The girl in the bed next to me knew my older sister from Stanton School. She broke her ankle when she fell off her horse.
Anyway, when my sister left the hospital after a long talk with me, I was wheeled over in my bed to the TV room, where I watched the Emmy awards until they were finished. After that I was taken back to my room and went to sleep.
The next day I stayed in hospital until about 3:00 pm, which was when Mum came and picked me up to take me home. I got my crutches and I can use them well.
Clara visited me on Tuesday. Obviously, I didn’t go to karate, even to watch. Nothing much to say about Wednesday and Thursday. On Friday, Mum and I got up early to go get my toe cleaned and strapped. It was real quick. Then we went to Shanton for a quick look at clothes, then back home. Mum left for work after that. Nothing much happened that day, except Mum got me Dad’s Father’s Day present and card, and some art stuff.
TUESDAY
6
SEPTEMBER
I just rang Caleb (from badminton) to see whether he wanted to see ‘Short Circuit’ but he said he’d seen it with his little brother. This may be true, but I’m getting frustrated with boys. Whatever I do about them, nothing ever seems to come out of it. And I’m getting fed up, and now I’m thinking about it, I’m going to do a scene to make boys interested in me, and I know I can do it too, because I reckon Caleb did like me, so why not? I read a book about this girl who was too shy around boys for them to take notice of her, so her friends set up scenes to make her popular. She had a schedule for each day of the week to get boys’ attention, like in some classes she would drop a pencil (for a boy to pick up), or she rang up a boy about homework or asked them innocent questions just to make them notice her, and it worked. So why shouldn’t it work for me too? And also I’m on crutches, so boys have got to be a little curious.
Schedule for what good-looking boys are in my classes:
Monday
Bio – Kenneth?
Art – ?
Computers – More than one.
Typing – Matthew??
Study – Matthew. Kane!
I can smile a lot and say “Hi.” In Study I can ask to borrow something, then smile – most innocently. What a joke. It’s fun having a diary, where you can write way-out ideas. The only thing I’m worried about is someone else reading it.
Another idea is I can walk, or in my case, hobble past Mike a lot to catch his interest and I can smile. Most people say my smile is cheeky, mischievous. Though, it can get me into trouble sometimes because I often smile when I’m getting told off. But I can’t help it, it’s a nervous reaction. Not my fault they think I’m being cheeky.
Who else can I work on? Even 5th formers, fourths are a bit too young at my age, maybe when they’re older, but I doubt it. It’s got to be someone special like Mike! This last term has got to be my lucky term. I hope!
I can be really friendly. I should be nicer to Jill though, because she doesn’t have a lot of friends. I reckon the way she acts is just a show when she is around people. A lot of people are like that. They’re all show. That gives me an idea. Well, not really, but I just remembered Robert Jenkins. I think he liked me in 5th form, so there’s another guy who’s alright. I know this term is going to be different and I’m going to prove it. I’m going to set a goal and get what I want. I can change everything. I’ll be a whole lot friendlier, talk to more people, make them notice me. I’ll start straight away when I get to school. Mum will be giving me a ride because of my foot, which means my younger sister and Shena will also get a lift. So, when I get to school I can smile at everyone, be really friendly and jokey, just to make people – boys – notice me. I need to boost my self-esteem. I am DEFINITELY GOING TO HAVE A BOYFRIEND VERY SOON!!
FRIDAY
9
SEPTEMBER
(Age 17)
I am just so fed up with my younger sister, all she ever does is try to annoy me and she’s very good at it. I wish she would just quit it; it really gives me a headache and makes me so frustrated. You just can’t win with her.
I had my birthday on Wednesday – Mum, my younger sister, and I went to see ‘Short Circuit 2’ and I got some real nice earrings from Clara, she also gave me some stockings. And prior to this, on Father’s Day, we all went to my grandparents’ place for a relations’ gathering. I got my present from Aunty Tiana there.
There’s nothing much else I want to say about what happened over the past week, but I would like to write down what I feel. I’m getting excited about school, but I still want it to be holidays. I just have to make a change for myself. Today, I was looking for clothes to wear to school on Monday, because I want to look good like everyone else. I want to feel good about myself. I feel like washing my hair now, but I won’t, because it’s better to wash it on Sunday so it’ll look nice for school. I wonder what will happen there – whether it’ll be the same old frustrating stuff or a nice change for once with a bit of excitement, like two guys going after me, and both of them are gorgeous. Wouldn’t that be great? And I wouldn’t know which one to pick, although I would probably choose one from the other. In America they date more than one person at the same time. I reckon it should be one at a time, whether you are going steady or not.
I hope that things will change at school for me, meaning I get to go out with boys, so I’ve got to get my plan working, meaning the schedule for getting them to notice me. I don’t want to chicken out or anything. I’m seventeen now, and I think it’s high time for me to have a boyfriend, so I’m going to try my hardest to prove to Mike or any other boy that I’m worthy of being their girlfriend.
There’s going to be a lot of smiling going on from Monday at school.
