You Against Me

by Jenny Downham

  They got dressed side by side. There was something medical about it, like they’d both just been checked over by a doctor. Mikey finished first and sat on the edge of the bed watching Sienna pull her shoes on. When she was done, she sat down next to him.

  ‘What are you thinking?’ she asked.

  He was thinking about giraffes. He’d watched a pair of them shagging in a zoo once. The male was really desperate, scrabbling up high on his ridiculous legs. He kept sliding down and the female kept moving away, munching on a twig as if she hadn’t even noticed. He’d thought sex would be like that – some girl gritting her teeth and him just getting on with it. And sometimes it was.

  He wondered what Sienna would do if he didn’t say anything, how long she’d last. He stole a look at her. Her hair was messy and her eye make-up was smudged. It was like looking at a stranger. Who are you? he thought. Who have I just spent the last hour with?

  In the end she grabbed hold of his T-shirt and gave it a tug. ‘Don’t you fancy me any more?’

  ‘I’m meeting a mate.’

  ‘It’s your morning off.’

  He tapped his nose. ‘We’ve got runnings.’

  ‘What does that mean?’

  She reached out to stroke him, but he shook her off and went over to the window. He looked down at the road below, willing Jacko to hurry up.

  ‘So you shag me and then run away?’

  Anger prickled under his skin. Why were women on at him all the time?

  She folded her arms at him. ‘I think you’re pathetic.’

  He sighed, checked his phone for messages. Two texts. He hadn’t heard them arrive – must’ve been when he was in the middle of things with Sienna. One from Jacko saying he was outside and the other from an unknown number. He opened it up.

  Still want to get to know me better?

  Whoa! He absolutely wasn’t expecting that!

  ‘Who is it?’ Sienna moved to see, but Mikey held the phone away from her.

  He texted, Does this mean u like me?

  ‘Serious,’ Sienna said. ‘Who’s it from?’

  She got up and tried to grab the phone from him, but he held it higher. ‘It’s private, all right?’

  She flung herself back on the bed and pulled the duvet over her face.

  ‘I told you I couldn’t be with you all day,’ he said.

  A reply. Ur ok.

  He grinned, texted back, Only ok?

  He put the phone away. Days had passed and nothing – he’d almost stopped thinking she was real. He leaned over and patted Sienna through the duvet.

  ‘Got to go.’

  She yanked the duvet from her face and glared at him. He grabbed his tobacco and lighter from the table and held his hand out.

  ‘Come on, let’s have a smoke outside before I go.’

  Jacko was down in the road sitting on the roof of his car. He gave them the thumbs-up as they appeared at the door.

  Mikey leaned over the railing. ‘Be with you in a minute, just having a smoke.’

  ‘Have a good time up there?’

  Sienna scowled. ‘You gonna let him talk like that?’

  ‘He doesn’t mean it badly.’

  Jacko chuckled as he slid off the roof, opened the door of his car and got out a duster. He rubbed lovingly at the windscreen, then bent down to do the same to the mirrors.

  ‘Look at him,’ Sienna said. ‘All he thinks about is sex and cars.’

  ‘He’s a bloke.’

  ‘He looks at me funny.’

  ‘He fancies you.’

  Mikey thought that’d make her feel better, but it didn’t seem to.

  She frowned at him. ‘Will I see you later?’

  ‘I can’t.’

  ‘We could go out.’

  ‘I’ve got work, then I’ve got to get shopping.’

  ‘I’ll come with you.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘I’ll come to the flat later – you can introduce me to your sister.’

  ‘She doesn’t want to see anyone.’

  Sienna glowered at him. ‘Have you even asked her? She might like a visitor.’

  ‘She’s got plenty of mates who are up for the job if she does.’

  ‘Why won’t you let me help you? You don’t have to do this all by yourself, you know.’

  But he did. Karyn and Holly belonged to him and he belonged to them. He was the only brother they had.

  ‘I don’t think this is working,’ Sienna said. ‘I don’t actually understand the point of you.’

  Good call.

