Skulduggery 2

by Logan Jacobs

  “This the place?” Dar asked as we approached a medium-sized building with an arched roof shaped like a sideways “C.” The hall was made of smooth graystone and featured a wooden door and small wooden windows. Two big torches burnt out front and illuminated the sign that read, “HD Hall 003”and a halfling sitting beneath it on the front steps.

  “The Dwarven Halls are labeled the same way,” Dar said as he nudged me in the rib.

  “Elven idea?” I asked.

  “Yeah, most likely,” Dar muttered with a shake of his head, “like everything else around this shit hole.”

  “Selius?” I asked as we walked toward the halfling sitting on the front steps.

  “Man, I just love seeing ya both again like this.” Selius’ voice came from the shadow as he stood.

  “Keep your pants on.” Dar gestured to the hall behind Selius. “This the place?”

  “It is.” The young halfling nodded.

  “Did you talk to the owner and his brother after we left?” Dar asked.

  “I sure did, just like ya said.” The kid smiled. “You find a sample for them to taste?”

  “We got it covered,” I said, and I was a bit impressed with Selius’ eagerness. He showed more promise at this already than he ever did as a thief.

  “I knew ya would,” Selius replied before he cleared his throat. “Do ya think I could taste it, too?”

  “Yeah, but no more talk of it out here,” I said and put a finger up to my lips.

  “Got it, sorry.” He dropped his eyes to his feet and then turned to face the front door. “Ready to go in?”

  “Almost,” I said as I scoped out the place as best as I could. There wasn’t an elven tower located near the hall, and the hall itself was tucked in between some warehouses and other industrial looking shacks. “You trust these two, kid?”

  “I do.” Selius brought his hand to his heart. “They gave me work even when they didn’t have much for me. They’re decent halflings.”

  “Shall we?” I turned to Dar, who was looking down the street.

  “Let’s go.” Dar nodded toward the entrance.

  “After you,” Selius said before he moved aside and opened his hand toward the door for us to walk in.

  I grabbed the thick wooden handle and pulled it open with a grunt. When I walked in, the room opened up into a massive sitting area full of aged rectangular tables with chairs around them. Up near the front was a small stage that had a green curtain pulled back on a long golden rod. There were also a few halflings wiping down the tables and sweeping the floors from an event that had just taken place.

  “They’re both sitting at the far table over there,” Selius said as he waved at two older hunchbacked halflings. Both of them had messy white hair atop their heads like stretched out pieces of cotton. They shared wide cheekbones, thin eyes, and pointed chins. Their eyebrows rivaled Marver’s, but our angry chef still took the cake with the amount of hair he had on top of his eyes. Each of the halflings had a pipe dangling out from their red lips, but as I looked between their faces, something else struck me.

  Dar beat me to the punch, though.

  “Twins?” Dar’s mouth fell open as he gawked at the two halflings. “You know how rare that is in our culture?”

  “Who’s asking?” one of the twins asked as he turned toward us and sipped a cup of coffee.

  “Mr. Sully … Mr. Wyatt?” Selius waved again.

  “Good to see ya, kid,” the halfling with the coffee said to Selius as he eyed me. “You must be the magical human Selius bragged about earlier.”

  “Magical?” I asked.

  “The way he talked about you made it seem like you were the coming king to unite the races or some shit like that.” The halfling took another sip of coffee. “Are you?”

  “Yeah, we could use someone like that,” the twin brother chimed in and blew out a thick cloud of smoke.

  “Uh, no, I--” I began, but Selius cut me off.

  “Wade, meet Sully, the owner of the hall,” Selius announced as he gestured toward the coffee drinker with a wrinkled blue cloak. “And his twin brother, Wyatt. He runs a restaurant down the street.”

  “I’m the smarter one,” Wyatt said as he wheezed in laughter. Even though they looked identical, Wyatt had a wart on his nose that looked like a chocolate chip. “I don’t let no fuckin’ pointy ears use my place for some fairy poetry like my brother here.”

  “You have elves use this place?” Dar asked and clenched his jaw.

