by Erica Penrod
“Everything?” he asked.
Her muscles tensed. She wasn’t sure what or how much she wanted to tell him. “The past.”
“Does everything have to do with the night you were so upset?” He pulled back on the reins and the horse stopped.
“Yes,” she said.
He offered his arm and helped her down. Then he got off and stood beside her. Lexi stared at the dirt; her thoughts were a muddy mess.
“You don’t have to say anything if you’re not ready. But I want to know you, everything about you,” he said as he lifted her chin. “Nothing you say will change the way I feel.”
Looking in his eyes, she wanted to believe him, but over her shoulder there stood a ghost, whispering the same words in her ear. Tears pooled in her eyes.
“Hey,” Lucas said. “What’s wrong?”
His words tore at the tattered flesh of a heart still missing pieces, but the thoughts in her head were worse. She wanted to cover her ears, do anything to keep from hearing the ghost’s confession: You believed me when I said those words to you, and look where that got you. He won’t want you either, not when he knows the truth.
“Nothing.” She wiped her eyes. “I’ll be fine.”
He gathered her into his arms and pulled her in close to his chest. “Whatever it is, I’m here when you want to talk.”
She’d never met anyone as patient as Lucas. His long-suffering endured through his interactions with the boys, and now her. Could she trust that he wouldn’t walk away once he knew everything about her? Casting the ghost aside, she held on tighter to Lucas.
“Thanks,” she said, and then kissed him until the tears were gone.
Chapter 14
There wasn’t much time, so Lucas knew he had to make the best of what he had. It was the Friday before Christmas and he’d entrusted Atiu and Earl with his plans. Lexi would be leaving in a couple days and he couldn’t stand to see her go, not like this. Whatever she kept hidden was painful and he wanted nothing more than to comfort her. Somehow, he had to make her see that this was real for him, that he was risking everything for her, and that he wanted all of her. He’d imagined a life with Lexi and even saw their future with little blonde babies and kisses of freckles across their noses, just like their momma. With a little luck and a little help from his elves, he might just make some Christmas magic of his own.
* * *
Lexi heard Atiu calling her name from the mudroom like his big pants were on fire. She dashed in with a dishtowel in her hands. “What?” she cried. “What’s wrong?”
Atiu closed the door behind him as he stepped into the room. “Oh, there you are,” he said like he’d been out for a casual stroll.
“Is something wrong?” she asked, drying her hands. “You scared me.”
“Nothing’s wrong,” he said. “Lucas wanted me to tell you to put something warm on and come up to the barn.”
Lexi glanced at the clock on the wall. “They’re not still riding, are they?”
Atiu’s Hulk-sized shoulders shrugged. “No. He just asked me to tell you he needs your help.”
“Well, all right,” she said, adjusting her ponytail. “But you’ll have to keep an eye on the pork chops. I don’t have anyone helping me in the kitchen, so I can’t just leave.”
“I can do that. When will they be ready to eat?” He unzipped his parka.
“Fifteen minutes or so. Just make sure the juices are clear.” She untied her apron and exchanged the snowman print for her coat on the wall. “I might be back, though. He knows I’m cooking.”
She kicked off her slipper boots and pulled on her insulated clodhoppers. Once she was bundled, she remembered the potatoes. “The au gratin potatoes are in the oven on warm. I was just about to toss a salad.”
“I’ve got it,” Atiu said. “I’m sure I can manage a salad.”
Lexi shook her head and exhaled. She didn’t like to be pulled from the kitchen when she was in the middle of creating. Opening the door, the cold smacked her in the face, but now she braced herself for the impact. Out through the garage and into the snow, she tromped her way up the hill, and then she realized she forgot to mention the rolls in the basket to Atiu. She huffed in frustration and appreciated her breath puffing into a cloud for the extra effect. This better be good.
When she reached the barn, Earl greeted her in the doorway.
“Oh, hey …” She passed through the door. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” he said. “And thanks again for helping me get my shoppin’ done.”
