“Hmm, I’m not good at everything and maybe one person has expressed interest in me besides you, which doesn’t matter anyway because I only like you,” I pointed out.
I kissed her forehead and then the tip of her nose. What were the odds that we would be put in a room together like this? It made me more willing to believe in fate.
“Just because people don’t come and knock on your door doesn’t mean they’re not completely in love with you. You haven’t had to sit in the stands during one of your games. These girls have heart-eyes. It’s insane.”
She touched her hand to the side of my stomach and stroked it.
“I can’t compete with that,” Laura mumbled.
"You don't have to compete with anyone. There is no competition. I'm making heart eyes at you, not anyone else," I said.
I kissed her lips this time, just a soft press.
Her chin tilted up and she breathed deeply, wanting to steal me away. “You say that now,” she said, always so serious. The hem of my tee-shirt slipped up and I felt her fingertips lightly teasing my skin.
"It's not going to change any time soon," I said.
Her touch was getting to me more now. She knew how to turn me on so well.
“You can’t know that,” she breathed, aching similarly.
“It’s not going to change. I know what I feel,” I insisted.
“Yeah, well, being a bully about it can’t exactly protect me,” she teased. “You’re very cocky.”
"I'm not being a bully," I argued.
"Says the bully," she teased.
"What am I doing to bully you?” I asked. “You're the one questioning my feelings.”
“Oh wow. Okay. You’re right, I should just read your mind when you’re busy and believe you when you have time,” she smiled.
I frowned and looked down. "I don't understand," I said.
Guilt filled my mind and I didn't have any idea what it was about. I wasn't ignoring her just to ignore her. I gave her all my free time and now that wasn't enough.
“Forget it,” she said, watching me. “I’m gonna be insecure about you,” she confessed. “You’re too good not to miss or worry about losing. Nothing in my life ever makes any sense.”
"Hey," I touched her face with my fingertips. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll prove it by sticking around. I'm way too in love with you to go away.”
“Yeah,” Laura said. She let out a huff of air and tried to believe it. “People aren’t usually good to me Char.”
“Which is insane and not fair,” I reminded.
I wasn’t going to get through to her like this. She would have to see it to believe it. The people she’d been around in the past were the worst and I only hoped that she’d see that it didn’t have to be that way. Not everyone was an absolute dick.
“Hey,” I said, making her look at me before I kissed her softly. “Mmm, you’re fucking perfect.”
She stared at me seriously but like I hung the moon. The blush in her cheek always did things to me.
I decided that the paper could wait. I’d just get up early and finish it. She was more important and she needed me. I buried my face in her neck, resting my lips on her skin.
“And you smell really good,” I murmured.
Her arms hugged my body and I felt her fingers playing with my hair. "You're so addicting," she smiled.
“No one has ever said that to me before you and I’m kinda glad. I like you being my first a lot of things,” I said.
"I'm jealous of that," she said. "It'd be nice if you were my first."
“I’m your first girlfriend. At least that’s something,” I said.
"Hmm… I dunno," Laura said. "First official girlfriend," she corrected.
“I’ll take it,” I laughed and kissed her again.
Vic had never treated her well, I was sure of it from what she’d told me. It still pissed me off that she got physical with her but I couldn’t say much since it would just upset Laura. I did wonder if she might go back to Vic if the girl ever got her shit together and realized what she was missing.
“Maybe I should give you my letterman jacket at this stage,” I teased.
"Mmm, you should give me a lot of things," she teased.
“Like what? What does your heart desire, my love?” I asked.
"Probably more than you can give," she baited.
Her lips found mine and her tongue slipped inside my mouth real deliberately. Warm hands slipped into my skin and her nails teased my naked side beneath my hoodie.
I squirmed when she touched me and then leaned into it, registering the scratch from her nails. That was all she had to do to make me lose my mind. I reached my hand into her hair to pull her more firmly against me.
“I like it when you do that,” I said.
"Uh, yeah," she breathed into me, still kissing me. "I know."
Her fingernails trailed back down and up again and her tongue continued to taste inside me and be greedy.
I rolled over and put one of my knees between hers, breaking the kiss for a moment before leaning down for more. Now, I could put pressure on her sex and hear some of those sounds she made. I smiled into the kiss and nipped her lip with my teeth.
She whined and her hands found my thighs, fingers squeezing and digging into my skin. The pressure I put on her was instantly felt and I could tell.
She smiled and watched me, marveling up at me and shaking her head. "Fuck," she breathed, running a hand through her hair. "You kill me, baby."
I smiled at her and ducked down so I could travel her body, stopping at her waist to push up the hoodie she was wearing. It was one of mine, the first one she’d put on. I knew she had to have been missing me to put it on. She had free reign over my closet at this point. I loved seeing her in my clothes.
People just expected it now. We hadn’t told many people explicitly that we were together but we were inseparable at school so they mainly guessed or knew. I liked it like that. If someone asked I was happy to tell them but our business was our own concern. It was lucky that we were roommates.
I licked the hollow where her hip bone protruded a little. Nibbling on that area was pleasurable.
