Cottage at the Beach (The Off Season)

by Lee Tobin McClain

  They sat there in companionable silence for a couple of minutes, sheltered by a few long-needled pines. Trey inhaled their resinous fragrance, thinking over the conversation. It was good to be able to talk to someone who listened. He liked that in anyone, valued it in a friend.

  But with Erica, he also appreciated how beautiful she was, how good she smelled, how warm she felt beside him. He hadn’t been this close to a woman who wasn’t a physical therapist in a long time.

  It was just too much to take. He slid his hand along the back of the bench, reaching with his other hand to touch her face.

  She looked up at him, eyes wide, lips soft, full, yielding.

  He leaned closer, let his thumb play along her cheek, feeling the fine sheen of sweat.

  His heart started a heavy pounding in his chest. She was just too kissable. He leaned closer.

  She seemed to move a little toward him.

  Yeah, he was going to kiss her.

  But just as his lips were about to touch hers, she jerked back and pulled away, her hand going to her mouth.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked her, because he really wanted to know. Almost as much as he really wanted to kiss her.

  “No, Trey, this isn’t a good idea,” she said.

  He couldn’t get out of the mood that fast. “Why not?”

  Her breath was coming quick. And it wasn’t anger; it was desire. He knew enough about women to understand that.

  “It’s just not a good idea,” she said. “We’re working together, all that kind of thing.”

  “Okay, I get that.” He pulled back, but left his arm along the back of the bench. The last thing he wanted was to violate her sense of what was appropriate, in the workplace or anywhere else. He didn’t want to be that guy, ever.

  “Thanks,” she said, her voice shaky.

  “Are you always so logical?” He softened the question with a smile as he took deep breaths to try to calm down his body.

  “Yeah,” she said. “Yeah, I am. I’ve had to be.” Her eyes were still a little warm, dreamy, but reality was starting to come back into them. She scooted away on the bench, then stood. “I should get back to the house,” she said. “I don’t like to leave Amber and Hannah alone too long.”

  He was pretty sure that wasn’t really the reason. Amber seemed like a very competent adult, for all that she was struggling with a serious illness, and Hannah was a responsible teenager. Erica was just making an excuse.

  She’s being smart, he told himself. Getting involved would be a mistake, not just because of their connection at the school, but also because he was leaving in a couple of months. He wanted to go back to his job, which was notoriously hard on marriages. Especially in his case.

  “Here, I’ll take Ziggy,” she said. “If you just want to, you know, stay here a little while.”

  “Do you want me to do that?” He wasn’t sure what made him keep needling her. Maybe it was the passionate woman he glimpsed beneath the proper schoolteacher.

  “Honestly? Yes. I’d be more comfortable.” She held out her hand for Ziggy’s leash.

  He didn’t give it to her, not right away. “Do you want me to work with him a little more and bring him back to your place later?”

  “No!” She looked nervous, maybe at the thought of seeing him again later on tonight. His good mood started to disintegrate, because that look on her face was definitive. She definitely didn’t want him around.

  He handed over the leash, and she clicked her tongue to the big dog, who stood amicably and leaned against her.

  “See you later. Thanks for the walk.” She turned and walked off toward the direction they’d come from, not glancing back even when Ziggy did.

  Leaving Trey to wonder: How were they going to go forward as colleagues after that awkward moment? After realizing they were totally attracted to each other?

  Or had the attraction really been just on his side?

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  SATURDAY MORNING, ERICA woke up with a smile on her face and realized she’d been half dreaming. Unfortunately, she was half dreaming about Trey and the fact that he’d nearly kissed her.

  Which was not a good thing. She couldn’t get involved with her volunteer, for heaven’s sake. Her boss would use that against her and eliminate the academy program faster than she could turn around.

  Besides, she’d seen how Trey acted with that family at Goody’s. He liked kids, and he should have the opportunity to have them.

  Even that thought was just her being ridiculous. The man had tried to kiss her in a casual moment, while walking a dog. It wasn’t like he’d proposed marriage and asked her to bear his children.

