Youre So Unromantic 3

by Roland Graeme

  “Ah, hi, Jon,” Austin said into the phone, as Nick sprinted out of the bedroom, nude.

  “Hi there, yourself. Where’d Nick go?”

  “Into the other room, where all of his computer equipment is.”

  “You’ve got a nice voice. Austin. You sound sexy. Do you work in the industry?”

  “No. I work in a garage. You know, working on cars and trucks. I’m a mechanic.”

  “Oh, good for you. I’m not very mechanical, myself. What were you and Nick doing when I called? Did I interrupt something.”

  “We were in bed. You didn’t interrupt anything.”

  Jon laughed. “Are you telling me you and Nick were in bed together, and you weren’t doing anything?”

  “We’d just finished, as a matter of fact.”

  “That sounds more like it. Nick’s really sexy, isn’t he?”

  “He sure is. But so are you. I’ve seen one of your videos.”

  “It’s nice of you to say so, but I’m not feeling terribly sexy at the moment. I feel like such a loser.”

  “No, you aren’t,” Austin protested. “Wait, here comes Nick, back. I’ll put him on.”

  Nick had indeed returned to the bedroom, carrying a small notepad. “Jon?” he asked, after taking the phone from Austin. “Have you got enough money for a train ticket?”

  “Money isn’t the problem,” Jon said.

  “There’s a train leaving Penn Station at seven fifteen tomorrow morning. It’ll get you here in just over two hours, around nine thirty. I want you to get on it and come here, and stay with me. I’ll pick you up at the station.”

  “Well, I don’t know.”

  “Don’t argue, Jon. Like I said, either you come here, or I’m coming down there to see you. Either way, I’m going to see you tomorrow morning, at the latest.”

  “It would be nice to see you, Nick, and talk.”

  “That’s all settled, then. Promise me you’ll get on that train and come here, tomorrow morning.”

  “I promise. If you’re sure you don’t mind me putting me up?”

  “I’ve got plenty of room here. You’ll see when you get here. You can stay for as long as you like. We’ll have ourselves a real visit, catch up with each other. It’ll be like the old times in LA.”

  “What about Austin?”

  “What about him? He can’t wait to meet you, he says. You’re one of his idols.”

  “Oh, bullshit.”

  “You think I’m kidding? Let me put him on.” Nick handed the phone to Austin.

  Austin didn’t need to be coached. “I’m really looking forward to meeting you, Mr. D’Eau.”

  “Mr. D’Eau! Don’t be so fucking formal. Call me Jon.”

  “Jon, then. I really want to meet you, Jon.”

  “Do you? You sound really, really nice. Are you as sexy as you sound?”

  “Oh, much sexier,” Austin boasted, brazenly. “You’re going to have to come here and see for yourself.”

  “Damn. I’m getting kind of excited. Put Nick back on.”

  “Do you promise?” Nick demanded, when he had the phone back in his hand.

  “All right already, I promise. I swear to fucking God. I’m going to go home right now, pack a bag, and then head to Penn Station, where I will buy my ticket and hang out until the train leaves. I guess I can get some breakfast there.”

  “Call me as soon as you’re actually on the train, Jon.”

  “All right. I will. I promise, before you ask me to. I solemnly swear. Jesus, but you are a hard ass! But I am looking forward to seeing you, and to meeting this Austin of yours.”

  After a few more exchanges, Nick said goodbye and hung up. Looking a bit dazed, he put the phone down on the nightstand.

  “That was intense,” he said.

  “Yeah. Funny, I think that was what I said right after we had sex.”

  “I’m thirsty,” Nick announced. “Do you want anything?”

  “Could you spare one of those little bottles of water you have in the fridge?”

  “Of course. No, you stay here,” Nick said, when Austin started to get out of bed. “I’ll get it.”

  He went to the kitchen, nude, and returned shortly, carrying the bottle of water, which he handed to Austin, and a beverage on ice in a glass, which he sipped as he got back into the bed.

  “Thanks, Nick. What’s that you’re drinking?”

