The Guilt Trip

by Sandie Jones

  ‘What’s the point?’ he’d say. ‘Where’s the sense in me working my arse off and earning good money, to spend the precious time I get off in a place worse than where we live?’

  She’d imagined Will’s surfer friend having a shack that hung precariously off a cliff, giving a whole new meaning to sea views.

  ‘So, it’s okay?’ Jack asks again, no doubt aware of the vast difference between his ‘insane’ and his brother’s.

  ‘Trust me, it’s off the charts.’ Will smiles.

  And Rachel has to hand it to him, as just over an hour later, they pull up at a villa perched on the edge of a clifftop, overlooking the Portuguese fishing village of Nazaré. The imposing glass-and-white walls preside over the terracotta roofs of tightly built houses that line the beach below. The villa’s modern, angular features, softened by a swathe of warm light, create an awe-inspiring silhouette against the darkening skies.

  ‘Oh, baby, it’s beautiful!’ squeals Ali as the minivan moves slowly up the inclined driveway – the lit chrome bollards making it look like a little runway from which they’re about to take flight. Rachel nervously grabs Jack’s hand as her eyes follow the calçada paving until it seems to disappear into the abyss.

  Thankfully, the van stops short, though not in time to stop Rachel’s hand from growing clammy. Jack gives her a reassuring smile, as if he knows that her mind momentarily saw them all going over the edge.

  Noah whistles appreciatively through his teeth as the oversized front door swings open onto a breathtaking double-height room. An open fireplace sits in the middle, its stone-clad chimney reaching up into the vaults of the ceiling.

  Rachel feels Jack relax beside her as he looks around the vast space, his fears at what his nomadic brother could have had them staying in immediately allayed.

  She’d often wondered how two boys who were brought up together could have such different outlooks. While Jack needed to check his schedule several times a day, and was known to call restaurants to confirm an already confirmed reservation, Will didn’t know where he was going to be from one day to the next. If he woke up and felt the need to go to a kibbutz in Israel, he could well be at one by that evening. He’d just throw his meagre belongings into a backpack and head to wherever he felt the calling. He was at his happiest spending the night under the stars, with nothing but a stretched piece of tarpaulin separating him from the elements. Hence why Jack – and she, too, she has to admit – are so relieved to be standing here, in front of glass doors that wrap around three of the walls, looking out onto an azure-blue swimming pool lit by underwater spotlights.

  Will excitedly pulls back one of the patio doors and invites them to step out onto the polished concrete terrace. There’s a saltiness in the air that tells Rachel she’s close to the ocean, but it’s the crashing of the waves that tells her just how close. It’s so difficult to get your bearings when you go somewhere new, especially in the fading light, but she knows that, once morning comes, she’ll be able to explore and get a feel for where she is. Right now, the roar of the Atlantic resounds in her ears, making her shiver involuntarily.

  Jack puts his arm around her shoulders. ‘It’s stunning mate, it really is.’

  Will smiles, seemingly relieved by his big brother’s appreciation.

  ‘Which one’s our room?’ asks Ali, hanging onto Will’s arm like a limpet. ‘I hope we’ve got the honeymoon suite.’

  Will’s eyes light up. ‘You’re not going to believe it,’ he says, taking Ali by the hand. ‘Let me show you.’

  ‘Well, this is all right, isn’t it?’ says Jack, taking a deep breath of sea air and stretching his arms up.

  ‘This is better than all right, mate,’ says Noah jovially.

  ‘It’s like something out of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills!’ Paige laughs, unable to disguise her glee.

  ‘See, I told you it wasn’t going to be all bad,’ muses Rachel as she bumps her shoulder into Paige.

  ‘Let’s see if the groom’s managed to get any sundries in,’ says Jack as he walks back into the house.

  ‘Does red wine fall under that category?’ asks Noah, following him.

  ‘I bloody hope so!’ Jack laughs. It’s the first time that he’s seemed genuinely relaxed.

  ‘This really is something,’ says Paige, as she and Rachel stay where they are, looking out into the darkness. The moon is shrouded in thin clouds, casting a sliver of light across the inky-black sea below, and Rachel can’t help but shudder again at the proximity of the ocean, and all that lies beneath its surface.

