Liam lifts his coffee cup into the air. “To Amy and all her dedication and hard work!”
“Here, here,” everyone says, holding up their cups.
Chapter 20
Three Months Later…
“Are you sure you have everything you need?” I ask Brittany as I’m gathering my things to leave for the day. “I won’t be able to come back. I’m the maid of honor. I’m very important in this wedding,” I joke.
“It’s fine. We’ve got it covered. Get out of here and have some fun.” She waves me off.
I smile and rush toward the door to get ready.
The wedding is being held on the ranch: the ceremony outside, and the reception in the barn they’ve been transforming for months.
When I pull up at the ranch, the place is already covered in people already setting up for the wedding. I grab my bag from the passenger seat and rush into the house and up the stairs to find Vesper pacing the floor in her wedding dress.
I drop my bag on the bed and place my hands on her shoulders, looking in her eyes. “You love Liam. Just calm down and remember all the reasons why you’re doing this.”
She nods and lets out a deep breath. “You’re right. I can do this,” she tells herself more than me.
I offer up a reassuring smile. “It’s your day. Yours and Liam’s, so don’t let anyone or anything else matter, okay?”
She nods, seeming to calm just a little. Suddenly, she looks me up and down with wide eyes. “What are you doing? Why aren’t you dressed? The wedding starts in twenty minutes!”
I laugh. “I just have to put my dress on and I’m ready to go. I did my hair and makeup at the coffee shop. Chill.” I grab the bag containing my dress from the wardrobe, and head into the bathroom.
I slip on the light pink dress and my brown cowgirl boots and look myself over. The dress is form-fitting on the bodice. There’s light beadwork that makes the top shine when the light hits it, and the bottom is loose and flowing, ending just beneath my knee. My dark hair flows down around me in loose curls, and my makeup is light, but done to perfection. I step out and Vesper inspects me.
“You look so beautiful!” she gushes, pulling me in for a hug.
“Are you kidding me? You’re the beautiful one here.”
She blushes as she turns away and grabs our bouquets. “Are you ready for this?” she asks, handing over my flowers.
“I’m ready. Are you ready?”
She smiles and nods. “I think I am.”
I walk past her and open the door. “Let’s do it then!”
As we’re walking down the steps, Aria, Vesper’s sister, runs in the door. “God, I thought I was late!”
Vesper laughs and pulls her in for a hug. “Glad you could make it on time, little sister.”
Dillon walks up to my side—he replaced Tyler in the wedding. “Are you ready?” He offers his arm.
I nod and force a smile, trying not to think of whose arm I should be on. “Yep.” I slip my arm through his.
Aria meets up with Ethan, and they start walking outside, toward the aisle.
As Dillon leads me down the aisle, I can’t help but to think of Tyler. I should be with him.
These last few months, I’ve worked hard on moving forward without Tyler in my life. I’ve surrounded myself with friends and family and dedicated all my time to my growing business that’s doing extremely well. My mom started working for me as planned, and even though she’s still living with Ethan, she’ll be moving into her own apartment soon—in our building, so she’ll always have one of us when she feels the call of the past.
I’ve even started dating here and there, refusing to turn back into the old me that only cared about hookups. Now, I’m focused on finding Mr. Right, and I don’t plan on settling until I know it’s one hundred percent right. However, living up to Tyler’s memory isn’t an easy task.
Watching as Liam and Vesper say their vows, I vow to myself that that will be me one day. I’ll have all of this: my perfect match, the dream wedding, a happy ending. And if I don’t, it won’t be from lack of trying. That little voice in my head still tries to pipe in and tell me otherwise, but I refuse to listen to her anymore. The future is wide open, and I plan on taking every opportunity I can to get to where I want to be—where I deserve to be.
After the ceremony, everyone moves into the barn. Liam and Vesper make the rounds to greet their guests, and I sit down with a glass of champagne, watching as everyone moves back and forth on the dance floor.
