The Athlete

by Elin Peer

  “We are! But unlike most of my peers, I have experience with women, so I’m wise enough to stay away.”

  “From all women?”

  “No, just the women who tempt me.”

  “I see. And since I don’t tempt you, I’m a safe roommate?”

  “That’s right. You and I dislike each other so much that there’s no chance of us ever falling in love.”

  “Let me get this right.” Emanuela moved in her seat. “You would rather fight with me than fall in love with someone else?”

  I tilted my head. “Pretty much.”

  “That makes no sense. Falling in love is supposed to be wonderful. If you have the capacity to do that, then why not pursue it?”

  “I have my reasons.”

  She waited for me to elaborate, but there was no way I was going to tell her how my heart had once been ripped out of my chest and left in pieces.

  “Okay.” With a deep sigh she ran her hands through her hair. “I’m warning you, though, I don’t have the best reviews as a roommate.”

  “That’s a fucking surprise,” I said with thick irony.

  Like most Motlanders, Emanuela, didn’t pick up on sarcasm and irony well. “If you knew me better it would make sense. I can be a bit anal about things that don’t matter to others. And I like things my way.”

  “Nooo…” I clasped my cheeks in mock surprise and this time it was so exaggerated that she understood I wasn’t serious.

  “You’re making fun of me.”

  “No. I’m just saying that I don’t expect you to be the world’s best roommate.”

  “And yet you still want to pick me? Why?”

  “Because you don’t shriek when I curse and we have a mutual interest in staying away from each other.”

  “That’s not true. If we’re doing this, the purpose would be for you to get used to being close to a woman. Staying away from me would defy that purpose.”

  I frowned. “How close are we talking?”

  Donna knocked on the door and cracked it open. “Can I come back in now?”

  “Yes. Hunter was just asking me how close we have to be, if we live together.”

  “I would say that the more time you spend together and the closer you are, the faster Hunter will get used to being comfortable around women other than his sister. If you two do this right, it should only be a few weeks until you can move back to living in your separate apartments again.” Donna sat down behind her desk. “I have a list of questions that I would like you to ask each other. It’s something I have prepared and it will help you get a conversation going that’s about more than soccer.” She pointed to her wristband. “I’ll send it to you and in order for me to make sure that you have taken this assignment seriously, I’ll have you send back answers to me by the end of this week.”

  I stood up. “I’m waiting for one of you to shout ‘psyched.’ You don’t really want me and Emanuela to be roommates, do you?”

  Donna tilted her head. “You think we’re joking?”

  I stared from her to Emanuela and back to Donna. “Yes.”

  Emanuela leaned back in the chair. “I wish.”

  Donna stood up and moved around her desk to place her hand on my shoulder blade. “Trust me, I’m a psychologist, I know what I’m doing. This will force you to work it out together.”

  Emanuela sighed. “Does Hunter move in to my apartment or do I move in with him?”

  “Why don’t you figure that out yourself? As long as you sleep in the same bed, eat at least four meals together a week, and spend time getting to know each other, then you’re free to do as you want.”

  Emanuela’s head popped up. “Hold on. I’ve had roommates before, but we’ve never slept in the same bed.”

  “Of course not. But since this is a short-term thing, you won’t be moved to a two-bedroom apartment, and really, it’s all going to speed up the process.”

  “It’s okay, I’ll take the couch.”

  “No, Hunter, there will be no sleeping on the couch.” Donna pointed to Emanuela. “For him or you.”

  We left Donna’s office with a heavy atmosphere between us. The thought of sleeping with her tonight had me on edge and I wondered how the hell I’d ended up in this situation. “How big is your bed?”

  “Same size as yours; the apartments in our complex all have the same furniture.”

  “That’s not gonna work.”

  “Why not?”

  Thinking it was self-explanatory, I gave an annoyed huff. “Because it’s a small bed and I’m six foot four and take up space when I sleep. You’ll be crushed if I roll on top of you.”

  The horrid expression on Emanuela’s face made me roll my eyes. “No, not like that. I didn’t mean it in a sexual way.”

  She stopped for a second and rubbed her forehead. “You’d better promise me that you’re dedicated to making this work. The shorter the time the better.”

  “I agree.”

  “Then come with me.”

  She walked down to the soccer field. It was empty since we had already had our training for today.

  “One on one.”

  I picked up a ball and held it under my arm. “What’s that going to help?”

  “You know the saying that practice makes perfect?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Good. We’re athletes. We’ve already put in thousands of hours on practice, and physical contact with women is just one more thing you need to practice to master. I didn’t break when you wrestled with me and yet you make stupid comments about crushing me by sleeping next to me. Today at practice you were still hesitant over getting too close to the females when you play soccer. Since I’m the only one you seem willing to touch, I’m going to help you get past that nonsense.”

  “It’s not nonsense. I weigh double what you weigh and I could hurt you if I’m not careful.”