  The thing was, she’d been really drawn to him last night. He’d been sweet with her family, and lovely on the walk. He was good with Ziggy. And he’d intuitively understood about the situation on the island, how the place was changing, how the wealthy tourists contrasted with the locals’ ordinary way of life. She didn’t know a lot about his background—he didn’t volunteer much—but if he’d grown up in foster care, it probably hadn’t been an affluent one. Maybe that was why he had empathy for the working-class people of Pleasant Shores.

  She threw off the covers and got out of bed, startling Ziggy into an excited yelp. “Shh,” she scolded in a whisper. “You’ll wake up Amber and Hannah.”

  She opened her bedroom door and held Ziggy’s collar as they walked quietly downstairs. As they passed Amber’s room, though, she heard her sister’s low, raspy voice. “Hey, sis. Erica.”

  She opened her sister’s door. Amber sat up in bed, wearing a hoodie, the covers pulled to her waist.

  Erica looked closer and saw that her sister’s face was more pale and drawn than usual, and a claw of fear gripped her stomach. She sat down on the corner of the bed. “How are you doing?”

  “Not great.” Amber’s voice sounded weak. “Didn’t sleep well last night and I can tell this is going to be a bad day. Do you think...?” She trailed off.

  “Whatever you need. You know I’m here for you.”

  “Could you take Hannah out to do something fun today? I hate for her to see me like this. Last night did me in.”

  Why hadn’t Erica kept a closer eye on her sister, watched for signs of fatigue? “Oh, honey, I’m sorry. It was so much fun, but I didn’t think about how it might tire you out.”

  “Don’t be sorry. You know I treasure every memory I can make with Hannah. And with you.” Her mouth twisted. “It’s just...there’s a cost. So if you could get her out, have some fun with her, I could get some extra rest.” She hesitated, then added, “Maybe you could even get her to talk to you a little. She’s so careful with me.”

  “Absolutely.” She studied her sister’s face, took hold of her ice-cold hand. “Do you want me to run you to the doctor, though?”

  “No. I just need rest.”

  Erica bit her lip. Worrying went with the territory of having a seriously ill sister, but she had to trust that Amber would ask for medical help if she needed it. “Do you want us to take Ziggy, or do you want him here with you?”

  “If you can go run him around first, I want him to stay with me. C’mere, Zig.”

  The giant dog obligingly jumped up onto the bed and started licking Amber’s face, then backed up into a play bow, tail wagging.

  “I will definitely run his energy off,” Erica promised. “I have some energy to run off myself today. We’ll go out on the beach.” Hopefully, she wouldn’t see Trey there. He walked on the beach sometimes, but not on any regular schedule that she could discern.

  “Take your time. Hannah will sleep in.” Amber leaned back against the pillows and Ziggy flopped down beside her. The big dog seemed to know to be more gentle with Amber than he was with Erica or Hannah. “How’d your walk with the movie star go?”

  “It was a nice walk, but...” She trai
led off. On the one hand, she’d like to confide in her big sister. On the other hand, she’d likely get a lecture in return, something about letting love in and enjoying the moment and life being short.

  “But what?” Amber pressed her.

  “Nothing. No big deal. I just...I just need to make sure I don’t see too much of him. He’s a little overwhelming.”

  Amber snorted. “And that’s a bad thing? Didn’t you ever just want to be overwhelmed by a guy?”

  Erica thought. Had she ever wanted that? Yes, in fact she had. She’d wanted it last night. But she knew better than to go for it, because it would upset so many other parts of her life. “I think that I’ll leave the overwhelmed part to you,” she said. “I’m just the boring schoolteacher.”

  “That’s not how he was looking at you last night.” Amber tilted her head, smiling at Erica.

  How had Trey been looking at her? Or was Amber making it up to make Erica feel good? “Come on, Ziggy,” she said, standing up and snapping her fingers. “Let’s go for a run.”

  Ziggy bounded off the bed and rushed out the door.

