The English Proposal: Christian Victorian Era Historical (Window to the Heart Saga Trilogy Book 1)
Page 10
She walked past Margaret and headed for the side door. She stopped and then pivoted for a moment, adding, “I am a servant’s daughter, my lady, and that is what I will always be. No introduction to society will ever change that.”
“If I thought that you truly believed that, then I would let it be, but I know that you must desperately want to be a part of this family or you would have returned to your boarding school. You stayed around here in hopes of making an official bond with your brother, and I am going to make it my ambition to see that it happens.”
Chapter 12
Wanting some time with Charlie, Margaret chose to go for a ride. Expertly gripping the reins, Margaret allowed the horse to meander along one of the trails. She always thought more clearly when she was riding.
Catherine already had all the training needed in the areas of manners, knowing protocol and such, but Margaret needed to teach her how to take her place in society as a titled lady since she had never been to finishing school. This would be no easy feat. She would have to teach her how to act in any social setting, as well as how to dance, dress, and present herself as if she had always been part of the titled.
Unfortunately, it was quite a challenge to change the mind of someone who considered themselves inferior. But Margaret was determined to do it, and she knew she could.
Deciding not to tell Henry of her plans had posed difficult, but Margaret knew once he saw the remarkable changes in his sister, he would not be able to say no to introducing her into society.
Margaret saw a grove of trees just up ahead and slowly brought Charlie to a halt. She dismounted and looked around. No one was in sight. Good. She quickly undid the top few buttons of her ivory blouse and walked over to a nearby patch of wild flowers. She picked a few and put them throughout her hair.
Grateful that she was able to get away by herself for a few moments, she had been surprised that Henry had said she could go. But then, he had been preoccupied with his business issues, so he really was not paying attention when he said it was all right. She had left as fast as she could so he could not change his mind.
Needing to sort out some of the feelings and thoughts that were racing through her mind about her own life, she contemplated how her life had changed. Margaret used to be so certain about what she wanted, but since Richard entered her life, everything had been turned upside down. The more time she spent married to Henry, the more she began to see her father’s point and realize that Henry was a good husband. He was completely devoted to her, putting her above everything else in his life. But realizing this put her in turmoil, because how could she have thought so certainly that she would only love Richard for the rest of her life and now realize that she had feelings—real, true feelings—for Henry as well? Was she falling in love with Henry? She was not sure.
She was humming to herself lightly as she pondered her feelings when she heard something from behind. Quickly turning around, she found Richard standing a few yards behind her.
Gasping, first in surprise, then shock, she smiled awkwardly at the duke. “I did not expect to see you after the wedding.”
He looked at her a few moments without saying or doing anything. Then he circled her, stopping a few feet in front. “Indeed.” He narrowed his eyes. “Something has changed in you, little one.”
She did not say anything but continued to watch him.
“What are you doing out here alone?”
“I decided to go for a ride today.”
Spitting out the words, Richard said, “You mean to tell me that your husband actually allowed you out of his sight?”
As he walked towards her, Margaret recognized the frustrated look on his face. The duke halted just within arm’s length, reached out, and took a hold of her. “I know if you were my wife, I would never let you out of mine.”
Richard looked even worse than he had on her wedding day. It appeared as if he had not slept since that day. His face was drawn, his hair and clothes disheveled, and he smelt faintly of alcohol.
She averted her eyes and replied, “He was quite busy when I left. I do not think he even noticed I had gone.”
He sighed and shook his head, saying sarcastically, “It is such a shame that he does not pay more attention to you.” Richard brushed the side of her face with his hand as he whispered in a steely voice, “I have been waiting for you to leave his estate so I could talk to you alone.”
“Why? What is it that you wish to discuss with me? I thought I made it perfectly clear where I stood the last time we spoke.”
“What is it that I wish to discuss, you ask? Let me see… perhaps that I am going crazy and it is due to you.” His frustration was audible. “I pace my study, hour after hour, trying to forget about you, but I cannot get you off my mind. Look what you have done to me.” He wildly gestured at his appearance. “I know now that you have traded me in for another and no longer want me.”
She shook her head in denial. “No, Richard, it is not like that at all. You have no idea what I have gone through.”
Uttering every word pointedly, slicing through her with the precision of a surgeon, he said, “You? What you have gone through? Do you know how I stay up all night every night since you left me standing there at the church to marry him? And when I do try to sleep from sheer exhaustion, I toss and turn, then scream with rage and pain at the thought of him having you. My servants think that I am going mad. Part of me thinks that they are right. It torments me, Margaret, the thought of him having what should be mine.”
Trying to pull away because his hands were digging into her skin, she winced, saying, “Let me go. You are hurting me.”
“No, you enchantress, I will not let you go. You have besotted me, and I cannot even function because of how you haunt my thoughts, my memories, my dreams. I want so badly to hold you again, and feel you quiver beneath my touch. But he has you. My God, he has those rights, and I am left with nothing.” He stared down into her eyes for a moment. “But I will taste you, my sweet.” Dipping down until she could feel his breath play across her face, he said, “Right now is as good a time as any.”
