"Come on," I said.
I took her hand once they were out of sight and we walked back inside.
"You okay?" She asked.
"Me? Oh yeah, I'm happy. We don't have to worry about summer anymore."
We walked a few more feet toward our room and I stopped to open the door.
"Are you?" I asked.
"Hm? Oh. Yeah," she said, a little anxious still. "It just takes a second."
I led her inside and closed the door. She took a few steps before I pulled her back by the hand and kissed her long and sweet. Emotions swelled. Mainly, I felt soft for her.
"That help?" I asked.
"Mmm," she said, staring down at my lips. The calm invaded her. My Laura came back. "More than you know."
"We have a whole day now. Any ideas?" I asked.
"I've got a few," she smiled.
"I have a feeling that I won't have any clothes on if you get your way," I teased.
Before I finished my sentence she was pushing me back on my bed. We would forget everything within minutes. She consumed my thoughts when she was like this.
We had time to get lost without any immediate responsibilities and soon we would be far away. My parents weren't assholes like hers. They'd probably even let us stay in our own room when it was possible.
I appreciated them so much more now that I'd met Laura's. It didn't matter anymore. I had no worries. We had the summer to be like this, love drunk and consumed.
Chapter 36
We sat beside each other in the standard black waiting chairs. Charli's parents were on the other side of her with a chair between them that held her extra bag.
I traced the beds of her fingertips with my own, concentrating on what it did to me, how it mesmerized, just to touch.
Sun spilled in through the large airport windows and I remembered how we were a couple hours ago. We stayed up all night and didn't sleep.
We'd been separated for two weeks. The longest time we'd ever had to spend apart and every second of it was absolutely terrifying for me.
I didn't know what would happen or if things would change. Time apart meant my darkness crept in. All the bad thoughts and cruel memories. I wasn't at all good at keeping that away. Truth is, two weeks may as well have been two years. That's how painful it was.
I got emotional last night and I hoped it was okay. I was so happy, so relieved that she was touching and kissing me that I started to cry.
I was going to be emotional this whole trip. I already knew. But I was scared to confess it or talk about it. I didn't want for anything to be heavy. Charli was so fucking happy and it was like a whip to my heart, it made it gallop and pound. My entire chest glowed from the inside, sensation spreading.
Even just sitting here beside her I felt my whole body alive for her, wanting her.
"The plane ride is going to be the worst part. I hate being cooped up for nine hours but at least I have you for company unless you pass out on me," Charli said.
"I can try not to, if you want." We'd been up all night but I was sure I could do it if she needed me too.
“No, babe, you rest if you feel sleepy. I’m just hyper and babbling. I’m sure I’ll calm down when the excitement passes. You don’t want to miss anything when we land in London. It’s pretty amazing,” she replied.
"We'll see," I said. I knew her energy couldn't affect me but I was excited to go somewhere new where I never thought I would be. "Will you come get a drink with me?"
There was a Starbucks in the center of the terminal and people were buzzing about it like nervous bees. It made me want to be one of them, one of the hive.
“Yeah, of course,” she replied. She stood up and turned back to where her parents were talking to one another. “We’re going for coffee. Do you want anything?”
“Just a medium black,” her Dad said
“Nothing for me. Oh, maybe a water,” her mom replied.
I smiled at them and looked to Charli after they spoke. "It's weird that planes make you hyper," I laughed. We started to walk toward the crowded Starbucks line and stood in the back once we got there.
“It’s not the plane so much, I think. It’s the possibility of going somewhere I don’t usually go. I like exploring and you’re with me so that’s an added reason,” she replied.
"Just an afterthought, then?" I teased.
"What?" She flushed red. "No, weirdo, you are the thought," she replied.
"Uh. Not according to what you just said," I laughed.
Giddy happiness kept my cheeks flushed and my breath and a near pant. We'd been apart for so long, just standing close to her made me alive.
I held her close by the arm and refused to be far from her. Even a small gap would annoy me. This was much better.
"You're just messing with me but I'm compelled to protest since you still have no idea how amazing you are to me," she said.
She put a hand on my arm where we were touching.
"Amazing?" I asked, skeptically. Her eyes were so pretty and I swear every time I saw her she somehow found a way to get prettier. My heart thump thumped kinda hard.
"Yep. It's ridiculously true. I'm very happy to be yours and vice versa," she replied.
"Oookaay, you sound like a crazy person," I smiled.
“In what way?” She scoffed.
"Oh, you know how you are," I teased.
She narrowed her eyes and watched me.
“Uh huh, do you mean how I’m in love with you? Is that crazy?” She asked.
"Mmm… Yeah, probably," I said nervously. As her eyes watched mine, mine did just the same. They locked onto hers, refusing to move.
Her expression evened out and a smile appeared. She wasn’t playing now. She bit her bottom lip like she always did when she was trying to process emotions.
Without thinking, I bit my bottom lip too and felt the pangs of missing her. I reached forward and touched my hand to her cheek. It wasn't something I was used to, not being able to control myself.
I snuck her in close and stole a kiss. It'd been too long again. Too many minutes had snuck by.
