by Erica Penrod
“You came to work for me,” he finished for her.
She shook her head. “It’s … not only that.”
When she didn’t say anything else, he wondered what else she was hinting at.
“Let’s just say my personal life has also been somewhat of a disappointment to her as well,” she said as she sunk a little deeper into the chair. She stared out the window and wrapped her arms around her middle.
Lucas knew she wouldn’t elaborate, at least not right now. But her words hung stagnant in the air, as if her mother’s disappointment was a hitchhiker they’d picked up on the side of the road.
“I was telling you earlier about the program and about the level system, but I didn’t mention anything about the staff meeting once a week, where we talk about the boys’ progress and determine what level they should be on.”
Lexi shifted so that she now focused on him, her attention urging him to continue.
“I would like to include you in on those meetings.”
“Me?” she asked. “Why? I’m just the chef.”
“Because you’ll be in the kitchen, where the boys tend to migrate to, and there’s something about food that makes them comfortable and you might notice something that we haven’t. They may share things with you that we may be unaware of.”
“Can I ask why these boys are here? I mean, what did they do, or did something happen to them?”
They turned off the main road and headed towards High Country. “You can ask, because you are a staff member,” Lucas said. “And I’ll need another blood sample and have you sign a privacy disclosure.” He smiled when furrowed rows appeared across her forehead.
“But I already had my lab work done—”
“I take it you’re not fond of needles?”
“No.” The pallor of her skin matched the white sweater she wore.
“Well, I don’t need the blood sample, but I do need your signature.” He couldn’t hold back his amusement.
Lexi glared at him and then shook her head as she laughed. The lines across her skin disappeared just as quickly as they’d appeared.
“Anyway, sorry, I was just teasing you.”
“I’ll forgive you once my heart stops pounding.” She put a hand on her chest.
The professional part of him knew he shouldn’t like the way her cheeks now flushed with color, but the man in him wanted to do everything and anything he could to make her light up again.
“The boys have been in some sort of trouble with the law, and after repeat offenses, they are sent to me,” he said, letting the judicious side of him take the wheel.
“Like what kind of offenses?” she asked with a trace of trepidation.
“Usually theft, vandalism, or some minor drug violations.”
Lexi looked out the front windshield and bit her lip as if she were in contemplation. “So this is a drug rehab?” she asked, turning back to him.
“No,” he said. “But we do drug screen them.” They pulled in the drive and Lucas tapped the button to open the garage. “We take boys who are headed that way and try to turn things around. Usually, if you can reach them before they become an addict, you most often find some underlying reason for their behavior.”
Lucas pressed on the gas and eased into the garage. “Our job is to help the kid understand where those emotions are coming from and recognize that those same emotions are the driving force behind the self-destructive actions.”
“What if he doesn’t want to change?” Lexi collected her purse from the floor and placed the bag in her lap.
“That hasn’t happened yet.” Lucas put the gearshift in park. “But we’ve not been operating that long either.” He turned off the ignition and tapped the button again for the garage to close. “I made sure to hire the best men I could find. Earl served in Vietnam and spent a lot of years struggling with PTSD until he found an equine therapy program. He’d never been around horses, but he said he was willing to try anything at that point, and the therapy changed his life. He began as a volunteer at the same place and eventually was hired on. He’s got years of experience on both sides.”
“How’d you get him to come work for you?” Lexi asked.
“That was the easy part.” He grinned. “I told him we were located about a half hour away from the girl that had him wrapped around her little finger.”
Lexi cocked an eyebrow.
“His son-in-law is a friend of mine and he told me about Earl when he found out I was starting up. I wasn’t opposed to using Earl’s two-year-old granddaughter as bribery.”
Lexi grinned, her full lips parting to reveal her perfectly straight teeth. “I can just imagine what Earl would be like as a grandpa.”
“Yeah. He’s a little rough on the edges, but you’ve never met a better man and he adores his granddaughter. You should ask him about her.”
“I will,” she said, clutching her purse tighter.
Lucas knew it was time to get out of the truck, but he couldn’t make himself. “Atiu.” He nodded. “He’s got a counseling degree from the University of Utah. He used to play football for them.”
“That’s not hard to believe.”
“He likes to tell me he gave up playing for the pros to come work for me, but I know the truth. As much as he loved football, there’s nothing he loves more than making a difference in these kids’ lives.”
“Sounds like you’ve got a great team.” Lexi tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Yeah, I do,” he said. “And now with you here, everything’s perfect.”
Something flickered in her eyes and he could’ve kicked himself. But just like a falling star, the look was gone before he had time to convince himself it had ever been there at all. He assumed she understood his comment was meant to be strictly professional and not personal. At least, that’s what he hoped for, even though nothing could be further from the truth.
Chapter 7
When Lexi and Lucas got back to the house, the boys were finishing up their lunch of chicken salad sandwiches she’d prepared earlier, and he asked them to help unload the truck. A couple minutes later, everything was inside on the counter, just as the part-time counselors arrived for individual sessions.
Lexi hummed to herself as the pot boiled on the stove. The groceries were put away and she’d spent an hour or so rearranging things in the kitchen to her preference.