  ‘Here, do you want this?’ asks Paige, pulling her pashmina from her shoulders and offering it to Rachel.

  ‘Thanks,’ she says, gratefully taking it.

  Paige pulls the shawl up onto Rachel’s shoulder. ‘You’re very forgiving of her, you know,’ she says.

  ‘Who?’ asks Rachel, unnecessarily.

  ‘You know who.’

  Rachel shrugs. ‘What else am I supposed to do? She’s going to be family soon and you know what they say . . .?’

  Paige looks at her with raised eyebrows.

  ‘You can’t choose your family . . .’ Rachel goes on.

  ‘She should certainly come with an instruction to only take in small doses,’ says Paige, half laughing.

  Rachel chuckles. ‘I’ll give you that, but once the wedding’s out of the way, we’ll probably not see that much of her. It’s poor Will we should feel sorry for.’

  ‘Why have we got to feel sorry for him?’ asks Jack, returning to the terrace with two glasses of red wine. He hands one to Rachel, and Noah gives another to Paige.

  ‘Ssh,’ says Rachel, pulling Jack towards a sunken seating area. It’s only as she collapses into the cushions that she realizes that a firepit is simmering in front of her.

  ‘Don’t you find it tiresome?’ asks Paige, sitting down.

  ‘What?’ asks Jack.

  ‘Her!’ says Paige, nodding her head in the direction they’d last seen Ali.

  Jack takes a large slug of wine.

  ‘She’s just so full-on,’ says Paige. ‘Even before she’s had a drink.’

  ‘You’re full-on, even before you’ve had a drink,’ says Jack, laughing.

  ‘I get why she rubs some people up the wrong way,’ says Rachel, eager to dispel the growing sense that a ruckus is brewing. It often does when Jack and Paige get together, because they’re both so hot-headed and keen to prove themselves right that they could argue over the price of a pint of milk. ‘But I think she’s a laugh. The world would certainly be a duller place if she wasn’t in it, that’s for sure.’

  ‘You were moaning about her earlier,’ says Paige.

  ‘I wasn’t,’ says Rachel. ‘I was just talking about how she seems to wind some people up.’

  ‘Namely, Jack,’ states Paige.

  Rachel widens her eyes, wishing she hadn’t said anything.

  ‘Woah,’ says Jack, holding his hands up in the air. ‘Don’t bring me into this.’

  ‘But you have got a problem with her?’ presses Paige.

  ‘I didn’t say that.’

  ‘You didn’t have to,’ says Paige. ‘It’s written all over your face.’

  ‘And since when were you able to read my expressions?’

  Here we go, thinks Rachel, as she brings her feet up under her and swills her red wine around in its glass. Once they get started, Jack and Paige are like a sparring brother and sister who seem to enjoy getting a rise out of each other. It’s good-humoured for the most part, the pair of them playing a ping-pong game of banter – each of them desperate to win the volley – but it’s been known to get a little out of hand. Rachel suspects it’s because they both work in high-pressure jobs and are used to – perhaps even thrive on – being constantly challenged by someone else’s opinion.

  Defending herself, or someone else, is what Paige does for a living – ‘the Rottweiler with a handbag’ is how she’s known within the legal profession. If you were ever in trouble, s
he’s who you’d want onside to get you out of it. But whilst her ability to argue her way out of a paper bag may well be of use to someone accused of murder, when the same tactics were used to wage a war on your husband, it could be a little overkill.

  Rachel rolls her eyes at Noah and he smiles knowingly back, no doubt wondering, like her, how the four of them could ever be best friends. If a stranger looked at them, they would probably assume that it was her and Noah who were a couple; the pair of them sharing an easy, laid-back attitude that Jack and Paige couldn’t even imagine possessing. They were happy just bobbing along, seeing the good in everyone and everything, whilst Jack and Paige cast a cynical eye over the minutiae of life.

  Yet somehow, collectively, it worked. Perhaps because they all got something from each other’s spouses that they didn’t get from their own.

  ‘So, what’s your problem with her?’ Paige asks, like a dog with a bone.

  Jack looks into his glass, as if he’s deliberating whether to say what he’s about to say.

  ‘I . . .’ he starts, before looking around. ‘I . . . just don’t trust her.’

  ‘Why not?’ asks Paige.

