Vik (Shot Callers Book 2)
Page 38
My head pounded, and I struggled to breathe right, but I managed a quiet and heartfelt, “I will love you, forever and always.”
“Forever and always” was his soft response, then his lips covered my own. I pressed into him, standing on my tiptoes and sliding my hands from his shoulders, up and around his neck, deepening our connection. He breathed life back into me. With our faces close and our bodies closer, an odd feeling went through me.
I fought for so long. I fought so hard. Needing control in situations that scared me, like possibly loving a man who could never return the sentiment.
But I wasn’t scared today.
In fact, nothing had ever felt better than handing my ribbon-wrapped heart to Viktor Nikulin.
This felt right. I was exactly where I needed to be.
In the arms of a man who loved me more than he ever found a way to put into words.
36
Nastasia
Pregnancy announcements were meant to be fun. Exciting. People should have been ecstatic by the news. Friends were meant to jump up and down with joy, hold my hands, and cry with happiness. At least, that’s what every Hallmark movie had taught me.
I guess I felt short-changed.
I just couldn’t understand why mine felt so awkward.
My brothers already knew, and so did Anika, and when Vik and I decided to gather everyone into our home—oh my God… our home. I was still getting used to that—and make it known that we were having a child together, it went a little something like this.
I glanced around the room, nervous, subconsciously dressing like a matron in a simple, high-necked dress with zero embellishments, like the people here wouldn’t know Vik had rearranged my guts to get me in the position I was currently in. Laredo had brought all of his boys, and although a handful of them already knew, it was more of a formal declaration so that nobody felt left out. And when we stood in front of the group of people we considered not just friends but family, discomfort settled in my belly as I began, my focus solely on the little woman standing beside Lev, looking at us both with a small smile that showed her curiosity.
I cleared my throat lightly and pressed closer to Vik’s side, seeking comfort. His hand came to rest on my hip, and I peered up at him with a soft smile. He bent down to press a long, gentle kiss to my forehead. And I finally felt ready. “Firstly, we want to thank you all. For your friendship. For your help in seeing me home safely.”
“We’re grateful,” Vik cut in, and when I glanced up at him, I noticed he had spoken directly to Philippe.
Philippe looked down at Vik’s hand on my hip a long moment before his shoulders slumped. Although it irked him, he lifted his glass in salute.
And my heart softened.
I was thankful for Philippe, and I just knew he would one day find a woman who overshadowed whatever he felt for me. When that day came, I would welcome her with open arms and a tender smile, knowing whoever he chose would be worthy.
“The experience,” I went on, “definitely put things in perspective for us.” Vik’s lips pressed against my crown, and the hand on my hip slid across my stomach, where he splayed his fingers over my nonexistent bump. My chest ached, and I fell harder than I’d ever fallen before. “It’s been a rocky road.” I placed my hand over his, and together, we held our baby. “Vik and I have decided to make it official. We’re tired of fighting each other, fighting the way we feel.”
They waited with bated breath.
“We’re getting married.” Vik grinned down at me, and all I saw was love and gentleness in his usually hard gaze.
Feminine gasps filled the room a moment before cheers and applause sounded around us. They faded away to nothing when Vik brought his smiling mouth down on mine and kissed me slowly, sweetly.
And in a room of twenty, Vik only had eyes for me.
When his full mouth pulled away from mine, my chest tightened from the loss. As if he knew exactly what I was feeling, he kept his face close, pecked my lips once more, and uttered a barely audible, “You ready?”
I swallowed hard and nodded.
He stole another kiss before straightening and saying, “We have one more announcement to make.”
And as the chatter died down, my heart began to race.
My voice shook as I said the words out loud, “I’m pregnant.”
And then, silence.
A long minute of quiet passed before a stunned-looking Cora let out a fairly unladylike, “Dude!”
At the very same time, Mina’s expression fell. She frowned and said, “No, you’re not.” She turned to Cora and said, “She’s not pregnant.” She spun to look at me with sheer determination. “You’re not.”
She sounded so betrayed that when my heart snapped in two, I heard the mental sound of glass splintering.
Apprehensive, I stepped forward. “Mina…”
The way I said it, with careful consideration and caution, had her eyes widening in shock. The breath she was holding was audibly exhaled, and then she said quietly, “Oh my God, you are.”
At the misery she wore, my heart picked up pace, and the words I spoke came out soft and apologetic. “We didn’t plan this.”
Lost in her thoughts, she nodded slowly, unconsciously, looking past me into the wall by my head.
I didn’t know what to say as I watched the flurry of expressions sweep over her sweet face.
Sadness. Anger. Distress. And finally, anguish.
Mina lowered her face, her shoulders shaking as she started crying, and my gut sank. Lev came forward and placed a hand on his wife’s shoulder. She let out a wobbly, “It’s fine. I’m okay. I’m happy.” She repeated herself, but if came out dismal. “I’m happy.”
Her small body shook with silent sobs, and the entire room of people kept silent, witnessing her grief unfold. A minute later, she fled, running out the front door, leaving it open as she escaped the scrutiny of watchful eyes. I moved to follow, but Lev caught me.