  “We’ll say bye before we go if you’re awake,” Erica said, and blew her sister a kiss. “Love you.”

  * * *

  LATE THAT AFTERNOON, Erica glided after Hannah into the bike rental lot. She was breathing hard, her face was hot and she felt worlds better.

  Unfortunately, she hadn’t gotten her niece to open up to her like she’d hoped to do.

  “Thanks for riding with me,” Erica said as she parked her bike. “I know it wasn’t your first choice of activities.”

  “Thanks for taking me shopping,” Hannah said. “It was nice to get back to civilization again. I mean, I like Pleasant Shores, but there’s not a whole lot going on there.”

  “Speaking of not much going on,” Erica said, “where’s the guy we rented the bikes from? This place looks deserted.”

  Hannah looked at the sign on the bike hut. “They’ll be back in fifteen minutes,” she said.

  “Off-season attitude,” Erica said. “Let’s sit and look out at the bay and wait.”

  They plopped down onto a bench that faced the water. Now that they weren’t moving, the sun felt too warm, and Erica slipped off her jacket and leaned back, face to the sun. “I’m so relaxed right now,” she said.

  “Me, too.” Hannah was looking at her phone, rearranging her hair.

  They’d taken turns choosing activities. First, at Hannah’s suggestion, they’d spent a couple of hours at the outlet mall. Hannah had gotten two new outfits for summer. Erica had, at Hannah’s urging, bought a cute shirt that fit a little tighter and looked a little younger than what she usually wore.

  Then Erica had talked Hannah into bike riding, and they’d rented bikes at one of the few stands that was open throughout the year, in a town halfway between the outlet mall and Pleasant Shores. Trinity Bay was a slightly bigger town with a bike path that wove through the marshland and along the bay. A kid from the school worked at the bike hut, and Erica was pretty sure that was the reason Hannah was reapplying mascara.

  It was good to see Hannah doing what teenagers did normally. She was overly responsible at home. But she still had a slightly fake smile on her face, a veiled look to her eyes. Erica’s hope of getting her to open up hadn’t happened. She took a risk, asked a question deeper than whether Hannah liked a particular style of dress. “How are you and Kaitlyn and Venus getting along?” she asked.

  Hannah shrugged. “I mean, it’s not like we’re best friends, but we aren’t fighting. I talk to Venus at lunch sometimes.”

  “That’s good.” She hesitated, then plunged ahead. “Look, Hannah, it has to be tough, having your mom so sick. You take on a lot, too much.”

  Hannah looked out over the water. “Yeah,” she said. “It’s hard sometimes.”

  “Of course it’s hard. It would be hard for anyone. But how are you feeling?”

  Hannah’s jaw tightened. She glanced sideways at Erica as if assessing how much she’d have to reveal to escape this conversation. “I get sad sometimes, but I’m fine.”

  Should she confront her niece on her stonewalling, as she would one of her students? Erica leaned forward, elbows on knees. It was worth a try. “Can you just let go of being the perfect daughter and niece for once? It’s pretty clear that you’re able to manage a tough situation well, better than most kids could. You don’t take drugs or commit crimes or even get bad grades. But you don’t let it hang out, show your real self.”

  Hannah’s head snapped around to face Erica. “You’re telling me I’m not being real? What about you?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You act like a social worker or a nurse with Mom and me.”

  Erica’s face warmed as she thought about what Hannah had just said. Was she being fake, so fake she didn’t even know it herself? Or was Hannah just doing a skillful dodge to escape the spotlight? “Today I want to talk about you,” she said firmly. “If you want to be happy—not fake happy, but real happy—you need to let people in. Your mom, me, your friends.”

  “I let people in!” Hannah stood, shoved her hand in her pocket and pulled out a couple of bills. She walked to the soda machine against the bike rental hut and fed them in. “You want something?” she called back over her shoulder.

  “No, I’m fine.”

  “Sure you are,” Hannah called back in a snotty voice as she made her selection.