Stirring the macaroni with one hand, she used the other to add a tablespoon of butter to keep the noodles from sticking to the bottom of the pan. Then she picked up the spatula to rotate the browning Italian sausage on the other burner. Dinner tonight would be homemade macaroni and cheese, hot rolls, and a fresh green salad.
Once the macaroni was tender, she put on her oven mitts and removed the pot from the heat, hustling over to the colander that waited in the sink. Her arms strained beneath the bulk, and she decided maybe she should take advantage of the workout room Lucas had shown her. If she was going to prepare meals for a bunch of growing adolescents, a giant islander, a redneck, and a cowboy, she needed some upper body strength.
As she poured the large pot of steaming water and noodles into the colander, the weight tipped her balance and her foot slipped out from beneath her.
“Ahhhh!” she screamed at herself, trying to regain her balance and not drench herself in boiling water.
Just then Lucas came up from behind her and grabbed her by the arms, giving her the chance to even herself out. His appearance out of nowhere startled her, but the fact that she knew he was the person coming to her rescue when he touched her disturbed her the most. His proximity triggered an unsolicited reaction within her.
“I got you,” his voice whispered into her ear.
A tingling sensation rippled through her body and she tightened her grip on the handles with her cumbersome mitts. “Thanks,” she said as the last of the water sifted through the macaroni. “I’m okay,” she said, even though she knew his hands were still on her as she placed the empty pot in the other side of the sink.
Lexi felt him step back.
“We’re on our way to the barn. If you get a chance, you’re welcome to join us.”
Lexi peeled off the oven mitts, avoiding direct eye contact. “Yeah, I should have some time. This has over an hour to bake anyway.”
“Good,” he said. “And you remembered we don’t need anything for dessert tonight, right?”
“Yeah, you’re having s’mores with the campfire.” She glanced up at him from beneath her lashes, afraid she might slip away from reality if she stared into his deep-set eyes. This had nothing to do with her heart, she reassured herself. She was simply attracted to him, and who wouldn’t be?
“Yeah. That’s where we’ll be holding group therapy for tonight. You’re welcome to join us for that too.”
Lucas walked around and picked up a coat he must’ve slung over the back of the stool when he came to help her. He’d changed his clothes and even though he was supposed to be dressed down, she couldn’t imagine him looking any better. He had on a red flannel button-down shirt tucked into faded jeans, and no amount of time could disguise the expensive brand. He’d changed his boots, but still had on the same black felt hat. At least, she thought it was the same. When he turned around to pick up the jacket, she noticed a pair of leather gloves hanging from his right back pocket.
Don’t stare. Don’t stare. His backside in those jeans made her stomach burn like she’d chugged down a cup of hot chocolate.
He swung back around before Lexi had the chance to look anywhere else. She was caught with her hand in the cookie jar … well, not in the cookie jar per se, but with her hands longing to—never mind!
“I … I …” She stuffed her hands in the front pocket of her apron. “Sooo … I guess you use the leather gloves when you ride.”
Lucas looked at her like she had Italian sausage for brains. Kill me now.
“Was that a question?” he asked with incredulous eyes. She couldn’t tell if there was a smirk hidden beneath his uncertainty of her statement. Maybe she’d overreacted and he didn’t know she’d been staring at him. But then she noticed how something, maybe her humiliation, tugged at the corner of his lips. She watched in horror as he bit back a smile.
“Umm … no,” she said. “Just an observation.” Lexi inspected the surface of the countertop for an awkward moment before she looked up at him again. Something inside of her was bound and determined to cross a line that shouldn’t be crossed.
“Okay …” he said, and even though he’d suppressed the grin, something in his eyes still beamed beneath the blue surface.
She smelled burning sausage. “Oh no!” she cried, and ran to the stove. Lucas chuckled as she frantically stirred the ground meat.
“I guess I’ll see you in a little while.”
Lexi nodded her head and continued to try and salvage what was left of the burnt offerings.
“Oh, and Lexi …” Lucas said.
She gazed over her shoulder, not willing to put down the spatula. “Yeah?”
“You’ll need a pair of gloves if you come out to ride. There’s extra pairs in the mudroom, on the top shelf, in the far right bin.” This time he gave her a lopsided grin and though she couldn’t be sure, she thought she saw him wink.
“I have gloves,” she said. Heat beaded across her forehead and she knew she couldn’t blame the frying pan in front of her.
“Yeah, but I’m sure they’re not made to handle horses,” Lucas said.
Lexi imagined her white leather and wool-lined gloves covered in horse hair. A shudder rippled through her body. “Okay, you’re right,” she said, as she continued to stir the meat. “Thanks.”
At that moment, the boys came stampeding down the stairs, except for Bo, who trailed behind.
“What smells so good?” Derek asked.
Lexi smiled at the compliment. “Homemade macaroni and cheese with sausage,” she said, removing the pan from the stove and setting it on a hot plate.
Adam scowled, beneath his Red Sox ball cap. “Sausage?”
“Trust me,” Lexi said. “It’s delicious.”
Adam wrinkled his nose. “If you say so.”
“Just don’t use a lot of pots and pans. Bo and I have kitchen duty tonight.” Owen said as they made their way into the mudroom.
