Make Me Whole: Oil Barrons, Book 1

by Marie Johnston

  Laney laughed, but it died quickly. “I wish I could’ve come to the funeral.”

  I’d noticed she wasn’t there, and at the time, I had thought that Derek had hurt her that bad. “Why didn’t you?”

  She wiggled her ring finger. “It’s complicated.”

  Whatever that history had been, it had tempered Laney. I missed her fire.

  “So you two are close, huh?”

  I ducked my head. “She’s never thought I was a piece of shit like the rest of the town.”

  Laney’s lips lifted. “I didn’t think you were, but I hated that Derek wanted to rebuild an engine with you instead of make out in my bedroom.”

  “Fair.” That engine had never worked again. Grandpa had sold the car for scrap. “She’s just a friend.”

  I didn’t know why I felt the need to clarify. Friend wasn’t a strong enough word for what Kenny meant to me, but I didn’t know what else to call it.

  “I’m sure you’ll be there to vet the line of men that are going to appear when she starts dating again.” She flashed a smile and tipped the can to her mouth.

  A wildfire of rage swept through me, jacking up my pulse. I ground my teeth together. Men were not going to line up for Kenny, thinking she’s an easy target.

  Laney’s smirk was the blasting hose of cold water I needed. “Just a friend,” she muttered and took another drink.

  Chapter 7

  Kennedy

  * * *

  The creak of the front door got my attention. I hadn’t been able to sleep. It was just after midnight. I sat up and waited for Liam to tiptoe down the hall.

  “Liam,” I whispered.

  A big shadow stopped in front of my door. I’d left it open so I could hear the kids if they called for me or stumbled to the bathroom.

  “You awake?” he asked quietly.

  “Yes. The boys are in your bed.”

  Liam eased the door farther open. “Mind if I come in?”

  I nodded, but it was too dark for him to see. “Not at all.”

  I was in only a T-shirt and underwear, but Liam had seen me when I hadn’t showered for a week. I was clean, and it was dark.

  He stepped in and closed the door behind him. “There, we don’t have to whisper,” he said quietly and perched on the end of the bed, twisting toward me.

  I took a deep breath but couldn’t smell clingy perfume. “How was tonight?” My heart hammered waiting for the answer.

  “It was different.”

  I wished I could see his face. What was his expression?

  “Nothing happened, if that’s what you’re asking.”

  “Oh, no. It’s none of my business.” Not sleeping together on the first date didn’t mean they weren’t going to in the future. Would I offer to babysit for those too? I didn’t want to.

  “My business is your business. But no, it wasn’t like that. Get this, she said I was her only friend.”

  “What?” Laney had been the alpha of the girls in her class, the hot girl that others were a little bit in fear of. Kids tried to be her friend, desperate to not be her enemy.

  “Yeah, and maybe keep this to yourself, but she’s divorced.”

  “What?”

  I could see him nod in the dark. The old blinds on the window didn’t let in much of the yard light. He was a big, comforting shadow. “Tan line where a wedding ring used to be. She’s different, Kenny. Still Laney, but I could talk to her. I don’t know if she regrets any of her behavior in high school, so maybe not that different. But she admitted to being young and pissed and jealous.”

  “That was obvious,” I said dryly. “No one knows she was married?”

  “I don’t know. We all say Laney Granger’s back home, unless she didn’t change her name. She doesn’t wear her ring. I barely noticed the tan line, but we were sitting next to each other at the bar at Rattler’s.”

  “She didn’t come to the funeral.” I’d had the wherewithal to notice, if only to be hurt on Derek’s behalf.

  “She didn’t say why. Just said it was complicated.” He fell quiet for a moment, and I soaked up the company. A big, dark house with two kids hadn’t been scary. This was nice. Really nice. Talking in the dark like I had a partner again. “How’d the boys do tonight?”

  “The change in routine upset them, I think. I finally suggested your bed. I didn’t think they’d go willingly to theirs. Eli wouldn’t go past the first step.”