  “Lemonade with a slug of vodka, on the rocks. Jon’s the one with the history of drinking and substance abuse problems, not me, but I have to admit that phone call rattled me. Maybe a good stiff drink will help calm me down, a little.”

  They sat up in bed, pushing the pillows up against the headboard to support their backs, and Nick pulled the covers back up over their lower bodies.

  “Comfy?” he asked.

  “Very.”

  “I can tell you’re dying to ask me some questions about what just happened, Austin, so you might as well go right ahead and ask.”

  “Well, I know who Jon D’Eau is, of course. I’ve seen one of the videos you made with him.”

  “I guess that simplifies matters. Which one?”

  “Muscle Fever.”

  “Oh, yeah. Not bad, if I do say so myself.”

  “It was nice of you, to be willing to drop everything and run down to New York, to be there for your buddy.”

  “Jon wouldn’t have called me like that unless he was desperate. I’m just glad he did call me. That he felt he could turn to me, you know?”

  “How long has it been since the last time you heard from him?”

  “I’m not sure. Over a year. I remember talking to him on the phone. He was still out in California at the time, thinking about maybe moving to Manhattan. He had a lover at the time, of course, and seemed to be doing okay.”

  “Speaking of lovers. Were you and Jon D’Eau ever lovers?”

  “Um, hardly. Not in the sense I think you mean. We had sex, sure, off the set as well as on it. I guess we were fuck buddies. Back in those days, Jon had the bad habit of thinking he was in love with every guy he tricked with. He went through a lot of drama and heartbreak, as a result. But he and I were never really more than just friends. Friends with benefits, sure, but never a couple.”

  “He sounded kind of bent out of shape on the phone. Do you think he’ll come?”

  “I hope so. Getting away from the city, even for only a few days, it would probably be the best thing for him. And I would like you to meet him, Austin. I’m sure you’ll like him.”

  Austin hesitated. “You told him I was your boyfriend.”

  “Did I? I don’t remember. I guess that just sort of slipped out. Maybe that was my way of keeping things simple on the phone. It wasn’t the time to get into any lengthy explanations about what’s been going on in my own life.”

  “Am I your boyfriend, Nick?” Austin pressed.

  “I guess you are, for all practical purposes. Depends on how you define the word. Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

  “Yes. More than anything.”

  “Well, that’s settled then.”

  “You are so totally unromantic.”

  “Oh yeah? Come here and give me a kiss. I’ll show you how romantic I can be, with the right guy.”

  Austin called Nick, that afternoon, from work. “Did Jon get in okay?” he asked.

  “Yes, thank God. He was up all night, so I put him to bed. Listen, come on over here for dinner, tonight. I’ve got an early evening appointment with a client, here at the house, for a website design.”

  Austin noticed that Nick felt obliged to specify that the “client” was not a john.

  “But once I get rid of him, you’ll have a chance to meet Jon, and then the three of us can spend some time together.”

  That evening, when Austin drove to Nick’s place, he saw a strange car in the driveway. When he entered the house through the unlocked front door, he saw that Nick was conferring with his customer in his home office. Nick excused himself and came over
to greet Austin.

  “This is running a little longer than I’d expected,” he said, in a low voice. “I don’t know how much longer it’ll be. You go through and say hello to Jon, keep him company.”

  “Sure.” Austin made his way to the kitchen, where he could smell something cooking even before he pushed open the door, and saw Jon D’Eau setting the table.

  “Hello! You must be Austin,” the porn star said, brightly.

  “Yeah.”

  “Nice to meet you, at last.” Instead of shaking hands, Jon welcomed Austin by interrupting his task to give Austin a quick hug, and a prolonged kiss, full on the lips. “Is Nick still tied up with that customer of his?” Jon asked, matter-of-factly, after he’d released Austin and went back to setting out plates and silverware.

  “Yes.”

  “I guess it’s an important contract, lots of money involved. I’m getting dinner started, in the meantime. Don’t worry, I’m a decent cook. You won’t have to force it down, just to be polite.”