She yanked free and said, with more force than before, “Let go. I mean it. I think you are bruising me.”
Mockingly, he gave her a sardonic smile. “You used to like it when I held you close. Ah, but let me guess. You have had a change of heart and no longer love me. Instead, you are completely devoted to your new husband and now want nothing to do with me.”
Her eyes rounded and she clamored in her own defense. “You speak of what you do not know, my lord.”
Laughing with scorn, he grabbed her roughly, pulling her towards him again. “So, now it is ‘my lord.’ You cannot even call me by my given name.”
He started to brush light kisses over her face and neck, but she was done letting him try to use her desires against her. She put up her hands and pushed hard against his chest.
Once free, she stated firmly, “I am sorry but this is, at an overwhelming rate, becoming a very compromising position for me.”
Glaring at her, he railed, “So, you have discarded your love for me just like that. What a fickle girl you are, my dear.”
She shook her head in rebuff. “That is not how it is, Richard.”
He once more pulled her back into his arms. “Then show me. Show me that you still love me.”
And with that, he brutally forced his lips upon hers. The kiss felt more like a punishment than an indication of love. She tried to pull away, but he was physically stronger.
In between breaths, she begged him, “Please… let me… go. I… cannot… do this!”
When her pleas did not dissuade the duke’s harsh abusive behavior, she made an effort to turn her head to the side so that he could not reach her mouth anymore. But it was as if the more she squirmed, the further heightened his desire became and the more brutal he made the kiss.
He continued to kiss her despite her protests when a voice interrupted, saying, “Witherton, I think it best if you
release my wife and step away from her.”
The duke slowly, as if he had nothing better to do, let her go and stepped back. With a bored voice, he said, “Hello, Rolantry. What brings you out this way? Checking up on your wife, are you?”
Coming out of the forest, Henry walked over to where they stood. He smiled with fake friendliness. “Why, I came to meet my wife, of course. I promised her that as soon as I was done with my work I would come join her for a dip in the lake. Thank you, Your Grace, for keeping my wife company, but she has an escort now and your ‘services’ are no longer needed.”
Worried that Henry thought she planned to meet Richard here, she hoped he realized that it was all the duke’s doing.
Witherton eyes grew wide in surprise, and then he glanced at Margaret with a quick look of disgust.
Henry looked at his wife, saying with forced levity, “I am sorry, my love, that I am late, but you know how my business matters sometimes take longer than I expect.” He turned back to face the duke, smiled, and said, “Now, if you will excuse us, we do not have much time before we need to be back for our midday meal.”
The duke bowed in mock respect and replied derisively, “By all means, then, do not let me keep you waiting.”
With that he turned and walked over to his horse and, within moments, galloped out of sight.
Henry walked over to where Margaret was standing. He looked her up and down and then asked, “Well, are you all right?”
She nodded without answering, still rubbing her bruised arm, trying to forget how it felt to have the duke hurt her the way he had.
“What was he doing here with you, anyhow?”
She looked at him. “He said that he had been waiting for me to leave the grounds so that he could talk to me. He found me out here while I was picking wildflowers.”
Glancing at the flowers that were in disarray in her hair, he stated, “I can see that.” He plucked one from her hair and rubbed a petal between his fingers.
“I was about to go back to Brookehaven when he startled me from behind.”
“Then perhaps you should not go riding by yourself again.”
She was about to balk at the idea and argue but thought better of it. “Perhaps you are right,” she replied instead. Then, as Margaret thought about the conversation that had passed between her husband and the duke, she quickly asked, “What was all that nonsense about us going for a swim in the lake? I did not even know there was a lake on your estate.”
He smiled at her. “I was weeding out a weasel, my dear, if you must know. And if you are curious about my lake, then I suggest you take me up on my offer and go swimming with me.”
Margaret laughed, relieved that Henry was ready to move on and not allow the duke to ruin the progress they had made in their relationship. She replied, “All right, Henry, take me to your lake. But know I only come due to the fact that my curiosity has gotten the better of me.”
“You will not regret it.”
Chapter 13
The lake was breathtaking. She had never seen a place as beautiful as this. It was crystal clear, surrounded by majestic weeping willow trees and beds of wildflowers in every color imaginable. She turned around to face her husband and smiled.
“It is magnificent, Henry! I cannot believe that you have never shown this to me before.”
He shrugged. “I wanted to save it for when we married. I wanted the first time you saw it to be special because it is a special place for me. I have never taken anyone here until now. This is my place, and now it is ours.”
Looking up into his eyes, she said, “I like that. Our place.”
Margaret took off her shoes and stockings to dip her toes in the water. “It feels refreshing, Henry.”
“I am pleased you think so. Now get out of those clothes so we can go for a dip.”
Her eyes narrowed in disbelief. “You are serious? You really want to swim?” She shook her head. “I do not think so, Henry. I shall never swim in this lake, or in any other lake for that matter.”