  “Shit,” Liam said softly. “I shouldn’t have gone out. I’m sorry.”

  “You’re allowed to have a life, Liam.”

  “Mm.”

  That little sound was more powerful in person. “I’m serious.”

  “I wasn’t really feeling it.”

  “Feeling what?”

  “Doing the whole dating thing. Anyway, it turned out not to be a date, and I got to know Laney again. She’s not my only friend, but it’s nice to have one more person on my side.”

  It turned out not to be a date.

  My relief was short lived. One day it would be. Liam was too good of a catch to be alone. I didn’t want him to be alone; I wanted him to be with me.

  I sucked in a breath and shoved that thought out of my head. I reached for a different subject, any subject. “Did you talk to the farmers market director?”

  Much safer territory. He’d messaged that he was going to try if he got a chance on one of his breaks. I’d forgotten to follow up, caught in my sinkcapades.

  “No.”

  “Call them tomorrow.”

  He clamped a big hand over my ankle under the covers. “All right, Kenny. I’ll call the director. For you.”

  Heat shot through my body. He wasn’t even touching me skin on skin. “Thank you.”

  I lay back. I had to move, do something. His strength soaked through the fabric, and God, I missed that.

  “I should get to bed,” he said, his voice gruff. “They’ll be up early.”

  “Where are you going to sleep?”

  “I dunno. Maybe one of their beds? The couch? I don’t dare touch Grandma Gin’s room. She doesn’t even let the boys inside.”

  He’d leave and take his heat and his strength and his company with him.

  “Just sleep here.”

  “Here?” Disbelief resounded.

  I tried to sound casual when inside my head I was screaming I can’t believe you said that! “We’re adults. I’m under the quilt. You can sleep over it.”

  He was quiet for a moment. This time I was grateful I couldn’t see his expression. There was no reason to be embarrassed. I wasn’t hitting on him. It made sense. His kids were close by, and it was late. He might wake them up when he was finding blankets for the couch.

  It was a practical offer. He was fully dressed, and I was under blankets. A practical offer shouldn’t make my heart race and my body flush with heat.

  “All right,” he said. “But if you snore, I’m kicking you out.”

  I swatted his rock-hard shoulder as he lay back. “I was here first.”

  His deep chuckle traveled through the bed right into my body. So much better than over the phone. My eyelids drifted shut and I stole a second of pleasure. I was a woman, and I appreciated a deep voice. That was all it was.

  It didn’t feel like that was all, but I fell asleep faster than I had in months.

  Liam

  * * *

  I woke with the strongest erection of my life. It wasn’t quite morning yet. I shifted, and my hip bumped against a solid body and the soft smell of roses and vanilla filled my nose.

  Kenny. I was in bed with Kenny.

  I rolled to my side to give her more room, but like a dumbass, I went the direction that ended up with me facing her. Weak. I was too weak to roll away from her.

  A soft moan escaped her, and I opened my eyes. She was facing me, the blankets kicked off. The room was warm, thanks to the door being closed.

  I could let her sleep, but this was… It was just… It was intimate. And I didn’t know how s
he’d feel about it.

  Because one thing had become startlingly clear.

  I’d been lying to myself. I didn’t know when it’d started, but it was recent. Sometime after the flush returned to Kenny’s cheeks. When she started eating like she wanted to live again. When she laughed and talked to me in the dark in the middle of the night.

  Kenny was important to me, but she had become so much more than a friend. She’d transitioned from a sweet and sexy friend straight into my dream girl. She was kind, great with my kids, and she respected me.

  I had to wake her up and get her back under those covers. The last thing I would do was let her know I was interested in her. She was too important to me. I couldn’t risk her shutting me out, appalled and upset that I would cross the line.

  “Kenny?” I gently rubbed her shoulder.

  “Mm? Liam?”

  “You’re not under the covers anymore.”

  “No.” She let out a soft sigh. “I’m not.”

