Skulduggery 2

by Logan Jacobs

  “He’s right,” Cimarra breathed. “It has to not only look legit but feel legit, too.”

  “The one in the Halfling District is the best,” Penny responded. “They owe me a favor, too.”

  “Can you take care of that today?” I requested.

  “Of course.” Penny smirked. “Shouldn’t take them long to cook something up for us.”

  “Perfect.” I nodded. “Once we have the district entry papers, we will gain entry to the Capital, travel to the noble’s home, and then do what we do best and rob the elf.”

  “How do we get inside the house?” Dar asked.

  “I don’t know, yet,” I said.

  “We’ll find an entry point once we are looking at the house again,” Penny huffed as she rolled her eyes.

  “That’s right,” I agreed.

  “True.” Dar nodded.

  “Once we have the district entry papers we can plan the heist out more,” I said.

  “If we’re done I can go talk to--” Penny began.

  “Almost,” I cut the pixie off and turned to Dar. “Any luck on finding where we can buy some grain in bulk?”

  “Yup.” Dar stretched his hands over his head and then blew a smoke ring with the pipe still dangling from his lips. “My aunt gave me the name of the guy Adi used. A shipment should be arriving at the cottage today.”

  “Did you tell Marver about it?” I asked.

  “No. ” Dar’s shoulders slouched. “Should I have?”

  “He may wonder why a shipment of grain arrived without him knowing about it.” I scratched at the stubble on my chin. “I’ll take a trip over there today and handle it.”

  “I can go with you,” Dar offered.

  “Actually, I have something else for you to do,” I insisted. “I need you to take care of Hebal for me.”

  “In what way?” Dar asked as he leaned forward, grinned, and wiggled his eyebrows.

  “We aren’t going to kill him,” I said.

  “Awww.”

  “Yet,” I laughed.

  “Oh, good,” Dar chuckled.

  “After we finished the drop off in the Dwarf District, I felt like we could do the same thing in the Halfling, or any other district on our own.” I squirmed in my seat at the thought of freeing ourselves from the dwarf.

  “So, we’d become the distributor, too?” Cimarra guessed as she clutched her hands together on her lap.

  “Exactly,” I said as I bounced my feet up and down on my toes. “We need to figure out how we can distribute on our own terms as soon as possible.”

  “So whaddya need me to do?” Dar asked as he tapped the burnt tobacco out from his pipe.

  “Follow him, learn who he’s selling to, and how,” I answered.

  “Got it.” Dar grinned as he put his pipe in his pocket.

  “Alright, I’ll run over to the cottage, chat with Marver, return the horse, and bring back the grain and any other supplies we need for the distillation process of our next batch,” I announced as I scooted my chair back.

  “I’ll join you,” Cimarra said as she stood and latched onto my arm.

  “Perfect.” I nodded toward the dancer.

  “Now are we done?” Penny asked and arched her eyebrows.

  “We’re done,” I confirmed, and just like that, our plan was in motion.

  Chapter 8 - Dar

  I didn’t get up from the table as fast as everyone else did. It was still early in the morning for crying out loud.

  Humans and their need to rush around from one thing to the next always confused me. There was no such thing as a busy body halfling, at least not in my family.

  Back at home, before the guild, my day wouldn’t start until noon. That’s just how it was, and it was better that way, but humans liked to do things in a rush. Probably because they only had a few years to live. My mom always told me fruit flies had to be frantic because they only lived for a few hours, and after living with Wade and Penny for most of my life, I realized there was a bit of correlation. My two best friends often wanted to have breakfast before the sun was even up. It was kinda crazy, but what could you expect from humans?

  I preferred to take my time with everything. Especially breakfast.

  As a kid, I remembered waking up to the smell of bacon and my mother’s famous maple biscuits. That was one of the few things I missed most.

  “The secret is to put honey in the mixings, love.” My mom would wink at me as I watched her stir the batter. She didn’t stir like Marver, that angry bastard. Naw, she stirred like she molded the dough just for me.