  During this exchange, Austin had a chance to check out the famous, or rather the notorious, Jon D’Eau in the flesh. He was puttering about the kitchen barefoot, in a pair of jeans and a pale green T-shirt, both well-worn and faded from repeated washings. He was, naturally, older than he’d been in the one video Austin had seen him in, but he was still in great physical shape, and Austin thought he looked hot. Jon could use a haircut, and he was disheveled at the moment. There was an odd combination of restlessness and fatigue about his facial expression, and the way he moved about the room.

  “All right,” Jon proclaimed, after checking the pots simmering on top of the stove. “We’re making progress. Sit down, Austin. I’ve got coffee on. We can talk while we’re waiting for Nick to finish up, out front.”

  They drank coffee and made small talk, until, during a pause in the conversation, Jon looked curiously at Austin across the table while he stirred sugar into his cup.

  “So Nick tells me you want to work for him,” Jon finally said, setting the spoon aside and raising the cup to his lips.

  “I keep trying to talk him into it, but he keeps sort of putting me off.”

  Jon nodded. “It’s a big step, especially for a guy your age. And once you take it, it’s hard to go back. Can’t put the genie back in the bottle, as they say. You need to keep that in mind.”

  “That’s what Nick says.”

  “If you do decide to go through with it, make damn sure you take Nick’s advice, about anything and everything he suggests to you. And model yourself on him, not on guys like me. Nick’s smart. He’ll steer you in the right direction, and look out for you. He’s not stupid, like me.”

  “Why do you say that, Jon? I mean, I know Nick is a smart guy, but why do you put yourself down like that?”

  “Because I am stupid,” Jon said, bluntly. “I’m a loser. I’m not like Nick. When I was your age, I never thought ahead, never thought about the future. I thought I’d be twenty-five forever and nothing would ever change, that I’d never have to worry about anything, because there’d always be guys who would want me.”

  “But you’re a very attractive guy.”

  “Thanks, kid, it’s nice of you to say so, but take a really good look at me. I’m older than Nick. I’ll soon be forty-two and I don’t have any job skills to speak of. All I know how to do is act in porn and hustle. How long do you think I can keep that up? And it wasn’t until a little while ago that I even managed to start saving up any of the money I make. I used to spend it as soon as I got it, mostly on drugs. Thank God I’m clean now. I just hope I can stay that way. That’s why I called Nick. I could feel myself starting to slip. I was scared.”

  “I don’t know what to say,” Austin admitted.

  “You don’t have to say anything. Just promise yourself you won’t end up like me.”

  They heard a car pulling out of the driveway, and a moment later, Nick joined them in the kitchen. He went behind Austin’s chair and bent down to put his arm around Austin and gave him a kiss.

  “There,” Nick said, with satisfaction. “I wanted to do that when you first came in the door. I’m sorry that dragged on so long, but it was worth it.”

  “Signed the big deal, did you?” Jon asked.

  “Yes. A few more like that, and I’ll be able to stop doing the porn. Personally, I mean, in the sense of me going in front of the camera.”

  “Which would be a shame,” Jon said. “He still looks incredibly hot, doesn’t he, Austin?”

  “I think so,” Austin agreed, “but then, I may be prejudiced.”

  “Anyway, I like directing and editing, and marketing the actual product, more than performing,” Nick said.

  Over dinner, Jon, at Nick’s encouragement, regaled them with stories of his recent experiences, in California and in New York City.

  “Okay, so I’m out in LA making a film,” Jon said. “And this pretty little twink who was my fuck interest in one scene told me he didn’t know anybody in town, so I asked him if he’d like to go grab a burger with me afterward, since he didn’t know the city very well. Not that I had any intention of fucking him off camera, you understand. I was just trying to be friendly. What a mistake! Not only did he talk about absolutely nothing all during dinner except himself, making sure I understood he was straight and only doing this for the money. Yeah, right, as though I hadn’t heard that one before! He actually got on his cell phone while we were eating, which in fact was okay by me at that point, because it meant I didn’t have to listen to his monologue about much he loved himself. Then I received a notification on my phone that someone had twittered about me. It turned out that this fucking dork whom I had offered to eat with because I felt sorry for him, was telling all his friends that he was having dinner with Jon D’Eau. He was implying that we were best friends and I’d taken him under my wing and was going to do everything in my power to advance his career because I was head over heels in love with him. The presumptuous little bitch! That was the end of that evening, as far as I was concerned.”