  “Are ya a blind bastard? They were all over the place today.” Sully tapped his coffee mug with his fingernails. “I have no choice on holidays. They set up their poetry sessions and force us to watch.”

  “It’s torturous poetry,” Wyatt wheezed again. “They make me want to puke.”

  I cracked a smile and hoped our mutual hatred of the elves would work in my favor tonight.

  “Thank you for meeting with us, I’m Wade, and that’s my business partner, Dar,” I said and glanced to Dar, who nodded. “Do you know why we wanted to meet?”

  “Do you think we’re dull?” Sully narrowed his eyes and slurped his coffee as if it were the last drop.

  “No sir, I just--” I cleared my throat.

  “Because Selius said you had something to offer our business.” Sully eyed the young halfling and then turned his aged face back to me. “Are you wastin’ our time?”

  “No, we don’t wish to waste your time, I--“

  “Then out with it,” Wyatt huffed and shook his head.

  My eyebrow twitched in irritation. I was dealing with the whole humans are less-than bullshit. I knew this game well.

  “Just know that I’m not going to play your game,” I began as the old bastards narrowed their eyes at me.

  “What game?” Wyatt’s voice rattled with his question.

  “Guys, just hear him out,” Selius chimed in from behind us as he sat on the surface of another table.

  “What game?” Wyatt ignored Selius and asked his stupid question again.

  “The ‘I’m better than a human’ game both you and your brother are playing right in my face,” I snarled. “I could give two squirts of orc shit if you both like me or not, but if you’re smart, then answer this fucking question: do you want to make a lot of coin?”

  Both brothers looked at each other for a brief moment, and a chair scraped against the floor across the room as the cleaning crews finished up.

  “We do,” Sully finally said.

  “We do, too,” I replied and then nodded to Dar. “Why don’t you show our friends what we brought so we don’t waste anymore of their precious time?”

  “Of course,” Dar said as he opened his satchel and then looked around the room.

  “Unless you’re about to show us a severed head, don’t worry about anyone else in here,” Wyatt coughed.

  “Here’s what’ll make your coin,” I declared as Dar placed the glass bottle on the table.

  The clear liquid swished from side to side from one brother to the next.

  “Water?” Wyatt wheezed and slapped the table as he laughed.

  “Give it a sniff,” Dar said to Sully, who wasn’t laughing like his brother.

  “Are ya fuckers mad?” Sully’s jowls shook as he forced himself to lower his voice. Then he grabbed the bottle to bring it closer to him.

  “What is it, Sul?” Wyatt asked as he arched his brow at his brother’s reaction.

  “Taste it, it’s real,” I said and opened my hands out for them to proceed.

  “Answer me, are ya mad?” Sully asked while he uncorked the bottle and gave it a sniff. “Yup, you fuckin are.”

  “Gimme that.” Wyatt snagged it and nearly spilled a few drops from the violent motion. He then lowered his warty nose to the mouth of the bottle. “I never thought I’d get a whiff of this again.”

  “You just did,” I said but pursed my lips because now I had two more people aware I made whiskey. “Interested?”

  “You’re mad … ” Sull
y repeated but pulled the bottle back from his brother and took a sip. His eyes closed as he savored the experience. “How would this even work?”

  “Lemme try.” Wyatt took the bottle and put it to his lips, too. As soon as he swallowed, he wheezed and laughed at the same time. “Just how I remember it.”

  “Answer my question,” I said as I reached for the bottle and gestured for Selius to join us. “Are you interested?”

  “I am,” Selius laughed as he sat across from me.

  “Try it.” I pushed the bottle across to the young halfling, and the dull scrape from the glass against the wood table echoed in the empty room.

  Both Wyatt and Sully watched Selius as if he were their first customer.

  Selius took a quick swig, and his eyes burst wide open.

  “Burns … ” the kid gasped as the whiskey took his breath away. Then a lopsided grin spread across his face. “That was fun.”

  He went to take another swig, but I held the bottle and pulled it back.