  I tried not to think about home too much, though. I didn’t really like calling it home, either. My home was with Wade, Penny, and Cimarra now.

  Penny was like my sister, Wade was my brother, and they were more my family than my actual family. Even if they were human, and liked to wake up early and work.

  “Be safe, and see you guys soon,” Wade’s voice pulled me from my thoughts, and he waved to Penny and me as he waited for Cimarra to follow him.

  The dancer looked back and waved at us, too.

  “You bet.” I nodded and watched as Cimarra walked away with Wade.

  “You gonna fucking work today, or stare off into space?” Penny snickered as she gently elbowed me in the shoulder.

  “I ain’t staring off into space,” I retorted.

  “Well, then you were staring at the dancer’s ass.”

  “Naw,” I laughed. “She’s a beaut all right, but that’s Wade’s girl.”

  “So, you were thinking about breakfast,” the redhead stated.

  “Ahhh, you know me so well,” I replied, and then Penny rewarded me with a smile.

  “Well, I’ve gotta work, or Wade is going to give me that look,” she sighed as she danced away from me with a swirl of her silk dress.

  “What look?” I asked.

  “You know,” Penny groaned, “that look he gets when he’s disappointed in you.”

  “There is only one person who gives anyone that look,” I snickered, “and that’s you, ya pixie bitch.”

  “Whatever,” Penny huffed as she grinned at me, “good luck with the dwarf.”

  “Good luck with the counterfeiters,” I said and laughed as Penny turned her head around. “Don’t worry. I’m not lookin’.”

  “Yah ya are.” She scowled at me.

  “Cimarra’s ass is nicer, and I don’t look at hers, so why would I wanna look at yours?” I laughed.

  Penny smirked, gave me the middle finger, and blended into the busy street as she walked away.

  Fuckin Wade, he was a champion.

  I wondered what it was like to have two girls in love with him. Although, Penny was less ‘girl’ and more ‘force of nature.’ But still, her passion for Wade was obvious, and I just wished they’d fuck and get it over with.

  My eye was suddenly drawn to a dancer in a red dress from the hall across the street.

  I needed to get me a girlfriend or two.

  “Dar, no.” I smacked my face lightly and tried to refocus on what I needed to do. Then I left a coin on the table for the coffee maker and shuffled onto the street that slowly awakened around me.

  Between the noises, smells, and the blur of colors of the early morning commute, it always took me some time to get focused. I felt like my brain could only handle so much information, and walking through the Entertainment District always made things interesting for me.

  You know, with the half-naked girls, the food, and music, just to name a few things.

  Fuck, it was so hot out, too. Maybe I should get a cold drink or something before working any more?

  Naw. Focus, Dar. Wade needs ya to do the things, so we all don’t end up hanging from a noose or gutted in an alley.

  I was a teenager in human years the first time I’d found myself in the Entertainment District. That was way before the whiskey days, and way before I knew anything about women or life in general.

  Not that I knew much now, either, but I did know how to
blend in with the crowd in these streets. I did know how to nick a purse. I did know how to pick a lock, climb a wall, and move all quiet like.

  I also knew how to slit a throat or stab a back.

  I guess I knew a lot of useful stuff. That’s why Wade and I got along so well. He knew things, I knew things, and we were pretty damn good together.

  “Ahh, I’m all distracted again,” I moaned as I zigzagged along the street and dodged wagons, grumbling dwarves, and a few halflings. I kind of thought about grabbing a quick snack, but then I saw a familiar sight, and I skidded to a stop in a shop doorway.

  Once upon a time, Wade and I were supposed to steal a few goods from a human bastard who’d set up a medicinal shop out of his cart.

  At the time, when Hagan ran us, he was determined to rob the hopeless and dull as much as possible. We could tell just by the look of the store owner that it was going to be simple. He had some expensive shit out in the open for all to see and for us to take. The smart shopkeeps don’t do that. If they had to display anything outside or in the open, they usually put the broken and cheap shit out first.