Lexi smiled. “My pleasure.” She thought of the darling doll she ordered for his granddaughter. “I hope they’ll be happy with their gifts.”
Earl closed the door. “They will. I knew what I wanted to get them, but I’m just glad you were to fine-tune my ideas and help me get them ordered on time.”
“They should be delivered to your daughter’s house,” she said with a nod.
“They were,” he said. “She sent me a text yesterday saying they’d arrived. So now I just got to get myself there and Christmas can begin.”
“That will be so fun to see Emma open her gifts,” Lexi said, sharing in his excitement.
“I know I’m biased, but Emma is the prettiest granddaughter there ever was.”
“I won’t argue with you. I’ve seen her pictures and videos on your phone.”
Earl’s eyes lit up like the star on top of the tree and he beamed the same shade as his Santa hat. “Thank you,” he said.
Lexi grinned. “Do you know where Lucas is?” She looked to the left towards the tack room, and then to the right. “I’m supposed to help him with something.”
“Follow me.” Earl led her down the aisle.
“Is he in the arena?” She wondered why Lucas needed her when Earl seemed available.
“No,” he said as they headed in that direction. “Not exactly.”
“What do you mean, not exactly?” He led her into the arena. “I thought you said he wasn’t in here.”
“Not exactly.” Earl pointed to the open garage door. “He’s out there.”
“All right,” she said, wondering why he didn’t just say that in the first place.
“I’ve got to get back to the boys.” He left her as abruptly as two chicken legs in hiking boots could go.
Shaking her head, Lexi continued across the arena to the tractor entrance. Stepping out, she hesitated, unfamiliar with this part of the ranch. A floodlight streamed down from above the entrance like a spotlight on a stage, and there were smaller lights under the overhang, but what lay in the darkness beyond, she wasn’t sure.
Moving on, knowing Lucas had to be here somewhere, she treaded lightly.
“Over here,” she heard, and followed his voice. “Come out past the barn and let your eyes adjust to the light.”
“What light?” she asked, thinking the wild goose chase had gone too far.
“The moonlight.”
Trusting him, she stepped out from beneath the eave, away from the electric lights. Stopping in the dark, she squeezed her eyes shut and then opened them, allowing the moon to light her way.
“Where are you?” She stood at the edge of the barn.
“I’m right here,” Lucas said.
Turning the corner, she found the last thing she expected: a horse harnessed to a sled and Lucas holding the reins. Her inner child squealed in delight as she saw something she’d only dreamt about. The picture books turned pages in her mind while “Jingle Bells” played in the background, but the part she’d never imagined, the frosting to her cookie, was the beautiful man about to take her on a sleigh ride.
* * *
“I can’t believe you did this.” She snuggled as close to Lucas as she could without sitting on his lap. Heavy quilts draped across them and she had one arm hooked through Lucas’s, and the other held a hot thermos of hot chocolate.
“I wanted to do something special before you left and spend some time alone with you, so I asked Earl and Ati
u if they’d help me out.”
“So they know about us?” She thought of Atiu’s telling eyes.
Lucas laughed. “I guess we weren’t as discreet as we thought. They said it was about time I took you on a date.”
Lexi tried to comprehend what that meant for them now. “But what about the boys?” she asked.
“Apparently, they’ve been on to us too,” he said, and then kissed to the horse.
“Are you going to fire me?” She squeezed his arm with hers.
They weaved along a road at the base of the mountain. Pine trees dressed in their winter best mingled with the leafless quaking aspens in thick patches all along the hillside. The moon lit up the world around them and cast a soft glow across Lucas’s face.
“That depends.” He glanced over at her. “Are you going to sue me?”
“That depends.” She fiddled with the thermos lid. “Are you going to continue to kiss me?”
Lucas pulled on the reins and the sled stopped. “Of course.”
“Well … then I—” she started, but he quickly interrupted her with his lips on hers.
