Ashes

by Lauralana Dunne

  “And that,” he boomed, loudly enough for everyone around them to hear, “is how Angor learns to protect its people!” He sounded proud, but seemed to Phoenix that he was scowling at both her and the boy left next to her. Looking around the yard, she realized that he was the last outsider remaining.

  A loud cheering followed his words. The spectators around them burst into furious applause, many of them moving forward to congratulate those who had taken part.

  The boy next to her grinned. Impetuously, he brushed back his sweaty hair and held out a palm in greeting. The movement left his face unobstructed, and Phoenix was caught short by the sight of two glinting amber eyes that glowed against his tan skin. “Alexandri,” he told her.

  “Phoenix,” she replied, holding out her own palm in return.

  “My Lady,” he said, somewhat formally. She realized the humor in his tone, as she had just completed what noble-girls would have never attempted, and she couldn’t help but grin in return. Nonetheless, he bowed to her courteously.

  “Apprentice,” she corrected, pointing to the stripes on her sleeves.

  “My Lady Apprentice,” he amended, still in a bowing position. His words danced with humor and Phoenix couldn’t help but smile.

  His amber eyes flashed and he turned her hand over. She thought he would press a kiss to her palm, but instead he sniffed delicately at her wrist. “And such an interesting scent.” He grinned at her when her eyebrows shot upwards. “I assume that you live here at Angor?”

  Phoenix wondered where he was from that the smell of the castle clung to her so strongly. She nodded. “I came here five moons ago.”

  He looked delighted. “And already an Apprentice? As well as a warrior?” The last part was said jokingly, and his grin for her was friendly. “You must tell me all about it,” he murmured. His look was a mix of curiosity as well as admiration.

  Phoenix was reminded of Prince Hallan and how terribly their meeting had gone. It was all she could do not to wince.

  Camden jogged over to them, panting lightly from his exertions. “We have to go,” he said to Phoenix, pointedly ignoring the fact that she was talking to Alexandri.

  She was surprised at his rudeness. “Apprentice Camden,” she said, by way of introduction to Alexandri, as if that could somehow make up for his bad manners.

  Alexandri bowed stiffly. “Apprentice,” he acknowledged, in a less than friendly tone.

  “Trader,” Camden responded in the same tone. He did not move to bow to the boy, but instead turned back to Phoenix. “We have to go. Now.”

  Phoenix frowned. As senior Apprentice, she knew that Camden outranked her - barely - so she had to defer to him in castle matters.

  She looked to Alexandri, desperate to explain the situation so as not to cause insult, but he was just looking at her with amusement. He seemed to know how the ranking occurred in the castle.

  Alexandri gave a stiff salute to Camden, emphasising it as if to mock him. He then spread his fingers in farewell to Phoenix. “Lady Apprentice,” he said, with an impetuous wink. “Until next time.” Giving her a crooked smile, he left the two and walked over to join his friends who waited on the railing. They whistled and clapped as he reached them.

  Camden’s expression was dark, his grey eyes stormy as he watched Alexandri leave. “C’mon,” he said, striding forward.

  Phoenix lurched after him, her long legs catching up quickly. “What in the toads is wrong with you?” she hissed quietly, so as not to attract the attention of anyone.

  “Me?” he shot back, just as quietly. “What’s wrong with you?”

  “What do you mean what’s wrong with me? You were unbelievably rude to him!” She didn’t bother keeping the anger from her voice. Camden’s pushy attitude was getting to her, and she had had enough of everyone telling her how awful she was.

  “So? You’re not supposed to be talking to his type, anyway.”

  “His type?” Phoenix asked loudly, outraged. Heads turned towards them and Camden shot her a furious glare, but Phoenix realized that she no longer cared how moody he became. She pressed her lips together, refusing to apologize for her outburst.

  They continued walking in silence. “He’s a trader. They’re not to be trusted,” he said, finally, once they had gone back to being unnoticed. “They’re nomads. They make their way around Angoria overselling their wares that they either stole, or got for next to nothing.”