  Sometimes Mikey fantasized about drowning – pretending to at least. Leaving his jacket and phone on some beach and swimming away. He could be anyone. He could start again. Do it better next time. He chucked his fag on the ground and stamped it out.

  ‘I’m off.’

  ‘You’re walking away?’

  He nodded, kept his mouth shut.

  ‘If you go now, it’s over. I mean it, don’t bother calling me again.’

  He didn’t look back.

  Twelve

  ‘A text from his sister?’ Jacko laughed so hard he nearly crashed the car. ‘Oh man, you kill me. You genuinely can get any girl you want!’

  ‘It doesn’t mean anything.’

  ‘Of course it does. Hey, let’s stick her in the boot of the car and send her brother a ransom note!’

  Mikey shook his head, smiling. ‘What are you talking about? We’re not going to kidnap her.’

  ‘Listen, man, listen. Here’s what happens after that. The brother climbs into his Jag XJ to come and find her, but in his rage he forgets he’s got the supercharged version and goes roaring too fast at some corner. Wham! He hits a tree. Instant decapitation. Bits of his brain spattered all over the road.’ Jacko slapped the steering wheel. ‘That, my friend, is one beautiful revenge.’

  They elaborated on the story as they drove through town, both of them doubled up with laughter as it got more and more ridiculous. They rammed Tom Parker’s dead head on a stick and paraded it down the high street, leaving his bereaved family to scrape the rest of him off the tarmac. Grateful townspeople lined the streets. Flags were waved in their honour, pub doors were flung open, girls threw knickers and phone numbers.

  ‘It’d be so cool!’ Jacko howled, his eyes watering. ‘We’ll take the hottest girls to the Prince of Bengal – best table and free rogan josh and poppadoms all night!’

  ‘Enough, enough!’ Mikey laughed. ‘Curry and love don’t mix, you know that. Come on, man, we have to stop this. We’ve got to get serious and think what to do.’

  It was beautiful weather for March, the window was down, his elbow was stuck out in the wind. They passed a group of cyclists – tourists from the bike-hire place, probably cycling along to look at the lighthouse, or maybe further round the coast to the crazy golf and slot machines. It had been Mikey’s favourite outing as a kid – he and Karyn used to save up two pences until they had enough to make it worth getting the bus out there for the afternoon. Afterwards they bought ice cream and sat on the beach.

  So, how could meeting Ellie Parker help Karyn? She’d be able to tell him stuff about her brother, where to find him alone, what his routines were. She didn’t know who Mikey was. She fancied him. That was a lot in his favour.

  Maybe he could meet her more than once, use all that charm Jacko was always telling him he had. He’d do it properly, really romance her. Then, when she was completely under his spell and he’d got all the information he needed, he’d dump her.

  Nobody needed to know. He wouldn’t tell Karyn or Mum. He’d make sure Ellie never found out who he was.

  ‘Pull in after the lights,’ Mikey said. ‘Then turn round at the garage.’

  ‘What’s going on? I thought we were doing a recce of the golf club.’

  ‘It’ll have to wait.’

  ‘I’m telling you, Tom Parker’s a golf freak. We just need to check out CCTV and escape routes and we’re laughing.’ Jacko swung an imaginary club high above his h
ead. ‘We’ll kill him on the green with a five iron.’

  ‘I need to go back.’

  ‘Back where?’

  ‘I’m going to meet his sister.’

  Jacko frowned. ‘We’re really going to kidnap her?’

  ‘We’re not going to do anything. I’m going to chat her up and get information out of her.’

  Jacko lit a fag as they waited for the lights to change at the junction. ‘You go anywhere near that girl with your dick, Mikey, and hell is going to suck you under.’

  ‘I’m not going to shag her, I’m going to find stuff out.’

  Jacko shook his head. ‘You won’t be able to help yourself.’

  Mikey ignored him, texted, When?

  The reply came flying back, Now.

  ‘That’s a bad sign,’ Jacko said.

  Mikey texted, Where?

  Again, the text came straight back: Cemetery.

  Jacko frowned. ‘It’s a stitch-up. She knows who you are.’