I’m happy for Vesper, but I’m also a little sad for myself. I wish Tyler could be here to share this with me.
Almost as if God heard my wish, movement catches my eye and draws it toward the darkened corner. Slowly, Tyler comes into view, wearing a black tux.
My heart skips a beat and my breathing stops.
I watch as he slowly closes the distance between us.
“May I have a seat?” he asks, snapping me out of my daze.
I shrug. “It’s a free country.” I pick up my flute and finish it off.
“Amy, I—”
“Don’t, Tyler.” I point my finger, silencing him. “I don’t know what you’re doing here. If you came here for Liam, he’s over there.” I point toward them, talking with their family. “But if you’re here for me, don’t waste your breath.” I stand and push my way through the crowd, heading outside for some fresh air and grabbing a bottle of wine on the way.
Once outside, I look behind me to find that he isn’t following me. I can finally breathe easy. I can’t leave my best friend’s wedding, but I can’t go back in there knowing Tyler is here. So instead, I take a walk. I follow the old dirt road I’d driven down so many times before, until I get to the cabin that’s no longer being used. I don’t even look at it. Instead, I keep following the trail, through the forest, until I get to the opening.
I bring the bottle to my lips and take a long swig. The fruity-bitter mixture overwhelms my senses and dulls the pain in my chest just a bit. I know I was wishing for him to be here, but this isn’t exactly what I wanted. I want things to be like they used to be. I wish Tyler never would’ve left. I wish he’d been here with me these last few months. I wish he would’ve come to this wedding with me and walked me down the aisle. I didn’t want this awkward meeting that’s making me leave my best friend’s wedding.
I sit on a fallen tree and gaze out over the creek that’s slowly trickling downstream. Other than the sound of the water, it’s deathly silent. Not a creature moves. It’s so quiet, I can hear my own heartbeat and the air escaping my mouth with each breath. I lean my head back and look at the dark sky and the million little white stars. It’s a cloudless night, and the air is hot and sticky around me. The moisture in the air clings to my exposed flesh like a second skin, making me feel hot and amped up, unsure of how this night will end.
The sound of a twig breaking behind me causes me to whip my head around in time to see Tyler stepping through the opening. The air in my lungs leaves in a rush, and my shoulders visibly fall. I turn my head back to the creek and take another drink, wanting to prepare myself for whatever this is.
“I’d ask you if I could sit, but I’m afraid of the answer,” he jokes, sitting beside me.
“What are you doing here, Tyler?” I ask, not removing my eyes from the flow of water.
“I have a lot of explaining to do.” His voice is deep, and he sounds unsure and nervous.
“Just…save your breath.” I stand and spin around to face him. “I don’t need to hear it.” I shake my head. “When you left, I was devastated. I cried for days. I just about gave poor Vesper a heart attack!” I lift my hand and motion toward the party. “But you know what? I got over it. I forced myself to get out of bed, and I went and opened my coffee shop, on my own. I didn’t need you then, Tyler, and I don’t need you now.” I begin to walk away, but he stands and tugs me back by my wrist.
My heels on the uneven ground cause me to lose my balance—well, that or the wine—and I
stumble into his arms, his chest pressing against mine. Our eyes lock in the darkness, and suddenly, I’m breathless. Why is my body responding to his touch this way? It’s completely betraying me. I want to hate him and hate his touch for hurting me as badly as he did. Why did my heart skip a beat the second his hand touched me? Why won’t my lungs work when I look into his eyes? Why is my stomach tightening in knots right now?
“Please,” he whispers, breath blowing across my dry lips, “just hear me out, Amy.”
With his words, the world begins moving again and I’m allowed to take a breath. I pull away. “If I listen to what you have to say, then you’ll let me walk away?”
He nods. “If you still want to.”
I laugh. “Oh, I’m sure I’ll want to. I don’t know what you could possibly say to change the way I feel about you now.” I walk around him, back to the log, and have a seat while taking another long drink.