  Phoenix snorted. “If they’re thieves then why aren’t they locked up?” she asked stubbornly.

  Camden made a frustrated sound. “They aren’t all thieves. Just most of them. They’re not trustworthy people. They don’t have morals like you or I.”

  “That’s foolish. Who says?”

  “Everyone says.”

  “Well everyone is stupid!” she snapped, her tone aiming the insult directly at Camden and letting him know who she thought everyone was.

  He sighed with exasperation. “Phoenix, they don’t look to any Manor or serve any Lord. They are a law unto themselves. They have no Blood, but they do not work for anyone who does. They pay no dues. It’s not proper.”

  She stubbornly refused to back down. “Why do you even care? What does it matter?”

  “Because they’re commoners! Commoners can’t just go wandering around doing whatever they please. They have to serve someone.”

  Phoenix went cold at hearing Brianna’s nasty sentiments echoed in his words. She felt as if she had been kicked in the stomach. Camden was not supposed to be her enemy. He was supposed to be her friend. How could she be friends with someone who held her in such low regard?

  Camden stopped and turned to see what was keeping her. It took an instant for his expression to turn from one of annoyance to one of regret. Too late he realized what he had said, and, arrested by the look on her face, his expression turned to distress.

  “Phoenix... I didn’t mean...” His voice was apologetic. “You know I didn’t mean you,” he said, softly. He took a step towards her and extended a hand.

  She brushed it aside. “No need to worry about my feelings. I’m just a commoner,” she said flatly.

  “Yes, but-”

  “And I have no Blood.”

  “But you’re here now, and-”

  “And we can’t all have the good fortune of growing up in a house of splendour,” she interrupted. She was angry now, and she felt the need to lash out and to hurt him as he did her.

  “Phoenix, please,” he pleaded with her. “You know I wasn’t talking about you.”

  “It’s fine.”

  “It’s not-”

  “What you said was all true, my Lord. Every word. Don’t you fret none about th’ feelin’s of us common folk,” she drawled. “We ain’t gonna bother you none.”

  Phoenix mimicked Alexandri’s example. She bowed in a grandiose display of mock respect. “I’ll take my leave of you, my Lord,” she told him. “I wouldn’t want to take up any more of your precious time. All of your noble friends are surely waiting.”

  Camden looked miserable but Phoenix refused to care. She turned smartly on her heel and marched away without a backward glance.

  CHAPTER 17

  Phoenix stood in Muler’s stall, tracing the multi-directional whorls in the hair along his neck. She still felt the sting of her exchange with Camden hours later. Phoenix knew her temper had gotten the better of her, but she refused to feel badly about her outburst.

  Still, she wished that it had never happened in the first place.

  Phoenix had purposely lost him in the crowd, ducking into the stables without a second thought.

  Muler had been excited to see her - Kit not so much, as she was still sulking from the scolding Phoenix had given her from the incident with Prince Hallan - and he showed this by continually reaching his head around to lip at her sleeves, snorting comically from the effort. She tried her best to calm the donkey, but eventually Phoenix admitted defeat with a laugh and let him tire himself out.

  “We’ll
go for a run as soon as all this madness is cleared away,” she promised Muler quietly, once he had settled down. Phoenix leaned against him and used her fingers to comb out his short mane. She relished the quiet reprieve, feeling as though she were finally able to catch her breath.

  Everything was non-stop lately. She’d been shuffled from one lesson to the other all season, only pausing to practice or to sleep. It had been a lot to take in.

  “Life’s gotten so confusing,” she confided in a murmur. “Everything here is different. Even the people are different. They’re so concerned with rank and standing... I feel as though I’ll never get used to them. Not completely.” Muler listened quietly. He watched her attentively as she spoke, flicking an ear back now and then to show he was listening.

  “And I’m so angry all the time,” she continued in a whisper, almost afraid to speak the words out loud. As if saying them would give them the power of truth. As if she could ignore the feeling otherwise.