“Let me” was what he said as he gently squeezed my arm. His kind eyes met mine, and although his words didn’t sound very apologetic, I knew what he said taxed him. “I’m sorry we ruined your party.” Another light squeeze. He then followed his wife out the door.
My gaze swept the room. All eyes were on me. And just when I thought to abandon ship and sneak back upstairs, someone cleared their throat, catching my attention.
“A toast.” Uncle Laredo raised his glass. “To the happy couple.”
A murmur of approval went through the space, and one by one, everyone lifted their glass in salute.
I smiled appreciatively, lifting my own glass of sparkling apple juice in thanks, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Mina.
I should have told her in private. I should have offered her some warning. I should have thought about how this would affect her. But I didn’t.
Guilt ate at me.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t expect a reaction. I suppose I just hoped for more than the one I got.
My gut sank.
The whole scene left me feeling sad and thoughtless, even inconsiderate for merely being happy when she felt so low. Even after everyone took turns coming to congratulate us, even after Vik’s parents welcomed me to their family with hugs and kisses and a love unmatched, I never really recovered. My mood was shot.
And the next morning, Mina returned with her tail between her legs.
The doorbell rang, and I opened it to find my sister-in-law holding a clearly homemade cake. I could see it was chocolate, but the buttercream looked weirdly chunky, and the singular piped word on it was runny and bled into the frosting.
I think it said Congratulations, but even with 20/20 vision, I couldn’t be sure.
Wide-eyed, she nervously moved from foot to foot, then rushed out, “I iced it when it was hot.” God. She looked positively miserable. Tears filled her eyes, and her lips quivered as she blinked them away and let out a whining, high-pitched, “Damn it. Even when I want to apologize, I screw it up.”
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br /> Yes, she sort of wrecked my night. Yeah, it was a shitty thing to do. But, God help her, I loved this bitch like she was my own blood, and now, knowing I was pregnant, I thought about how it would feel to try and try and try some more and be denied the child you wanted so badly.
My heart went out to her. It sucked.
But I wouldn’t apologize for my excitement.
With a sad smile, I moved closer, and Mina met me halfway. We embraced, and the second her slender arm snaked around me, my throat tightened. I hugged her close, sighed, then pressed a loving kiss to her cheek.
“I am so sorry,” she wept, trembling with heavy remorse.
I couldn’t help myself. I snorted. “You made a scene and ran out like a bad ’80s movie.”
“I know,” she moaned as though the thought mortified her. “What is wrong with me?”
I snuffled out a quiet laugh. “I’m surprised you didn’t rush the tray of champagne as you went.”
She groaned out loud but nuzzled her face into my shoulder, smiling into my skin. “Would you stop? I already feel like a jerk.”
We held each other a long minute before my arm loosened on her, and I stepped back to look at her. Her expression was entirely contrite.
I loved this woman. She wore her heart on her sleeve. Everyone was entitled to a bad day.
I rolled my eyes, softening it with a smile. “I’ll be honest. Your reaction was about as dramatic as Vik’s.”
“Really?” She sounded surprised.
I scoffed, moving back to hold the door open, letting her in. “You have no idea.”
“You can tell me about it over cake.” She headed for the kitchen, and I followed, taking a seat at the table as Mina brought over plates.
She cut into the cake, and I swear to God, it squeaked.
As she placed my slice down in front of me, I inspected it. It looked okay. I kind of wanted to lean down and smell it, but Mina appeared so proud of herself that I just couldn’t do it. She watched me closely with such optimism in her eyes that I went for it. I stabbed a small piece of cake, brought it up, and peered at it a moment, then placed it into my mouth, and chewed slowly.
When I didn’t spit it out immediately, Mina straightened and smiled.
And then I stopped chewing.
Her shoulders fell, her lips thinned, and she let out a weary-sounding, “It’s bad, isn’t it?”
I spoke around the gritty-textured, bitter sand cake. “Disgusting.”
Thankfully, she handed me a napkin to spit it into, and because she was a glutton for punishment, she forked a piece of the cake and brought it to her mouth. A myriad of emotions went through her as she chewed. First, shock, then confusion, and finally, revulsion.
“Ew.” The quiet word left her pulled-down mouth before she spat the cake into her napkin. “I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I followed the instructions,” she swore.
I asked warily, “Were they in Danish?”
She glared at me, then drew out her response. “No, smartass.” I laughed, and after she got over herself, her lips twitched. But as quickly as it came, it went, and then she was miserable again. “I really am sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“No.” She let out a bitter laugh. “It isn’t. I…” She looked like she was having a hard time admitting what she was about to. “I was jealous.” She shrugged resolutely. “I was jealous, and I flipped out.”
Right at that moment, Vik strolled into the kitchen, sleep worn and looking delicious in black low-hanging pajama pants. “Oh, wifey. I get it. You wanted to be the one to bear my baby. Who wouldn’t be jealous?”
Mina rolled her eyes. I snuffled out a laugh, and when he approached from behind, he placed his hand on my shoulders, squeezing. I felt his lips at the crown of my head as he kissed me and whispered, “Morning, kiska.”
