River of Dreams

by Jan Nash

  “I thought we were the good guys.”

  “Just because someone gets a gift doesn’t mean they always know how to use it well. There will be things you cannot understand, and I can’t teach you enough tonight to protect you. So I just want you to lie down and, if you can, go to sleep in your dream.”

  Finn wanted to throw up, and not just because the tea had tasted so wretched.

  Dreamwalker.

  It was a happy-sounding word, but as far as she could tell, not many happy things came from it.

  FIVE

  It was one thirty in the morning when Rafe pulled up in front of Finn’s house. She’d been at the gym for almost four hours, and she was exhausted. She assumed the rotten-tasting tea had something to do with it.

  “Want me to walk you to the door?”

  “No. I’m fine.”

  “Yeah, you look fine.” She glared at him, and he laughed. “Very fierce.” And then whatever fun they were having was over. “Remember—”

  “I know. Lie down and go to sleep. In the dream. You’ve said it twenty times.”

  “Because it’s important. I’ll pick you up in the morning at eight.”

  “I’ve got school.”

  “Call in sick.”

  “You know, I want to pass my classes so I can get into college and have a life.”

  “I’d like you to have a life, too. That’s why I’m going to pick you up at eight.” It hung there, the implication of what he was saying. He realized he’d gone too far because his tone changed immediately. “Have a friend get the homework for you. This will be like the flu. You’ll be back before you know it.”

  Finn reached for the door handle but didn’t pull it to get out. She turned back to him. “What happens if I don’t just lie down and go to sleep?”

  Rafe slowly unwrapped a piece of sugarless cinnamon gum.

  “Maybe nothing. Maybe you wake up in the morning feeling great and have a delicious bowl of oatmeal for breakfast. Or … maybe, whatever you’re most afraid of grabs you and won’t let go. It squeezes you until you can’t breathe and convinces you everything you care about is going to be destroyed and there’s not a damn thing you can do. Then that demon lets you go and laughs as you cry. And you keep crying, long after you wake up.”

  He put the gum in his mouth and chewed it. The scent of cinnamon filled the car.

  “You’re just trying to make sure I do what you say.”

  “Yep.”

  Finn climbed out of the car. It was really cold outside.

  * * *

  Her grandmother was asleep on the chair next to Noah’s bed. Finn felt bad leaving her there, but she knew if Nana woke up she’d want to talk about Finn’s session with Rafe, and the poor woman wouldn’t be able to go to sleep afterward. Finn grabbed a blanket from the sofa and draped it over Nana before heading to bed.

  Finn didn’t know what to think anymore. Her grandmother clearly believed in whatever this was. But Finn didn’t want to. What she wanted was for Noah to get better and her life to go back to the way it was before, as lame as that might have seemed to everyone else. She wanted to worry about math tests and learning how to parallel park. She didn’t want to worry about whether she’d wake up crying and never be able to stop.

  But what if something was keeping Noah in that coma? What if her brother could be saved and she was the only one who could do it? If there was even a little bit of truth in that, she had to try.

  She pulled off her jeans and T-shirt and put on a ratty pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. In the dreams she’d had so far, she’d been wearing the clothes she’d gone to sleep in. Who knew where she was going tonight, and if she was going to have to lie down, she didn’t want to worry about getting her favorite clothes dirty. Even subconsciously dirty.

  She sat on the bed. Only then did she see Eddie sitting at her door, staring at her.

  “You worried about me? Or just wondering why everyone’s acting so weird?”

  As if to answer, the dog walked over and jumped onto her bed. He waited until she lay down, and then he nestled next to her.

  Finn closed her eyes.

  It was quiet in the house.

  Eddie’s breath was warm against her hand. What does he know that I don’t? Finn thought. She lay there, trying to see the world through Eddie’s eyes. Does he understand what people say? Does he dream? Does he worry about what happens when we die? Finn wondered all these things until she finally fell asleep.

  * * *

  She felt a vibration through her feet. She looked up and saw a light moving out of a tunnel carved into a mountain.

  A train. She was in the middle of a train track. She tried to step over a rail to safety, but it suddenly shot up and was as high as her waist. She went to climb over it again and then heard a dog barking.

  She turned. Eddie stood on the wooden crossties of the track. At least, it looked like Eddie. A tiny, tiny Eddie. Like a toy. He barked again.

  “Come here, boy.”

  He ignored her and lay down.

  Finn looked up. The train was only a few hundred feet away. The whistle blew. In the engine car, someone was waving furiously and pulling on the whistle cord.

  He looked familiar. Who was it?

  Moby Dawson. What was Moby doing in her dream?

  Tiny toy Eddie barked again. She looked at the dog and watched him stand up and then lie down again.

  You’ve got to be kidding, she thought.

  She got down flat, pressed her face against the crossties. She waited for the massive train to crush her. She closed her eyes and tried to block out the roar and rumble of the train until—

  * * *

  It stopped. All she could hear was the wind whistling. Finn opened her eyes.

  She was falling. Around her, lightning lit up the sky. She screamed. Her voice sounded like thunder. Almost immediately, a flash of lightning snaked out from a cloud and slammed into the middle of her forehead, sending a shooting pain through her body.

