by Erica Penrod
There was one way to stop herself from thinking about a handsome man, and it was costly … but she was desperate. She closed her eyes and felt the tear in her heart, the one that was barely stitched together by the threads of time. The agonizing memory shattered into shards of glass and ripped through her heart anytime she allowed Brian back into her mind. The sharp pain pierced through her chest and tears sprang to her eyes.
Yes, that would do the trick. She clutched her hands at her chest. The throbbing would ebb into a burning sting and then finally subside into an ache that could last for weeks. Maybe by the time she could think beyond the agony of Brian, her boss would simply be … her boss.
* * *
This was about the stupidest idea Lucas had in a long time, but there wasn’t any sense in Earl driving Lexi into town when he was already headed there. He repeated this over and over as the warm air drifted through the cab, carrying her scent and filling his head.
The Chevy was in four-wheel drive and the bed of the truck was loaded with sandbags to weigh it down. The back end tended to fishtail if it wasn’t heavy enough to provide traction in the snow. They moved down the snow-packed roads at a slow pace, giving Lexi plenty of time to take in the scenery. She watched out the window, and for several miles, she didn’t say anything.
He stole a glimpse of her from time to time, admiring her attire. She had on tight cream-colored pants, tucked into camel-brown knee-high boots with fur trim and a white sweater with a scarf wrapped around her neck. A leather coat slightly darker than her boots was the last layer. If this is what women wore to the grocery store, he might be tempted to do his own shopping.
“I can’t believe how beautiful this is,” she said, breaking the silence. “The trees look like they’re hand-painted.”
“Up around this bend—” He pointed out the windshield. “You should be able to see fragments of the river that aren’t covered in ice.”
Lexi stretched her neck to see.
“In January, it will be completely covered.”
They took the curve and the river became visible. Lexi rubbed her hands up and down her arms. “That makes me cold just looking at it.”
Lucas stole another peek at her and he was anything but cold. Her eyes were more green than blue in the daylight and her hair appeared streaked by the sun. Rebellious blonde tresses escaped her ponytail and fell down the sides of her face.
His pulse took off like a horse out of the gate. This isn’t going well.
“So what made you decide to start High Country?” Lexi asked. “I’ve wondered about that ever since I read your bio online. ‘Millionaire builds home for boys.’” She cocked her head and tiny lines appeared along her forehead as she waited for his response.
This was about the hundredth time he’d been asked that question, but he was never sure how to respond. High Country Ranch was personal to him for so many reasons and he didn’t like sharing his private thoughts with just anyone.
“It’s a long story,” he said, as they reached the bottom of the canyon and merged into the traffic. “But I can give you the Cliff notes version.”
“I’ll take it.” Her hand dove into her purse and forged around. She pulled out a tube of lip balm like a magician pulling a rabbit out a hat. “Sorry, my lips are so dry.” She twisted off the cap.
Lucas stared straight ahead, not wanting to watch her apply anything to her lips. “My Dad died when I was a teenager and we’d never really been that close …” He reached out, touched the climate dial on the dash, then paused. “Are you warm enough?” he asked, and when Lexi nodded he turned down the heat. “Good, I’m getting hot.”
“It’s probably just because I’m in here,” Lexi said. “I have that sort of effect on men.”
Lucas jerked his head in her direction, and when he saw the big smile across her face, stretching into the depths of her eyes, he grinned. She laughed and waved her hand in the air.
“Sorry, just a joke.” She shifted in her seat and her face flushed. “Go on with your story.”
“Okay,” he said, thinking there was nothing funny about the effect she had on him. He cleared his throat and pushed the thought aside. “Anyway. I spent a lot of time being angry and acting like the spoiled rich kid everyone expected. I didn’t like being that way, but it was easier. When I got to college, it felt like I was a different person. No one knew who I was or how much money my family had.”
“So you grew up with money?”
“Yeah, and in a small town, that’s like walking around with a dollar sign tattooed to your forehead.”
“Kind of a Harry Potter thing?” she said, and he heard the smile in her voice.
“Yeah, but at least he was a wizard and all I could do was buy friends.”
“I’ll bet that can get expensive.”
“Yeah, it can.” He slowed the truck almost to a crawl as the car ahead of them put on the brakes. “I did well at college, but every time I came back to see my mom, I felt like I’d never left. That’s why I started my business in Texas.”
“Then why did you choose Utah as High Country’s location, if you didn’t like it here?”
He drew out a long breath. “I came back a couple years ago. My mom got remarried and that’s a whole other story, but my stepsister is a lot of the reason I came home.”
“Why is that?” Lexi asked.
“I thought I was in love with her …” He waited for his words to sink in.
“Wait—” She gaped at him. “What did you say?”
He laughed, like he always did when he told the story about Vivien. “Her name is Vivien and we grew up in the same town. I’d always been fascinated by her; she’s not like most women.” He paused to see if he still had her attention. When he saw her eyes barely blinking at him, he continued. “I wanted to make things different back home in Utah, for me and my mom, plus I wanted to get to know Vivien, but I never planned on her as a sister. I hired her to train my cutting horse and I got to know her, but she fell in love with my uncle and—”
“Your uncle?” Lexi asked. This time her voice was full of bewilderment.