Henry smiled impishly. “What can a little swim in your shift harm?.”
Avoiding his question, she started to walk towards her horse. “We had better be on our way so we can get back for the midday meal.”
Grabbing her arm, he pulled her back. “I do not think so, my dear. You will swim with me one way or another.”
Margaret smacked his hand away. “Whatever do you mean?”
Grinning with a chuckle, he said, “Simply that if you do not go in willingly, I will throw you in.”
“You would not dare!”
He raised an eyebrow. “You think not, do you? I will have you know that I very well intend to carry out my threat.” He quickly grabbed her around the waist.
She pulled free from his grasp and darted behind a tree, looking around as she tried to plan an escape route.
“These games are only delaying the inevitable. I will win, my lovely Margaret. I am bigger, faster, and much, much more determined than you.”
“Henry, imagine what the servants will think if I come home in wet clothes. They will speculate about what occurred between us… and you know how I despise servants gossiping about me.”
“Well, if you do it my way, then your hair can dry and your clothes will not get wet. But if you are stubborn, like you usually are, then I guess the servants will just have to wonder….”
Stepping out from behind the tree, she glanced at where her horse stood and pressed her lips together tightly. It was only a few feet. She could make it if she sprinted right now.
But, as if Henry read her mind, he stepped in front of her escape route. “Oh, no you do not. You are not getting away that easily.”
She tried to get around him. “This is insane, Henry. It is getting late and we should be heading back.”
He grabbed her and asked, “Well, which is it going to be? Are you going to cooperate, or am I going to have to throw you in?”
“You can swim if you like, but I am going home.” She tried to push past him, but before she knew what was happening, he swung her up and over his shoulder as she kicked and pounded on his back. “Let me down, Henry! This is absurd. Oh, you… you beast. Let me down this instant.” She was so intent on making him let her go that she barely recognized that, all of a sudden, she was in midair. Then she was submerged in water and sinking towards the bottom of the lake.
She kicked up to get some air as her blouse, thick pants, and underclothes began to bunch up on her. Realizing she could not swim freely with them on, she removed her outer layers in a hurry and held them in one hand as she treaded water.
Margaret glanced up at the shoreline to find Henry standing on the banks in his undergarments.
Ignoring his handsome physique, she yelled at him, “What are you doing just standing there? I could have drowned, you know. And you were not even going to help me.”
Looking amused, he laughed. “I was quite sure you could manage to take care of yourself and rectify the situation. And look, you did.”
With that, he jumped into the water and joined her. “You see I told you, either way, you were going to be swimming with me.” He splashed some water at her and finished, “Now I suppose you will just have to live with the servants’ gossip.”
He grabbed her wet clothes from her hands and threw them onto the bank next to her stockings and shoes.
“Oh, you.” She lunged at him, but he quickly darted away.
“You should know better than to let your temper fly with me.” And with that, he grabbed her and pulled her close. “I love you, Margaret. Tell me you love me too.”
She tried to pull away but stopped struggling when she realized she could not get free. Then she replied, “You are my best friend, Henry. I have always loved you.”
“That is not what I meant and you know it. I want you to tell me you are in love with me.”
“I cannot. Please, let this be enough.”
He stared at her with seriousness and said, “Then I guess I wil
l just have to do a little more convincing.”
Henry leaned across the water and took possession of her mouth. Margaret was not really prepared for the onslaught of his kiss. It was unlike any of the other kisses they had ever shared before. It was much more demanding and possessive, but it also evoked stronger, more potent emotions in her that did exactly what he said they would. By the time he was ending the kiss, she realized that she did not mind the circumstances at all.
As they lay on a bed of wildflowers and moss, Margaret thought of how everything was shifting in her life.
A few days ago, she never would have believed that she could have been happy with anyone but Richard. And here she was, lying next to Henry and as content as could be. Truth be told, she was enormously satisfied.
She had a husband, a new sister, a beautiful manor, and all the money any one person could ever want. But yet there was a part of her that was empty, and it was that part that was keeping her from loving Henry fully.
Unable to shake the feeling something was missing, Margaret could not quite pinpoint what she lacked. She was quite certain that it was not Richard or anything else she could name, but she felt it nevertheless.
Leaning up on one elbow, she looked over at Henry. He was dozing off with a faint smile on his face. She was glad that she could make him happy. He deserved to be, but she could not help but feel a little selfish by wanting to be completely happy herself.
Margaret touched the side of his face with her hand and brushed away his thick blond hair.
She did not fully understand these new emotions that she was feeling for Henry. She knew they were wonderful, but they also scared her. She lost all control when she felt them, and Margaret hated being out of control.
So much of her life was decided for her that the one thing she had always been able to control were her feelings and how she showed them. But now, when Henry kissed her the way he had in the lake, she lost her perfectly constructed demeanor. She did not know how to handle it. Perhaps it was time that she let go and stopped trying to bottle it all up.