  Austin found Jon’s banter highly entertaining, but eventually he did glance at his watch.

  “Well,” Austin said, a little awkwardly. “Thanks for dinner. I guess I’d better be getting home.”

  Nick looked at him. He seemed surprised. “Don’t you want to spend the night here, Austin?”

  “Sure I do, but I thought it might be a little uncomfortable, since you already have one guest.”

  “If you’re worried about the sleeping arrangements, don’t be. Jon won’t be sleeping with me. I’m putting him up in the big bed, in the studio. He should be comfortable there.”

  “Oh. I hadn’t thought of that, for some reason. Somehow, I thought you only used that bed for sex, during your video shoots.”

  “It is, most of the time. That’s why, now that I think of it, it seems quite appropriate for Jon to use it while he’s here. He ought to feel right at home.”

  Jon looked at Austin, and grinned. “Yeah, I’m sure I will. Except that I’m not used to occupying a bed all by myself. I usually have at least one other guy in there with me!”

  Chapter Twenty

  John Doe

  One of the first things Jon wanted to do once he’d settled in was see the video footage Nick and George had shot during the weekend at Steve’s place. Jon was especially interested in the debut performances of Austin, or Nick’s protégé, as he referred to him.

  The three men seated themselves on the couch in front of the large flat-screen TV in the living room. Nick, of course, had this hooked up to his computer system, so he could view things on it.

  First, Nick proudly showed them the brief introductory descriptions he’d come up for the new videos.

  Check out the new monthly free video below! Just log in, and it’s yours to see. No subscription required.

  Henri Selmer is a super sexy, super versatile young man from Louisiana whom I first met shortly before the shoot. Sometimes you’d be just plain crazy to pass up on a g
ood opportunity, and I think you’ll agree that this bayou boy is a natural. Expect to see much more of him in the near future, in both the top and bottom roles, in which he is equally adept.

  A word about the erotic interplay between Ramrod and Henri. We didn’t have to direct it—it just came naturally. This was Henri’s very first experience in porn, but he and Ramrod clicked right away, and it turned out to be a kickass shoot, especially when some of the other guys decided to join in!

  “Bayou boy, huh?” Jon teased.

  Austin groaned. He was beginning to have doubts about his fictional persona.

  “Never mind,” Jon added. “It could’ve been worse. At least he didn’t say you used to wrestle alligators back home in the swamp.”

  “Oh, shut up,” Nick protested, with a laugh. “Don’t make me pull out some of your old interviews, published in gay magazines. I seem to recall some of the things you said about yourself were pretty imaginative. As they say, ‘every word was a lie, including and and the’.”

  “Just roll the film, Mr. De Mille.”

  Seeing himself having sex for the first time was a lot like hearing one’s recorded voice for the first time. It was not quite what Austin had expected. He thought he looked gauche and that his movements were jerky. Worse, the look on his face when he got ready to come made him resemble a victim of torture rather than a serene Adonis in the throes of ecstasy.

  “Oh my God,” he lamented. “I’m terrible. I’m awful.”

  “It’s hot,” Jon assured him.

  “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it, Austin,” Nick insisted. “You did fine. You look good.”

  “I have that mole on my ass cheek,” Austin complained. “I’d forgotten about that.”

  “Yeah, it’s very cute. Quite kissable,” Nick said.

  “It looks huge.”

  “It’s not the only thing that looks huge,” Jon quipped, as he admired the close-up of Ramrod’s cock penetrating Austin’s butt, which now filled the screen. “The camera exaggerates everything.”