  ‘No way. How could she?’

  ‘I’m coming with you.’

  ‘No, she’ll freak if she sees two of us.’

  Anyway, the cemetery was fine, nobody would be there, no chance of being seen. She might not know who he was, but plenty of people round this part of town did. It only took one person to say something careless and she’d never open up.

  Jacko riffed on about rubbish all the way there, told him that when Tom Parker had his way with Karyn he’d broken every rule in the book, which meant his blood relations were tainted by evil. Complained that he could have had a lie-in if he’d known Mikey was going to abandon him. Grumbled that his mother had offered to cook him a slap-up breakfast and he’d turned it down. Told him they should have contacted Woody, Sean and Mark, because Mikey would never dare duck out of a co-op mission.

  By the time he’d pulled the car in to the side of the road near the church and put on the hazards, he was in a right sulk. ‘Just so you know,’ Jacko said, ‘I have a very bad feeling about this.’

  ‘I’m getting that. But trust me, I know what I’m doing.’

  ‘If you were capable of getting information out of this girl, you’d have done it already.’ Jacko checked his watch. ‘I’ll give you an hour. That café we passed – I’ll wait for you there.’

  ‘You’re gonna wait?’ Mikey leaned back and peered at Jacko. His work shirt was hanging over his jeans like always, his jacket, with its strange checked pattern, looked as geeky as ever and the expression on his face was only a fraction away from grumpy. But he was a true mate. Mikey wanted to give him something, but apart from a rollie, he didn’t know what.

  ‘I appreciate that,’ he said. It was all he could think of.

  Jacko smiled reluctantly. ‘Go on, get out the car. I want my breakfast.’

  It felt like a loophole in time opened up as Mikey walked through the wooden gate and into the churchyard. The lemon light seeping over the grass made him feel slightly sick, but this was a good plan.

  It was an amazing plan, in fact.

  Thirteen

  She heard him before she saw him. The click of the gate, the swish of shoes through grass. She opened her eyes, dazed for a moment by the sun’s glare. He was wearing jeans and a white T-shirt, a battered leather jacket. He walked towards her, grinning, sidebent, hands in pockets, maybe shy.

  He said, ‘You’re here.’

  ‘Looks like it.’

  ‘I wasn’t sure you would be.’

  ‘Me either.’

  She tried to sound casual, as if arranging to meet boys in a churchyard was the sort of thing she did every day, but her heart was speeding and her voice sounded young and high. As he stood there looking down at her, she tried to breathe slowly, tried not to blush.

  He looked as if he was trying to work something out. Then he said, ‘It’s good to see you, Ellie.’

  He’d remembered her name. That meant he liked her.

  ‘You want to sit down?’ She tapped the space next to her on the bench.

  He sat on his hands, leaned forward and looked around at the bleached stones and the lopsided graves. He didn’t say anything and she liked that, that he was thinking about things, admiring the place. They were the only living ones here. It was exciting. The wind moved slowly through the grass, the sun made patterns on the graves.

  ‘I didn’t think you were ever going to text,’ he said.

  She shuffled her shoes on the grass, squashing it flat.

  ‘I decided if you didn’t text me by tomorrow, I was going to come round your house.’

  She shot him a glance. ‘Seriously?’

  ‘Yeah. I wanted to see you.’

  He felt absolutely present sitting there looking at her. And that made her feel absolutely present too, as if she’d been hazy before, or only half seen.

  And then his phone rang. It startled them both. He fished it out of his pocket and checked who it was. ‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘I should take this.’

  He walked off a little way, but she could still hear him. She wondered if he knew that. He listened for a minute, then he said, ‘Calm down. It’s OK, it’ll be OK.’

  That’s how boys often sounded when they were talking to girls – as if they were in charge, as if they knew best. Maybe he had a girlfriend.

  He said, ‘It’s probably some religious nut, or someone selling dusters. Don’t open it and they’ll go away.’ He looked over at Ellie. She stared at her shoes and pretended not to be listening. How long was he going to give them? She had all day. All night too, in fact.

