Cottage at the Beach (The Off Season)

by Lee Tobin McClain

  There was the park with walking paths beside the little lake they skated on in winter. She and Drew had taught both girls to ride their bikes on those paths.

  She drew in a deep breath and let it out, blinking back tears. This was why she avoided coming back to Baltimore. Thanks a lot, Drew, for making me fall apart again.

  But that was what Drew did. One look at him and she remembered all the good times. But if she spent an hour with him, she remembered exactly why they’d split.

  She pulled into the same gas station where they’d always filled their tanks and ran inside to get something to drink.

  “Ria! Is that you?”

  Ria turned, and there was Sheila Ryan, one of those mom friends with whom she’d been thrown together for years. They didn’t really like each other, but they pretended to because that was what you did for your kids.

  “Hi, Sheila. How’s it going?” Ria prayed that Sheila wouldn’t ask her the same question.

  Sheila went into a description of her thirteen-year-old daughter’s ascent up the cheerleading squad ladder, her status on the honor roll and the volunteer work she was doing to help shelter animals.

  “How are Sophia and Kaitlyn doing?” she asked.

  “Oh, just great. We love living at the shore.”

  “I was sorry to hear about your divorce. That must be a big adjustment, for you and for the girls.” Sheila’s words were kind, but her eyes were just a little too avid and curious. Whatever Ria said would find its way around the gossip circuit.

  She sucked in a deep breath, let it out and forced a smile. “Thanks. It’s definitely an adjustment. But I’m running a little motel, and that’s fun.” Except that it’s always at risk of going under. “And the girls love their new school.” Well, Sophia did, so that was at least half-true.

  She made an excuse and escaped, and only when she got to the car did she realize that she hadn’t gotten the drink she’d gone in for. She’d never been good at the competitive mom games. They had always made her uncomfortable.

  As she drove the rest of the way to the police station, she wondered whether it had been like that for the girls, too. Had they felt the competition of their upper-middle-class neighborhood, where she and Drew had stretched so hard to be able to afford their little brownstone?

  At the police station, more memories assailed her. She’d come here so often over the years, to pick Drew up, to bring him something he’d forgotten, to just say hello, when the girls had been small and she was a stay-at-home mom.

  Now she didn’t fit anymore. The new receptionist didn’t know her, couldn’t tell her anything about Drew, citing confidentiality. Fortunately, she found his friend Michael and begged and pleaded her way into getting Drew’s address.

  “He shouldn’t have fallen out of touch with you, Ria,” Michael said. “But he’s had a tough time. If you want, I can try to call him and let him know that you need to see him.”

  “Thanks, but I’ve come this far.” Then what he’d said registered. “He’s not working here anymore?”

  “He didn’t tell you?”

  “Tell me what?”

  Michael studied her, slowly shook his head. “He’s on a leave,” he said.

  “Is he okay?” Her heart pounded wildly.

  Michael opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again and nodded. “Pretty sure he is,” he said. “Honestly, I haven’t spoken to him for a few weeks.” He looked like he wanted to say more, but someone called him from the back hallway, and he patted her shoulder and left.

  Something was definitely going on. And she was going to find out what it was. It wasn’t right that Drew had left her out of his life this far. Not that she had to know everything—they were divorced, after all—but they had kids together, kids who needed him. That anger mixed with worry, because Drew was nothing if not responsible. Had he changed that much?

  She drove toward the address Michael had given her. The neighborhood wasn’t nearly as nice as where they used to live. Unwanted sympathy washed over her. Drew did provide enough child support to allow her to live in Pleasant Shores with the girls. He’d taken the hit to his own lifestyle, unlike a lot of divorced dads, and she appreciated that.

  She turned onto his street and was looking for a parking place when she saw Drew across the street.

  With a woman.

  A stylish, laughing, tall, thin blonde. She seemed very animated as she talked with Drew, who was looking straight ahead. They were both tall enough that she could see them over the row of parked cars. She pulled crookedly into a parking place, nearly hitting the car parked in front of her.