  She ran her fingers across his back, pushing against his hair and scratching gently at the skin underneath. “Ever since I started training with Master Malcourt, everything seems to be rubbing me the wrong way. Maybe that’s part of the learning, I dunno... It makes me nervous sometimes. It’s good - don’t get me wrong - but it’s also good that we left Avondale when we did.”

  Phoenix was quiet for a time. She shuddered to think what could have happened if she had stayed at the farm without a focus ring. If she had gone to live with Samuel without being able to control her Power...

  She watched the light glint off of the silver band as she scratched Muler. The dark green stone had been separated expertly into slivers, the tiny shards arranged like leaves around the main stone, the deep purple gem cut to display mesmerizing multi-hued facets that had been hidden within the stone. Phoenix had been touched by how beautifully her ring had been made, and she took great care to keep it clean as a show of gratitude.

  Phoenix was acutely aware of the warmth coming from Muler. She only realized how tense her body was when the muscles in her back finally began to relax, the scars between her shoulder blades protesting when she rolled her shoulders. She rubbed the back of her neck and was surprised when tears sprang to her eyes.

  She stood there for a time, half-standing and half-leaning against the donkey. She was tired, as always, and hungry again, but the idea of leaving her little sanctuary seemed too much to bear. Like the eye of a storm, it was a sharp contrast against the activity churning around her.

  A quick movement caught the corner of her eye. Phoenix turned her head to see a small lizard scurry out of sight up a nearby wall, chased into the shadows by the sound of approaching footsteps.

  Stablemaster Sean’s ruddy complex came into view as he poked his head into the pen. He gave a huff as he took stock of the enclosure, the sound of displeasure not a reflection of Phoenix’s presence, though he gave her a scowl before checking on the rest of the pens. He was accustomed to seeing her come and go, and while he looked as though he would prefer not having to deal with her, he never bothered saying anything to her one way or the other. She took it as an unspoken truce between them - likely brought about by Master Malcourt or the King intervening on her behalf. After all, it had been her one request of King Benedict when she had first met it.

  “Did’ja find it?” the soft voice of the stablehand easily cut through the sleepy silence of the stables.

  “No,” Sean grumbled at the girl, sounding peevish. “Go check the slop pile. Someone must’ve left the bucket there.”

  “But I already checked- ” The protest died away as they moved back down the hall, away from Phoenix and the pens.

  “Then check again,” Sean’s roar was enough to set the horses nickering in protest. “Slop buckets don’t jus’ disappear!”

  The sound of hurried footsteps were quickly swallowed up in a blanket of silence.

  Sighing softly, Phoenix gave Muler a final pat and a nose rub before pushing herself into an upright position. Kit had finally crept closer, so she ruffled the dog’s fur with a kind word and left the stables.

  Conscientious of how dirty she was in the waning sunlight, Phoenix took up a light jog to get back to the dorms quickly, taking the stairs two at a time until she reached her room. She pushed the door open with a bang, grateful that the room was empty.

  She frowned at the Apprentice outfit she had set aside. It was finer than what she currently wore. Around the castle it was customary to have the bands stitched into regular tunics to show rank, but the Apprentices were able to wear their regular clothing with it. The outfit was different in that the bands were worked into the fabric of the top as well as the bottoms, creating a uniformed look that was reserved for more formal functions.

  Phoenix rubbed at a speck of dirt with her thumbnail. She wouldn’t be able to visit the washing room and the bathing room before she had to report to the kitchens. With a sigh of deliberation, Phoenix grabbed the outfit and ran down the hall.

  She wasn’t supposed to wash clothes in the bathing room, but... she wouldn’t get caught with everyone out. And it was for a special event...

  Phoenix shed her clothing without hesitation.

  She clutched her Apprentice outfit against her body and pinched her nose, sliding into the recessed bathing pool that was somehow always warmed. She swiftly washed the sweat and dirt from her body, scrubbing away any remnants of her drills in the courtyard, as if she could scrub away her spat with Camden by doing so. When she surfaced, she scrubbed at the dirt under her nails, undoubtedly accumulated from rolling around on the floor with Rorin yesterday morning. “Whatever would the nobles think?” she murmured to herself with amusement.