SATURDAY
10
SEPTEMBER
My brother is coming tonight (he’s 20). He’s bringing presents for me and my younger sister, since our birthdays are close together. I think I’m getting a record voucher. If I’m right, I would probably buy either Kylie Minogue’s or Debbie Gibson’s record.
I want to change my bedroom around, but since the holidays went so quick I didn’t have the time, so in the Christmas break I’m going to totally redecorate it, and I’ve got heaps of ideas to make arty things for my room, like halving a car and joining it to the wall. I’ll have the windscreen area as a mirror and the seat in the car will open up to be a drawer, and the front trunk will also be used for storage, and it will be covered in soft material. I don’t know what the material is called, maybe velvet or something like that. Crushed velvet? I’ve got heaps of other ideas, but I don’t feel like writing them all down, but the car is the first on my list.
I better do my homework now.
Continued—
‘21 Jump Street’ was so cool tonight. Man, Johnny Depp is super gorgeous. He was acting undercover as the tough guy. He wore a bandana around his head and was in denim. If a guy like him was at my school, man, every girl would be after him. And seeing someone like that makes me want to be cool, and it makes me want to be liked by boys. I wish I could go to school wearing a hat or a bandana, but I just don’t have the guts to do it. Maybe in the third term my image will change, and I will become more well-known.
MONDAY
12
SEPTEMBER
I wore Clara’s hat all day. I didn’t bother mingling with boys, but I promise I will tomorrow. Anyway, I saw Mike. He is just so-o-o-o gorgeous. I really want to go out with him. Today he was wearing a black hooded sweatshirt and his black jacket. He’s got a real nice bod too, actually the truth is – he’s got a gorgeous bod and everything that comes with it. The problem now is that I won’t be going to karate so I can’t see him, and at school, the only time I see him is when I go out of my way to the art room at roll call, and also if I’m lucky I may see him after or before school. But I can’t get him to notice me. It’s really annoying. What do I have to do to get his attention? And dislocating my toe doesn’t count.
Well, he saw me with Clara’s hat on, but he
didn’t show any interest. Actually, I wasn’t looking at him straight, only out of the corner of my eye, so I couldn’t really tell what he was doing.
Day 5 tomorrow.
English
Bio
Art
Liberal Studies
Computers
Home
I used to make up a list of all the classes Gabriel Norton had with me or near me. I really liked him; he liked me a lot in 4th form, I only wish I had believed him. I might have gone out with him if I had. I was such a moron, but how was I supposed to know he liked me that much? Okay, he called me spunky and kept looking at me, but I wasn’t used to being noticed by guys, so my stupid brain didn’t register it. I realise it now, but back then I didn’t have a clue. No boys paid me attention in 3rd form, then all of a sudden in 4th form three guys in my class were paying me attention. I didn’t believe it, because two of them were in my class the previous year and they never paid me attention then. And when Gabriel did, I felt flattered, but I never really thought he was serious, just thought it was all a tease, until he found out (from one of my so-called friends) that I had sent a stupid note to an older boy (which led to nothing, because I didn’t sign it). But I wasn’t going out with Gabriel, and I didn’t really understand how much he liked me. And anyway, I don’t understand boys, they confuse me. If he thought I was his girlfriend, he should have asked me out, because how was I supposed to know otherwise. I DON’T UNDERSTAND BOYS!
Back to now. I can’t make a list of classes for Mike, because he isn’t in any of mine since he’s a 2nd year 5th former.
FRIDAY
16
SEPTEMBER
Everything is happening so quick, it’s confusing. I’m really busy. I got my poetry project handed in on time, but only because I stayed up way past 11:00 (obviously pm) to do it, and worked on it all through my other subjects and lunchtime just to get it finished and out of my hair.
The Olympics are on tomorrow at 12:30, which is really exciting. ‘Teen Wolf’ the movie is on at night, and so is ‘21 Jump Street’ with Johnny Depp, which is my favourite programme at the moment.
Mum brought some perming solution home today for Nina and her. I’m having thoughts about my hair being done too.
I can’t wait till the Christmas holidays. School finishes on November the 18th. I could do what I like, it would be so choice! I’m going to totally redecorate my room, and I’ll be back at karate by then.
44 days left of school.
Mike is gorgeous, but I have to control my feelings and keep it cool. I know I write about him a lot, (but) the reason for this is that I want to talk to someone. I’m not only ranting and raving about him in my diary, but I’m letting my feelings out to cool off. I need to talk to someone, like I said before. I need a boyfriend. I get so lonely sometimes. Well, not really lonely, but I feel like there’s something missing in me. Clara has a boyfriend, Mike (not my Mike obviously) and she’s really happy. Well, it makes up for her first boyfriend Samuel. I don’t know why she went out with him; she must have liked him a weenie bit, even though she says she can’t stand him, and calls him names.
I saw Mike (my one) walking home from school today. I reckon he doesn’t like me at all. It’s just a bad feeling.
Mike’s description:
Gorgeous bright blue eyes, slim, and the right height (taller than me). Dark brown wavy hair, a gorgeous style. Gorgeous bod.
I’ve just got to get him out of my mind, unless by some way-out miracle, which is most highly unlikely, he asks me out. To get him out of my head, I’ve got to think of other things, like concentrate on work. I’ve got 3 projects to do by the end of the month, lots of tests and an exam for Typing, which will be 2 hours long.