  He replaced her, he’d really replaced her.

  She had never thought that would happen. Her chest contracted around a hole where her heart had been.

  It was true, then. He didn’t love Ria anymore. She’d gotten too stressed, too focused on motherhood instead of marriage, too fat. But she’d thought in her heart of hearts that they’d get back together someday.

  Drew stumbled a little, and the woman leaned closer, seeming to steady him. Drew never stumbled. Had he been drinking? During the day?

  She got out of her car, closing the door quietly, and sneaked across the street to watch them. The woman glanced back once, and Ria waited for Drew to do the same, but he didn’t. He was focused straight ahead. His walk was a little halting, not his usual confident stride. Had he been injured?

  There was something about the way the woman was poised next to him, like she was ready to grab his arm, but not quite touching him. Ria walked closer and her heart nearly stopped when she saw the white cane Drew was holding. It had a little rolling ball at the end, and he was moving it back and forth to feel his way down the street, and the truth slammed into her like a gale-force wind.

  Drew was blind.

  CHAPTER TWO

  DREW MARTIN USED his cane to find the curb and leaned forward a little, listening to the traffic sounds. “Is it...?” he started to ask Meghan, and then shook his head. “Wait. I can figure it out.”

  “Good.” She waited with him, and he sucked in a deep breath and started across the busy street.

  “Just a little to your left,” she said quietly behind him, and he looked down. In his small remaining window of vision, he could see that he was veering off the crosswalk. He corrected, then finished his way across and navigated the steep curb easily.

  “That was great,” Meghan enthused as they continued on down the street, and Drew felt a small rush of pride.

  Ridiculous, when all he’d done was to cross the street.

  “Drew?”

  Drew froze. He knew the sound of that voice better than he knew the sound of his own. He had heard it raised in anger, racked with childbirth pain, husky with passion. He had heard it say, “I do.”

  And he didn’t want Ria to see him like this. He turned away and started back in the opposite direction.

  “Drew! Wait!”

  Meghan gripped one of his arms and Ria—it must be Ria, it smelled like her and it felt like her—gripped the other.

  “Hey, you were about to walk out into traffic,” Meghan said. “You know better than that.”

  But he couldn’t listen to her when his wife’s soft voice drilled into his ears, his mind. “Drew. It’s Ria.”

  “I know,” he said. He wished desperately that he could see her face, see how she was reacting to the person he was now. On the other hand, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. “How did you find me?”

  “Oh, you know each other!” Meghan sounded happy, and he knew why. She was worried about him, thought he was too isolated. Not that it was any of her business—she was just his orientation and mobility specialist—but she took an interest, as they said.

  “This is perfect. Our session was just ending. I’m Meghan,” she said, obviously to Ria.

  “Ria.” Hi
s ex-wife sounded a little dazed, and that was understandable. She had just learned that the father of her children was blind. But, warm like always, she reached across him to shake Meghan’s hand.

  “Do you want help going back to your apartment, Drew?” Meghan asked.

  What was he supposed to say? He did need a little help still, but that was humiliating in front of Ria.

  “I’ll help him,” Ria said, and that was worse.

  “Great!” Meghan reminded him about their next appointment and left, and he was standing on the street with a rapid heartbeat, his face and neck and ears impossibly hot.

  “Do you want to...take my arm or something?” Ria nudged him with it. “You’re in the brick building, right? Apartment, what is it, 3B?”

  “Uh-huh.” He held her arm reluctantly and breathed in the smell of her, a smell as familiar as life to him. Their hips jostled as they went up the steps to his building, and he was so disconcerted that he stumbled a little going inside. Sweat dripped down his chest.

  Between his explanations and her eyes, they got to his door and he pulled out his key. Of course, it took him four tries to unlock his apartment.