  ‘P . . .’ says Noah, warning her not to push it.

  ‘I’ve got my reasons,’ is all that Jack says.

  Rachel leans forwards, her brow furrowed. ‘Is there something you’re not telling us?’

  Jack sighs heavily.

  ‘There’s clearly something playing on your mind,’ says Paige, doubling the pressure.

  He looks resignedly between Paige and Rachel. ‘I think she’s cheated on him.’ His words are almost inaudible.

  ‘What?’ exclaims Rachel, followed by a deafening silence from Paige. She daren’t look to see the ‘I told you so’ expression on her face.

  ‘How do you . . . how do you know?’ asks Rachel, as her heart breaks into a thousand pieces for poor Will, who’s like a brother to her.

  ‘Rick at work,’ said Jack. ‘He told me he’d been sleeping with her for a couple of months.

  ‘But does he know . . .?’ starts Rachel. ‘That she’s with Will and he’s your brother?’

  Jack shakes his head. ‘When they started going out, I told Ali I didn’t want anyone at work to know there was a connection. I wanted to keep everything professional.’

  ‘So, this Rick guy didn’t know he was revealing anything untoward?’ asks Paige.

  ‘No,’ says Jack. ‘It was just one of those situations in the pub after work and he said to a few of us that he had been “banging the hot girl who used to work in A&R”, for want of a better expression.’

  ‘Well, when did this happen?’ asks Rachel. ‘Was it recently or before her and Will got together?’

  Jack shrugs his shoulders as if he’s physically trying to unburden himself of the knowledge he’s been carrying for all this time. ‘He told me in the summer,’ he says. ‘I don’t know if it’s still going on, as he left shortly after.’

  Rachel can hardly think straight as her mind desperately tries to unravel the news and put it back together in a form that she’s happy with.

  ‘Does Will know?’ she says, when it doesn’t work.

  ‘I don’t think so,’ says Jack. ‘And I don’t want him to either.’

  ‘You can’t let him marry her,’ says Paige, her voice high-pitched.

  ‘Listen,’ says Jack, sounding suddenly authoritative. ‘I’ve had this going around on a loop in my head for months, wondering what I should do.’

  Now, it’s all beginning to fall into place, thinks Rachel. He’s been so wound up lately. ‘But don’t you think he deserves to be told?’ she offers meekly.

  He turns to face her. ‘You said yourself, that you’d never seen him so happy.’

  She nods miserably.

  ‘He’s a grown man who can hopefully see Ali for what she is,’ says Jack. ‘And if he’s happy with that, then who am I to stand between them? It doesn’t mean I have to like her, but I can put the face on to get through this weekend and I’d ask that you all do the same.’

  He looks at Paige with raised eyebrows, knowing that she’s the most likely to struggle with such a request.

  ‘I’ve never liked her,’ she hisses.

  ‘I shouldn’t have told you,’ says Jack, raking a hand through his hair.

  ‘I wish you hadn’t,’ says Rachel, wondering how on earth she’s going to stand by and let her trusting brother-in-law marry a woman who has been unfaithful to him.

  ‘But you have to promise to keep it to yourselves and not let it ruin the weekend.’

  ‘It just goes to show that you never know what goes on behind closed doors,’ says Noah.

  The four of them fall ominously silent when Ali and Will appear at the top of a flight of stairs leading onto a darkened corner of the patio. Rachel immediately feels herself going hot at the thought of them having heard what they’ve been saying. She searches their expressions for any tell-tale signs. There are none.

  ‘Oh my God, you guys,’ shrieks Ali, as irrepressible as ever. ‘You need to see our room.’ She claps her hands together like an excited child on Christmas morning.

  ‘Another drink, anyone?’ asks Paige, not even trying to disguise her indifference.

  ‘I’ll help you,’ says Jack, getting up. ‘What are we having?’

  ‘Just a glass of water for me, please,’ says Ali. ‘I’m still recovering from the flight.’ She pulls an apologetic face.

  ‘Will?’ asks Jack.

  ‘A glass of red, please, mate.’

  Rachel watches as Jack and Paige retreat to the kitchen, half-wishing that she’d been quicker off the mark.

  ‘Honestly, guys, our room is insane,’ squeals Ali. ‘It’s got windows into the pool, so you can see underwater.’