  “I’ve already had you on top of me and I think I proved just fine that I’m not made of delicate porcelain.”

  “That’s not what I’m saying.”

  “Good. Don’t go full grizzly bear on me, but think of me as one of the guys from back home.”

  There was no way I could think of Emanuela as a man. Despite my teasing her, she was feminine with her long hair that always smelled amazing, and her toned body with just enough curves to make a man lust for her. She might not have the biggest breasts, but hers were firm, perky, and more than once, I’d thought of them when I was alone.

  I played around with the ball while she tried to take it from me.

  “What’s up with your hand?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “The way you raise it above me like you’re afraid that it will touch me. Is that how you would play back home?”

  “No.”

  “No one is going to give you trouble for touching a woman here. It’s not illegal.”

  I dropped my arm down and used my body to shield the ball. Emanuela was fast on her feet and managed to get it from me.

  “Come on, take it back,” she encouraged.

  I tried, but something inside me held me back from getting as close as I would have with a man.

  She stopped with her right foot on top of the ball. “What happened? Yesterday you were willing to wrestle me to the ground, now you’re afraid of touching me.”

  “Yesterday I was mad at you.”

  “You’re always mad at me.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “Just take the ball, Hunter.”

  I tried again and almost got the ball but she was too quick and pulled away at the last second.

  “Come on, Hunter, use your body.”

  I tried but got frustrated fast. “What do you want me to do? It feels so unnatural.”

  She scratched her arm and seemed to think about it. “Hold out your arms like this. I want to try something.”

  I lifted my arms to the sides and shifted my weight when she moved into my personal space.

  “Relax.” It sounded like an order
and was easier said than done.

  Emanuela leaned her head back and looked up at me. “Don’t think I’m coming on to you but I’m going to hug you, and all I want you to do is just stand still and get used to the feeling of my body against your body. Can you do that?”

  I wanted to say no, but at the same time I craved her closeness from yesterday. “Of course I can.” I made it sound like it was no big deal, but my pulse was racing like I’d just been sprinting up and down the field.

  First, she placed her hands on my chest and then her hands slid down and around my waist. “I’m not going to do anything but hug you, and you don’t even need to hug me back.”

  I stiffened when her body pressed up against mine, her face against my collarbone, her hands around my back.

  “Just relax, Hunter. Give it two minutes.”

  “I am relaxed.”

  “No, you’re not. I can feel your heart pumping fast.”

  “That’s because it’s very uncomfortable”

  “You were fine being close to me yesterday.”

  “I told you. It was because I was angry.”

  “Whatever; just work with me here.”

  The warmth of her body made me close my eyes and fight the unwanted reaction in my midsection. There was no way I was going to let it happen again today, so when my usual mental tricks didn’t help, I tried to take a step back before she noticed my growing erection.

  “No, give it two minutes.” Emanuela held onto me, and she was strong for someone her size.

  “I can’t.”

  “Why not?” She had only just said it when she seemed to realize what was going on. “Ohh…” This time she was the one who took a step back. “What is it with you? Why does it keep happening when you’re so adamant that you don’t find me attractive?”

  My ears were getting hot and I bent down to pick up the ball, holding it in front of me. “Who knows? That thing has a life of its own.”

  “Which thing? Your deformed penis?” The edge of her lips lifted in a small smile.

  I rolled my eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with my equipment.”

  “Except for when it’s cold or you’re around women that you’re not attracted to. It must be impractical to have a part of you that you don’t control.”

  “It’s not that I don’t control it, it’s just that it’s…” I bit my lip. “It’s not always in alignment with what I want.”

  I walked away from her, but Emanuela ran up to me. “Can I ask you something?”

  “What?”

  “Is your penis only disobedient when you’re close to women you aren’t attracted to, or does it rebel as well when you’re close to women whom you are attracted to?”

  “I have no clue what you’re asking me.”

  “Does it ever refuse to get hard when you’re with a woman you are attracted to?”

  “No. I don’t know.” I made a sound of frustration. “This is the most uncomfortable conversation I’ve ever had.”

  “Why? Are you ashamed of your reaction to me?”

  “Yes, I’m fucking ashamed, okay? Can we leave it now and just go back to our apartments and figure out where we’re going to live?”

  Emanuela was quiet on the way there and when I asked if she preferred my place or hers, she said she didn’t care. I could tell she was upset about something, but I was so consumed with my own confusion and irritation that I didn’t pay much attention to her.

  CHAPTER 9

  The Questions

  Emanuela

  Our apartments were only four doors apart, but after entering Hunter’s place, I vetoed living there. He had done nothing to make the place a home. There were no personal touches and it would feel like living in a hotel.

  “You’re moving into my apartment,” I declared, and twenty minutes later I was warming up some food for us while Hunter was investigating everything.

  “You have a lot of photos.” He was standing in front of my wall of ‘joy notes’, which took up one side of the hallway that led from the living room down to the bathroom and bedroom.