  Navy gave a bark of greeting and pushed her nose into his hand, and his blood pressure went down a little just from the friendly feel of his former police dog, now pet.

  “Navy!” Ria sounded happy—much happier than when she’d seen Drew—and he tipped his head back and could see her kneeling to pet the yellow Lab she’d loved.

  “Come on in,” he said. Then his face heated when he realized he didn’t know whether the place was really neat and clean, or a mess. They hadn’t done much with that after his initial orientation and mobility session, because his main concern had been to figure out how to navigate the world outside.

  The two-month residential program where he’d gone as soon as he’d gotten out of the hospital encouraged setting priorities.

  Unfortunately, they’d given him no guidance on what to do when his ex-wife paid a surprise visit.

  “Have a seat,” he said, gesturing toward his small living room. “Want something to drink?”

  “Sure,” she said. “Do you have a Coke?”

  “Think so.” He made his way into the kitchen and leaned way into his refrigerator, hoping to cool off. He studied cans, which was mostly what he had in there, as he wasn’t much of a cook. He found one that he was pretty sure was Coke. Grabbed that and a beer from his beer shelf—he knew exactly where that was and he also knew he really needed one—and carried both to the front room. He felt his way to the couch and sat down and then realized he was way too close to her. He felt her scoot away at the same moment that he did.

  “Your friend Michael told me where you were living. And don’t be mad at him—I needed to know. Drew, what happened?” Her voice held curiosity and sympathy, but not pity. It was a fine line, but one he’d learned to recognize in the past three months.

  “Head injury,” he said. At his feet, Navy leaned into him.

  “Is the vision loss permanent?”

  “They don’t know.”

  They sat in silence for a couple of minutes. He wondered why she’d needed to find him. He kind of hoped it was because she missed him, but he doubted it. Anyway, now he was even less likely to be able to make a success of their marriage.

  When they’d gotten married, it had been under duress. All his long hours in rehab had given him time to reflect, and he’d figured out that they’d never really recovered from their rough start.

  “The girls need you,” she said.

  That was another personal failing: he wasn’t living up to what a father should be. “I’ll come and see them, make it up to them, after I figure this...” He waved a hand, vaguely. “Figure a few more things out,” he finished. “How are they doing?” Truth was, he missed his daughters terribly.

  “Sophia is fine, of course.” She paused, then added, “She misses you a lot.”

  His firstborn daughter, beautiful and competent and smart. His throat tightened as he thought about not being able to see his children, not now, maybe not ever. “What about Kaitlyn?”

  “She’s not doing so well.”

  An icy hand gripped Drew’s heart. He loved both girls equally, of course, but Kaitlyn was his special child. She needed him the most, and when Ria and Sophia had gone off doing the girlie things like shopping, Kaitlyn had usually chosen to stay home with him. When she was small, she’d sat and talked to him for hours while he puttered around the house, and he’d loved it. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  “I just can’t communicate with her.”

  Relief washed over him. Just mother-daughter stuff. “You push it too hard.”

  Ria sucked in a breath audibly. “I’ve had to go into school three times already this year. She’s having some kind of trouble with the other kids.”

  “Bullying? Fighting?”

  “She did get into a shoving match once, but mostly she just skips classes and hides in the bathroom.”

  “Why would she do that?”

  “If I knew that I’d tell you!” She blew out a breath. “Like I said, I can’t communicate with her. She won’t talk to me about it.”

  “Maybe I’ll come to Pleasant Shores.” The moment he said it, all the problems inherent in such a visit flooded into his mind. He couldn’t drive. He would have to learn to navigate a hotel room, new shops, new streets. He was somewhat familiar with the town from their visits to Ria’s mother, but knowing a place when you could see it wasn’t the same as knowing it blind.

  “Maybe you’ll come? When you feel like it?” Ria let out an exasperated snort. “Nice, Drew. Way to put your kids first.”

  His blood boiled. Could she ever, just once, look at things from his side?