Bo glanced in her direction as he passed and acknowledged her with something less than a smile across his lips. He wore a navy-blue stocking cap on his head, concealing most of his hair, drawing her attention to his large, silver-dollar-shaped eyes. Thick lashes, like the false ones she paid good money for, draped across his lids, while his clear, fair complexion made him appear like an innocent child. Lexi couldn’t believe the boy in front of her was capable of breaking the law.
Lexi wanted to know him, and since he would be in the kitchen tonight, she decided to leave a dirty pan or two from her preparation dishes. A commotion wrestled through the hallway and into the kitchen, pulling her away from her thoughts.
“Sounds like I better get in there,” Lucas said. “I’ll see you later.”
Lexi nodded. “Okay.”
A minute later, silence occupied the space around her, but it didn’t fill her head and she wanted to think about anything other than her boss and the fact that, yet again, she made a fool of herself. She pulled out her phone and hit the holiday playlist. Focusing on the task ahead as she crooned along to “Jingle Bells,” she made two heaping pans of mac and cheese and placed them in the oven.
She set the timer, swaying back to the sink. “Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleeeighhh,” she sang, grabbing the dish soap and twisting on the hot water tap.
“Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells …” Lexi turned to reach for a bowl on the counter and saw Lucas standing across the island, looking like he’d just caught her peeking at a present. She closed her mouth.
“Don’t stop on my account,” he said with a toothy smile.
“I … I … I thought you left already.”
“I did, but I forgot my phone and I’m waiting a couple of emails.” He waved his device in the air before he tucked it in his coat. “And I’m glad I did. Otherwise, I might not have known about your hidden talents.”
Lexi rolled her eyes. “Yeah, well, now you know why I didn’t choose singing as a career.” She quickly pivoted around and shut off the faucet before the sink overflowed.
“Well, I’m glad you chose the culinary arts instead,” he said, and grinned.
Her face was flushed yet again as she moved to face him, but she took solace in the idea that by this time Lucas might believe her face was naturally the shade of a cranberry. “Me too,” she said.
“It sounds like you made the right decision.” He laughed.
“Ha, ha,” she managed to say evenly, but couldn’t hold back her smile.
“I better get going. I’ll see you later.” He left the room, and Lexi placed her hands on her flaming cheeks, frustrated by their betrayal. She didn’t want Lucas to see the effect he had on her.
Some people wore their hearts on their sleeves, but not her. Lexi wore her emotions across her face like a memoir for the whole world to read, her private feelings published in red and blotchy text. And for some reason she couldn’t explain, Lucas Royal knew exactly which keys to push for bold, capital, and underlined letters.
* * *
Lucas hiked to the top of the hill, his breath rising into the air with each step. Beneath his layers, his body sweated from the exertion and the hot little chef in the kitchen. Flirting had been so easy and holding her close at the sink felt so right, but a little voice inside his head continued to shout that his behavior was wrong … wrong … wrong! Sometimes he wanted to grab his conscience by the neck and choke it.
The indoor barn stood a few feet from him and he was anxious to get to the boys, but something other than Lexi’s magnetic pull gnawed at him and he stopped. Turning around, he slipped in the snow, propelling him forward. He caught himself before he fell and the reality of where he st
ood punched him in the gut.
On the precipice of who he’d been and the man he’d become, he teetered between self-indulgence and benevolence. Lexi was like a gateway drug, clouding his judgment. His blood pumped as the adrenaline of his former self lured him in. Using his money to buy anything or anyone he wanted, and the memories of beautiful women he’d acquired and then tossed aside … it gave him a taste of the proverbial high he used to crave.
Reining himself in, he let Vivien’s face fill his head, the sorrow in her hazel eyes when he’d tried to manipulate her into loving him. A sickening nausea engulfed him, suppressing any desire for his former addiction. Tilting his head to the sky, he let the cold air and the sunshine penetrate through his skin, feeling the here and now. He would not be that person ever again.
Lucas was capable of change and self-control; High Country Ranch was physical proof of that. He’d been able to love Vivien enough to let her go, putting someone else’s needs in front of his own, and he knew he could do that again, but that didn’t mean he should play with fire. Lexi was the liquor to his alcoholic and he couldn’t entertain the possibility of even one drop.
The boys needed him and he needed them. He’d never felt anything as satisfying as what he was accomplishing here at the ranch, and he couldn’t let his attraction to Lexi change that. She was just another pretty face.
“Boss,” he heard Earl call from the doorway. “Are you coming in anytime today?”
“Coming.” Lucas turned to the barn. He jogged up, passed by Earl, who still held the door, and let the warmth of the barn beckon him to stay a while. The aroma of horseflesh, hay bales, and manure calmed him as he inhaled the scent of who he was now.
“Lucas, can you help me?” Hayden called with a saddle in his hands. His arms were about as thick as the wood handle on a pitchfork.
“Sure.” He crossed into the aisle of stalls that wrapped around the indoor arena, noticing a considerable weight was lifted from his shoulders. Now that he knew what was Lexi was to him and why he’d reacted the way he had, he could control himself and he knew he would.