And it was so familiar, so domestic, that I prayed every morning would be like this one.
Mina’s expression turned gooey. When she spoke, it was full of emotion. “I am so happy for you guys. It’s about time.”
Vik rounded the table, bent at the waist, and kissed her temple. She lifted her hand to cup his cheek lovingly, and my heart thawed considerably.
This was what I wanted. This life. This family. Nothing more or less. I was happy with what I’d been gifted.
As Vik made his way toward the coffee machine, Mina slid her hand out across the table. I took it, curled my fingers around hers, and squeezed.
Her eyes spoke clearly. “I love you.”
My own returned, “Love you more.”
We smiled at each other with an unspoken understanding.
And then, ruining our beautiful moment, Vik sputtered and spat into the sink, wheezing out a mildly disturbed, “Mina, what the fuck is in this cake?”
The week that followed had me reevaluating my entire life.
This baby changed things. I could no longer live the life I had previously. Vik and I discussed it at length, and we both agreed alterations had to be made. Before I even approached Sasha, I silently mourned my old life.
Who could blame me?
Going from dressing in lingerie at work so men could get their rocks off, to diapers and baby bouncers was a big change.
I knocked on the office door and poked my head in. He glanced up from his paperwork, looked at me a moment, then frowned back down at his work. “Nastasia. What can I do for you?”
Okay. Just like we discussed. Band-Aid maneuver. Hard and fast.
“I quit.”
Slowly, he placed down the papers, turned to face me fully, and his mouth pulled down in a deep frown. “Come again?”
Surprise!
His glare was spectacular. One only Sasha could pull off and still look as handsome as he did.
But he clearly expected an explanation. So, I gave him one. “I can’t do it anymore, Sash. The late nights. The obscure hours.” I placed a hand on my stomach. “It’s not good for the little peanut.” My brow quirked. “And, let’s be honest, even the seediest of men aren’t going to want to see a pregnant lady in her delicates, slinging drinks.”
My brother’s face softened a notch, as did his tone. He stared at me a minute before he asked, “And what do you plan on doing for work?”
See. That was the thing.
“Well.” I took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly as I took the empty seat in front of his desk. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Even though I can’t manage the bar anymore, I still want to be part of Bleeding Hearts. It’s our baby. It’s home. I can’t see a life not being involved somehow.”
Sasha leaned back in his chair. “What did you have in mind?”
Here goes. “How would you feel about me taking over the bookkeeping?”
And Sasha frowned. “What do you know about managing books?”
His response was so skeptical, so doubting, that it took everything I had not to pick up the bowl of mints sitting at the edge of the desk and throw it at him. I spoke calmly, even though my fingers flexed. “Lev suggested I take a course a few years back, and I did. I liked it, so I took another, and another. So far, I’ve got certificates in bookkeeping, office management, and accounting.”
I watched in delight as my brother’s brows rose very, very slowly. And I smiled triumphantly.
Sasha narrowed his eyes. “Convenient.”
“Very,” I agreed, thanking the heavens that Lev was able to see into the future long before I had.
He looked at me. I blinked at him. I could see him weighing up the pros and cons, listing them in his mind meticulously, and then, finally, his shoulders slumped as he gave in. “If Lev is willing to hand over the reins, ease you in, I suppose I don’t have any reason to complain.”
No way.
Great. This was great!
But I had to address the elephant in the room. I knew why he hesitated, and because of that reason, I asked, “And Roam?”
Sasha’s posture turned severe. “What about Roam?”r />
Oh, brother mine.
When would he realize I wasn’t a little girl anymore? I was a smart woman and saw more than what the eye took in. The fact was, there were only two ways to be rid of a man like Roam. The first was death. And seeing as Roam wasn’t yet deceased, it led me to the conclusion that Sasha had offered Roam a deal in exchange for my release and Vik’s freedom.
Sure, it was just a theory, but it was a solid one. I tested the waters. “Is there anything I need to know about the business you’ve committed yourself to? Any changes to the books I need to make to have the money in versus money out seem authentic?”
Money laundering was messy business. Often, two sets of books needed to be kept.
One legit and one that merely appeared legit.
My brother stared at me for a long moment. He stared hard. And just like that, he knew that I knew he was in business with the psychopath who stole me away. Whether my knowing made him anxious or not, I couldn’t tell. I rarely knew what Sasha was thinking. Even less of what he felt. He was an inflexible man with a hard heart.
It felt like hours, when in reality, only a minute passed. Then, he simply replied, “No. I’ll take care of it myself.”
My heart beat harder, but I didn’t let it show.
Theory confirmed.
Okay. Good. “No problem.” I stood and made to leave, but before I walked out, I paused by the door. “If I can make a suggestion…” His head tilted, and his brow rose in permission, so I shoot my shot. “Anika would make a really good bar manager. She’s punctual, diplomatic, and tactful. She’s great at conflict management. She’s organized and knows the system already. I know she could use the money.” I paused on that noteworthy fact before adding, “I think the position would give her a much-needed distraction. Keep her busy, you know.”