  “You only have room for two more team photos; then what are you gonna do?” He was referring to the way I had framed the wall with team photos from every soccer team I had played on since I was a child.

  I shrugged. “Maybe I will stop playing.”

  “You plan to stop playing?” His fingers were trailing sweet notes written to me by fans or people I loved and photos of me hugging, kissing, and smiling a whole lot.

  “Yeah, at some point we all have to stop. I’ll know when the time is right.”

  “I have to be honest with you; it blows my mind to see you smiling so much in all these pictures. How come you’re always serious around me?”

  “You’ve seen me smile. I was goofing around with Sara before training today.”

  “Yeah, but during training you’re always stern and scolding me.”

  “I’m not scolding you. I’m trying to help you get better. I just happen to take practice very seriously. It’s our job and a lot of people are depending on us to get it right.”

  The apartment wasn’t big and I only had to lean out from the open kitchen to see him in the hallway. “What are you doing?”

  He was holding up his wristband as if he was photographing pictures from my wall.

  “I took a picture of you smiling.”

  “Why?”

  “As proof that you’re capable of it.”

  I shook my head. “Stop snooping around and come look at the questions that Donna gave us.”

  Hunter picked up the sheet and took a seat at the round dining table by the window. It wasn’t big but it was one of my favorite places to sit, as it offered a nice view over the city with the small park across the street.

  For a few minutes he studied the questions without saying a word.

  “How hungry are you?”

  He didn’t answer.

  “Hunter. I asked how hungry you are.”

  He looked up and zoomed in on me. “I was hungry but after seeing these questions I just lost my appetite. Have you seen them? I don’t feel comfortable talking about half of these things.”

  I walked over with two plates of zucchini spaghetti with a chili sauce on top. “How bad can it be?”

  “Oh, it’s bad, and I don’t see the purpose of this at all.”

  “Wasn’t it for us to get to know each other?”

  “That’s what Donna said, but these questions go beyond that. I wouldn’t even tell my closest friends about this. It’s intimate stuff.”

  “Give it to me.” I looked over the ten questions while taking a bite of my food.

  He groaned. “What do you think?”

  “It’s not that bad. Let’s start with this one, ‘What is your biggest fear?’”

  Hunter straightened in his chair. “Are you fucking kidding me right now? That’s the worst of all the questions.”

  “Why?”

  His eyebrows drew close together. “I’m not going to sit here and talk to you about my fears. I’m not some sensitive wuss.”

  “How about I tell you about my fears then? Maybe if I go first, it will make it easier for you to open up.”

  He scoffed. “I didn’t think you were afraid of anything!”

  “I am. I’m terrified that you won’t take this seriously and I’ll be stuck living with you and dealing with all your issues about women. How about that for a start?”

  “Very funny.”

  “Now it’s your turn.” I took another spoonful of food.

  Hunter crossed his arms. “I’m not afraid of anything.”

  I gave him a skeptical look. “Except the truth.”

  “What truth?”

  “Your truth. You’re afraid of being honest with me and telling me what your fears are.” I shrugged. “But you don’t have to, because I already know.”

  Hunter scoffed again. “No, you don’t.”

  “Your worst fear is to show fear. You have these weird ideas about
what it means to be a man, and somehow you got it stuck into your little head that showing fear makes you less of a man.”

  He kept his eyes on his food. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Well, I do know that there are plenty of things that you are afraid of. You are afraid of opening up and telling me intimate things about yourself, you’re afraid of showering with the team, you’re afraid of touching women when you play soccer. To be honest, I think the list is pretty long.”

  “I’m not afraid of showering with the team. The only reason I don’t do it is because I don’t want the women to get the wrong idea. I’m trying to be respectful.”

  “Right.” I took another bite and moved on to another question: “‘Who do you love most in the world and why?’”

  “My sister. What about you?”

  “You didn’t answer the why.”

  “Because she’s the only family I have.”

  “Okay.” I thought about it. “I think that the person I love the most is my brother Jonah, but don’t ever tell any of my other siblings that. I love them all. Well, maybe except for Anne, but she is a troubled soul.”

  “Why do you love Jonah the most?”

  “He’s just so easy to love. Jonah has always been special. You know, kind and honest. I think he’s the ideal of a man.”

  “No way, he’s too emotional.”

  I jerked my head back. “How do you know? You only met him yesterday.”

  “Yeah, but I could tell from the way he spoke about Pearl. No man should ever gush about a woman like that.”

  “He admires her. That’s all.”

  “That’s just because he hasn’t met her.”

  “Let me ask you another question.” I let my finger run down the ten questions. “‘What do you like most about yourself?’”

  Hunter threw up his hands. “See, I can’t answer shit like that.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because it would be bragging and one of the things I like about myself is that I don’t brag.”

  I laughed. “Except when you claim that you’re the best athlete and that we can’t teach you anything because you’re so good.”