Minutes later, Lexi tried to catch her breath as Lucas urged the horse forward. This had to be the most magical night of her life, and he had to be the most magnificent man she’d ever known. Lexi was spellbound as they rode slowly, sharing their favorite Christmas memories and traditions from their childhoods.
At the fork in the road, Lucas turned around and pulled off to the side. “There’s a bag over there.” He pointed next to her feet.
She lifted the canvas tote and heard the clash of mugs.
“Marshmallows and mugs.” He grinned as he removed his gloves, then grabbed the bag and took out two cups. “Next date, we’ll do dinner.”
“There’s going to be a next date?” She twisted off the lid while he held the mugs.
“I sure hope so.” He steadied the cup as she poured the hot liquid.
“Will it be just us, or will two men and eight teenagers be joining us as well?”
Lucas laughed. “I think we can sneak away here and there.”
Lexi filled her cup and then put the lid back on the thermos. “How did you make this without me knowing?” She stared at the jug. “I’ve been in the kitchen all afternoon.”
“Earl hijacked it last night and took it upstairs.”
“I’m impressed.” She took her cup.
“Hold this, please.” Lucas handed her his cup. He took the marshmallows from the bag and dropped them in their chocolate.
“Thanks,” she said.
He tossed the empty container in the bag and she returned his cup to him.
“I wish you could’ve met my family before you left,” Lucas said.
“Me too. I’m sorry they’ve been under the weather.”
“Yeah. I guess the virus went through all of them, but they’ll be here for Christmas and I’ll introduce you when you get back.”
“That sounds good.”
Watching the steam rise from their cups, Lexi settled in with her body close to Lucas’s. The hot beverage and the hot man had her insides nice and toasty. They sipped in silence, enjoying the moment, as snowflakes began to fall around them.
She reached the bottom of the mug at the same time Lucas leaned over to pick up the bag, with his empty cup resting on his lap. He reached in and pulled out a small gift box from inside. Lexi’s hot chocolate started to swish in her belly.
“I wanted to give this to you tonight, since I’m not sure we’ll have another private moment before you leave.”
“Lucas, you didn’t have to—”
“I know, but I wanted to.” He handed her the box. “Just open it.”
Her fingers trembled as she slid off her gloves and untied the ribbon. The box was white and of the jewelry nature; her palms felt clammy and moisture collected on her forehead beneath her hat. What would he get her at this point in their relationship?
She lifted the lid and inside was a smaller box, most assuredly of the jewelry nature. Swallowing back her discomfort, she glanced up at Lucas, whose smile started at his lips, but the happiness didn’t end there. His eyes sparkled like the stars above them, and seeing his joy in giving her the gift, she couldn’t help but let go of the trepidation and hold on to the excitement.
Gingerly raising the top half of the black velvet box, a glimpse of gold caught her eye.
“Are you always this slow at opening presents?” Lucas asked.
Lexi ignored him and opened the lid the rest of the way. A golden strand fell into her lap, which she quickly scooped up. Dangling in the moonlight was a bracelet, and when she looked closer, she saw tiny charms of kitchen utensils: pots, pans, a spatula, a rolling pin, a measuring cup, and several others.
“I love this,” she said, taking each charm in her fingers for a better look.
“There’s twelve charms,” he said. “One for all of your family at High Country, including you.”
Lexi clasped the gift in her hand. “Thank you,” she said. “It’s perfect.”
“I’m glad you like it.” He leaned in.
“I would love it.” She tilted her head to meet his lips.
“Merry Christmas,” he whispered, and kissed her softly one more time.
“Merry Christmas.” She wished she could capture the scene in a snow globe. She wanted to take the memory with her wherever she went: watch the snow fall all around them, see the sleigh pulled by a dapple-gray horse with bells on the harness, feel the way he held her in his arms, and savor the taste of his mouth on hers. She wanted to freeze the night she fell in love.