  “Fun is a good word to describe the whiskey experience, isn’t it?” I studied the brothers and felt like they needed a little push over the edge. “It’s not only a drink our entire realm has been craving, but it brings a fun experience just like the kid described.”

  “Seriously, I’d never had any drink like that.” Selius wiped his lips.

  “A lot of people haven’t … ” Dar added.

  “Because it’s fuckin’ illegal,” Sully snorted as he eyed his brother. “But … I’m interested.”

  “Me too,” Wyatt followed shortly after.

  “Good.” I reached over the table, grabbed the cork, sealed the bottle, and gave it back to Dar. “Now, remind me of your first question.”

  Dar placed the bottle back in his bag and folded his hands in front of him.

  “How would this even work?” Sully asked as he fidgeted with his coffee mug.

  “That depends on how much you want and how often.” I shrugged. “I’d also recommend a serving limit per customer and yourselves. We don’t want the elves sniffing around, or we’ll all hang. Every. Single. One. Of. Us.”

  The two brothers mulled this over.

  “Enough to last a week or so to start,” Sully finally replied and awaited my response.

  “Probably a barrel’s worth then,” I said with a nod.

  “How much is a barrel?” Sully asked nervously. “It can’t be cheap.”

  “It isn’t,” I said and pretended to do the math in my head. I already knew exactly what I wanted to charge. We were the distributors now and it was time to double the price we were charging Hebal. “Sixty gold per barrel.”

  “Fuckin’ hell! ” Wyatt and Sully scoffed at the same time.

  “You can probably sell a shot glass for at least a couple silver and a bottle for fifteen silver or more.” Dar tilted his head, paused for dramatic effect, and turned to me. “How many shots do you think one of our barrels hold?”

  “One of our barrels can hold up to two-hundred bottles of whiskey,” I cleared my throat. “That’s around thirty-six hundred shots, and if you’re selling a shot for at least two silver, then that’s seventy-two hundred silver in your pockets.”

  “Or better yet, seventy-two gold,” Dar added. “You’re in profit even if you sell it at the bare-minimum price, my friends.”

  “That sure does sound nice, don’ it, Sul?” Wyatt widened his eyes as he grinned.

  “Almost too good to be true,” Sully muttered and pursed his lips as he eyed me.

  “I’ll tell you what … ” I leaned in closer to the brothers, “to build some trust, I’ll give you each a small keg, not a barrel, of my whiskey by next week for ten gold from each of you.”

  “An extended taste test,” Dar said.

  “And if all goes well, then we can move forward with a barrel a week for each of you, or more if you need it,” I offered.

  “You can handle that type of production?” Wyatt asked as he scratched his chin.

  “We can,” I assured him.

  “Then I’ll shake on the keg for ten gold by next week and see how it goes.” Sully extended his hand to me.

  “I’ll do that too, then.” Wyatt did the same.

  “It’s a deal.” I shook both of their hands as I grinned from ear to ear. “I’ll have Selius come and give you a heads up when we’re ready to deliver.”

  “Okay, human.” Sully’s eyes narrowed again. “We’ll see how this goes.”

  “We will,” I agreed and stood up from my seat.

  “Thank you for your time, good sirs,” Dar said as he shook their hands as well.

  And just like that, we expanded into the Halfling District.

  “Thanks, Wyatt and Sully, see ya soon.” Selius waved one more time before we exited the hall.

  “Way to seal the deal with the keg option.” Dar clapped my shoulder. “We do have enough in our current batch, right?”

  “Yeah, we do. Hebal will still get his, and these guys will get their kegs.” I scratched at my neck. “We’ll need to find some small kegs, though.”

  “I’ll handle that,” Dar said with a mischievous grin.

  “So, I’d just have to deliver to them, right?” Selius asked from behind us, and I noticed he was deep in thought.

  “Yeah, for now, that would be it,” I said with a nod.

  “I think I can do that.” Selius rubbed his hands together as we walked back down Guilder Street. “Can I tell ya somethin’ else?”

  “You better not be backing out now.” Dar stopped in the middle of the street that seemed darker than it was when we first walked in. Every other street lantern the worker had lit was snuffed out.