  ‘Wow,’ says Rachel lamely, willing herself out of the stupor that’s she’s become entrenched in. She can’t let Will see the change in her, no matter how dramatic the reason.

  ‘So, whose villa is this, exactly?’ asks Noah, proving he’s better at pretending everything is fine than she is.

  Will sits down on the plump cushions opposite Rachel, and Ali immediately plops down next to him, snuggling herself under his arm.

  ‘Funnily enough, it’s owned by the family of my business partner back in the UK,’ says Will, looking up at the villa. It’s now awash with cool blue lighting, giving Rachel the vibe of a club that she and Noah went to in Ibiza, the summer after they graduated from uni.

  ‘He and I met through the surfing school I set up down here,’ Will goes on.

  ‘God, I’d forgotten about that,’ says Noah.

  Rachel hates to admit it, but so had she. Will had had so many failed business ventures and half-cocked, hare-brained ideas, it was probably easier to remember the things he hadn’t done.

  ‘So, he’s who you work with on the water-sports company back home?’

  Will nods. ‘He had the finance to set us up with all the equipment, but it’s gone so well that we’re fifty-fifty partners now.’

  ‘Do you think it’s something you’ll look to expand even more?’ asks Noah.

  ‘I hope so,’ says Will. ‘It’s all very well having a water-sports company on a lake, but I miss the sea. We’re looking at premises down in Newquay, with the hope of setting up a surfing school again.’

  ‘I’d love to give surfing a go at some point,’ says Noah.

  Will smiles. ‘Well, you never know . . .’

  Ali bounces up and down in her seat. ‘Can I tell him?’ she says. ‘Please, please let me tell him.’

  Will looks at her with such warmth in his eyes that it almost makes Rachel cry. She doesn’t care if it’s still going on or not: she’ll never understand how Ali could ever cheat on him. She forces the thought to the back of her mind, because she has four days to get through and she can’t feel like this every time she looks at him.

  ‘Go on then,’ says Will, encouragingly.

  Ali sits up and looks between Rachel and Noah, her eyes al
ight with mischief.

  ‘So . . .’ she says, drawing it out. ‘We’ve got something to tell you.’

  Jack and Paige return with a bottle of wine and a glass of water, which Paige almost looks pained to offer to Ali. This trip is going to be harder than any of them could imagine.

  Ali waits until she has everyone’s undivided attention. ‘We’ve arranged a little surprise for tomorrow.’

  Rachel’s sure that she hears Paige groan. If she did, Ali chooses to ignore it.

  ‘The boys are going surfing, while us girls are having a yoga session on the beach.’ Ali smiles and puts her arms in the air. ‘Woo-hoo, surf’s up dudes.’

  There’s a tangible delay in reaction, and if it weren’t for Noah, Rachel’s unsure anyone would have said anything.

  ‘That’s awesome,’ he exclaims, eager to fill the void.

  Ali flashes a megawatt smile. ‘Will’s going to take you and Jack out and give you a lesson.’

  ‘Great,’ says Jack, desperately trying to show willing. ‘I haven’t been out on the waves for years.’

  ‘We’ll take it slow to get you familiarized,’ says Will. ‘And Noah, I’ve no doubt that once I show you the basics, you’ll be well on your way.’

  ‘And while they’re doing their thing, ladies,’ says Ali, ‘I’ve booked us a one-hour yoga session.’

  Will blows his cheeks out. ‘Though, I warn you not to follow Ali’s lead unless you want to do yourself some serious damage, because she can get herself into some insane positions.’

  ‘I bet she can,’ says Paige, looking as if she has a bad taste in her mouth.

  Rachel doesn’t need to look to know that Jack’s eyes will be boring into her best friend, sending a silent warning to watch what she says.

  Ali giggles, none the wiser. ‘I remember one time we were in Paris and we went to see the Moulin Rouge. I’m ashamed to say that I was so drunk, that I thought I could join the cast, so got up on the stage just before the final curtain and did the splits.’

  ‘That must have been some show,’ says Paige to Will, sarcastically.

  ‘Oh, she wasn’t with me,’ he says.

  ‘It was an ex-boyfriend,’ says Ali, grimacing. ‘I don’t think he was particularly impressed.’