“Crazy, right?” he said. “He’s not much older than I am. But anyway, they fell in love and I got Viv as a best friend.”
“And you’re okay with that? I thought you said you were in love with her.”
Lucas shook his head and chuckled. “I do love her, but not in that way anymore. I wish I could say I figured everything out overnight, but a lot happened in between to get me to the point I’m at today. I hurt my family along the way, but with the help of Viv and Boone—he’s my uncle—I was finally able to put the past behind me and I wanted to be closer to them. “
Lexi didn’t say anything.
“I guess I still didn’t answer your first question.”
She shook her head.
“I was an angry kid and I wished someone could’ve helped me understand what I was going through.”
“So that’s why you wanted to open a boys’ home?”
“Yes. Not that what I went through compares to what these kids are going through. I knew my parents loved me, but they didn’t always know how to handle my behavior. When my dad was alive I managed okay, but after he died, I wasn’t, and I pulled away from my mom.”
He paused as an image of his parents’ faces flashed in his mind. His words caught on the branch of remorse that liked to jab him every now and then. He felt the emotion, and then he continued.
“I had so much guilt about my dad’s death, because I didn’t get a chance to fix things between us and I didn’t know how to handle all those emotions. It took me a long time to figure out.” The pain of the past tempted him to linger in the negative abyss, but he replaced the feeling with something positive.
“One of my clients did some investing for owned a boys’ home in Texas. It was a working cattle ranch and he invited me out. I saw firsthand how hard work and taking care of the livestock taught the kids about respect, honesty, and gave them a sense of wort
h. Right then and there I decided that was what I wanted to do with my life. I’ve always loved being around kids.”
“I’m sure there was a lot of red tape to get a place like High Country up and going,” Lexi said.
“Yeah, but lucky for me I hired the same attorney and people who set up my client’s place in Texas. The process took about nine months, but we were able to cut through the tape much quicker that way.”
“Yeah, but I’m sure the legal stuff was half the problem. How did you know where to begin with building a credible program, since you didn’t go to school for this?”
He laughed. “That’s where my good looks and charm come in.” Lucas waited for her reaction. When she cocked one of her perfectly shaped brows at him, he continued, “Well, maybe not my good looks, but my money came in handy. I hired the best people I could find and then I modeled my program after the one in Texas, but on a smaller scale.”
“Well,” she said, as the truck came to the intersection at the mouth of the canyon and stopped at the red light, “you sound like a wizard to me, the way you make your money work magic for you.”
She smiled, and he missed the light changing to green.
“Lucas.” Lexi pointed to the light. “You can go.”
He pressed on the gas pedal as he thought about the woman sitting next to him. If only he were a wizard and could cast a spell on his heart, turning his feelings for her into something platonic. Maybe then he’d be able to enjoy her cooking.
Chapter 6
Christmas had come to town in full force that first week of December. Lights were hung from lamppost to lamppost down the streets. Wreaths hung on doors, and the store windows displayed whimsical holiday scenes painted with cartoon depictions of Santa, snowmen, and anything else holly, jolly, or bright.
The season was infectious and Lexi bounced with excitement as she walked into the grocery store and was greeted by the aroma of cinnamon and spice. Grabbing a cart, she tossed her purse into the child’s seat and began to hum along with the music playing over the speakers. Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” had her drifting down the aisle like a snowflake in the crisp winter sky.
Unfamiliar to the store, she decided to start on one side and work her way through. She had a list for specific ingredients and spices, but with the festive sights and sounds, her mind reeled with family favorite recipes she’d enjoyed since she was a child. Her grandmother taught her how to make homemade Christmas candy, and just the memory had her mouth watering. Lexi jotted down a few more items on her list.
Meandering through the store, she filled her cart to the brim. There were a couple personal items she would purchase with her own cash and not the card Lucas had given her. Grateful that none of the boys had any allergies to foods, she wasn’t limited in what she could serve. That made things easier for her.
Once she got to the checkout line, she texted Lucas to let him know she was ready and gasped when she realized she’d been shopping for an hour and a half. Thirty seconds later, she caught a glimpse of a black cowboy hat headed her way.
She waved at Lucas, and her cheeks blushed when he saw the number of bags filling her basket. He just shook his head and smiled.
“How’d you get here so fast?” She hefted her purse over her shoulder. “I just barely texted you.”
Lucas pushed the heavy cart through the parking lot. “I’ve been here for a little bit.” He stopped outside of the truck, pulled the keys out of his pocket, and unlocked the door.
“I’m sorry.” She tucked a piece of loose hair behind her ear. “I didn’t realize it was this late.” She began unloading the cart and handed him a bag, which he placed in the back seat.
“That’s all right. My errand took less time than I thought.” He took the sack of white and dark melting chocolate. She didn’t miss the twinkle in his eye. “Did you get everything you needed?”