  “No, no, it’s not that at all,” Selius sighed. “I just wanted to bring this up, especially since ya brought me in to help.”

  “Out with it then.” Dar nudged him as we continued to walk down the muddy street.

  “I think … ” Selius cleared his throat and sniffed. “I think I’ve been followed lately.”

  “Followed?” I placed a hand on Selius’ chest to stop him. “By the elves?”

  “I can’t tell.” The kid’s eyes looked around to the top of the buildings. “I thought I saw them again on our way to the meeting, but I didn’t want to be a distraction.”

  “Kid, you gotta tell us these things,” Dar groaned. “We are doing the kind of work that gets people fucked in the asshole with a pike. Have you seen them for sure?”

  “I … ” Selius paused and ran a small hand through his hair. “It’s like from the corner of my eye, I see it for a quick second, like a spirit.”

  “A stalker spirit, huh?” Dar laughed. “For a second I was worried, but now I think you’re just sleep or food deprived.”

  “Ya think so?” Selius asked and looked to both of us in the hopes that he wasn’t going crazy, or worse for us, actually being followed.

  “I think so,” Dar reassured him and draped his arm over the kid. “Right, Wade?”

  “Yeah, don’t worry about it.” I smiled, but my gut was telling me something different. I didn’t need the kid to be all jumpy, but it didn’t feel right.

  We walked in silence the rest of the way to the Thief’s Guild and dropped Selius off.

  “You’ll have to keep us updated on when the guild leader approaches you about a new manager.” I tugged at the kid’s arm before he walked up the stairs. “I’m sure they’ll assign another one to you soon.”

  “I got ya, Wade.” Selius unleashed a toothy grin. “I’ll see ya guys soon.”

  “And get some sleep for once,” Dar said as he waved to Selius.

  Then we both stepped down the stairs, and I took a long deep breath.

  “He just needs rest,” Dar said as he noticed my concerned face.

  “I think we all do,” I breathed. “But even if we never sleep again, we’ll be rolling in what matters most.”

  “Whiskey?” Dar whispered.

  “No, well, yes … ” I chuckled and leaned in closer to Dar. �
��We’re going to be fuckin’ rich.”

  “I know,” Dar squealed and then nodded back behind us toward the guild. “How much are we paying the kid?”

  “Fairly, he’ll be good,” I said. “We’ll figure all the details out with Cimarra.” I took another step, stumbled over a rock I couldn’t see, but then caught myself mid-trip.

  “Fuck, you alright? It’s dark, ain’t it?” Dar said right when we rounded another bend to see the entire street was pitch black. The homes and businesses along each side of the road were nothing but purple shadows. It reminded me of the blackout that caused the stampede of livestock to run wild through the streets.

  But it was different this time. The streets were empty, which is what I found the oddest since it wasn’t too late.

  “I’m getting tired of these elves,” I grumbled as I saw an elven tower in the distance move a single beam of enhanced light through the streets.

  They’re here.

  The keys’ melodic voice suddenly echoed through my head, and my heart dropped into my stomach.

  “Oh shit …” I breathed and looked to Dar, who was nearly invisible in his all-black outfit. “Do you have matches?”

  “What’s wrong?” Dar asked as he pulled out his pockets in search of matches. “You’re freakin me out.”

  “We need any kind of light,” I demanded, and I strained to see in the darkness as the light patter of boots came toward us.

  “I have a single match.” Dar held it up, but I think he just flipped me off. “Let’s just go a different way.”

  Dar tugged me, but as we turned around, the entire street behind us was now pitch black. Every lamppost had been snuffed out.

  “Magic?” I asked as my pulse thundered in my ears.

  “Fuck. I think so … ” Dar kept his hand on my back as we moved together toward the nearest wall. “First Day Elves and now Night Elves? What a fuckin’ day.”

  I hushed Dar as multiple pairs of feet squished in the mud across the street from where we stood.

  We crouched low to the ground, put our hoods up, and didn’t move. We were trapped.