Tyler takes his place next to me and lets out a long breath. “My father called me after breakfast the morning I was at your place. He told me that James was going through something and that he was leaving. He told me he was sorry for the way everything went down in the past, and that he’s always known that I was the son who should have been given the ranch. He knew James had no interest in it, but it was stuck in his head that it should go to the oldest son. He asked me to come home to take over the ranch. He said he’d sign it over to me as soon as I got home.”
He looks at me and takes my hand in his. I don’t bother pulling it away. Right now, I just want to enjoy the feeling of the tingles coursing through my body when he touches me. It’s been so long since I felt them. Even if things are over between us, I still want to feel the reaction he causes in me.
“That day, I had some thinking to do. I thought about blowing him off—letting the ranch get taken away, letting him learn his lesson. But then I thought of you, and of all the work you were putting in with your mom.” He shakes his head and lets out a deep breath. “I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let the ranch I grew up on and loved get sold off to the bank. I made the decision to go home and take over ownership, even if that meant you’d hate me for the rest of your life.”
I jerk my hand away, taking another drink. “Why tell me this? I think you explained it all pretty well in the letter you left.” I stand and scoff. “A letter! You couldn’t even tell me goodbye! Did I really mean that little to you?”
“No!” He stands, closing the distance between us, but not touching me. “I couldn’t tell you goodbye. Don’t you understand? I knew that if I waited for you to wake up, I’d change my mind. I wouldn’t have been able to say those words to you. I loved you, Amy. I still do. And I hate myself for hurting you. I can’t even look at myself in the mirror without feeling the self-loathing that settles over me.”
“Why are you back now then? You got away, Tyler. Why come back?”
“I was home for nearly two months when James came back. He sat my father and me down and apologized for everything. He said that all these years, he’s resented our dad because he felt like he was held back and didn’t get to see the world—didn’t get to find himself. But the two months he was gone, he was searching for his place in life. It took leaving before he realized that he was right where he was meant to be all along. He wanted the ranch back.”
“So what happened?” I ask for reasons I don’t understand.
“I was pissed. I told them what I gave up coming home. I told my dad that he couldn’t give it back, that he’d already signed everything over to me, and I stormed out. James caught up with me and we had a long chat. We made a deal.”
“What deal?”
“He knew I wanted the ranch, but he could tell that I wanted you more. Even though I was home and had everything I thought I wanted, I was still unhappy. So he took out a loan, and bought me out of my half of the ranch.”
“What does that even mean, and why does it have anything to do with me?” I shake my head to clear it of the wine fog I’m now in.
“It means the ranch is no longer mine. I packed and moved back here over a month ago.”
My face wrinkles. “A month ago?” My voice rises on its own. “A fucking month? And you’re just now letting me know this?” I turn to leave but he jumps in my way. His eyes are wide with fear and panic.
“I knew you had to hate me after everything, and I knew that if I just walked into your coffee shop, you’d probably have me thrown out. I wanted to wait until I had things set up—until I had something that could show you how much you’ve inspired me.”
A snort escapes. “Tyler…” I pinch the bridge of my nose and close my eyes.
“I took that money and came back here where I bought a ranch of my own—a ranch I want to share with you, Amy. I love you, and I want to show you that I’m not going anywhere ever again. The ranch is in rough shape, but I had enough money to get the loan, and enough money left over that I can get everything started up.”
“That’s great, Tyler. I’m happy for you,” I whisper as I step past him, heading for the trail.
“There’s a house on the property,” he blurts out, sounding scared and nervous. “It’s a cabin with a fireplace in the living room. There’s a kitchen big enough to cater any family holiday, and there are three bedrooms upstairs—one for us, and two more for our future family.”
I freeze with his words, and he rushes up to me.
“I want you, Amy. I want you and me together every day for the rest of our lives.” He pulls me against his chest, causing my body to feel like it’s been set on fire. “When I looked at that house, do you know what I saw?”
I can barely move, but he sees my head shake.