I slipped my tongue inside her mouth and tasted her.
Someone in front of us cleared their throat and Charli broke the kiss.
“What can I get you?” The tired looking barista asked.
“Oh, yeah,” Charli started and then rattled off her order. “And whatever she wants,” She finished, indicating that I should choosing.
"Venti Vanilla Latte. Iced," I said. It bruised to have to separate but I was surprised I even went there in the first place out in public. Hanover was different. Kissing there wasn't a scandal like it could be in the real world, like here.
I looked around us and walked to the prep counter to try and distract myself. If I busied myself I wouldn't be making things weird for her.
She caught up with me and pulled my body into hers so she could hold me from behind.
“No getting away from me,” she teased.
"Hey," I laughed. My hands stroked her arms and I felt grateful. "I'm sorry," I smiled, embarrassed. I twisted around so I could hug her.
“I’m just being clingy because I missed you. Two weeks isn’t supposed to be long. I’m pretty sure it was more like five years,” Charli sighed.
"No. I feel the same way. It's bad," I breathed. "All I can think about is kissing you." The lips that take-up my dreams.
She pulled away from me so she could find my eyes.
“We could take the coffee back and wander until it’s time to board. It’d be kinda sexy to make out with you in the Delta Lounge,” she said, smirking.
I laughed, emotional. "Is it embarrassing for you," I wondered. I never thought to ask before. We were never really in this situation.
“No, I’d get on the speaker system and tell everyone in the whole place that you’re the most fascinating person ever so I’m definitely not embarrassed to kiss you in public. Making out in front of my parents might be a little weird but not strangers. Who cares
what anyone thinks?” She asked.
"Yeah?" I asked, surprised. I dunno why I thought she might not like it. I just get these thoughts sometimes and I worry.
I wanted to touch her so much I forgot to even stop and ask about it and that wasn't right.
“Yeah, did you think I would want to hide you?” She asked.
"I dunno," I said, embarrassed. "Maybe…"
“I’m proud to be with you, Laura. But what about you? Is it too much to be so open? I’d get it if it was,” she asked.
"No. It's um.. It's just… I've never had to think about it. And I wouldn't even think about it if you were…"
“A guy,” she finished.
"Yeah," I said, worried. "Is that stupid?"
“No, it’s not. People can be assholes. I’ve never had to think about it in reality either. It was always an abstract thing because I never dated anyone. It’s natural to think about it. It’s still not safe in some places. You know, it’s shitty. Hanover is a weird little place where it’s normal. The world isn’t like that but I’m not going to stop touching you or kissing you because of that unless it’s something you want, I mean,” she babbled.
"I just… I don't want to make you uncomfortable," I realized. "You mean too much to me."
“You won’t. Don’t hold back, please,” she said.
She grazed my cheek with her fingertips and looked at me, being cute and sweet.
"Fuck," I whined. "Stop, you're too pretty." I squeezed her sides. "I'm gonna like explode or something. Do you have any idea how hard it was to be away from you for so long?"
"About as hard as it was to be away from you but you had worse company so you win," she said.
"I had myself," I whined. "Rude."
The barista called her name. I broke away from her to help collect the drinks.
"You know I meant your parents," she said.
"My parents aren't company," I said.
"Good thing they're not around then. They wouldn't like if I did this," she said, before she kissed me.
My head spun and all my thoughts flew away.
When she kissed me it slowed things down, throwing out all the crap that wasn't important. I got so lost in it I almost dropped the coffee in my hand.
"Excuse me." An older lady in a thick cardigan with white hair was standing in front of us, trying to get through.
"Sorry," I breathed.
I moved out of the way, disoriented.
Charli met me at the back of the crowds and we walked together to drop her dad's coffee off.
Her parents were sweet. Far too pure for me. They were like what my parents pretend they want to be. Really I know my parents are more like me and they like fucking things up and being bad people. They just don't like when other people judge them or know about it.
We dropped the coffee and water off and Charli took my hand and led me down the hall aways where her parents couldn't see.
It was kinda romantic. People all around us were rushing or waiting and the planes kept on taking off outside but we couldn't hear them.
I sipped my coffee and wondered what she was thinking.
"If I tell you something do you promise not to judge me," I wondered.
"Always," she replied, nodding her head.
"Okay," I said, trying to muster up the courage. I stopped against a large window in the corridor and sat down on the ledge. "I still can't believe this is actually happening. Yesterday… Last night… This..." It was all like a dream.
Charli had stopped in front of me and scanned my face. A smile appeared on hers and she knelt down, resting her hands on my knees.
"It is happening and I have trouble with that too. Sometimes I figure you're a dream and I'll wake up at the start of last term still alone in my dorm room. I guess that's why I bugged you so much the last two weeks," she confessed.
She was honestly killing me. So adorable and wonderful.
"You didn't bug me at all. I missed you," I said, rubbing her hands with my own. "I thought you'd go out one night, find some better girl. Someone smarter… Prettier."
"Not gonna happen," she said. "I love you and I think you're all of those things you just said. I can't find someone better because they're isn't anyone like that for me. I get it though. I've always got that thought that Vic will steal you away in the back of my head."