  We both remained still. She made the first move, pressing her hand against my chest, increasing the pulse in my nearly painful hard-on. “God, Liam. Lately, I’ve been… I’m just… I really miss—” Another moment of silence. “I just need, and I’m tired of it.”

  The ragged desperation in her voice was the only reason I rolled closer. “What do you need, Kenny?”

  “I want to feel close to someone again.”

  I wanted to be the one close to her, but I shouldn’t. Someone was not me. “Do you need me to leave?”

  “No, Liam,” she said, and her hand lifted to my cheek, her touch light. “I want you to stay.”

  Stunned, I didn’t know what to say. I’d do anything for Kenny. But this wasn’t cracking jokes or replacing a headlight in her car. We were at a precipice, and the next minute would determine the future of our friendship. “Kenny.”

  She flipped to her other side, her back pressed to my belly. I tensed. There would be no hiding what her ass was pressing against, yet she didn’t jerk away, and neither did I. Her slight body fit perfectly with mine, and we stayed like that for a few moments. I was afraid to move, afraid to put my hand on her like I wanted to.

  Her wiggles were slight, growing in strength, her legs bending and straightening. “Liam? Can you touch me?”

  The vulnerability in her voice was enough motivation. “Where?”

  She reached behind her and grabbed my hand. I held my breath as she placed it over the sweltering apex of her thighs. Her grip weakened, like she was going to fling my arm away and run, but then it firmed.

  I couldn’t move. She was in the same place I was. Wanting this, but questioning how wrong was too wrong. “Are you… Are you sure?”

  “Please? I did this the other night, and it was so lonely.”

  She’d gotten herself off? If it wasn’t for the heartbreak in her words, I would’ve come right there in my jeans.

  I whispered in her ear as I splayed my fingers wide. “Tell me to stop and I’ll stop.”

  She writhed under my hand. “Just make me feel good. Make me feel whole.”

  That awkwardness over the phone when talking about my maybe date. The way it had been so unlike us. How she’d looked at me tonight before I’d left, her expression a mix of yearning and like she’d sipped a sour beverage. This attraction wasn’t one sided. But it might be as sudden for her as it was for me. My concern for her didn’t stop at the bedroom door.

  “I’ve got you, Kenny.”

  I brushed a soft kiss over the shell of her ear. A shiver traced down her body. So responsive, it was humbling. Slowly, I slipped my hand under the waistband of her underwear. Her breath hitched. I didn’t stall but every nerve was tensed to stop at her command. I wouldn’t have noticed the slight stiffening of her body if she weren’t pressed so close to me, but her hips rolled ever so slightly into my hand.

  I slipped a finger through her soft curls and hit her wetness. I held in my groan. She was aching, needy, her wet heat inviting me and wrapping around me, coaxing me to stay. I’d never touched something so soft, so warm. I never wanted to leave.

  All I did was slide my finger back and forth, coating it in her juices, giving her time to get used to another hand besides her own. Giving her time to get used to having a hand down there at all. Giving me time to get used to who I held in my arms. Time to admit how badly I’d lied to myself about wanting this.

  I stroked a small circle around her clit and she whimpered, her legs widening.

  “I’ve got you,” I murmured into her hair, soothing myself as much as her. Letting us both know that was natural, that she wasn’t the only one who wanted to feel whole.

  She didn’t let go of my wrist, squeezing like she was just as conflicted as I was, probably more, her grip a clamp over my skin as I worked her. Her breathing quickened, her squirms grew more demanding, and I held her in the cocoon of my arms. I circled, alternating pressure depending on how she responded. Her hand held mine to her like she was afraid I’d pull away, or so she could fling me off when it got to be too much.

  My erection pounded behind my jeans, but I had no intention of dealing with it. What was happening was more special, more critical, than any other intimate moment in my life. I never wanted this to change. Kenny in my house. Kenny in my bed. I wanted her as my friend, and more.

  I didn’t shut my eyes. As faint light dawned behind me through the window, I watched this woman I’d grown so close to in the last couple of months writhe.