Laura wasn't scared to react to me or let herself be free. Her fingers slipped into my hair and she encouraged me to stay while she wiggled beneath me and squirmed from the pleasure.
I kissed up her torso, taking care to give each spot a little attention. I pushed the hoodie up over her right breast and attacked, licking and sucking her nipple. I drew her skin between my lips and used my tongue to stimulate her, loving every second.
It was hard to stay in one place since I loved traveling her and feeling all the things she could make me feel. Soon, I slipped back down and started to pull her panties off. The soft black fabric gave way easily and she lifted her butt to help me get rid of them. When I returned I could smell her wetness and I caught her eye as I leaned down to taste her.
I couldn’t help but smirk just before I reached my tongue out to stroke her wet lips.
"Ah, fuck," she whined, watching me. Her hands clasped the sheets beside her body and every muscle she had stiffened because of me.
My mind had stayed in the gutter since the first time we had sex and sometimes in the middle of class I’d catch myself daydreaming about how she tasted or felt. It was worse in the two classes we shared. Seeing her jump-started the feelings. We had been taking turns eating lunch with my friends and then alone on other days. We usually just ended up being all couply and gross on the days we were alone. It was perfect.
I remembered those times as I drew my tongue along her sensitive skin and nestled into the place that gave her the most pleasure. I could make her climax quickly but I wanted to make it bigger so I drew it out, teasing her with kisses, licks, and sucking. She was desperate, grabbing my head, scratching my back with her nails, and using half words to encourage me.
I stopped for a second to look at her, flicking my eyes up and raising my head. She opened her
eyes, face screwing up in a frustrating way. I smiled and waited for a second.
“I love you, baby,” I said loud and clear.
Laura groaned and pulled my pillow over her face to scream into it. Throwing a small tantrum, she kicked her legs.
“Woah, babe,” I said, reaching out to hold her still.
She calmed a little and I went right back to help her finish. I wanted to give her everything so I leaned over to push two fingers into her as I gave attention to her with my tongue. I knew she was so close so I didn’t hold back. She shook a little and then I felt her explode, grabbing my hair tight and rocking on the bed. I slid my fingers in and out of her until she became still and then I climbed up her body to rest beside her, giving her a sloppy kiss.
“You’re so hot,” I said.
She reached for me and greedily kissed me back just as sloppy as ever. "Fuck," she sighed. Then she kissed my cheeks and pawed at me lovingly. Her hands tugged at my pants and my sweater. She wanted my clothes off and that was nothing new.
“Here,” I said, helping her.
My hoodie hit the floor, followed by my pants and underwear. Being wanted was a drug and she made it even more addictive. I wondered how she would be this time. Sometimes it was hard to wait and draw it out and occasionally she took her time. I’d just messed with her a little and she knew I’d be so ready for her.
"Lay back," she said, pushing me as she crawled on top and started to suck my skin into her mouth and create dark little spots here and there. She’d gotten so good at it, I’d find her marks all over my body when I really looked.
Her love wasn't careful or restrained and it was obvious that she enjoyed loving me.
There was a touch of wildness in her and I loved it. She was so different from me in many ways that it worked. It meant we had some misunderstandings but that was all too common for any relationship. I just loved not being able to predict everything she did.
“Now, you’re killing me,” I commented.
Laura kissed down my stomach, sucking my skin and leaving marks.
"Good," I heard her pant.
Before I could answer, her lips and tongue were inside me, lighting me up. Wet and soft, she moaned and vibrated against my sex.
“Fuck!” I arched off the bed and pushed my body into hers. She was everywhere at once, inside me in so many ways. I could feel her intentions like she was swimming in my bloodstream, transferring her feelings into me.
I panted and felt her control my body with her hands. She was hungry for me. It was such a turn on that I couldn’t make myself be still to enjoy it like I usually did.
“Laura,” I gasped.
"Mmmm," she hummed into me, sucking my sex.
I tried to hold myself back because I wanted more but she was too good. I couldn’t stop myself from crashing over the edge. I squeezed my legs together, catching her there while I shivered and grabbed the bedsheets for support.
“Oh my god,” I muttered.
Pretty soon she was laughing and crawling back up my body, kissing the places she'd missed on the way down.
Her hands stroked and touched me and when her lips reached mine her tongue swam inside and I tasted myself.
"Mmm," she hummed, savoring me. "You are so fucking sexy," she breathed. I felt her hand take mine as she slipped me inside of her again almost lazily. Our days became like this now. Time slipping away, hours leaving us.
I tried to breathe and she gasped in my mouth causing my nipples to harden and my entire body to come alive. I gently stroked her with no particular goal in mind. I just enjoyed the feeling of it, knowing that it was her. There was no question about how head over heels I was now. I just wished she could see it.
I got why but it was frustrating that she didn’t trust it sometimes. I’d never felt this strongly about anything or anyone. It was so lame but I would sacrifice myself before I’d hurt her.
“I love you so much,” I groaned.
"I know," she breathed. "I love you too."