  She kept falling. The ground grew closer, and then she—

  * * *

  Fell through it to an even darker place. Where was Eddie? What was happening? She was supposed to go to sleep. But how was she supposed to do that? Her hair whipped across her face, stinging her eyes. Why hadn’t Rafe told her this could happen? Why hadn’t he told her what to do? She started to cry. She needed help. She couldn’t do this on her own. She needed someone to—–

  * * *

  She stopped falling.

  There was a hand on Finn’s shoulder, holding her. Six inches in front of her face, white sand. She heard waves crash onto a nearby shore.

  The hand gently flipped her over and laid her on the beach. Towering above her, Finn saw a beautiful Asian woman, maybe the most beautiful person she’d ever seen in her entire life. The woman wore black silk pants and a purple top. Her hair cascaded from a ponytail on the top of her head. Even though it was dark, Finn could see her face clearly because the woman wore a thin, twisted cord around her neck. It was lit by a violet light that reminded Finn of flowers.

  Finn felt underdressed in her sweatpants.

  “I’m Wan,” the woman said. Finn knew Wan wasn’t speaking English, that she was talking in a language Finn had never heard before. Yet Finn understood what she was saying.

  “You’re a Dreamwalker,” Finn said.

  “As are you.”

  Wan pointed to Finn’s neck. Finn reached up, touched a necklace. She saw its bright white light reflected on her hands.

  “I’m not really a Dreamwalker,” Finn replied. “I’m just supposed to lie down and go to sleep. So I don’t hurt myself.”

  Wan nodded, then drew a silver sword from the scabbard slung across her back. The sword’s hilt was encrusted with bright objects. They were moving. Finn looked closer and realized they were bugs—beetles, ladybugs, others she’d never seen before. They looked like precious gems.

  Wan sat on the sand next to Finn and crossed her legs. She rested her sword o
n her lap.

  “What are you doing?” Finn asked. She remembered Rafe’s warning about rogue Dreamwalkers. Though nothing about this woman seemed the least bit dangerous.

  “I am going to make sure you go to sleep. And that nothing keeps you from staying asleep.”

  “You’re helping me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you asked me to.”

  “I did?”

  “Yes. From the very depths of your soul.”

  “Why you?”

  “I simply got here first.” She gestured, and Finn looked to where she pointed. A host of shadowy figures, men and women of what looked to be every race, creed, and color hovered above her. Their essence slowly faded as Finn watched. When they had all gone, Wan put her hand over Finn’s eyes.

  A feeling of safety washed over her, and Finn was asleep before she could say thank you.

  SIX

  Her phone was buzzing. She opened her eyes. It was light outside. Finn reached for her neck, to see if the Lochran was there. It wasn’t. There was nothing to prove that what she dreamed was anything more than the random firing of electricity in her brain. But somehow she knew, just knew, that Wan had watched over her all night.

  Something moved on the bed. Eddie was staring at her. “I’m in one piece,” Finn told him. And with that, he hopped off the bed and headed down the hall to take his place by Noah’s bed. Finn reached for the phone. The phone buzzed again.

  She reached over and saw a text from Jed. Frzing in front of my house. Where R U?

  Finn checked the time. She was way late. She picked up the phone and then remembered that Rafe was coming to get her. She wasn’t going to school today.

  She typed: Sick. Sorry. HMWK plz.

  The phone buzzed again. Puke?

  Jed loved the details of any infirmity. If only he would focus on his grades, he would be a great doctor.

  No puke, she wrote. Fever. Need …

  She was about to type “sleep,” but sleep was the last thing she wanted. She backed up her cursor and watched the d, e, e, and n disappear. She pushed Send as she threw her feet over the side of the bed.

  She smelled bacon. Nana was already up.

  Finn pushed herself out of bed and headed to the kitchen. “Morning, Nana.”

  “Why didn’t you wake me when you got in?”

  “You deserved a good night’s sleep.”

  Nana smiled. “I woke up at three when my head bobbed.”

  “Was I sleeping peacefully the forty times you checked on me?”

  Nana smiled and started to pull bacon from the pan and put it on a piece of paper towel. “Breakfast will be ready soon.”

  “I’m running late.”

  “I called Rafe and told him you were still asleep. We’re supposed to let him know when you’re dressed.” It took Nana a long time to ask the question that Finn knew was coming. “How did it go?”

  “I still don’t like him, but I did what you asked. I stayed. Then when I came home, I did what he told me.”

  “Which was what?”

  “Nothing. I lay down in my dream, and a woman with a sword watched me all night.”

  Nana’s eyebrows raised just a touch, but she didn’t ask more questions. Instead she said, “I finally reached your mother. A storm blew up in the North Sea. She’s trapped for a couple of days.”

  Finn knew there was more to the conversation than that, but before she could ask, Nana said, “And the nurse was here first thing. She agreed with us about Noah’s breathing. She’s going to have the doctor order him an antibiotic, just in case. Maybe you have medical school in your future.”

  “You obviously don’t remember my grade in freshman biology.”

  Nana smiled. It was more sad than happy.