  “More,” she whispered as if she was terrified to ask. I held her tighter, switched my thumb to her clit and slipped a finger through her wet heat, pushing inside.

  I knew she’d needed more but had waited for her to ask, to tell me so I didn’t record scratch this moment between us. I relished the ragged moan she pressed into the covers. So fucking tight. Once her body had something to clamp around, once she could ride me with her short hip thrusts, she blew apart. Rolling toward the covers, she smothered her face and cried out.

  “I’ve got you, Kenny. Let it go. I’ve got you.”

  Warmth flooded my hand as she rode out her orgasm. I did nothing but hold her, staying true to my word.

  As she panted through the final tremors, I withdrew my hand but rested it on top of her underwear. She wasn’t going to feel abandoned by my arms.

  Emotions whirled inside of me, mingling into a twist until there was a tornado wreaking havoc inside my chest. I’d gotten Kenny off. I’d touched her where I suspected only one man had touched her before.

  Kenny had been off-limits since I’d met her. She was my best friend’s girl, and we’d just been intimate. Worse than that, I wanted this again. I wanted her. I wanted everything.

  What kind of ass did that make me? Should I have rolled away and pretended there was nothing between us? That we hadn’t grown closer because we’d lost someone critical in our lives?

  If I could go back in time, knowing the conflict that raged inside of me, I’d do it all over again. I’d be selfish and tell myself that I was here for her. That I was here for anything she wanted. I’d ignore the fact that Kenny had become the only woman in my life that I’d ever want to be with.

  Kennedy

  * * *

  Strength and heat surrounded me. My shoulders ached from keeping quiet. I’d been all too aware that there were kids sleeping nearby, just like I’d been all too aware that it was Liam behind me and not my husband.

  It wasn’t Derek that held me. It wasn’t Derek that had whispered to me in the dark. It wasn’t Derek that I had fallen apart with. And at no point had I convinced myself it was.

  Liam felt different. He smelled different. His voice and his touch were different. It was all wrong, yet so achingly right at the same time.

  A hot tear leaked out of the corner of my eye. Then another. I ferociously blinked it away.

  I wanted to push Liam off the bed and run. Terror raced through me at the thought of upsetting him until he went away too.

  I couldn’t lose Liam. Bu
t I’d lost my husband. And I’d just begged for his best friend to get me off.

  I squeezed my eyes shut. A war raged in my head and in my heart.

  What did I do? How did I act? How had blame and regret and relief piled up on my chest?

  I clenched my legs together. Liam moved his hand to rest on my hip. A solid, heavy weight that warmed me more than any blanket.

  I had no idea what to do.

  The heat that had stoked my desire until I’d grabbed a man’s hand and put it on me changed, morphed into an invisible choke hold.

  “Are you okay?” His words were nothing more than a whisper, but his breath feathered my hair, reminding me about what was so startlingly clear. I was in his arms. He was curled around me like he was protecting me, but my brain was formulating an escape.

  It’d be easy enough for him to tell Eli and Owen that he’d come back early and I’d gone home. No one knew that I was here. No one knew what had gone on between us.

  My throat grew thick, and pressure built behind my eyes. Liam had seen me like no one else on earth had, but he wasn’t witnessing me cry after he’d stroked out one of the quickest, most relentless orgasms I’d ever had.

  It wasn’t fair.

  I rolled away from him and sat up.

  It wasn’t fair that he wasn’t my husband, and it wasn’t fair that he was so good at getting me off. There was no bumbling, no testing, no guessing. Liam had touched me and known exactly what to do.

  It wasn’t fair that I wanted more and I wanted it from him.

  It wasn’t fair that he was leaving too.

  I fought back a sob. My mind was a mess, but my body wanted more. My clothes were piled on the end table. I threw the T-shirt I wore yesterday on over my nightshirt.

  “Kenny, we should talk about this.”

  “Not right now, Liam.” My voice was hard from holding back tears. Emotion built inside me until I feared I’d explode and take the county with me, but none of it had seeped into my words.