  Erica felt her mouth curving up into a smile. At least she’d gotten a rise out of Hannah, a moment of normal teen snarkiness.

  Hannah came back and sat on the bench, but farther away from Erica than she’d been before.

  Erica drew a breath and dived back in. “You know, you’re kind of stuck with me here. You might as well tell me how you’re doing with your mom’s illness. Or, shoot, I’ll take anything. Your friends. Missing your old home. Grades.”

  Hannah turned toward her, slowly, eyebrows lowered over blazing eyes. “You really want to know how I feel?”

  “Yes, honey. I do.”

  “I’m scared, okay?” Hannah bit her lip, then spoke again. “Really scared. I can’t imagine a world without Mom in it, but you and her and her doctors have as much as said she’s going to die. Then what am I going to do?”

  “Oh, honey.” Erica moved closer, arms reaching for her niece.

  But Hannah crossed her arms over her chest and turned away from Erica. Staring—glaring—out toward the water, she went on. “You know what else? I’m mad at Mom for not taking care of herself better. Why didn’t she get more tests and eat more vegetables and exercise, instead of going out on dates all the time? Doesn’t she love me enough to take care of herself? I don’t have a dad. What’ll it be like when I don’t have a mom, either? When there’s nobody at graduation, or my wedding, or when I have a b-b-baby?”

  Her heart twisting, Erica put a hand on Hannah’s back, swallowing the lump in her own throat. When Hannah didn’t flinch away, she rubbed in slow circles. She had a feeling there was more.

  She was right.

  “And that’s if I can even have a baby. What if I have the bad gene, too? What if I have to get my girl parts removed, just like you?”

  Ouch. Was that how the teenager saw her?

  But this wasn’t about Erica; it was about Hannah. “I had my ovaries removed, and I can’t have children anymore. There’s a fifty-fifty chance you could carry the gene. But by the time you’re old enough to think about your options, there might be new solutions. There’s all kind of research going on now.”

  Hannah barely seemed to hear her. “I know I shouldn’t even be complaining about this. You’re in worse shape, because of how bad you always wanted to have kids. And Mom’s in the worst shape of all. I’m just worried about some stuff, and that’s why I don’t waste everyone’s time talking about it!” She jerked away from Er
ica’s touch, scooted to the end of the bench and started scrolling through her phone, shoulders hunched.

  A clear “leave me alone” stance.

  Erica sank back against the bench, feeling defeated. It looked like she had just succeeded in making an unhappy girl more unhappy.

  Maybe she shouldn’t have probed into Hannah’s feelings. After all, the teenager was doing pretty well in school and at home. Erica wasn’t surprised to learn that Hannah had a lot going on beneath the surface; she’d always been a rather private child, even before her mother’s illness.

  She should have reassured Hannah that she, at least, would be there for her in the future. She’d already talked with Amber about taking care of Hannah if need be, if Amber got too sick or, God forbid, died. Of course she would be there for Hannah’s wedding and the babies she might have. She had always been the most involved of aunts, but maybe Hannah needed continued reassurance that she would be there.

  On the other hand, no matter how great an aunt was, what you really wanted was your own mother. And it looked like Hannah had had about all the deep discussion she could take today.

  “Sorry, sorry.” That young man who had rented them the bikes came rushing back toward the bike stand. “Had to run down and take my mama some food. Hope you weren’t waiting long.” He slid open the garage-type door of the little hut.

  “It’s fine,” she and Hannah said, almost in unison. They both stood to help push their bikes inside.

  “Sit. I’ll do it,” he said.

  Erica looked over at her niece, who was watching him in a rapt kind of way. He was a cute kid, probably about Hannah’s age or a year or two older, with brown skin, black hair and muscular shoulders on an otherwise slender frame. No wonder Hannah had puppy dog eyes. She hadn’t been willing to put herself out for Pete at the ice cream parlor, not without an assist from her mom, but she appeared a lot more enthusiastic about this boy.

  “Go talk to him,” Erica suggested quietly.