly ripped into the card, chuckling at the picture on the front, and then opening it to read what I had written. She looked at me over the top of it, an eyebrow raised. "You want to do that, huh?" She lowered the card, leaning forward so she was mere inches from me. "Thank you, baby. And I agree." She placed her hands on either side of my face, and leaned in. "I say we try that. What about you?" My eyes wandered down Erin’s face, resting on her lips.

  "I’m game."

  * * *

  I slammed my Jeep’s door closed, tugging the strap of my bag higher onto my shoulder. I had just left the Clinic, and was now headed into the dojang that I had belonged to for nearly a decade. Sabum Nim Kyung had decided to retire, and so I had left. This dojang was much closer to my house, anyway. It would have been crazy to drive two towns over for practice every Saturday. And, it was only about fifteen minutes away from Mayo.

  It was Wednesday night, and my Sabum Nim now had asked me to take over his class as he was at a championship. I taught the Saturday morning class, but figured tonight would be fun. I needed a break in my week. We had another serious case checked into the hospital yesterday afternoon. A young woman, reminding me a lot of Hannah Blackwell. Unfortunately, for some reason, we were finding that women who spent their younger years in a climate like ours, cold and harsh, were more susceptible to MS. It was a startling find, and certainly didn’t hold much hope for our people here.

  Hannah Blackwell was twenty-seven, younger than me, and got worse day by day. She had been diagnosed at age twenty-two, and had done well for about three to four years, then it had hit like an explosion. She could no longer walk now, and most days some part of her body was paralyzed all together.

  Since I had begun to visit her on a regular basis, I was becoming more aware of what an actual patient went through, and not just a textbook or test tube. It was making my work that much more important to me, seeing what effect it had on real people who suffered daily.

  I unlocked the door to the building, flipping on lights as I went. I always tried to get to class anywhere from an hour to a half hour before the students arrived.

  Dropping my bag on the desk in the office, I dug out my dobok and ti, headed to the bathroom to change, though at first I just wore the pants and a tank. I preferred to do my warm-ups as comfortable as possible. Back in the office, I closed my eyes, raising my arms up above my head, breathing in deep, feeling my body come to order, my focus shining in on itself as I closed the outside world out.

  Slowly I made my way to my knees, raising my face to the ceiling, taking slow, healthy deep breaths, filling my lungs, then slowly emptying them. Over and over I did this, finally getting deeper into the meditation as I sat down fully. I could feel every muscle in my body ready itself, every sense becoming sharper and sharper until they could cut like a knife.

  I had kept up with my yoga all these years, too. Sometimes that was the only thing that would relax me after an eighteen hour day in the lab, bent over a microscope or slides all day. In fact, I still had more work to do once I got home. I had a laptop that was connected to our computers at work, and helped me keep an eye on levels and results.

  I blew out one last breath, my eyes slowly opening. It was always so strange after I finished; I was always so disoriented and almost confused. I looked around, seeing the office furniture, the ancient computer that Sabum Nim Sasung used to keep track of his students and payment, and of course, a giant poster of our fearless leader when we was younger, looking remarkably like Bruce Lee.

  With one final breath, I stood, and headed out to the main part of the studio. Now for my warm-up. I headed to the far wall where a bar was mounted, and began to stretch. I smiled as I remembered one
time I had come to class without stretching, just coming from an early morning meeting at work, and didn’t have time. I figured I’d be fine. What was one time?

  I couldn’t walk for a week.

  Did I ever learn a valuable lesson. Stretching my legs as far as they could go. Slowly going down into the splits, my hands resting neatly on my thighs, I bounced a couple times, then brought myself back up, startled by the feel of fingers on my shoulder.

  My immediate response and instinct was to swing. I did, and to my surprise, my strike was stopped and countered. I turned, even more surprised to see Haley standing there, a smug look on her face. My eyes traveled down to see she wore a dobok, a black belt holding it together.

  "Nice block."

  "Thanks. Nice try." I smiled.

  "When are you going to learn not to sneak up on a warrior?" She cocked her head to the side.

  "Twelve years?"

  "What are you doing here?" I continued to stretch, and Haley began to join me.

  "I’m here for class. I come every Wednesday night. What are you doing here?"

  "I’m playing teacher tonight."

  "Ah, so you’re who Sabum Nim got, huh?" I nodded. "I thought you went to a dojang in Winston?"

  "I did, for many years. Sabum Nim retired, and I was here in Rochester, so this seemed the practical thing to do. I notice you’ve been at this for some time." I had seen the three gold bars on her ti. She nodded, smiling proudly.

  "Yup. Someone got me hooked when I was still in high school." I grinned.

  "Imagine that."

  "When I found out there was a dojang not far from campus in L.A., I started up." I stopped stretching, and turned to her, touched.

  "That’s wonderful, Haley. I’m so glad you stuck with it. And just maybe someday you’ll be as good as I am." She looked at me, incredulous. I grinned at her, evil and sly.

  "You want a piece of me, Littman?"

  "You’re on, Corregan."

  Let the sparring begin!

  We moved out to the middle of the mats, both keeping a wary eye on the other, waiting for her to make the next move. I sensed the punch coming before I saw it, and turned, effectively blocking with my leg, then trying to knock her down. She saw it coming, and jumped back. We circled each other, neither daring to take their eyes off for even a second. Solid blow to my side, which I reimbursed with a flip. Haley didn’t stay on the mat for long. She jumped up and away.