"What?! That's crazy," I laughed. "She can't! She's hurt me too much. It's not possible, baby." Her fears made me feel better. If she didn't have fears I'd know she wasn't worried about losing me.
"Well, me finding someone better isn't possible either," she replied.
I growled a little, stressed. "You are so much better than me," I said, annoyed. "You're prettier. You're smarter. You're sexy as hell, like, way too sexy. It's insane." Just talking about it turned me on. It was infuriating. I reached forward and tugged on the strings of her hoodie. How the hell did I hold back for so long while living with her?
"That's not true." She got up and sat down beside me. "I'm not better than you. We're equal maybe but you're definitely prettier. Otherwise, I'd just date myself and we know I'd drive myself crazy."
She reached over and grazed my forearm with the back of her hand. "I think you're looking at it wrong. We both have good things and less good things about us and they balance each other. That's why it works. Besides, they've actually done studies that say people end up with people that are equal in attractiveness."
"I forgot to add freakishly talented," I muttered.
"You also forgot freakishly dense," she said.
“You’re not dense,” I defended. “You get aggressive sometimes but I can’t even be mad about that ‘cause it’s hot.”
Every time she tried to hurt Vic it stirred things up in me. Eventhough I knew it was wrong and I kinda hated it.
"Protective, maybe. I don't like when people hurt you is all," she replied.
“I hurt people sometimes,” I reminded. “And I start fights that I shouldn’t.” She didn't have to fight for me and I didn’t need that from her. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t make me feel good to know that she has and she would. I could’ve used that at Green Valley. Who knows what kind of person I would be if Charli had come to my school instead of me coming to hers. “Either way, I’m still in a state of shock about this. Trying to process everything.”
"I guess I'll always be biased. Can't help it, it's you," Charli said.
I stared across at her, grateful. “Thanks for being you.”
"You're welcome and same to you. I'm glad you moved into my room," she replied.
I couldn’t wait for this new year now. I missed knowing I had time with her and feeling safe and loved. The way she treated me when she was happy, the way we spent our every day.
Europe was going to be fun and this was all like some wild dream I could never come up with on my own. I could care less where we were as long as we got to be together. But we were really going to spend the next month traveling the world, seeing things I’d never seen before or even thought to see.
"What are you thinking?" She asked.
“I’m happy,” I said, shocking even myself.
I reached out and touched her face.
“I just want to be with you.”
"Oh, good! Me too. We're gonna have fun. Just wait till we can run around Paris on our own, stopping at cafes and staying in late."
“I can’t even imagine,” I confessed. Just watching her is like seeing the world. I don’t need anything else. Everything else is an unexpected bonus. “This summer is going to ruin me for the world.” Unlimited time with Charli, free from her friends and from soccer and from school. It’s enough to make me scream with joy but I don’t want to tell her that. She probably won’t believe me anyway. All I want is her.
There’s no doubt we’ll do amazing things. But all I want to do is hold her hand and watch her be happy. Kiss her lips in the night and taste her skin all over. I want to keep her forever, for myself.
"You won't have to imagine so
on. Maybe we can take the train somewhere fun by ourselves."
“I’m really excited,” I realized.
"Me too. Almost too excited. I might have a stroke," she joked.
“If all that running you do doesn’t give you a stroke I’m sure this won’t,” I mocked. “Come ‘ere,” I said, pulling her in against me so I could hold her. I leaned back on the window ledge and pulled her back between my legs so we could both rest and look outside. My arm wrapped around her collarbone. “You’re mine now, okay? No more escaping.”
"I'm happy to be kept. As long as you feed me regularly," she said.
“No,” I teased. I rocked her body in my arms. “Food’s too distracting.” I rested my lips in the fabric of her hoodie and breathed her in. “Fuck, you smell good,” I whispered.
"And I didn't even get in a shower this morning. Someone was too addictive. I'm honestly surprised we got out of bed," she said.
She leaned her head back to rest more of herself against me.
“I didn’t want to,” I reminded. Being back together after all that time apart was actual heaven. All her touches and sounds.
"I got hungry. It was my fault," she said, frowning.
"You always get hungry," I teased.
Cuddling up with her made me so happy. I loved her so much.
"I love you," I whispered.
"Mmm, I love you too," she replied.
If I had my way I'd just hold her forever but the plane was coming and our adventure was beginning soon. A flu a ting vessel was about to steal us away. It was all so surreal.
"You know what I just thought about?" She didn't wait for me to answer. She was too excited.
"Since we're flying first class we can lay on one of the seats and have a makeshift bed. You're so tiny, I know you'll fit right up against me," she said.
"I'm not tiny," I laughed. "I'm like almost as tall as you. And you're definitely skinnier than me."
I had baby fat and she was like all lean and muscle. Fuck, her abs alone could crush me.
The thought made my heart flutter. Laying together on one chair was ideal. "We're sitting behind your parents right?" That'd be weird if they were next to us. Even if they were across the aisle.
Love Like Crazy Page 46