  He said, ‘Well, I expect she’ll come out when she gets hungry and at least you get to choose what’s on TV. Listen, I’ll call you later. I can’t think about this now.’ He ended the call, rolled his eyes. ‘Sisters.’

  Well, that was good. Not a girlfriend at least. ‘How many have you got?’

  He stuffed the phone back into his pocket and looked around. He didn’t answer. He appeared not to have heard.

  She stood up suddenly. ‘You want to do something?’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘I know a place we could go.’

  She didn’t wait for a reply, just walked away from him and headed down the slope. She didn’t even turn to see if he was following. The grass was longer here and smelled damp from the river. It was as if the boundaries of the town got smudged and everything became wilder.

  He jogged up behind her. ‘Where are you taking me?’

  ‘Trust me.’

  She didn’t know why she’d said that, but it sounded cool, as if she knew exactly what would happen next. She felt as if she’d been given a break from the real her – as if she could reinvent herself with this boy, say anything, be anyone.

  She led him up a track, towards a cluster of oaks and beeches. They grew close together, their branches cutting the sky. The path became tangled and thin.

  ‘Are you sure about this?’ he said.

  ‘Through here.’

  She picked a daffodil and twirled it. She picked another and threaded it in her hair. A bird flew from a branch and startled her. She watched it flap away until it disappeared against the pale sky, her breath coming quick and shallow.

  The spaces between the trees began to stretch. Sunshine danced again through the branches. The mud path turned to grass as they came out of shadow and into a glade that sloped gently down to the river. On the other side were fields and above them a faultless sky.

  ‘Is this it?’ he said.

  ‘Yeah.’

  She sat on the grass and looked down at the river. He sat next to her. She wondered if he was disappointed, if he’d been expecting a fairground or something.

  ‘I didn’t even know you could get to the river this way,’ he said. ‘It’s pretty.’

  It was. And it was slightly warmer away from the trees. Sitting here with him reminded her of the night of the party, looking across the train track together. She wondered if he was thinking that too, but she didn’t ask him in case he said no.

  ‘
I used to come here a lot,’ she said, ‘when we first moved from London.’

  ‘You used to live in London? My mum’s from there.’ He blinked at her as if he couldn’t believe it. ‘Why would you ever move?’

  ‘My gran and granddad lived round here and they got sick. My mum wanted to be closer to them and the timing suited my dad. He works in property and house prices in London were sky-high, so he sold our house, changed jobs, then bought a house twice as big here when the prices fell. He often does stuff like that. I can never work out if it’s clever or not.’

  ‘Sounds pretty clever to me.’

  ‘We had to leave all our friends behind and then my granddad died as soon as we got here and my gran freaked out and had to go into a nursing home. It all seemed a waste of time after that. My dad was the only happy one.’

  There was something solid about the way he listened to her. It encouraged her to ask the question that had been troubling her for days.

  ‘Why did you knock on the door and pretend to know my brother?’

  It seemed to surprise him, because he actually blushed. ‘What makes you think I was pretending?’

  She laughed. ‘Something to do with you not recognizing each other?’

  He pulled up a handful of grass and chucked it towards the river as if he wanted to feed the water. He pulled up another handful and laid it next to him. ‘I don’t know him, you’re right, but there was a rumour going round that he was having a party and I wanted to blag an invite, that’s all.’

  She was relieved. It was such a simple answer. If he was lying, surely he’d think of something more complicated.

  ‘I don’t mind,’ she said. ‘I thought it was funny. But you do realize I don’t even know your name?’

  Again, he blushed.

  ‘Is it Rumpelstiltskin?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘From the story. You know, the one about that little bloke who gets the queen to guess his name?’

  He shook his head – obviously didn’t know what she was talking about. She felt foolish suddenly. Other girls didn’t talk about this crap. She should have kept her mouth shut.

  She took off her shoes and wiggled her toes on the grass, but stopped when she saw he was looking at her and covered them with her hands. She thought of Stacey and her mate, of all the girls at school, who if they saw her now would be amazed that she’d walked out and texted a boy and brought him to her secret place. It made her feel strong thinking of them.