I snuggled into her and pulled her as close as possible. These were moments when stress fell away. I forgot about expectations and my schedule. There was so much. I didn’t feel like a teenager. We were expected to know and do so many things. Where to go to college, how to plan our entire future, and decide what we wanted to do for a career. All of that while maintaining good grades and participating in activities.
You got sent to the counselor if you weren’t immersing yourself in the Hanover life. I figured no one bothered Laura about it since she and I were so close and she came to my games. That was a good thing for her. Being close to me got her off the hook and I was glad it made her life here a little easier.
“Have you thought about coming to visit me in the summer?” I asked.
"Fuck," she let out softly. Her eyes shut up tight and then softened. "It hurts to think about then."
“It’s getting closer and I keep thinking about it. Seeing you is the only thing that keeps me from getting so sad,” I replied.
Laura grew quiet and lay against me motionlessly. Whenever we broached this she changed the subject or shrunk quietly away.
“We have to think about it eventually. Will your parents let you just come up for a month? I know they haven’t met me but maybe at parent’s day they could,” I tried.
"I dunno Charli," Laura said. "My parents don't want me to have friends. And if they knew what we… I don't think they'd like it," she swallowed nervously.
“Maybe you could get emancipated. You could just move in with us.”
"I don't think that's as easy as you think it is."
“I know. It was just a thought I said out loud. You really think they’d reject you because you’re with me?”
"They reject me already," Laura said. "Even the thought of going back home makes my stomach hurt."
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up. I’m an asshole,” I stated glumly.
"No," she sighed, guiltily. "It makes sense that you think about it. It's gonna happen. I just, don't have any control and it hurts me. You think of my family like they're normal and they're not."
“I don’t know. I just refuse to not see you. I could see if my parents would let me come stay close to you and visit. I could get a hotel room or something. That way your parents wouldn’t have to know that we…” The sentence felt so wrong.
I never wanted to hide her. It felt so counterproductive and unfair. Anyone that didn’t love their child no matter what was failing them.
Laura scoot down and off the bed, reaching for her hoodie and then finding a pair of pants. "If they find out about this I won't be allowed back here," she said, not seeing me.
“What?” I sat up and followed her movements. “Fuck, that’s messed up. Baby… Laura.”
I tried to get in front of her and make her look at me but she had moved to the window. I scrambled for my clothes and threw on my hoodie and pants, following her while she put on her shoes. The hardwood floor was so cold on my bare feet.
“We have to be able to figure something out,” I started.
I nibbled on my bottom lip and then swallowed hard.
“Wait, was that why you got sent here in the first place? Like… You and Vic?” I asked.
She stared at me and I couldn't tell what she was thinking. She swallowed hard and I think maybe I hurt her feelings. "No," she choked on the word. I watched her hair fall down out of the fabric as she shook her head. What didn't fall naturally, she pulled out and let hang to one side. Her body pushed gently past mine and she made her way to the door.
I walked after her, letting her open it. I didn’t know if I should follow her but I wanted to make sure she was okay.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
"I dunno," her voice cracked. She was suddenly crying and she apparently didn't want me to see. From the looks of it, she had her sights set on the backdoor at the end of the hallway.
Nadia stuck her head out of her open door and saw us walking away.
<
br /> “What’s up? Lover’s quarrel?” She asked.
I frowned at her and ignored the question. I knew it would make Laura worse. I waved her off and followed Laura out the back door. Cold air tried to swallow me but she was jogging by this point and she’d gotten some distance so I didn’t mind. I caught up easily as she slowed her run.
We’d made it to the edge of the campus near the woods and I didn’t say anything, just let her walk to the clearing where everyone hung out sometimes. She stopped there and let me stand by her. I stepped on a stick and winced. It hurt like hell but I kept it inside.
I put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her in, hugging her body to mine.
It was that easy with her. As soon as I touched her she collapsed into me and held me. Sad wet eyes pressed against my clothes as she wept.
“It’s okay, baby,” I soothed.
I kissed her temple and held her tight. We were both shivering from the cold and I knew my foot was bleeding from the way it felt. The sounds of birds and other animals surrounded us in the night. I tried to calm down, wondering how I could make anything better for her. This was way beyond me.
All I could do was hold her and that broke me.
Chapter 30
Charli held me, no doubt confused by my actions. I hadn't meant to run but I hated to cry about this crap. The thought of going home for the summer was actually terrifying. I hadn't heard from my parents since the morning I went out to fix my hair but I knew they were probably sending me somewhere. I'd wronged them in this unforgivable way and they couldn't stand to be near me. Not even for one miserable day.
The sight of me defied them. They didn't want to know me so they didn't look.
"I'm sorry," I spoke, my voice aching with my own bitterness and disgust.
I just wanted to touch her and forget.
It's all I ever wanted really. For her to touch me and see me and hear me and not think of me as some person I couldn't be.
“Don’t apologize. I’m the one that’s sorry,” she said and rocked my body a little.
"Why," I laughed, relieved by her sweetness. It was so hard to be level-headed. No one around me ever made sense like Charli did.
Love Like Crazy Page 37