  That day, Wade convinced me we should leave the guy alone, though. He always seemed to have more of a conscious than I did. For me, stealing was a skill I truly wanted to learn, but for Wade, I didn’t think he really had a choice in the matter.

  As for myself, I chose the thief life to escape my other one.

  The more Wade and I worked together, I suspected he began to rub off on me and I on him.

  And now, we’d finally hit the pinnacle on this new whiskey adventure we found ourselves in.

  I stared at the same cart now, and a smile touched the corners of my mouth. Maybe this was a good omen, and I made a mental note to tell Wade about it later.

  Now, I had to focus on Hebal.

  Wade was right. We were going to need to figure out how the dirty dwarf moved our whiskey through his district. Once we pieced his strategy together, we wouldn’t really need him anymore. Then we could put him in a ditch where he belonged and get on with making all the coin.

  Then I could have a few girlfriends, and maybe some extra meals and naps everyday.

  “Dar?” a familiar voice bellowed next to me.

  Damn, I knew that halfling’s voice. We all knew each other in some way, shape, or form. That was part of the curse of being me.

  “Jona?” I pasted a fake smile on my face and opened my arms to the chubby bastard.

  Jona had literally pulled over his wagon just to talk to me. I remembered why I’d left home now. I always thought the dwarves were the nosiest creatures.

  Well, halflings weren’t too far behind.

  “You fuckin’ mongrel!” Jona laughed from his belly as he reached out and pulled me into an awkward hug. “I haven’t seen you in ages. Are ya doing okay?”

  “Of course I am!” I patted him on the back and hoped he would let me go. I’d grown up with Jona, and it figured I’d run into him at the worst time.

  I could smell the smokey Dwarf District and even see it from where I stood. I didn’t want to miss Hebal or any of his goons.

  “Listen, about Adi.” Jona’s already thin eyes became thinner as he pulled away, took off his cap, and held it against his sweat-stained shirt. “So sorry for your loss.”

  “Thank you, but I’m doing fine, really,” I said with a solemn nod. I found it interesting Jona was out here, working. His family was just as well off as mine was. I pegged Jona to be the kind to stay and bask in his family’s riches.

  “We missed you at the ceremony.” Jona put on his hat again and gave me a weird look even though he tried to keep his tone sorrowful and sincere.

  “Adi knew I cared for him,” I said and held my stare on the chubby halfling.

  “I’m sure he did.” Jona rested his hand on my shoulder. “I know your family misses ya, too.”

  Jona used a famous halfling tactic all families liked to use on the outcast: guilt.

  My uncle did the same when I approached him about taking over Adi’s business. If it weren’t for my aunt and her financial suggestions, I wouldn’t have been able to take it.

  My aunt seemed to understand me more than most in my family, too. I could always sense a sliver of unhappiness in her voice, the same tone I had, even if she talked about happy things.

  “And I miss them,” I said and moved my shoulder so his hand slid off.

  He knew what he was doing.

  “I’ll make sure and tell them hello from ya.” Jona blinked more than usual and turned back to his wagon. “You take care of yourself now.”

  “Same to you, friend,” I said and waved halfheartedly as I watched him climb back up his wagon and take the reins in his hands.

  “Don’t be a stranger, Idarim,” he said with a slight smirk before he steered his delivery wagon back onto the road.

  I scowled at his retreating back and dropped my waving arm.

  That was another tactic.

  If we had a full name, use it to bring on a deeper sense of belonging. As much as I hated it, I still felt what he’d aimed for me to feel.

  Shame.

  I almost suspected my family had sent him to spy on me or something. They’d done that before and used the one person I cared for the most in this fucking world.

  She didn’t know they used her, though.

  My parents could be ruthless. I guessed that’s how they became as wealthy as they did. Little did they know, I followed right in their giant greedy steps.

  What was the famous saying?

  The apple didn’t fall far from the tree?

  Maybe I was living proof of that saying, whether I liked it or not. Either way, I couldn’t live my life the way they wanted me to.