Chapter 15
The seat belt light flashed in preparation for the landing. Lexi fastened the clasp and took a deep breath as she looked out the window into the California sky. She’d only been gone for a little less than a month, and while nothing outside the glass appeared to have changed, her whole world would never be the same.
After the sleigh ride, Lexi worried about facing the boys, but the next morning as she filled their plates with blueberry waffles, they gave her mischievous smiles until Derek stood as their spokesperson. “So, you and Lucas are a thing?”
She tried to appear casual as she poured batter in the waffle iron. “Well, I’m not sure what a thing means.” She closed the lid as her cheeks burned. So much for casual.
“It’s cool,” he said. “Whatever you two are.”
The other boys nodded and that was the end of the conversation. Of course, she knew that had more to do with Christmas and less to do with their maturity level. But Lucas told her they’d sit the boys down after the holidays and explain. They kept their contact professional in the company of others, or at least they tried, but when Earl caught them kissing in the tack room, Lexi knew he’d never look at her the same.
The night before she left, she and Lucas took some time to say goodbye after the boys were in bed. They had spent the next hour snuggled on the sofa, with only tree lights on, while Bing Crosby sang “White Christmas” in the background. He held her and she soaked in his scent, letting the fragrance carry her into the future of possibilities.
Atiu drove her to the airport the next morning, on his way to spend Christmas with his family in Ogden. Earl left the day before and the three boys’ families were picking them up in the morning.
Now as the plane dropped the landing gear and the wheels touched the ground, she clutched the memory close to her heart. Being here, with her family and in the place where she was haunted most, she wondered if she was strong enough to be the woman she was with Lucas, in the place where she was perceived as the woman Brian broke up with.
* * *
Her father pulled his white Mercedes onto the brick paver driveway and followed the circular drive to the two-story Spanish Mediterranean-styled house—one of her father’s best projects. Lexi rolled her window down and admired her family’s home. The rich butter-toffee-colored stucco and the cocoa-colored terracotta shingles were accented with large arched windows, and pi
eces of black rod iron skirted the bottoms of the tinted glass.
Christmas lights were strung on every angle and curve, while a hand-carved Nativity of wood made by her grandfather sat nestled front and center in the yard—a neighborhood tradition. The priceless pieces of art were monitored by a hidden security camera, their sentimental value exceeding their monetary worth. Her heart felt the familiar joy in the holiday décor, but for the first time in her life, Lexi imagined what the place would look with a foot of snow wrapping the house and yard in that winter wonderland feeling.
When they drove into the garage, her sister ran out of the house and yanked on the door before her father stopped the car.
“Melissa!” their mother called from the doorway. “Wait until the car’s parked, for heaven’s sake.”
Once the car was shifted into park, the door unlocked and Melissa grabbed on to Lexi before she could undo her seat belt.
“Give me a second,” Lexi said to her sister, who reluctantly let her go. The seat belt released and Lexi was pulled from the seat and into her sister’s arms.
Her baby sister was a stiletto heel taller than Lexi, with thick dark hair that tumbled off her shoulders in waves to the middle of her back. Like their father, her eyes were a copper brown with flecks of scattered gold, and where Lexi’s lips were round and full like their mother’s, Melissa penciled hers in for added depth. Defined cheekbones were softened by a fairy’s kiss of freckles across her nose, the only common feature between the sisters. She had a laugh that could fill a room and a sharp mind that could pin anyone against the wall if she wielded her brain into a weapon. She’d make an excellent lawyer, and that’s why she’d be headed to law school next year.
“You look amazing,” Melissa said, once she released Lexi from her grasp. “Great outfit.” She took in her sister, looking over the denim button-down shirt layered beneath a long cream-colored cardigan that hung over black jeggings, topped with nutmeg-brown knee-high boots. Her hair was piled into a messy bun, with gold hoops hanging from her ears, and she wore the matching strand of pearls with the accompanying pearl bracelet her parents gave her for Christmas last year.