“Yes,” she said, and heaved over a gallon bottle of white corn syrup. “Healthy stuff, as you can see.”
Lucas nodded. Amusement covered his face as he set the plastic jug on the floor.
“I thought I would make some Christmas candy. I’m assuming you have a party, right?”
“We do, but not until closer to Christmas.”
“Well, I was thinking … and obviously you’re the boss, but I thought maybe one day a week, I could teach one or two of the boys how to make the candy.”
“I’ll talk to Atiu and Earl, but I think that could be arranged. I think that would be good for the boys. This is the first Christmas we’ve had at High Country, and to be honest, I haven’t exactly figured out how everything will work.”
“What do you mean by everything?” Lexi asked.
“There’s just a lot to think about. Of course, employees need time off and a few of the boys will be with their families, but some won’t and I want to make the experience as nice as possible for them.”
“Not all of the boys get to see their families on Christmas?” Lexi handed Lucas the last bag of fresh produce, their hands brushing.
“No,” he said, and she wondered if he let his hand linger next to hers longer than necessary or if she just imagined it. “Our program has five levels, and when a boy first arrives, he is on level one and that is where there is constant supervision. And by that I mean they aren’t allowed to be five feet away from a staff member until we know they aren’t going to try to hurt themselves.”
Lucas gave her a brief overview of the program when they’d worked on a menu, but she was so busy thinking about her job, she hadn’t asked many questions about the details.
“On levels one and two, they’re allowed to have their families come once a week,” Lucas added.
“And if they’re on the higher levels, they get to go home?” she asked.
“Yes, but not for more than two weeks.” Lucas shut the door and took the cart, pushing it across the row to the other carts haphazardly corralled in the middle of the parking lot.
Lexi folded her arms across her body and sniffled as the cold permeated through her layers.
The next thing she knew, Lucas was holding the passenger door open for her. “Hop in,” he said. “Let’s get you out of the cold. I can fill you in on the rest on the way home.”
“Thanks.” She squeezed by him.
The car parked next to them left a small proximity for the open door, which Lucas held on to. Lexi assumed he was protecting his and the other vehicle from a souvenir ding. With her jacket and his coat, they were body to body as he offered his free hand for support as she hoisted herself up.
In the moment, she felt the same surge of energy she felt the night she met him. Once she was in the leather seat, she glanced over to find his blue eyes watching her. Lexi remembered the last time someone looked at her that intensely, and pain shot through her heart, just like she’d hoped. She averted her eyes and noticed he still held her hand, which she quickly snatched away.
When Lexi dared to look up again, the blizzard in his blue eyes made her feel lost and bewildered. He didn’t say anything, drew his lips into a muddled smile, and closed the door. Her heart immediately filled with regret, because she was more than likely reading more into his chivalry than was there and inadvertently came across as rude and ungrateful for his hospitality. Maybe she’d left her mind in the trunk of the car the night she met Lucas, because that was the most logical reason for her schoolgirl imagination.
When the driver’s side door opened and Lucas slid into his seat, Lexi gauged his reaction. Pulling on his seat belt, he glanced over at her with clear eyes. Whatever she thought she’d seen was gone.
The atmosphere thawed around her as he started the ignition, and she began to wonder if there had been anything between them at all, or if her loss of sanity was simply an aftershock from the catastrophic event of Heartquake Brian.
* * *
“My family will be coming for Christmas Eve,” Lucas answered Lexi as they drove back up the canyon.
He was glad their casual convers
ation picked back up, taking his mind off his speeding heart. When Lexi had taken his hand as he helped her into the truck, the inside of his body felt like a snow-packed mountain and his heart had leapt from the top, trying to traverse through the difficult terrain. He wasn’t sure if his heart would reach the bottom safely or crash. “But I’m sure you’ll get to meet them before then. They like to come up as often as they can,” he added. Especially now that Viv knew about Lexi—she’d make the drive just to check out the woman he’d verbally stumbled over.
The minutes passed and his fingers relaxed their grip on the steering wheel. He exhaled slowly, noticing that his pulse glided through him like his internal topography had melted into something that resembled a bunny hill. Once again, he had little hope of not navigating his emotions into a dead-end road. Having a fling wasn’t an option and he’d proven time and again he wasn’t long-term material. He had to rein in his attraction.
“I’d like to meet them,” Lexi said. “And … you’re sure it’s okay for me to take a few days off for Christmas … since I just started.” She looked over at him and he noticed she’d reapplied her lip gloss.
“That’s fine.” He focused back on the road ahead. “I’ve planned on you being gone and my mom will be here.”
“Okay,” she said. “My parents got me a flight home so there will be less travel time.”
“Really,” he said, “take the full week.”
“Four days will be plenty.”
Lucas thought he heard a silent implication of something other than a blissful holiday family reunion.
“Not that I don’t love my family …” She read his mind. “It’s just that sometimes they can be a bit much.”
“How’s that?” He wondered if the question was too personal.
“My mom has never really gotten over me wanting to be a chef, and then instead of taking a position at a prestigious restaurant, I … I—” she stammered.