  Finn wanted to hug her but was afraid it would seem like too big a deal if she did. “I’m going to go say good morning.”

  * * *

  Finn held Noah’s hand in hers. It always surprised her how soft his skin was. The nurses said they’d never had a comatose patient with healthier skin. No doubt it was the herb goo Nana rubbed on him every day.

  All the times she’d sat at his bedside—talked to him, studied with him, taken care of him—she’d never thought about his being anywhere but in this bed.

  But now … Finn knew he was someplace else.

  He was lost in a world that was as big and crazy as her town was small and ordinary. Wherever he was, he was reaching out to her. And the effort might be killing him. If she didn’t hurry, he might never come back.

  Finn started to cry. She fought the urge to run out of the room to hide her tears.

  She had no idea where he was or how to find him. She just knew that she had to. She pulled her brother’s hand to her lips and kissed it.

  “Hang in there, Noah,” she whispered. “I’m coming to get you.”

  SEVEN

  Rafe was waiting in the car when Finn stepped outside. A brisk breeze blew the exhaust in little swirls around his tailpipe.

  Finn opened the door and climbed in. He looked at her.

  “A beautiful woman caught me as I was plummeting through space and then put me to sleep, promising to use her giant bug-covered sword to keep anyone from bothering me.”

  Rafe burst out laughing.

  “Are you laughing because that’s funny or because it’s ridiculous?”

  “There’s nothing ridiculous about dreams, Finn. Nothing at all.”

  He started the car.

  It was only when they’d driven halfway across town that Finn realized he hadn’t really answered her question.

  * * *

  There were several people working out in the gym when they arrived. Rafe gave a couple of them instructions as he walked by: how to turn their torso to add power to their punches, a suggestion for different footwork. It seemed like he knew what he was talking about, or at least had convinced these people he did.

  They finally made their way to the bottom of the stairs.

  “Honestly, what’s with the stairs?”

  Rafe didn’t answer, just headed up. Finn followed, putting her feet where he’d put his. She almost bumped into him when he stopped midway.

  “There are a million ways to come up these stairs safely. Every one of them requires focus. You can’t storm up in anger, and only the rarest of people could run up without killing themselves.”

  “So it’s a security system?”

  “In a manner of speaking.”

  “Who do you need protection from?”

  “I don’t know, but there’s a reason your friend from last night carried a bug-covered sword.”

  When they got into his room, Rafe peeled off his coat and hung it over a set of antlers that were nailed to the wall by the door. Finn didn’t remember them from last night, and they seemed wildly out of place. He crossed to the table, where two ceramic mugs sat next to a leather-bound book. He gestured for Finn to take a seat next to him and handed her one of the mugs.

  “Little early in the day for sleep-inducing tea, isn’t it?”

  “It’s water. Important to stay hydrated.”

  Was he joking? She took a sip. It was water.

  Rafe pushed the leather-bound book toward her. “That’s your homework.”

  Finn recognized the engraving of an animal trapped in a tangle of vines on the spine. She’d seen the book in Noah’s room. She flipped through a few pages. They were covered with old-fashioned script and drawings of fantastical creatures and maps.

  “What does a dusty book have to do with anything?”

  “It’s the journal of Sydney Norwich, an eighteenth-century British mystic. It’s the best explanation of Dreamwalking I’ve ever found. I think there are things in here that might help you.”

  “I’ve got enough homework for school.”

  Rafe shifted toward her just a little bit. Finn realized he’d done it a couple of times last night, too. She glanced at his right hand. It was clenched. The sk
in on the knuckles was tight. He was angry. Finn was about to take a step back when he took a breath. She watched his fingers uncurl.

  “Noah read every book I gave him,” Rafe spat out. “He did every exercise, drank every mug of crap I pushed his way. He was smart, agile, and intuitive. If you’re going to have a rat’s ass chance of helping him, you need to be better than he was. And so far, you’re not.”

  “Okay, okay,” Finn said, trying to pacify him.

  It didn’t work. He leaned close. She could feel his breath on her cheek. “When you’re dreaming, your job is to lie down, until I say you can do something else. And when we’re working, your job is to do what I ask. Got it?”

  Finn shrugged, and apparently Rafe took the gesture for consent, because he stood up and moved to the center of the room.

  Finn wanted to tell him to piss off, but she followed him instead.

  He raised his hands into a boxing stance. “Arms up.”

  Finn stared at him. “Just so you know, I’m going to listen. I’d just like to know why we’re doing what we’re doing.”

  “The woman in your dream last night. Big sword?”

  “Yep.”

  “You think she was carrying it because it matched her shoes and purse? No. It’s because you never know what a dream will bring. You have to be ready. You must honor the logic of the dream and be prepared for anything … everything. You might have to box, wrestle, rock climb…”

  “Rock climb?” she asked. “I can barely text and walk at the same time.”

  “Dreams aren’t like this world, Finn. Nobody can fly in this reality, but everyone can fly in their dreams. If you can imagine something, you can do it in the dream space, even if you could never do it in life. I need to introduce you to things so you can use them when you need them. We are going to practice so you can feel more confident. And all of this is about mastering the one thing you must master in order to survive.”