  She used special care when using the tallow bar to scrub her Apprentice clothes. The bar flaked easily, the pieces soft as they fizzed against the wet material. She refused to embarrass the King or Master Malcourt by having a sloppy appearance, so she kept scrubbing until the bar had disappeared into a small nub and she was satisfied that every small stain or smudge had been removed from the material. When the clothing passed her inspection, she threw on her kitchen clothes and hurried to the drying room.

  The windows were shuttered tightly in an attempt to keep the chill of outdoors from creeping into the barren stone room. The breeze would not make her clothes dry faster - it might slow it down, if anything - but it would make sure that her clothes smelled fresh, and Phoenix was tired of the stuffy smell that the cold season had brought to Angor.

  She flung the shutters open and pinned her shirt and trous to a rack by the windows. Happy with their position - close enough to catch the air and sunshine, but not close enough to fall out the window - she reported to the kitchens.

  Tessa stood silently in the centre of the main room. The Kitchenmaster’s usually composed face was frowning in concentration as she crimped several dozen pie crusts. She twirled the dishes to expertly indent the edges with a press of her thumb, sliding each completed crust to the left for cooking before taking another from the right.

  Silently, Phoenix tied back her wet curls and donned an apron.

  A large fire broke out in one of the roasting pits. Grabbing a bucket of water from the washing station, Phoenix ran towards the flames and doused them quickly, mouthing a quiet word of Power to bring the rest of their heat under control. She felt a small thrill of surprise when the silent command worked, and the flames that were untouched by the water sizzled back into glowing embers. Maybe she was finally learning to control her Power.

  “Don’t let the drip tray overflow,” Tessa called matter-of-factly to the workers at the roasting station. “We don’t need to build the King a new castle for his birthing day.” Her words made light of the situation, but her tone was cradled in annoyance.

  Tessa’s eyes met Phoenix’s and she shot the girl a grateful look. Her gratitude was short-lived as she jerked her head the next moment, motioning for Phoenix to attend the vegetable station behind her. Phoenix had no sooner taken position then she was s
et to work peeling a mountain of root vegetables and dumping them into pots of boiling water.

  Phoenix continued on like this for over an hour, peeling and carrying the veg to the stoves to cook. She paused now and then to shake her hands and stretch some feeling back into her cramped fingers.

  Tessa’s voice rang out. “Fifteen minutes until service!” As if echoing her, the bell to signal the servers rang a moment later.

  “Places, people!” Tessa called.

  Everyone scrambled in a race against time. Workers rushed to finish their foods while scullers tripped over one another to load their platters with the fresh items.

  Too quickly the gong reverberated through the kitchens and service began. Scullers with heavily laden platters minced their way through the doors and into the dining hall, bringing out the pre-meal dishes of breads and soup. It had barely begun before Phoenix heard a shout behind her, followed by a large crash.

  Everything stopped. The silence hung heavy. “What is it?” Tessa demanded. “What happened?” She wiped her hands on her apron and hurried to the source of the crash.

  A sculler sat on the floor gingerly clutching his foot. Next to him, a shattered pitcher leaked red wine everywhere.

  Tessa signaled the nearest worker. “Help him get to the infirm. Have one of the Healers see to his ankle.” Everyone paused what they were doing to watch as the sculler was pulled to his good foot and limped from the kitchens.

  “Someone get a rag and clean this up. We don’t need another accident.” Tessa scanned the crowd. “Now, then. Who can I...” Her eyes landed on Phoenix. “Perfect. Phoenix, I need you to take over and serve wine to the noble tables.”

  Phoenix blinked. She was no server. “But I can’t -”

  “You most certainly can. And you have to! You’re the cleanest of the lot.”

  Phoenix frowned down at her clean tunic. She darted her gaze around in a desperate attempt to find someone in cleaner attire, but she had to admit that what Tessa said was true. Everyone but her had been cooking all day.