  I shook my head to hopefully clear it from all of the bullshit, and then I continued toward Hebal’s.

  The streets had quieted down, and I knew I’d be secure in the Dwarf District. If Wade were with me, we’d be getting all kinds of weird looks, but it was just me, and my kind could pretty much go or stand anywhere without anyone caring.

  To pass the time as I waited, I pulled out my pipe and searched for the tobacco pouch in my other pocket. Then I leaned with my foot up against the brick wall of a dwarven eatery named “Hopskotches.”

  This spot would do.

  Hebal’s shop wasn’t far from where I was, and this particular restaurant didn’t smell too much like the spices dwarves liked to use. Those spices always irritated my nose.

  I loaded my pipe with the sweet but very stale tobacco. I knew I’d better enjoy tobacco while it lasted in the realm. The way the elven assholes were running things, that would probably be taken away soon, too.

  I was surprised they hadn’t already.

  Maybe they enjoyed it, too? Although, I’d never seen one smoke anything before. They probably thought about the massive amount of dwarves addicted to tobacco and didn’t want to deal with that issue. There was no way the dwarfs would stand for it. We’d have a full on rebellion.

  I remembered when they decided to ban alcohol, and I saw a few uprisings happen first hand because of it.

  She was part of one.

  Fuck, I could still see her hazel eyes. Even as I just pictured her in my memory, it made my stomach burn, but that good kind of burn.

  I puffed at my pipe, but there was still no sign of Hebal.

  So, I allowed myself to picture her face more as I watched the smoke drift into the sky.

  “Faye,” I muttered to myself and shut my eyes when I did.

  They say a halfling only falls in love once, at least that’s what I was told. If that were true, then I’d already used my one ticket for love on Faye. I felt myself falling deeper into my memories of her, and I’d usually fight them off, but I still didn’t see the dwarf.

  I had some time, so I let myself go back and remember.

  “Come with me tomorrow,” Faye said as she used her fucking eyes to put me over the edge.

  She always did that.

 
Her voice was like silk, and her face was soft and kind with a button nose and small chin.

  But her eyes were big, expressive, and beautiful, and they always pulled me in closer to her.

  “Come with me,” she said again, this time a little more eager.

  “Booze isn’t worth fighting over, is it?” I asked as I touched her cheek gently. We were lying in her bed together with our noses only inches apart.

  I could’ve stayed there for hours, and I did just that a lot of times. I would lie to Hagan so he’d get off my back, and sometimes she’d give me shit to take back to him. Those were the early days, even before Wade.

  “Who said anything about a fight?” She flashed her smile, and it showed in her eyes. “It’s a protest, not a war.”

  “Over booze?” I shrugged. “I love wine like you do, but I don’t want to step on the elves, ya know?”

  “So, you think this is right?” Faye sat up in the bed and leaned on her elbow. Then she looked down, and a bronze strand of her hair touched the tip of my nose.

  “I’m not saying that at all. It’s what happens all the time in stories.” I moved aside, leaned on my elbow too, and faced her. “You step on the toes of the bully, and they punch you. Cause and effect.”

  “You should really pick up a pen, or at least steal one,” she chuckled and scrunched her lips to the side before she continued. “This isn’t a story, Idarim. This is our lives, and if they take away booze, then what will they take away next?”

  “Damn it,” I sighed, because she was right, as usual. “When is it again?”

  “Tomorrow, near your guild.” Her eyes lit up with excitement. “I’ll meet you there.” She leaned in close and pressed her lips softly against mine. They tasted of the chocolates we had earlier that day.

  If I thought hard enough, I could still taste her on my lips.

  “Move along or buy something lad.” A dwarf wearing an apron nudged me and my memory away.

  I assumed he was the restaurant owner.

  “My-my apologies,” I stammered as I struggled to free myself from Faye in my mind.

  Thankfully, a wagon that drove past me instantly freed me, and I recognized the cart from the day of the exchange at the Miners’ Association.

  That was one of Hebal’s goons for sure.