“I saw you in that kitchen, preparing our son’s first birthday cake. I saw the two of us sitting in front of that fireplace, holding on to one another like the world would end if we let go. And I saw two little kids running up and down the hallway—one little boy who had your eyes, and a little girl with your attitude.” He laughs. “That’s what I want, Amy. I don’t want my family’s ranch. I want you.” Without another word, he closes the distance between us, pressing his lips against mine.
I freeze, not knowing what I want. More than anything, I want Tyler, but can I trust him? Could I survive losing him again in the future? This last time nearly broke me.
He knows I’m not opening up to him, and he moves his hands to tangle in my hair, pulling me closer. His tongue intertwines with mine, and in this kiss, I can feel him pleading for me to forgive him. He’s begging me to forget the past and pick up where we left off. And he’s telling me how much he loves me while searching for the love I hold for him.
And even though I know all of this, I’m still not sure I can let him back in.
When he realizes that I’m not the girl who can be swept off her feet by a romantic kiss in the dark forest, he pulls away, hurt evident on his face.
“I’m so sorry, Amy,” he whispers. “Please forgive me.”
I shake my head. “I don’t know if I can, Tyler.”
He seems to crumble right in front of me, falling to his knees as he looks up at me.
“I love you, Tyler. I do. I can’t deny that. But you hurt me. You hurt me more than I’ve ever been hurt before. And I’m just starting to heal. I don’t know if I can put myself on the line again like that.”
He takes my hand, squeezing it tightly. “I know, and I’ll forever be sorry. I’ll completely understand if you can’t forgive me. I mean, I was broken when you found me. I was an asshole who did nothing but take advantage of you. And you pushed me to be the man I am today. If it hadn’t been for you, I’d still be that pathetic man I was a year ago. You gave me everything, and I did nothing but hurt you.” He takes a deep breath, bowing his head forward. “If you don’t want me, I’ll let you go—I’ll never bother you again.”
He looks up at me with a challenging gleam in his eyes. “But I want you to tell me that you don’t love me.” He stands, looking me directly in the eyes. “Tell
me you don’t feel the way your skin tingles when I touch it. Tell me your stomach doesn’t tighten with the sight of me. Tell me your heart doesn’t quicken when we kiss.”
He wets his lips. “If you can tell me all of that, I’ll leave you alone, Amy.”
I bite my bottom lip, thinking it over. My eyes fall to the ground between us. He places his finger under my chin and tips my head back. “I love you, Amy. And I’ll spend the rest of my fucking life trying to prove it to you.” He leans in, pressing his lips against mine once again, and this time, I can’t hold back. Even though my brain is telling me to run, my heart is keeping me locked in place.
Tyler hurt me worse than I’ve ever been hurt, but he also made me feel the happiest I’ve ever been. I guess that’s what love is. It’s loving wholeheartedly. It’s taking the chance that the person you’re giving yourself to could hurt you—and it’s the way my heart quickens, my stomach tightens, and my heart skips a beat. Even though it will take some work to get back to where we were, I want that work. Nothing in life is worth having if it’s just given to you. You have to work to appreciate it.
And I know nothing is worth as much to me as Tyler and the way he can make me feel.
The second my mind is made up, he tightens his hold on me and kisses me deeper. I can feel this kiss, his love, deep in my soul. My arms wrap around his neck, pulling him closer, and his hands latch around my hips, lifting me up against him. The next thing I know, my back is pressed against a tree while his hands tour my body.
“Tyler, we should slow down,” I pant against his lips.
“I’ll stop if you really want me to, Amy,” he whispers against the skin of my neck as he peppers it with hot kisses. “But I’ve thought about this moment since I left you.” He presses his growing erection against my core, causing me to let out a soft moan. “And I think you have too.” His hand moves up my thigh, under my dress, and brushes against my center. When my nails dig into his shoulders, his fingers slip beneath the material and push into me.
Claimed By Him: (Contemporary Romance Box Set) Page 28