Projects
Bio – Birds (rare).
Typing – Folio (on myself).
Computers – Essay on any topic to do with computers.
I need to go to the library to return some books and to get some out for Bio and Computers, as well as get other information. I could work down there – study – do homework.
Well, good night.
SUNDAY
18
SEPTEMBER
3 more weeks until I start karate again. I can’t wait. I really want to go; it’s so different without it. I wonder what I will do when I get back - because of my toe. Also, I will be missing badminton for 3 weeks, since it starts tomorrow. I hope that Caleb won’t turn up when I’m not there. That would ruin everything.
I want to write a book. It could be about this girl who’s got this crush on this boy at her karate class. I might have to change that, because if someone reads it, it could state the obvious. Anyway, back to the story, this girl also goes to badminton and she likes a guy there as well. She gets her friends to ask him out for her and he says yes, but they don’t get together because he has a job on the only night they can meet. She gets so confused and school becomes frustrating, and all she can wait for is the Christmas holidays. Also, she misses karate because of a dislocated toe, and badminton also. She’s unsure of herself and wonders whether she will ever get a boyfriend.
AND, she wants to ask the boy from karate to go to a school ball – her friends do it for her. She feels embarrassed around him sometimes, but goes out of her way just to see him, without him noticing her, because she has an art class in his form room.
PLUS, her best friend has a new boyfriend and she feels even more lonely when she sees them together, and sometimes is annoyed because her friend is always with her boyfriend and his friends, and she’s not too keen on this.
This could make a great book. I could write it in the holidays, and when I get more time I could also do my art sculptures after it. I reckon the story’s a great idea, and would be suited to the teenage public. They would be interested in it. I’ll read more teenage books in the holidays when I have time. I don’t think it would be good for the adult public. When I grow up, I could write one for them, but right now I prefer teenage books.
I could write a book like Victoria Holt. Mum could read it, because she likes those books a lot. I could study her books and also Barbara Cartland’s ones. I’ve never read a Cartland book before, but I know Victoria Holt’s books are good.
I could write it about a princess who runs away from home because of her sister’s jealousy of her beauty. She’s scared for her life, so she leaves behind her childhood darling, who her sister fancies. The princess then travels into the country with a new identity to protect herself. She comes to a small village which is run by this big manor that has mysterious owners, and one who she falls in love with. But meanwhile her other lover goes in search for her, but not knowing why she ran away he leads the main character’s sister to her, who is mysteriously beautiful, but very wicked, and so all three become entangled in the mystery of the manor house, and its secret murders. The older sister dies in the end and the owner of the house goes missing – he murdered the older sister, thinking she was the other one. And the childhood sweetheart saves the good sister’s life and they go back to her father’s palace and get married. There could be a sequel to it. That would be great.
SATURDAY
24
SEPTEMBER
Man, am I tired. It’s a Saturday morning. I shouldn’t have stayed up so late last night. My toe’s getting better, and from tomorrow I’ve got two weeks before I can do anything – sport, I mean. I’ve got to hand in a biology project next Friday, so I need to do it this weekend, then during the week I have to finish photocopying all the information I’ve got on the subjects. I also got an English project to hand in, so that will be done during lunch time and after school at the library. And then there is the Typing resume project due. Heaps of homework! I don’t really have any time to be bored. Well, I know I won’t be bored during the Christmas holidays. I’m counting the days. I’ve got so much stuff I want to do then. This year, I’ve never been bored in the holidays, because I had lots of work and the time left was taken up quickly.
1
8th of November is the day we get off school, which isn’t that great, because now I’ve got to wait approximately 39 days before school is finished – I think that’s near enough correct.
I will be missing another karate lesson and Tuesday’s karate lessons till I go back, I think. I can’t wait. I played badminton yesterday, doubles. We won one game. All I could do was hobble around the court doing my best. I don’t have to go to the doctor’s anymore since I can change the dressing myself.
Clara’s birthday is coming up, so I have to get her something. I’ve already got my mum’s present; her birthday is a week from Tuesday.
I will be missing another two weeks of badminton. I hope I won’t be missing Caleb. Devin might be there too.
(Sorry, I’m writing in such a mess. I’ll try to tidy it up.)
I remember when I had badminton last, these guys who knew Devin were teasing me about an old crush I had on him. I don’t know why, because he’s cute and all, and I would go out with him if he asked me, but I wouldn’t go barmy over him. It happened a long time ago. He’s alright, I suppose. Though, I shouldn’t have talked about Caleb around him, because he looked a bit glum and I was being stupid about Caleb like that. If Caleb wants to go out with me, it will happen and if he doesn’t then too bad. The same thing goes for Mike and Devin, because I’m sick of worrying about it and trying to speed things up. I don’t like being made a fool of, and I won’t take it. I’m not going to ask any boys out anymore! Unless I am their girlfriend officially! Well, I better go and do my jobs, so I can start on my homework as soon as possible and finish it quickly.
Don't Peek (The Diaries of a Teenage Girl) Page 2