  But he knew the answer. They were from different worlds, and they’d never managed to quite cross the gap between them. And she was right: no matter his own issues, kids came first.

  “Just don’t even bother. I’ll manage.” He heard her stand up.

  “Give me a minute to think!”

  “Oh, take your time,” she said sarcastically. “It’s only your children, after all.” He heard her steps click across the floor, heard the door slam shut.

  Navy whined a little.

  He let his head drop into his hands. Yes, he’d failed on so many levels, and, yes, he blamed himself. But Ria still had the power to totally piss him off.

  * * *

  THE NEXT FRIDAY, Ria walked down to the end suite at the Chesapeake Motor Lodge, wanting to check on the cleaning job done by a new worker. She unlocked the door, walked in...and froze.

  What was her ex-husband doing here?

  “Who’s there?” Drew asked. He reached a hand toward Navy, the yellow Lab who was so often by his side. “Check them out,” he said, and Navy trotted forward, tail wagging. She was a police dog and would stop any unknown intruder, but she’d been Ria’s pet.

  “It’s me,” Ria said as soon as she could find her voice. She knelt and rubbed on Navy, whom she’d always loved. “Sorry to walk in on you, but...what are you doing here?”

  Behind her, there was a sharp knock and then her mother was calling through the door. “Oh, no,” she said. “You beat me.”

  Ria shot a glare back at her mother. “We’re both a little surprised,” she said.

  “I should’ve called you or something,” Drew said. “It was just a lot to pull together, getting the transportation down here, canceling appointments. With this.” He waved a hand at his eyes, now covered in dark glasses. “The only ride I could find got me here a little early, and they gave me the key at the desk.”

  Then there went any option Ria had for being angry at Drew, because how could you be angry at a person struggling with his disability? Instead, she focused her anger on her mother. “Can we talk a minute?”

  “Sure,
honey. Drew, we’ll be right back to help you settle in.” And her mother led her out to the old-fashioned metal chairs outside the door of the suite.

  Ria was too agitated to sit down. Instead, she paced back and forth. “What did you do? How is he here?”

  “He needed a place to stay. He needs to be close to his kids, reconnect with them.”

  “Granted, but he didn’t seem at all interested in coming a few days ago. And now he’s here, in my motel, without my knowledge?” Her voice rose to a squeak as she glared at her mother.

  “He called me.”

  “He called you and not me?” Heat flashed through her body. “Why?”

  “He’s worried about Kaitlyn, honey. And I would never have gone over your head like this, but...I’m worried, too.”

  “So am I!” Her chest tightened, and she glanced toward the house, toward the window of Kaitlyn’s bedroom. She’d pleaded cramps and stayed home from school today, and Ria honestly didn’t know whether allowing that had been the right thing to do.

  Maybe having Drew here would help—she prayed that it would—but why had he acted so unwilling the other day? “Did you know he was blind?”

  Her mother nodded. “Visually impaired is a better term, I think. He told me he still has some sight. But he’ll need some extra help getting around, and that’s the only reason I suggested he stay here at the motel. I’m sorry, honey. I know it was interfering of me, but...” Her lips tightened and she, too, glanced toward Ria’s house. “Kaitlyn talked to me about Drew possibly coming, and she brightened up. It’s the only smile I’ve seen out of her in a long time.”

  Ria had opened her mouth to continue semi-yelling at her mother, but Mom’s words snapped her mouth shut. She bit her lip. Mom was awesome at this motherhood thing, and had a good sense about what kids needed. Ria, on the other hand, had made so many mistakes, a terrible, secret one in particular. She needed to defer to those who were better at parenting, for Kaitlyn’s sake.

  “I’ll help Drew as much as possible,” Mom said. “I was planning to come in and do a quick clean of the place, because that new cleaning guy didn’t get to it yet. He seems a little...eccentric.” She gestured down the row of rooms to where a frizzy-haired man in a tie-dyed shirt was rocking out to music on his earbuds.